"!," Fake News RPF
Title: !
Fandom: Fake News RPF
Rating: PG-13 for nekkidness and harsher language than I normally employ.
Word Count: 853
Summary: Jon knows that the best kind of protest is a peaceful one. If you get naked along the way, so much the better.
Notes: Written for prompt 100: Exclamation Mark from the second prompt table at fakenews_fanfic. The plot kind of got away from me.
Disclaimer: All copyrighted material referred to in this work, and the characters, settings, and events thereof, are the properties of their respective owners. This work is not created for profit and constitutes fair use. Reference to real persons, places, or events are made in a fictional context, and and are not intended to be libelous, defamatory, or in any way factual.
Suited up for rehearsal, Jon swung open his office door and stepped out into the hallway. Or, he tried to step into the hallway, but was met with an unexpected obstacle.
"Holy mother of fuck, what they hell are you doing?" He glanced up and down the hallway but it was otherwise empty. "Did you ... lose a bet? What the hell?"
"Bet?"
Jon pinched the bridge of his nose and closed his eyes. He took a deep breath. It was true that his staff could be a little, well, rambunctious at times, but rehearsal was supposed to start in ten minutes.
"I, okay. You do ..." Jon waved his hand vaguely up and down, "Whatever you're doing, I've got rehearsal. See you later."
"See ya!" called the very naked Rich Blomquist as Jon walked away, shaking his head.
*
Jon was the first one on set for rehearsal, which was unusual but not unheard of. He slipped (or, more accurately, slumped) into his seat and began flipping through the script. Soon enough he was scribbling notes in the margins and trying to rewrite that one poop joke that still wasn't working.
"Hey Jon," came Jason Jones' voice. "Having trouble?"
"Yeah." Jon waved Jason over to the desk without looking up. "It's this joke, I don't think - Dude."
Jason was leaning across the desk to see the script and, though Jon couldn't see anything below the other man's waist, he was at the very least shirtless.
"What?"
"'What'? Seriously?"
That was when Jon noticed that several of the writers were sitting in the audience, as well as Aasif Mandvi, who had a segment with Jason that day. And they were all naked.
"... This is supposed to be a joke, right? Because if it is than I am appropriately weirded out, so you can all get dressed now. Please. Before we need to start filming."
"What joke?" asked Jason, still leaning into Jon's personal space.
Jon was boggling at how dedicated to the joke everyone seemed when Aasif stood up, revealing far more than Jon needed to see, and came over to the desk. He slipped a piece of paper across to Jon. "I can't believe you didn't get the flyer," he said.
The flyer in question was clearly a copy of a copy. The edges were grainy and the plain text was smudged, but through it all Jon could still read key phrases such as 'silent protest', 'unexpected method', and 'uptight conservatives'. He read it over several times before looking up and addressing the room at large.
"You're all convinced this is real? And you think it'll work? 'Cause my first thought is still 'elaborate prank'."
Aasif shook his head. "It's real, Jon, just look outside. I saw three nude pedestrians last time I looked out a window."
"In this neighbourhood?"
The people in the room all nodded. Jon got up and headed for the nearest door, passing two naked interns on his way. However, once outside he was unsurprised, if slightly disappointed, to see nothing unusual. He was about to admit that his staff had gotten him and gotten him good when a commotion down the block caught his eye; a police officer was scuffling with a young man and - yes! - the man appeared completely naked apart from some socks and a pair of shoes. Then two more naked people, a man and a woman, turned the corner and started walking Jon's way. He ducked back into the building.
It looked like this protest was really happening. The citizens of the United States were standing up and demanding attention in the one way they knew no one would ignore, by baring their assets for everyone to see. It was so crazy, Jon thought that it just might work.
Well, no, he thought it was batshit insane and that no one in their right mind should be walking around New York in the buff. But it would also piss off a whole lot of the right people.
"Okay," he said, walking back onto the set and loosening his tie. "Let's do this thing. I feel like a jackass in this suit, anyway." He threw off his suit jacket and began working on his shirt. "There is no way in Hell the FCC will let this episode see the light of day; you know that, right?"
"Well ..." said Steve Bodow, smirking.
"What?" asked Jon, toeing off his shoes and undoing his belt.
The smirk got bigger. "I may have convinced a few people to turn a blind eye, just for tonight."
Jon's pants were pooled around his ankles and yet he was the most dressed person in the room. Soon, he knew, the audience would be full of eager fans and then, later that night, his nudity would be broadcast across the nation and around the world. That was a lot of people staring at his hairy Jewish ass.
Oh well. If he were afraid of a little exhibitionism, he wouldn't be in this business in the first place. He let his boxers fall to the floor.
