Fanfic: Advanced Genealogy (4b/4)
When she gets home, she slams the door behind her, and then stops.
Now what?
She needs something to keep her busy. Keeping distracted is the only way she's going to cope.
So she cleans. She cleans the entire apartment from top to bottom.
She's scrubbing the kitchen floor when Troy and Abed arrive home. Troy heads immediately for his "room", but Abed comes to sit at their bar counter.
"How's Troy doing?" Annie asks him from the floor.
"Not great. How are you doing?"
Annie sighs and drops her sponge into the bucket. "I have no idea."
Abed nods thoughtfully. "Do you want to talk about it?"
"No, but thanks."
"Okay. Do you want help cleaning?"
Annie smiles at him gratefully. "No, but thanks. I'm just doing this to distract myself anyway."
"Oh, you should come watch a movie with us, then. You look tired."
She IS tired. Physically, mentally, and emotionally. Watching a movie suddenly seems like the best idea she's ever heard. So she agrees, and lets Abed help her up from the floor.
They watch Caddy Shack, which does a decent job of keeping the thought-flies at bay. About halfway through the movie, Abed orders them a pizza.
There's a knock on the door five minutes later.
"That was fast," Troy remarks. "Can they even MAKE a pizza that fast?"
"I doubt that's the pizza, Troy," Abed says, pausing the movie and getting up.
Troy looks confused. "Who else would it be?"
Annie shakes her head; she has no idea.
"Annie!" Abed calls.
Her stomach does a flip. She tries to remember to take deep breaths as she heads for the door, telling herself that it won't be him, anyway.
But sure enough, there he is, standing in the front hallway.
Annie crosses her arms, feeling the need to guard herself. "What do you want, Jeff?"
At least he's making eye contact this time. "I just... want to talk to you."
"What if I don't want to talk to you?"
He sighs. "Well, I can't say I blame you. Look, I'm sorry I yelled at you, okay?"
"You're sorry you yelled at me," Annie repeats.
"Um, yeah."
"That's it?"
"Well, no, but..." Jeff looks to Abed, who is still standing in the hall with them. "Can we talk somewhere else?"
Annie's not sure she wants to hear it. Apparently she can't tell his truth from his lies, anyway, so how is she supposed to know he's being genuine now? "No."
"Annie..."
"I don't want to talk to you right now, Jeff. Just go home."
"Annie, come on."
Her anger flares up at him. "That's the best you've got? 'Come on'?"
"No. I mean I'm not-"
"How much if what you said last night was true?" Annie suddenly finds herself asking. It certainly wasn't intentional. She's walking toward him too, now, when did that happen?
"I- I, um-" Jeff stutters, instinctively backing away from her.
"How MUCH, Jeff?"
He shakes his head. "I don't know."
"Ugh! Just get out!" She's had enough. She pushes by him and opens the door.
"No, Annie, wait, just-"
"OUT."
Jeff looks like he's going to argue some more (or maybe he does, what the hell does Annie know?), but he walks to the doorway instead. "Just so you know, I'm not leaving."
Annie glares at him, her hand itching to slam the door in his face. His stupid, handsome, pointy face. "You're not leaving?"
"No, I'm going to sit in the hallway until you're ready to talk to me."
She laughs humorlessly. "Yeah, sure, of course you are."
"I mean it, Annie."
"Yeah? Well I'm tired of figuring out what you mean, Jeff. So, do whatever you want!" She doesn't quite slam the door, but it's fairly satisfying nonetheless.
"Are you okay?" Abed asks her.
"I'm fine, just... don't let him in. He'll be gone soon, I'm sure."
There's no way he's going to stay out there.
He'll sit there for ten minutes, and then leave. If he hasn't left already.
But when the pizza comes half an hour later, he's still there.
Okay, MAYBE he'll sit there for an hour. MAYBE. Then he'll give up, and go home.
Annie tries desperately to pay attention to the movie. And to the next movie after that. But knowing that Jeff is sitting right outside her front door is making it impossible. Her thoughts aren't even solitary flies any more, they're like a... swarm.
