and winter just wasn't my season
a few more random pictures of events that have transpired with the cso staff this summer. we're a bunch of silly kids and we like to have fun.
let's start with a totally random picture of me being me. i don't really know what the purpose of me standing on that thing was, probably just because it was there and i could.
then we had a wine and cheese party at some point, which was really just an excuse for us to wear cute sundresses. i'm totally serious. the reason we had this party was so we could look cute.
and don't we? this pic is the wonderful girls of lodge 8 - jamie, christine and me. for some reason i feel my dress did not look as cute in the pictures as it did in person, but oh well.
because it was a wine and cheese/country club party, we took pictures where we all tried to look snobby. this would've worked, except someone said something that made me laugh right as christine was about to take the picture, and this resulted in me trying not to smile. and dear god, look how pale i am! i could blind someone with light reflecting off my skin. oh and my drink of choice for the wine and cheese? mike's hard cranberry lemonade.
me, jen sykes, and jamie - girls who survived the horror of saporito's sociology of education class. ::shudder::
so then, sometime later, we had a mafia party. i will preface this by saying i have no clue how to look like a mafia lady. but evan and kyle did a lovely job of looking like hitmen:
and here are the lovely mafia ladies:
me, the christines, and meg. i think i look utterly ridiculous in this picture. i know what look i was trying to go for . . . and this was not it. i merely post this so i can make fun of myself.
and finally, two nights ago was evan's birthday, so we decided to have a power hour. i did not participate in the power hour, but watching everyone else do it was highly amusing.
meg and evan - aren't they cute?
this is christine and james, the people i report directly to for work. they're cool.
me and christine. she looks slightly concerned because i have just invaded her bubble. a fun night, even if i wasn't drinking.
you know, i almost feel like i post pictures of happy things to prove to myself that i am actually okay. because sometimes i feel like i'm not . . .
anyway. after another tear-inducing incident a couple nights ago, i think (hope) i'm doing better again. i still find it rather unfair that a) he can still upset me so much when i'm not even talking to him, and b) that this is so hard on me while he's probably not suffering in the least. shouldn't he be hurting even a little for all the crap he's put me through? i guess that's not how it works. but again, i have people who love me, and that helps, and i will just continue to throw myself into work and whatever opportunities for fun come up in attempts to keep myself distracted long enough to make myself believe that i'm happy.
::sigh:: that all sounds a lot more depressed than i really am . . . it's just that i know there are many times that i act like everything's okay because if i think it's okay long enough it will have to become true at some point. that and because the alternative is to let myself sink into a miserable little ball of lonely and sad, and i'm stronger than that. as tempting as the idea has seemed once or twice, i know how disastrous it would be if i actually let that happen. so on the days where i feel less than wonderful (which, let's be honest, are a hell of a lot more frequent than they used to be) i just try to keep myself at "okay" or better, and i try not to focus on the things that suck. there are definitely times when the feeling of something missing from my life is harder to deal with than others, and there are also times when i can fill my day with enough other stuff that i don't notice the big hole. yeah yeah, it takes time, blahblahblah . . . i just wonder how much time it will take before i start to feel normal most of the time again.
yeah, like i said, that sounded a lot more unhappy than i think i am right now. it's just stuff that i needed to get out. last night was an amusing evening at books-a-million with rachel. also, i had SO much caffeine yesterday, or at least a lot more than i've had since school ended. christine got me to try the frozen chai at the grind, which was yummy. mmmmmmm. then i had a can of soda while at work, then a silver raz with dinner (not caffeinated, no, but we can just add it to the list of less-than-healthy beverages i consumed yesterday), and then a hot chai at books-a-million. and yet, i had no trouble at all falling asleep last night, go figure. i don't think caffeine has ever really affected my ability to sleep, but it does occasionally give me low grade headaches if i go off it suddenly. ::shrug:: anyway, while at bam, i bought the curious incident of the dog in the nighttime because tala was talking about it and it looked interesting. recently, i have also purchased the handmaid's tale, by margaret atwood (which, by the way, is amazing so far - i haven't been able to put it down), and invisible monsters by chuck palahniuk (sp? - this is the epitome of laziness, you see; that book is on one of the other desks in this room and i just don't feel like getting up to go see how the author's name is spelled). yay for having good books to read. and to end the paragraph of random thoughts, i think i'm going to go off birth control once i finish the prescription refills i've already purchased. if i'm not having sex anymore, i don't really see much reason to stay on it, and i can always go back on at some point in the future when there's a boy worth having sex with again. does anyone know of any reason why i shouldn't go off it? i can certainly deal with not paying $24 a month for it, that's for sure.
