i am mad at a stage where i can't seem to handle my own
I have this thing where, if I'm not updating very often, it bugs me a little if my last entry and the one I start writing fall on the same day of the week. I look at the little calendar on my journal, and if there aren't a lot of entries, I at least want them to be on different days of the week so it looks more varied. I don't know, this is just a tiny neurotic quirk of mine, probably one that no one else has, but it obviously doesn't bother me too much since I'm writing now and my last entry was also on a Thursday.
Anyway. Procured a bunch of adorable/fun winter/Christmas-themed icons last night from the seasonal icons community that's being spotlighted. My new default and the one I am using on this post included, of course. I like this one because, obviously, I love puppies, and also I miss my furry babies and am perhaps most excited about seeing them when I go back to Jersey. Way more so than about seeing the people they live with, at any rate. :-/
I don't know, I'm intensely not looking forward to the trip back, and yet, there are certain specific things I am very much looking forward to. I think I'm most dreading the drive back. It's LONG, for one; I'm going to be stressing about the car the whole time, for two; and I really just don't want to be making the trip, so it doesn't make it a very fun prospect. I made myself a brand new playlist for my ipod, filled with Christmas music and other stuff I don't listen to nearly enough, to try and make the drive a little better, but I don't know if it will be enough. Plus there's also the fact that getting back costs money - I have to get gas, I have to put money on my EZ-Pass for tolls (should do that after I finish this, probably), I have to stock up on birth control before I go, etc.
But then, one of the things I'm looking forward to is the fact that I've already got three definite babysitting gigs lined up, and will hopefully be able to schedule more, which means making money. Kristian set me up with a family she knows for the Friday after I get down there, and they have me scheduled from 4 pm to 11 or midnight, which will be over $100 right there. Plus, I won't have to pay rent from my next unemployment check, which will mean I can put that money towards catching up on bills and stuff, which will then alleviate some tiny portion of stress.
And of course I'm grateful that being in Jersey gives me a chance to see all the people I miss there. I guess I'm mainly worried about how open-ended this trip is. I have no idea when I'll be coming back up to Canada, because I have no idea when the LMO will come back or when my medical exam results will be processed, and neither of those things are in any way under my control at this point. When I went down in October, aside from the intense sadness I experienced as I left Canada, I was happy about the trip, because it was a chance to see people and have fun, but I also knew exactly when I was coming back. We did the long distance thing long enough; I don't really want to go back to it for a month or two or who knows how long?
Whine, whine. I know. I handled it fine before, and I know that if all my documents come in, then going back will be the real beginning of our future together and it'll be wonderful. Just a lot of unspecified worry and stress floating around in my brain right now. Anyway, tomorrow Becca and I are hanging out and making cookies, Saturday is the book club holiday party and I probably need to do laundry before then, Monday I will pick up birth control and pack (UGH!) and then it's the final episode of Canada's Worst Driver, annnd Tuesday I leave. Wish me luck!
Anyway. Procured a bunch of adorable/fun winter/Christmas-themed icons last night from the seasonal icons community that's being spotlighted. My new default and the one I am using on this post included, of course. I like this one because, obviously, I love puppies, and also I miss my furry babies and am perhaps most excited about seeing them when I go back to Jersey. Way more so than about seeing the people they live with, at any rate. :-/
I don't know, I'm intensely not looking forward to the trip back, and yet, there are certain specific things I am very much looking forward to. I think I'm most dreading the drive back. It's LONG, for one; I'm going to be stressing about the car the whole time, for two; and I really just don't want to be making the trip, so it doesn't make it a very fun prospect. I made myself a brand new playlist for my ipod, filled with Christmas music and other stuff I don't listen to nearly enough, to try and make the drive a little better, but I don't know if it will be enough. Plus there's also the fact that getting back costs money - I have to get gas, I have to put money on my EZ-Pass for tolls (should do that after I finish this, probably), I have to stock up on birth control before I go, etc.
But then, one of the things I'm looking forward to is the fact that I've already got three definite babysitting gigs lined up, and will hopefully be able to schedule more, which means making money. Kristian set me up with a family she knows for the Friday after I get down there, and they have me scheduled from 4 pm to 11 or midnight, which will be over $100 right there. Plus, I won't have to pay rent from my next unemployment check, which will mean I can put that money towards catching up on bills and stuff, which will then alleviate some tiny portion of stress.
And of course I'm grateful that being in Jersey gives me a chance to see all the people I miss there. I guess I'm mainly worried about how open-ended this trip is. I have no idea when I'll be coming back up to Canada, because I have no idea when the LMO will come back or when my medical exam results will be processed, and neither of those things are in any way under my control at this point. When I went down in October, aside from the intense sadness I experienced as I left Canada, I was happy about the trip, because it was a chance to see people and have fun, but I also knew exactly when I was coming back. We did the long distance thing long enough; I don't really want to go back to it for a month or two or who knows how long?
Whine, whine. I know. I handled it fine before, and I know that if all my documents come in, then going back will be the real beginning of our future together and it'll be wonderful. Just a lot of unspecified worry and stress floating around in my brain right now. Anyway, tomorrow Becca and I are hanging out and making cookies, Saturday is the book club holiday party and I probably need to do laundry before then, Monday I will pick up birth control and pack (UGH!) and then it's the final episode of Canada's Worst Driver, annnd Tuesday I leave. Wish me luck!