END
Fandom: Fake News RPF
Rating: PG-13 for nekkidness and harsher language than I normally employ.
Word Count: 853
Summary: Jon knows that the best kind of protest is a peaceful one. If you get naked along the way, so much the better.
Notes: Written for prompt 100: Exclamation Mark from the second prompt table at fakenews_fanfic. The plot kind of got away from me.
Disclaimer: All copyrighted material referred to in this work, and the characters, settings, and events thereof, are the properties of their respective owners. This work is not created for profit and constitutes fair use. Reference to real persons, places, or events are made in a fictional context, and and are not intended to be libelous, defamatory, or in any way factual.
Suited up for rehearsal, Jon swung open his office door and stepped out into the hallway. Or, he tried to step into the hallway, but was met with an unexpected obstacle.
"Holy mother of fuck, what they hell are you doing?" He glanced up and down the hallway but it was otherwise empty. "Did you ... lose a bet? What the hell?"
"Bet?"
Jon pinched the bridge of his nose and closed his eyes. He took a deep breath. It was true that his staff could be a little, well, rambunctious at times, but rehearsal was supposed to start in ten minutes.
"I, okay. You do ..." Jon waved his hand vaguely up and down, "Whatever you're doing, I've got rehearsal. See you later."
"See ya!" called the very naked Rich Blomquist as Jon walked away, shaking his head.
*
Jon was the first one on set for rehearsal, which was unusual but not unheard of. He slipped (or, more accurately, slumped) into his seat and began flipping through the script. Soon enough he was scribbling notes in the margins and trying to rewrite that one poop joke that still wasn't working.
"Hey Jon," came Jason Jones' voice. "Having trouble?"
"Yeah." Jon waved Jason over to the desk without looking up. "It's this joke, I don't think - Dude."
Jason was leaning across the desk to see the script and, though Jon couldn't see anything below the other man's waist, he was at the very least shirtless.
"What?"
"'What'? Seriously?"
That was when Jon noticed that several of the writers were sitting in the audience, as well as Aasif Mandvi, who had a segment with Jason that day. And they were all naked.
"... This is supposed to be a joke, right? Because if it is than I am appropriately weirded out, so you can all get dressed now. Please. Before we need to start filming."
"What joke?" asked Jason, still leaning into Jon's personal space.
Jon was boggling at how dedicated to the joke everyone seemed when Aasif stood up, revealing far more than Jon needed to see, and came over to the desk. He slipped a piece of paper across to Jon. "I can't believe you didn't get the flyer," he said.
The flyer in question was clearly a copy of a copy. The edges were grainy and the plain text was smudged, but through it all Jon could still read key phrases such as 'silent protest', 'unexpected method', and 'uptight conservatives'. He read it over several times before looking up and addressing the room at large.
"You're all convinced this is real? And you think it'll work? 'Cause my first thought is still 'elaborate prank'."
Aasif shook his head. "It's real, Jon, just look outside. I saw three nude pedestrians last time I looked out a window."
"In this neighbourhood?"
The people in the room all nodded. Jon got up and headed for the nearest door, passing two naked interns on his way. However, once outside he was unsurprised, if slightly disappointed, to see nothing unusual. He was about to admit that his staff had gotten him and gotten him good when a commotion down the block caught his eye; a police officer was scuffling with a young man and - yes! - the man appeared completely naked apart from some socks and a pair of shoes. Then two more naked people, a man and a woman, turned the corner and started walking Jon's way. He ducked back into the building.
It looked like this protest was really happening. The citizens of the United States were standing up and demanding attention in the one way they knew no one would ignore, by baring their assets for everyone to see. It was so crazy, Jon thought that it just might work.
Well, no, he thought it was batshit insane and that no one in their right mind should be walking around New York in the buff. But it would also piss off a whole lot of the right people.
"Okay," he said, walking back onto the set and loosening his tie. "Let's do this thing. I feel like a jackass in this suit, anyway." He threw off his suit jacket and began working on his shirt. "There is no way in Hell the FCC will let this episode see the light of day; you know that, right?"
"Well ..." said Steve Bodow, smirking.
"What?" asked Jon, toeing off his shoes and undoing his belt.
The smirk got bigger. "I may have convinced a few people to turn a blind eye, just for tonight."
Jon's pants were pooled around his ankles and yet he was the most dressed person in the room. Soon, he knew, the audience would be full of eager fans and then, later that night, his nudity would be broadcast across the nation and around the world. That was a lot of people staring at his hairy Jewish ass.
Oh well. If he were afraid of a little exhibitionism, he wouldn't be in this business in the first place. He let his boxers fall to the floor.
END