Wrong on so many levels

[canadianna]

So, I'm at church, dealing with the many surprised congratulations that come from a whole lot of people just finding out I'm up the duff...

Murray (aka: SuperOldandWrinkledMan with HugeOldManEyeBrowsandTuftsofHairGrowingOutofPlacesNoTuftsofHairShouldRightlyGrow):  I hear I am to congratulate you.
Me:  Oh yeah?  What amazing thing have I done lately?
Murray:  I hear you are with child.
Me:  Yup.  I got myself all pregnant over Christmas.

...in which the conversation takes a disturbing turn...

Murray:  So, is it Guy's, or Santa's?
Me:  Uh, well, I've never really been one for massive amounts of facial hair...
Murray:  Admit it.  Santa came down your chimney and stuffed your stocking.

I seriously need to find myself another church.