ALLIES AND LIABILITIES #15
Title: Allies and Liabilities
Author: Brooke
Summary: Nine years later... There wasn’t much for me to do to help myself anymore, so here I am, returning to the very place where it all started.
#15
Nine years later
I don’t know if you’ve had such a feeling, or, more so a chance to feel this way. It is usually caused by a death or a loss of something important to you. It could just be me; I always had a peculiar way of dealing with things, or getting over something. As I was told, there is a certain amount of stages after you lose someone dear to you. Over time I’ve forgotten each one, but I do remember, it started with perhaps anger, and then somehow ended with acceptance. What bothered me was that the anger never left, and I knew that this anger…no rage wasn’t entirely caused by the murder of my dearest friend, but partly the mystery of my existence, over the years a lot of secrets and hidden truths that were held from me, broke loose, and now I don’t know what to do. I had no clue who I was anymore, I had no clue where to go. For years…I had to live with knowing that I wasn’t, I shouldn’t have been cursed with this horrid life, and with the wicked people who posed as my family and relatives my entire life. What hurt most though, was that everyone knew…the wolves, the Thompson family, everyone, and I couldn’t believe how monstrous the reason for it was.
It’s been two months since the murder of Idina. There wasn’t much for me to do to help myself anymore, so here I am, returning to the very place where it all started.
I stepped out of my rental car and onto the grass of my Swedish farm. The grass was hidden underneath a thin blanket of snow. I wasn’t sure when it was exactly, but I knew it was a little past Christmas. This didn’t make me feel any happier, as I thought it would. I stood on the property and stared at my past. I glanced over to my left and saw the bright red barn…well what was left of it. Half of it was smashed and destroyed, the other half still remained standing, but it seemed it could collapse at any moment. My jaw clenched and my nostrils flared, remembering that was the place the wolves first attacked me and killed my…my so-called uncle. My eyes found the place in the middle of the debris where there was a cleared space; supposedly where I was found under the building. I resisted the urge of screaming and throwing anything I could find at the place.
I calmed my speeding heart and looked away to the house. I hesitated before I walked to the front door. I slid my hand into my pocket and pulled out the key; which I’ve held for around twenty years. The inside of the house was vaguely recognizable. I knew my way around the area, but I hardly remembered it. No memories flitted in my mind; it was just an old house. I walked slowly up the creaky stairs to my old bedroom. Most of the furniture had been sold; so the only thing left in my room was a mirror and a small wooden table. I walked to the mirror; noticing some scribbled markings on it. I caught a glimpse of my jaw and my old vampire bite. I frowned and placed my fingers over it.
My thoughts ran wild and out of control. Memories, memories best forgotten returned, and they seemed to hit me in the face, because I found it painful. I remembered Felix, and the pain he caused me when he bit me(both mentally and physically). I thought of Forks and my first real school. I remembered a foggy day, and I was leaving the school to find Bella Swan in the parking lot. Then his name popped into my mind, remembering it was the first time he tried to kill me, he chased me threw a forest, and I got lost. His name rang in my mind, and it wouldn’t leave. Jacob Black. When I was a girl, when I left Forks, I would have done anything to return to see him. Now I believed there was no point. Over the years I began to believe there was no such thing as love. And there was no reason to see him again, and by now, I’m sure the time has changed his mind about me as I did about him. I was but a mere girl, a stupid, troubled teenager who had no clue how blind she really was to the bigger picture. I know I promised to go back, but the time has no doubt changed me immensely. He wouldn’t know who I was anymore; I’d just be a waste of his time. He was practically nothing to me now.
I focused on the figure in the mirror, as the thoughts raced around my mind; I clenched my jaw and let out a short yell before I threw my fist at the reflection. The mirror shattered and all the pieces fell to the ground; blood began to gush out of my hand, dragging the thoughts out of my mind as well. I took my wounded hand into my other and felt the cuts sew back together.
Over the years I’ve had the time to figure out this peculiar healing ability I have, I’ve learned how to control it and how to make it stronger (both ways, to heal and to cause pain). At first this new ability was foreign to me, I never felt human. Now it is as important to me and my vision, almost my sixth sense.
Afterward I flexed my fingers and headed to the bathroom to wash up.
* * *
I got dressed again in a fresh pair of cloths I brought with me. I wondered for a long time what I should do. I knew it wouldn’t be safe for me to stay too long. In a way I didn’t mind just staying here, waiting for either the wolves to find me or Abby. I couldn’t care less. As I thought of what might have happened if one of my enemies found me here, I began to think of Jacob Black again. I wondered if he would be one of those wolves now…looking to kill me. I placed my hand on my neck and began to rub. I hadn’t realized how lonely I was until now. I sighed left the house.