all right, enough with the random ramblings. you all have a lovely day, kiddos.
let's start with a totally random picture of me being me. i don't really know what the purpose of me standing on that thing was, probably just because it was there and i could.
then we had a wine and cheese party at some point, which was really just an excuse for us to wear cute sundresses. i'm totally serious. the reason we had this party was so we could look cute.
and don't we? this pic is the wonderful girls of lodge 8 - jamie, christine and me. for some reason i feel my dress did not look as cute in the pictures as it did in person, but oh well.
because it was a wine and cheese/country club party, we took pictures where we all tried to look snobby. this would've worked, except someone said something that made me laugh right as christine was about to take the picture, and this resulted in me trying not to smile. and dear god, look how pale i am! i could blind someone with light reflecting off my skin. oh and my drink of choice for the wine and cheese? mike's hard cranberry lemonade.
me, jen sykes, and jamie - girls who survived the horror of saporito's sociology of education class. ::shudder::
so then, sometime later, we had a mafia party. i will preface this by saying i have no clue how to look like a mafia lady. but evan and kyle did a lovely job of looking like hitmen:
and here are the lovely mafia ladies:
me, the christines, and meg. i think i look utterly ridiculous in this picture. i know what look i was trying to go for . . . and this was not it. i merely post this so i can make fun of myself.
and finally, two nights ago was evan's birthday, so we decided to have a power hour. i did not participate in the power hour, but watching everyone else do it was highly amusing.
meg and evan - aren't they cute?
this is christine and james, the people i report directly to for work. they're cool.
me and christine. she looks slightly concerned because i have just invaded her bubble. a fun night, even if i wasn't drinking.
you know, i almost feel like i post pictures of happy things to prove to myself that i am actually okay. because sometimes i feel like i'm not . . .
anyway. after another tear-inducing incident a couple nights ago, i think (hope) i'm doing better again. i still find it rather unfair that a) he can still upset me so much when i'm not even talking to him, and b) that this is so hard on me while he's probably not suffering in the least. shouldn't he be hurting even a little for all the crap he's put me through? i guess that's not how it works. but again, i have people who love me, and that helps, and i will just continue to throw myself into work and whatever opportunities for fun come up in attempts to keep myself distracted long enough to make myself believe that i'm happy.
::sigh:: that all sounds a lot more depressed than i really am . . . it's just that i know there are many times that i act like everything's okay because if i think it's okay long enough it will have to become true at some point. that and because the alternative is to let myself sink into a miserable little ball of lonely and sad, and i'm stronger than that. as tempting as the idea has seemed once or twice, i know how disastrous it would be if i actually let that happen. so on the days where i feel less than wonderful (which, let's be honest, are a hell of a lot more frequent than they used to be) i just try to keep myself at "okay" or better, and i try not to focus on the things that suck. there are definitely times when the feeling of something missing from my life is harder to deal with than others, and there are also times when i can fill my day with enough other stuff that i don't notice the big hole. yeah yeah, it takes time, blahblahblah . . . i just wonder how much time it will take before i start to feel normal most of the time again.
yeah, like i said, that sounded a lot more unhappy than i think i am right now. it's just stuff that i needed to get out. last night was an amusing evening at books-a-million with rachel. also, i had SO much caffeine yesterday, or at least a lot more than i've had since school ended. christine got me to try the frozen chai at the grind, which was yummy. mmmmmmm. then i had a can of soda while at work, then a silver raz with dinner (not caffeinated, no, but we can just add it to the list of less-than-healthy beverages i consumed yesterday), and then a hot chai at books-a-million. and yet, i had no trouble at all falling asleep last night, go figure. i don't think caffeine has ever really affected my ability to sleep, but it does occasionally give me low grade headaches if i go off it suddenly. ::shrug:: anyway, while at bam, i bought the curious incident of the dog in the nighttime because tala was talking about it and it looked interesting. recently, i have also purchased the handmaid's tale, by margaret atwood (which, by the way, is amazing so far - i haven't been able to put it down), and invisible monsters by chuck palahniuk (sp? - this is the epitome of laziness, you see; that book is on one of the other desks in this room and i just don't feel like getting up to go see how the author's name is spelled). yay for having good books to read. and to end the paragraph of random thoughts, i think i'm going to go off birth control once i finish the prescription refills i've already purchased. if i'm not having sex anymore, i don't really see much reason to stay on it, and i can always go back on at some point in the future when there's a boy worth having sex with again. does anyone know of any reason why i shouldn't go off it? i can certainly deal with not paying $24 a month for it, that's for sure.
all right, enough with the random ramblings. you all have a lovely day, kiddos.