A swarm of locusts.
Of very pissed off, aggressive, LOUD locusts.
And no matter what she does, they won't shut up.
Before they all go to bed, Abed peeks out the door. "He's still here."
Okay, it's been hours now. Annie is equal parts impressed and exasperated. Why won't he just go home? "And I still don't want to talk to him. You can tell him I'm going to bed, I'm sure that'll get him out of here."
Actually, Annie's not sure at all. She's not really sure of anything at this point. But for the second night in a row, she's exhausted, and just wants to go to bed. So she does.
But of course... she can't sleep.
She spends the night tossing and turning, running the entire events of the last three days through her head. It doesn't help any, but she can't stop herself. She can't distract herself or keep herself busy enough to drown out the swarm. Not when he's twenty feet away.
So she breaks apart and analyzes every single interaction that happened between them over the last seventy-two hours. Then she goes further back, and starts doing the same thing for previous week. And then the previous month, and then the previous three YEARS, until it's all a jumbled mess of feelings, and denial, and jealousy, and looks, and deceit, and hidden meanings, and HER and JEFF even though there is no her AND Jeff.
Then, finally around 4:00am, she FINALLY passes out.
She dreams of locusts.
When she wakes up sometime later in the morning, she can smell... something cooking.
It smells good.
In a complete fog, Annie drags herself out of bed to see what Troy and Abed are making. And to make sure they're not going to burn the place down.
But when she opens her bedroom door, she's thoroughly confused. There's somebody in her kitchen, but it's certainly not Troy or Abed. He's WAY to tall to be-
No.
No way.
There's just no possible way.
Is there?
Annie cautiously approaches the kitchen, not willing to rule out the possibility that she's completely hallucinating. If she is, though, then her hallucination is making pancakes. That's... a little elaborate to be just in her head.
She walks slowly to the end of the bar.
It's Jeff.
And he looks, well, about how you'd expect someone to look having spent the night in a hallway. He either doesn't see her, or chooses not to acknowledge her right away.
So Annie watches him for a second. All of her frustrating thoughts are still there, but they seem duller now. Maybe she's just too tired to hear them.
Jeff flips a finished pancake onto a plate (rather impressively, Annie can't help but admit), and turns to hand it to her. "Blueberry pancake?"
She looks at the pancake, and then back up at him. "Where are Troy and Abed?"
He frowns. "They went to go scout scene locations. Do you... do you want me to leave?"
Annie sighs heavily. The pancake does look really good. "No," she says, accepting the plate. "Were you really out there all night?"
"Yeah."
Dammit, now she feels bad. "Well... I wasn't doing this to be cruel."
"I know."
"I just really didn't think you'd stay."
"I said I would."
"You've said a lot of things, lately."
Jeff swallows hard. "Yeah, I know, but if you're not ready to-"
Annie thinks about it for a second. "No, I'm ready."
He nods, looking nervous. He takes her plate back from her, and puts the pancake in the oven, on top of a small pile he's already keeping warm in there. Then he takes Annie's arm, and leads her to the couch.
They sit.
Annie is nervous too; she has no clue what he's about to say, but she's willing to hear him out.
Jeff takes a deep breath. "I'm sorry."
"For what?"
"For how I treated you yesterday. You were right, you've done nothing but help me, and I was a completely jerk to you."
It's a start... "Yeah, you kinda were."
"No, I really was. I know that. And I'm really sorry. I just... my mom said those things to me after we dropped you off, and I panicked."
Annie sighs. "It's not just yesterday, Jeff."
He looks down. "I know."
"I mean, I feel like I'm going a little insane, here. And I've been insane before, so I actually know what I'm talking about. Just when I think I know what's going on between us, it turns out I don't." She hesitates for a second. "Do you even want to be my friend?"
Jeff's head snaps back up. "What? Why would you ask that? Of course I do!"
"Well, you certainly don't act like it. Not all the time, anyway. Honestly, Jeff, you kiss me at the Tranny Dance, and tell me not to tell anyone, meanwhile you're off telling your mom that we're dating. You act jealous, and then tell me I'm reading too much into things, and then you turn around say the exact opposite, but you do it in the midst of a bunch of lies and half-truths. You just..."