I sprinted as fast as I could. I jumped over the old fence, used to keep the horses, and continued to run through the field. The grass had grown very long, and was probably as tall as my waist if it wasn’t weighed down by the snow. The air was crisp against my face as I ran, so I tried a poor attempt of lowering my face to avoid the wind, but I only managed to lose my balance and stumble over a large branch. I yelped when I hit the hard ground. “You shouldn’t be out here without a coat” a gorgeous voice told me, I leaped to my feet, getting ready to defend myself. I wasn’t expecting this visitor, so for a moment I just stared. “My you’ve grown, but you’ve hardly changed!” Alice cooed, “You look like corpse though, you must be cold. Go inside!” she continued, almost as if there had never been any trouble over the years. “Alice, why are you here…” I paused for a moment, “If you’re here to kill me…just get it over with.”
“Come inside, I have a surprise for you!”
“I don’t like surprises” I muttered, remembering the last surprise I had…but before I could think any more, I was swept off my feet and then I was set down in the living room of the house on the only couch. Alice stood in front of me. “What do you want” I hissed coldly, she frowned, she wasn’t used to this tone in my voice, I could tell. “I brought you an invitation” she smiled, I glowered.
“An invitation…I would have expected you to have sent Bella”
“We don’t believe Bella is ready to be alone with-”
“A human” I ended her sentence, she nodded, “I thought you’d know by now that I can handle anything, one vampire is no trouble” I continued, glaring into her eyes.
“Well I’m sorry” she said with a short sigh, “Like I was saying. I come with an invitation for you” she repeated, pausing to smile, “your sister is getting married tomorrow, and she would love it if you showed up” Alice smiled widely, she seemed ready to squeal. My jaw flexed and I felt my heart flutter with anger.
“So that witch didn’t have the nerve to come and kill me herself?” I shouted, “Tell Abigail…” I began but Alice cut in. “There will be no fighting, Abigail…the entire family has agreed to control themselves for one night, Aelphaba misses you dearly, she would be so grateful if you came!” I could tell she was telling the truth, but I didn’t budge.
“I thought I missed her wedding” I sighed, rubbing my forehead.
“She wanted you to be there so she postponed it”
“Eight years is an awfully long time to postpone a wedding…” I murmured, thinking of the ancient castle.
“They have eternity together. And they would have sent someone to find you sooner but…”
“They were hoping I’d be dead by now?” I wondered with a smirk on my face.
“Natasha, you disappeared for six years! Not even the Volturi could find you! You have no idea how relieved some of us are….! Please, please just come, you won’t regret it” She pleaded, I looked to the floor. “Alice…I can’t…you have no idea what these people have done to me…” I shook my head slowly.
“She’s your sister, for Christ’s sake!”
“God damn it Alice! She isn’t my god damn sister!” I shouted furiously, she groaned and rolled her eyes.
“I know that!” She shouted back, but without any anger. My rage built up even more, I was ready to show her the door, and just…just…
“Natasha, please…There’s someone there to see you…I wasn’t supposed to tell you, it was supposed to be another surprise…but if it’s the only way to get you to go…” Alice’s voice seemed to get even more cheery. I sighed miserably…an other surprise. I have expected it to be Bella.
“Alice, nothing will make me go” I breathed, her smile widened, if that was possible.
“Bella had a little visit with an old friend a couple days ago; she is very disappointed in you Natasha for not visiting him yourself! I must say, I’m very surprised as well! So we brought the idea of inviting a special guest to Fabala’s wedding, she thought it was a wonderful idea!” She closed her mouth, and it seemed as if she could hold in the name any longer. But I knew who it was, and I was not happy, I was everything but happy.
“Jacob is in Volterra?” I asked, almost gagging. Alice nodded, with a huge grin. She seemed to expect some more enthusiasm. “Get out” I whispered, desperately holding back my anger.
“Excuse me?” she asked, I looked away then exploded.
“Get out!” I yelled loudly, rage pulsing through my body like magma traveling down a volcano. She expected this reaction. And before she left she murmured, “Just think about it, your plane ticket is in your car, you leave in three hours.”
Then she was gone and I let my head fall into my hands. I wondered what the right choice would be. The last time he was in Volterra, he almost died. Would the same thing happen now? Alice did say that the fighting was put off for a while, maybe nothing would happen? Maybe I didn’t have to go? I certainly didn’t want to go. But I knew Abigail wasn’t the type to keep her promises…and I certainly didn’t want him to die either, considering he was one of the only…only people who wanted to see me. I mean, why else would he go all the way to Italy? My heart sank when I realized he might be alone. Then before I knew it, my mind was made.
* * *
I decided that I was only going to pop in to see how it was going; I was not going to draw any attention. I was only going to stay to make sure Jacob left unharmed. I vowed not to let him see me. It’s been nine years since I last saw him; I remember even now how I felt when I left. Nine years is too long, at least for me. I knew things would get awkward if he saw me. Besides, he was better off without me.
