Hella Early
so yea its 12:17 in the AM just finished watching Kill Bill Vol. 1
im so stoked to see volume 2...i might just have multipule orgasms in the movie theatre (spelling?)
went to the mall with Kayla today...very weird things happened to say the least... we got food...i got panda express (Kayla wanted to know if they served pandas...sadly they dont) and she went to Bourbon Street. The people were really shady and didnt speak english and totally ignored her...i thought it was pretty funny but she didnt cuz she got ripped off. oh well. went to hot topic to look for her boots. way too many bondage clothes in that store. i looked around and rubbed things on my face to claim them as mine. people stared at me and i kinda stopped. JUST REMEMBERED...DONT EVER GO TO HOT TOPIC IN SMITH HAVEN MALL. they have an 11 year old working there, and a crazy guy who is like..."size 7? well these are size 10...wait....................yea they are...and these have the straps on them....oh you didnt want the straps....................hhmmmmm.........interesting......well lemmie go check in the back they may have a size 4" we were like, what? so kayla got some boots, i got a Mario wristband (its not really mario, its a one-up mushroom) and a white trash pin.
then we left hot topic. next on the list was saturday matanee (spelling?) it wasnt really saturday, it was tuesday, but none the less, we went there. I found my quinten tarentino movies all on DVD (pulp fiction and jackie brown were both collecter edition DVDs, so i spent a few pretty pennies)
kayla tried taking money out of my accout on the ATM in spanish, but we couldnt follow along so we hadda try it again in english. whatev.
so we left the movie place and decided to walk over to TORRID! the fat girls hot topic! it was totally empty, except for the fat lady who worked there. She scared me, but kayla didnt look to shaked...but i sure was. walked around in circles, and then we left.
we saw a hermit crab stand and i tried to free them. made an ass out of myself RUN MY CHILDREN! BE FREE! GO FASTER OR THEY WILL SCOOP YOU BACK UP! YOUR FREE NOW!! you get the drift.
then we went to this other booth and watch penguins go up stairs and down slides.
shady.
as we walked pass the wonderful establishment of JC PENNEYS we saw the weirdest thing: this guy was viciously scraping at his lips! in public! i started laughing and imitated him, and kayla died (laughing, she didnt REALLY die, shes still with us) so she sat down on the floor and was like 'hm gotta tie my shoe' and then some guy speed by on a wheelchair and that made us go even more insane.
so we get up and leave, and go to victorias secret. PINK CARPET! i was out of place there to say the least. SO then kaylas like...'hm wheres my wallet...is it in the bomb?" (PS i should interject here...the 'bomb' was our nickname for her boots...the box they were in and the bag around it looked like a suitcase...and we were shady enough, thus THE BOMB") so we search the bomb for the wallet, no dice senor. so shes like hm gotta find it....
we go back to TORRID and the fat lady scares me and tells us its not there...
then we go to movie place, nope not there
then we go to hermit crab stand...no dice
then we go to the penguin stiars lady...CLUE! shes like (in her indian accent)
"i saw these two guys over there pick something up and go that way" so were questioning her and shes like 'there were to guys, wearing jackets, and one was bigger than the other"
THATS IT! CASE SOLVED! WHAT A GOOD DESCRIPTION!
so were like....oooookkkkk and get something to drink and call the wallet stolen. then we walk into Spencers. big black bean bag penis? yea, we bought one...and X rated paper and X rated bag...lots of X rated goin on...
I SAW MY BOSSES BOYFRIEND IN SPENCERS i was sacred for my life he already hates me and my job thinks im in california for the vacation i hope he didnt see me....
anyway back to adventures!
kayla is like...LETS GO ON THE CAROUSEL! so we walk over there and its 2 bucks a ticket...and im like kayla i only got 3 but the guy runnin the thing was cool and hes like...gimmie 2 and ill pretend i didnt see one of you...so were like sweeeet while were waiting for the ride to stop, hes telling us how he saw these guys get carried out for carrying guns in the mall, and how these chicks were shoplifting and an undercover cop chased them out the door, knocked them to the ground and fought with them for 10 minutes.....AAHH!
so me and kayla get on the teacup thing that spins really fast on the carousel. tight squeeze for both of us....but we fit and it was fun...the door on it hated us and held on to our feet trying to get in... i harrased people walking by..'hey! nice hat! woah ill beback around in a second!" fun times
now were both broke walk through the dollar store kayla rubs jelly beans on her face...the lady stares us down and we run out....
then we found a table and played with our empty ice tea bottle for like a half hour
LIL BOW WOW? THEY SHOULD CHANGE IT TO LIL MEOW MEOW!
i loved you in like mike!
that was about it
it was awesome night at the mall on a tuesday fun!
<3
~Nick "Jazzy" Foxy (lettuce?)