"Confuse you."
"Yes!"
"If it's any consolation, I confuse myself just as badly. Probably worse."
Annie sighs again.
Jeff takes her hand; she doesn't pull away. "I want to be honest with you, Annie, I do. Because you deserve that. So just... ask me what you want to know, and I'll tell you."
She looks at him for a minute.
This is what she wanted, right? The chance to sit down with Jeff and ask him what the hell is going on? And here he is. So why is this making her nervous?
Annie closes her eyes and asks the first question that pops into her head. "Were you ever serious about Slater or Britta?"
"No, that part was true."
She keeps her eyes closed. "Were you really jealous of Vaughn the entire time I dated him?"
"Yes, also true."
She opens her eyes. "Why did you pick me?"
He slowly shakes his head. "You were... the first person that came to mind."
"Why didn't you tell me?"
He winces. "Okay, yeah, that was a lie. I didn't forget. I just couldn't tell you. I couldn't explain it."
Annie's dancing around the big question, she knows that. But she's too scared to ask. So she goes with, "Why were you so mad at me yesterday?" instead.
He gives her a curious look. "I thought we'd covered that one."
"No, why were you so mad at ME yesterday? Did it never occur to you that maybe your mom thought you were in love with me because you were PRETENDING to be in love with me?"
"Honestly? No, it didn't."
That irritates Annie. "Well, why not? I mean, why did you assume I had done something?"
"Because, I wasn't trying that hard!"
She narrows her eyes at him. "What?"
"I wasn't... trying that hard to pretend, Annie. It's not like I consciously acted differently around you. I mean, everything I did, everything I said... none of it was planned. I took Abed's advice and just improvised, but it was really... easy. Besides, YOU were the one who kissed ME twice that day. What was that about?"
Annie blushes. "The first one was just a decoy."
He raises his eyebrows. "And the second one? Right before my mom arrived?"
"That was for... luck."
Jeff gives her a look.
"Okay, fine. I don't know. I don't know why, Jeff, it's not like I planned out anything I said or did! It was just instinct."
"So... you weren't trying that hard, either."
Annie softens a bit. "No, I wasn't."
"And yet somehow my mom still thought we were a happy couple."
"Seems that way."
Jeff looks down at their hands. "What do you think that means, exactly?"
"GAAAHHH IT MEANS YOU GUYS LOVE EACH OTHER!!!" Troy explodes, popping out from around the corner. "GOD YOU GUYS SUCK! SO! MUCH!!!"
They can only watch in stunned silence as he storms past them through the living room. Annie hears the door to the Dreamatorium slam shut. Abed is close on his heels. They hear the door open, then close again.
Annie looks back to Jeff. He nods toward the Dreamatorium. "So, Troy seems to be doing better."
She shakes her head in disbelief. "Do you think they were just hiding in the front hall this whole time?"
"Yes, yes I do. I guess I was too sleep-deprived to notice them."
Annie takes a deep breath. There's not much point in beating around the bush now. Just ask him. Ask him. DO IT! "Jeff... do you have feelings for me?"
He looks her straight in the eye. "Yes."
It's almost enough to make her tear up, but she keeps her composure. She clears her throat. "So... what do you want to do?"
"Well," he says, shifting a bit closer to her. "I want to eat breakfast. And take a long nap, and shower, and brush my teeth. Not necessarily in that order."
"Uh huh..."
"But after that... I'd... really like to take you out to dinner."
That cozy warmth bursts through Annie, in the best way possible. Not only does it obliterate her swarm of thoughts, but it leaves behind a giddiness that she's never quite felt before. She bites her lip to stop herself from beaming. "Can I think about it?" she teases him.
"Wow, you really do suck."
Annie laughs, and pulls him off the couch so they can go have breakfast. "Do you think Troy will be okay?"
Jeff nods. "Yeah, Britta will come around. She's just in denial."
"Oh, did she talk to you about it?"