Author: Brooke
Summary: Nine years later... There wasn’t much for me to do to help myself anymore, so here I am, returning to the very place where it all started.
#15
Nine years later
I don’t know if you’ve had such a feeling, or, more so a chance to feel this way. It is usually caused by a death or a loss of something important to you. It could just be me; I always had a peculiar way of dealing with things, or getting over something. As I was told, there is a certain amount of stages after you lose someone dear to you. Over time I’ve forgotten each one, but I do remember, it started with perhaps anger, and then somehow ended with acceptance. What bothered me was that the anger never left, and I knew that this anger…no rage wasn’t entirely caused by the murder of my dearest friend, but partly the mystery of my existence, over the years a lot of secrets and hidden truths that were held from me, broke loose, and now I don’t know what to do. I had no clue who I was anymore, I had no clue where to go. For years…I had to live with knowing that I wasn’t, I shouldn’t have been cursed with this horrid life, and with the wicked people who posed as my family and relatives my entire life. What hurt most though, was that everyone knew…the wolves, the Thompson family, everyone, and I couldn’t believe how monstrous the reason for it was.
It’s been two months since the murder of Idina. There wasn’t much for me to do to help myself anymore, so here I am, returning to the very place where it all started.
I stepped out of my rental car and onto the grass of my Swedish farm. The grass was hidden underneath a thin blanket of snow. I wasn’t sure when it was exactly, but I knew it was a little past Christmas. This didn’t make me feel any happier, as I thought it would. I stood on the property and stared at my past. I glanced over to my left and saw the bright red barn…well what was left of it. Half of it was smashed and destroyed, the other half still remained standing, but it seemed it could collapse at any moment. My jaw clenched and my nostrils flared, remembering that was the place the wolves first attacked me and killed my…my so-called uncle. My eyes found the place in the middle of the debris where there was a cleared space; supposedly where I was found under the building. I resisted the urge of screaming and throwing anything I could find at the place.
I calmed my speeding heart and looked away to the house. I hesitated before I walked to the front door. I slid my hand into my pocket and pulled out the key; which I’ve held for around twenty years. The inside of the house was vaguely recognizable. I knew my way around the area, but I hardly remembered it. No memories flitted in my mind; it was just an old house. I walked slowly up the creaky stairs to my old bedroom. Most of the furniture had been sold; so the only thing left in my room was a mirror and a small wooden table. I walked to the mirror; noticing some scribbled markings on it. I caught a glimpse of my jaw and my old vampire bite. I frowned and placed my fingers over it.
My thoughts ran wild and out of control. Memories, memories best forgotten returned, and they seemed to hit me in the face, because I found it painful. I remembered Felix, and the pain he caused me when he bit me(both mentally and physically). I thought of Forks and my first real school. I remembered a foggy day, and I was leaving the school to find Bella Swan in the parking lot. Then his name popped into my mind, remembering it was the first time he tried to kill me, he chased me threw a forest, and I got lost. His name rang in my mind, and it wouldn’t leave. Jacob Black. When I was a girl, when I left Forks, I would have done anything to return to see him. Now I believed there was no point. Over the years I began to believe there was no such thing as love. And there was no reason to see him again, and by now, I’m sure the time has changed his mind about me as I did about him. I was but a mere girl, a stupid, troubled teenager who had no clue how blind she really was to the bigger picture. I know I promised to go back, but the time has no doubt changed me immensely. He wouldn’t know who I was anymore; I’d just be a waste of his time. He was practically nothing to me now.
I focused on the figure in the mirror, as the thoughts raced around my mind; I clenched my jaw and let out a short yell before I threw my fist at the reflection. The mirror shattered and all the pieces fell to the ground; blood began to gush out of my hand, dragging the thoughts out of my mind as well. I took my wounded hand into my other and felt the cuts sew back together.
Over the years I’ve had the time to figure out this peculiar healing ability I have, I’ve learned how to control it and how to make it stronger (both ways, to heal and to cause pain). At first this new ability was foreign to me, I never felt human. Now it is as important to me and my vision, almost my sixth sense.
Afterward I flexed my fingers and headed to the bathroom to wash up.
* * *
I got dressed again in a fresh pair of cloths I brought with me. I wondered for a long time what I should do. I knew it wouldn’t be safe for me to stay too long. In a way I didn’t mind just staying here, waiting for either the wolves to find me or Abby. I couldn’t care less. As I thought of what might have happened if one of my enemies found me here, I began to think of Jacob Black again. I wondered if he would be one of those wolves now…looking to kill me. I placed my hand on my neck and began to rub. I hadn’t realized how lonely I was until now. I sighed left the house.
