no it's never gonna be that simple
I suspect you would all like a post about my trip to Florida. I haven't really felt like writing one yet, so for now, be content with some pictures.
Instead, I am going to bitch about my lack of internship. Hey, guess what, I still don't have one yet! What's killing me most is the fact that every single time I get the slightest chance of a lead, my hopes go up, and every single time those leads turn into nothing, I get super disappointed and frustrated. I was feeling pretty positive for awhile - I'd met with my professors and we'd come up with a plan of sorts and Angello was going to make some calls for me and see if she could help. Then I found another internship posting in New York and applied for it online (deadline for that one's not till the 19th, so I'm still hoping on that one), and even more exciting, last Thursday I got a call from a company who'd seen my resume on the NASP website and they were going to see what they could do about finding me opportunities up north. Great! Progress! Something! But, of course, today I got an email from the woman I spoke with last week, telling me that unfortunately, all the "positions that we do have available require Master’s Degrees." Fucking fucking hell. I hate Rider. I hate that I was stupid enough to pick a program that doesn't break it into two degrees and give you your Master's after the first year and your Ed.S. when you finish the program. I hate that I didn't have any idea when I chose my grad school (not like I had much of a choice, but still) that it would even matter whether I had both degrees. UGH.
So I'm pretty super hardcore frustrated at this whole process. I feel like I've done everything I can be expected to do and I've been working at this for so freaking long, and I have nothing to show for it. I hate that of all the dozens of places I've called and applied to, I'm down to maybe 5 places that I might still have any shot at, and that's probably being generous. I hate that I don't know what else to do to secure an internship. I hate that pretty much everyone else in my program has an internship and I don't. I hate that everyone can afford to take the unpaid ones in Jersey when that's so not a feasible option for me. I hate how many people don't even bother calling me back. I'm sure you all mean well, but if you're going to leave me a comment, please please don't tell me to just keep trying or that you're sure I'll find something soon. Obviously I'm going to keep trying, and no one but the people who are looking at my resume can really guarantee whether I'll have something at any point in time. I just . . . want to know what's preventing me from getting an internship, and I don't think that's something anyone reading this can answer, unfortunately.
Ugh. In other news, I also need a summer job. Anyone know any places that are hiring and won't make me want to shoot myself to work there for a summer? Since I don't have to babysit tomorrow, I'm planning on making that my job hunt day, so any suggestions of places to go are welcome. Yeah, did I mention that once again I'm broke? Funny how not having a steady income will do that to you.
Only a month, almost exactly, till I go to Toronto again. Thank God. Though that reminds me I need to discuss the details of that trip with Sarah . . . Anyway, I'm really looking forward to it. I'll write about Florida sometime soon, when I'm not in as much of a complaining/angry/frustrated mood. Speaking of those feelings, my first summer class, which was supposed to be a breeze with a really great professor has now turned into a nightmare class with a professor I can't really stand. Awesome. Gah. Okay, less bitching next entry. You'll just have to deal with this for now.
Instead, I am going to bitch about my lack of internship. Hey, guess what, I still don't have one yet! What's killing me most is the fact that every single time I get the slightest chance of a lead, my hopes go up, and every single time those leads turn into nothing, I get super disappointed and frustrated. I was feeling pretty positive for awhile - I'd met with my professors and we'd come up with a plan of sorts and Angello was going to make some calls for me and see if she could help. Then I found another internship posting in New York and applied for it online (deadline for that one's not till the 19th, so I'm still hoping on that one), and even more exciting, last Thursday I got a call from a company who'd seen my resume on the NASP website and they were going to see what they could do about finding me opportunities up north. Great! Progress! Something! But, of course, today I got an email from the woman I spoke with last week, telling me that unfortunately, all the "positions that we do have available require Master’s Degrees." Fucking fucking hell. I hate Rider. I hate that I was stupid enough to pick a program that doesn't break it into two degrees and give you your Master's after the first year and your Ed.S. when you finish the program. I hate that I didn't have any idea when I chose my grad school (not like I had much of a choice, but still) that it would even matter whether I had both degrees. UGH.
So I'm pretty super hardcore frustrated at this whole process. I feel like I've done everything I can be expected to do and I've been working at this for so freaking long, and I have nothing to show for it. I hate that of all the dozens of places I've called and applied to, I'm down to maybe 5 places that I might still have any shot at, and that's probably being generous. I hate that I don't know what else to do to secure an internship. I hate that pretty much everyone else in my program has an internship and I don't. I hate that everyone can afford to take the unpaid ones in Jersey when that's so not a feasible option for me. I hate how many people don't even bother calling me back. I'm sure you all mean well, but if you're going to leave me a comment, please please don't tell me to just keep trying or that you're sure I'll find something soon. Obviously I'm going to keep trying, and no one but the people who are looking at my resume can really guarantee whether I'll have something at any point in time. I just . . . want to know what's preventing me from getting an internship, and I don't think that's something anyone reading this can answer, unfortunately.
Ugh. In other news, I also need a summer job. Anyone know any places that are hiring and won't make me want to shoot myself to work there for a summer? Since I don't have to babysit tomorrow, I'm planning on making that my job hunt day, so any suggestions of places to go are welcome. Yeah, did I mention that once again I'm broke? Funny how not having a steady income will do that to you.
Only a month, almost exactly, till I go to Toronto again. Thank God. Though that reminds me I need to discuss the details of that trip with Sarah . . . Anyway, I'm really looking forward to it. I'll write about Florida sometime soon, when I'm not in as much of a complaining/angry/frustrated mood. Speaking of those feelings, my first summer class, which was supposed to be a breeze with a really great professor has now turned into a nightmare class with a professor I can't really stand. Awesome. Gah. Okay, less bitching next entry. You'll just have to deal with this for now.