hello..my name is Jen. and im a bitch.
stressful week...to say the least.
worked way over what i was scheduled and got nothing accomplished i had scheduled...
anyway. been enjoying my solitude. or at least making the best of it. id like to think that in some sick fucked up world i asked for this. maybe its payback for the shit ive done and its coming full circle. perhaps things are catching up to me? whatever the reason is, im realizing a lot of shit. mostly stuff i knew deep down, but thought it would never happen to me. underestimated the situation and didnt think it through. i should just be nice and act like this shit is alright...but fuck lying and fuck being walked all over. im standing up for all this shit and if people want to keep it up, more power to them. trust me, i dont mind being excluded from all the needless pathetic drama. i came to the conclusion a long time ago, like way back, that people need drama in order to function day to day. im not one of those people. i keep my business to myself and especially keep my nose out of others people shit (literally too!) why most people feel the urge to butt into my personal life and why others feel the need to display my issues to everyone else is beyond me. something to be said about those people is that they have no business or life of their own and live vicariously through others' lives. they want to be catalysts to cause problems and see what they can do to other people. some like to make people feel shitty so they can feel better about themselves. its like they have won the battle or something. i just dont get it. let things be how they are. if it doesnt involve you...leave it that way.
hindsight is 20/20 and is incessantly beating me over the head right now. i should have listened to my conscious (thanks ry!) and maybe things wouldnt be this effed up. but alas, here i am and i cant change things. i cant control what people do, nor should i let it affect me. its just a shitty situation with no shitty solutions.
the only upside of this is the wonderful fact that in less than a year from now...none of this will matter. no one will care who said what or who did what. this shit wont matter then so why should it matter now? soon i will graduate and move on. i was hoping that when i came to college it wouldnt end this way. but i guess it was only wishful thinking. maybe the real world will be better, or at least more mature.
worked way over what i was scheduled and got nothing accomplished i had scheduled...
anyway. been enjoying my solitude. or at least making the best of it. id like to think that in some sick fucked up world i asked for this. maybe its payback for the shit ive done and its coming full circle. perhaps things are catching up to me? whatever the reason is, im realizing a lot of shit. mostly stuff i knew deep down, but thought it would never happen to me. underestimated the situation and didnt think it through. i should just be nice and act like this shit is alright...but fuck lying and fuck being walked all over. im standing up for all this shit and if people want to keep it up, more power to them. trust me, i dont mind being excluded from all the needless pathetic drama. i came to the conclusion a long time ago, like way back, that people need drama in order to function day to day. im not one of those people. i keep my business to myself and especially keep my nose out of others people shit (literally too!) why most people feel the urge to butt into my personal life and why others feel the need to display my issues to everyone else is beyond me. something to be said about those people is that they have no business or life of their own and live vicariously through others' lives. they want to be catalysts to cause problems and see what they can do to other people. some like to make people feel shitty so they can feel better about themselves. its like they have won the battle or something. i just dont get it. let things be how they are. if it doesnt involve you...leave it that way.
hindsight is 20/20 and is incessantly beating me over the head right now. i should have listened to my conscious (thanks ry!) and maybe things wouldnt be this effed up. but alas, here i am and i cant change things. i cant control what people do, nor should i let it affect me. its just a shitty situation with no shitty solutions.
the only upside of this is the wonderful fact that in less than a year from now...none of this will matter. no one will care who said what or who did what. this shit wont matter then so why should it matter now? soon i will graduate and move on. i was hoping that when i came to college it wouldnt end this way. but i guess it was only wishful thinking. maybe the real world will be better, or at least more mature.