I have time now, to focus.
Soccer season is over (we ended with a win!) and I think I'm happy about it. I'll never stop loving the game, never stop wanting to get better... but there's just something about mean teammates and a careless coach that makes me happy to leave this all behind. I want to get back on track with school. I want to focus on my friends. I want to focus on not focusing on everything all at once. I want to breathe, you know? I guess I'm just happy that I'm so optimistic all of a sudden and that I have so much time now. Wooo!
Also, I love my sister to death, and she is leaving in August. I want to focus on being with her and soaking up as much time as I possibly can with my best friend and my life. We had a sad moment today. I was a mess. I think about her not being at HB now and again... and I kind of fall apart. I'm not exactly sure how this is going to work without her around. This being... everything that isn't really compatible with eachother but when she's here, she puts this facade of peace down on the table so that everything appears okay. I have a lot of time before Rachel goes. I know. But I just think about it sometimes.
I'm bored of the people who I thought were the best ever. They really... aren't. And I'm bored of trying to re-convince myself that they are. I think I need to focus on opening myself up and taking in the people who very well may be right in front of my eyes.
My school is completely racist. And it's totally obvious. And it totally sucks.
We got some food at El Taino the other day, and my dad and the owner/waitress (??) are good friends and always talk to each other in spanish when we come. So usually I just marvell at the speed of this beautiful language. But look when we went two days ago or whatever, I fucking understood her. I mean not word for word, but in general, I understood her. And it was immediate, too. It was just a wonderful ending to a pretty sour day.
homework...
Also, I love my sister to death, and she is leaving in August. I want to focus on being with her and soaking up as much time as I possibly can with my best friend and my life. We had a sad moment today. I was a mess. I think about her not being at HB now and again... and I kind of fall apart. I'm not exactly sure how this is going to work without her around. This being... everything that isn't really compatible with eachother but when she's here, she puts this facade of peace down on the table so that everything appears okay. I have a lot of time before Rachel goes. I know. But I just think about it sometimes.
I'm bored of the people who I thought were the best ever. They really... aren't. And I'm bored of trying to re-convince myself that they are. I think I need to focus on opening myself up and taking in the people who very well may be right in front of my eyes.
My school is completely racist. And it's totally obvious. And it totally sucks.
We got some food at El Taino the other day, and my dad and the owner/waitress (??) are good friends and always talk to each other in spanish when we come. So usually I just marvell at the speed of this beautiful language. But look when we went two days ago or whatever, I fucking understood her. I mean not word for word, but in general, I understood her. And it was immediate, too. It was just a wonderful ending to a pretty sour day.
homework...