"A little bit Thursday night, and a little yesterday morning. I tried to tell her that she was being ridiculous, but then she called me a hypocrite, and... I couldn't really argue with that."
Annie and Jeff set the table for four, in case Troy and Abed want to join them. As they sit down to eat, Annie realizes she has one lingering question.
"Hey, the dean never told us how he knew about our fake relationship, did he?"
"No, I guess he didn't. But he was the one who brought my mom to find me in the first place."
"Oh that's true. I can't imagine the dean would pass up the opportunity to talk to Jeff Winger's mother for a bit." She realizes the implications of that as soon as she says it, and looks at Jeff in alarm.
He looks equally as appalled. He puts down his fork. "Excuse me for a sec, I think I have to make a phone call."
Then he stands, and presses a kiss to the top of her head, like it's already an old habit for things to be this way.
And like it's exactly the way things should be.
Epilogue: What Marilyn Said
"Just drop me off at the front," Marilyn says as they near the hotel.
"Are you sure?" Jeff asks her.
She nods, smiling.
He pulls up to the curb and turns off the car.
"I had a very nice time tonight, Jeffrey, thank you."
He smiles at her. "Yeah, I'm... glad you came."
Marilyn chuckles. "ARE you?"
"Okay, granted, I wasn't exactly looking forward to it, given the circumstances, but... yeah, I am." Oddly enough, it's true.
"Just try to make it less than a year before we do this again, okay?" his mom teases.
"Well, now you have my phone number, address, email, AND you know where to find me five days of the week. It should be a lot easier for you to track me down next time."
"Jeffrey..."
"Kidding! I'm just kidding."
Marilyn pats his hand, and is about to get out, but he has to ask her. He shouldn't ask her, but he HAS to ask her.
"Hey, mom..."
She turns back to him. "Yes?"
God, he really shouldn't be asking this. But dammit, he HAS to know. "What do you think of Annie?"
Marilyn breaks into a wide smile. "I think she's absolutely lovely. Why, were you worried I wouldn't like her?"
"No, no, I knew you'd like her. I just... I don't know... didn't you wonder, at any point, whether I was lying about her too?" Oh god, why did he say that? He's going to blow it.
His mom looks at him curiously. "No, I didn't."
He raises his eyebrows. "No?"
She smiles, shaking her head. "Not for a second."
"Why not?"
"Jeffrey, I may not know you as well as I thought I did, but you're still my son. And I have never seen you look at anyone the way you look at Annie."
Jeff doesn't know how to respond to that.
"It's a little bit scary, isn't it?"
He narrows his eyes. "What is?"
"Being in love."
"...A little bit," he hears himself agreeing.
Marilyn smiles at him sympathetically. "I know your father and I didn't set a great example for you growing up, but don't let that deter you."
"Deter me from what?"
She shrugs. "Being in love. Falling head over heels for her, which you clearly already have. Getting married, having babies..."
"Yeah, I don't think we're quite there yet."
She smiles knowingly. "You will be. I'm just saying, make sure you let her in. You don't need to guard yourself around Annie. You might lose her if you do."
"Hmm."
"You don't have to worry. She loves you, too, you know."
Jeff looks at his mom. "You think?"
"No, Jeffrey, I KNOW she does."
"Why, did she say something?"
Marilyn simply smiles, pulls out her phone, presses a few buttons, and then hands it to him.
It's a picture of him and Annie. They're sitting at the table in Jeff's apartment, he has his hand resting on her shoulder, and they're smiling right at each other. It gives Jeff a feeling that he can't describe, but it makes him nervous. Extremely, extremely nervous.
"I didn't even see you take this."
"Neither of you did," she says, taking back her phone and opening the door. "Good night, Jeffrey."
"Yeah, good night," Jeff replies absently. "Hey, can you-"
"I already emailed it to you."
"Thanks."
Jeff doesn't want to think about tonight. He doesn't want to think about everything that happened, everything he said (and why), and he especially doesn't want to think about how that picture makes him feel.
He wants to drink. A lot. And that's exactly what he's going to do.
But before he does, Jeff can't resist doing one thing.
He checks his email.