I sprinted as fast as I could. I jumped over the old fence, used to keep the horses, and continued to run through the field. The grass had grown very long, and was probably as tall as my waist if it wasn’t weighed down by the snow. The air was crisp against my face as I ran, so I tried a poor attempt of lowering my face to avoid the wind, but I only managed to lose my balance and stumble over a large branch. I yelped when I hit the hard ground. “You shouldn’t be out here without a coat” a gorgeous voice told me, I leaped to my feet, getting ready to defend myself. I wasn’t expecting this visitor, so for a moment I just stared. “My you’ve grown, but you’ve hardly changed!” Alice cooed, “You look like corpse though, you must be cold. Go inside!” she continued, almost as if there had never been any trouble over the years. “Alice, why are you here…” I paused for a moment, “If you’re here to kill me…just get it over with.”
“Come inside, I have a surprise for you!”
“I don’t like surprises” I muttered, remembering the last surprise I had…but before I could think any more, I was swept off my feet and then I was set down in the living room of the house on the only couch. Alice stood in front of me. “What do you want” I hissed coldly, she frowned, she wasn’t used to this tone in my voice, I could tell. “I brought you an invitation” she smiled, I glowered.
“An invitation…I would have expected you to have sent Bella”
“We don’t believe Bella is ready to be alone with-”
“A human” I ended her sentence, she nodded, “I thought you’d know by now that I can handle anything, one vampire is no trouble” I continued, glaring into her eyes.
“Well I’m sorry” she said with a short sigh, “Like I was saying. I come with an invitation for you” she repeated, pausing to smile, “your sister is getting married tomorrow, and she would love it if you showed up” Alice smiled widely, she seemed ready to squeal. My jaw flexed and I felt my heart flutter with anger.
“So that witch didn’t have the nerve to come and kill me herself?” I shouted, “Tell Abigail…” I began but Alice cut in. “There will be no fighting, Abigail…the entire family has agreed to control themselves for one night, Aelphaba misses you dearly, she would be so grateful if you came!” I could tell she was telling the truth, but I didn’t budge.
“I thought I missed her wedding” I sighed, rubbing my forehead.
“She wanted you to be there so she postponed it”
“Eight years is an awfully long time to postpone a wedding…” I murmured, thinking of the ancient castle.
“They have eternity together. And they would have sent someone to find you sooner but…”
“They were hoping I’d be dead by now?” I wondered with a smirk on my face.
“Natasha, you disappeared for six years! Not even the Volturi could find you! You have no idea how relieved some of us are….! Please, please just come, you won’t regret it” She pleaded, I looked to the floor. “Alice…I can’t…you have no idea what these people have done to me…” I shook my head slowly.
“She’s your sister, for Christ’s sake!”
“God damn it Alice! She isn’t my god damn sister!” I shouted furiously, she groaned and rolled her eyes.
“I know that!” She shouted back, but without any anger. My rage built up even more, I was ready to show her the door, and just…just…
“Natasha, please…There’s someone there to see you…I wasn’t supposed to tell you, it was supposed to be another surprise…but if it’s the only way to get you to go…” Alice’s voice seemed to get even more cheery. I sighed miserably…an other surprise. I have expected it to be Bella.
“Alice, nothing will make me go” I breathed, her smile widened, if that was possible.
“Bella had a little visit with an old friend a couple days ago; she is very disappointed in you Natasha for not visiting him yourself! I must say, I’m very surprised as well! So we brought the idea of inviting a special guest to Fabala’s wedding, she thought it was a wonderful idea!” She closed her mouth, and it seemed as if she could hold in the name any longer. But I knew who it was, and I was not happy, I was everything but happy.
“Jacob is in Volterra?” I asked, almost gagging. Alice nodded, with a huge grin. She seemed to expect some more enthusiasm. “Get out” I whispered, desperately holding back my anger.
“Excuse me?” she asked, I looked away then exploded.
“Get out!” I yelled loudly, rage pulsing through my body like magma traveling down a volcano. She expected this reaction. And before she left she murmured, “Just think about it, your plane ticket is in your car, you leave in three hours.”
Then she was gone and I let my head fall into my hands. I wondered what the right choice would be. The last time he was in Volterra, he almost died. Would the same thing happen now? Alice did say that the fighting was put off for a while, maybe nothing would happen? Maybe I didn’t have to go? I certainly didn’t want to go. But I knew Abigail wasn’t the type to keep her promises…and I certainly didn’t want him to die either, considering he was one of the only…only people who wanted to see me. I mean, why else would he go all the way to Italy? My heart sank when I realized he might be alone. Then before I knew it, my mind was made.
* * *
I decided that I was only going to pop in to see how it was going; I was not going to draw any attention. I was only going to stay to make sure Jacob left unharmed. I vowed not to let him see me. It’s been nine years since I last saw him; I remember even now how I felt when I left. Nine years is too long, at least for me. I knew things would get awkward if he saw me. Besides, he was better off without me.