Challenging trying to parent a toddler
I've mentioned before that Tyler doesn't play on his own. He's my very own little shadow. Sometimes that has us butting heads, especially since not only is he right there with me all the time, but he's getting into stuff constantly. I'll tell him not to touch something, he ignores me. If I use a firm voice, or if I get on his level and try to be firm, he cries. He is so stubborn and knows exactly what he wants. If I'm not focused on him he seems to have a lot of crying temper tantrums. It is hard. I try to play with him, but sometimes I need to clean up the kitchen, or prepare a meal, or even just sit down for a minute.
The other extreme is Tyler's cousin. Silas is my brother's youngest. Silas just turned 2, he's 3 and a half months older than Tyler. He doesn't cuddle, he doesn't want anyone to play with him, and he bites people hard without warning or provocation. He won't let anyone hold him. He watches TV constantly, but he also plays on his own.
My mom asked me tonight if I'd rather have a son with Ty's or Silas' behaviour. I told her hands down I would pick Tyler. Yes, being the center of his little universe is exhausting. There are days when we just rub each other the wrong way for whatever reason and we both get frustrated and angry. BUT, Tyler cuddles, and is so sweet, and is loving. He is funny and charming and just loves to interact with everyone. If there are other people around he doesn't focus so single mindedly on me, he loves attention. Did I mention how he loves to cuddle? He is so affectionate, and it has really started to come out in the past few months. I still breastfeed him every time I put him to bed. When I sit on the glider he just wraps his arms around my neck and snuggles right into my shoulder for a nice long hug. He does it all the time too.
********************* So I guess you could say we had a rough evening here. The morning went well except for a completely baffling crying jag Tyler went on for 10 minutes. I couldn't figure out what was wrong and he wouldn't let me near him to comfort him. He just cried and cried. I think he was tired. Other than that we had a good morning. Then after his nap we ran a couple errands.
We were home around 4 and that gave us just a few hours until bed time. I wanted to make dinner, Tyler wanted me to play. In hindsight I should have just said screw it to the chicken and potatoes I was making for him and just made something quick like eggs or a grilled cheese. As it turns out he wasn't interested in eating his dinner, he's been off of "dinner foods" for a few months now. But no, I went ahead and messed with dinner and Tyler and I had a rough time because he was climbing and into everything. Then when I would tell him no he'd scream and cry at me. I just wanted a moment of peace without him clinging to me or screaming and crying. It gets so frustrating, especially when I know there is no one at all who can help me. The grandparents are far away, Hubby is even further. Not a single one of my RL friends has any clue how hard this is.
Even though he wouldn't eat he sat in his booster seat for around 20 minutes or so, chattering away to himself and ignoring his dinner. I ate, cooled down a bit. He was trying hard to get me to chatter with him, but I was still trying to get over earlier. I ended up giving him a yogurt, half a pair, and a cheese stick, all of which he gobbled up. Seriously, I'm done cooking until Chris comes home.
Then my mom called and Tyler and I chatted with her for about 45 minutes. By this time Tyler was done eating and he wasn't doing too bad on his own while I chatted and cleaned up a bit. My mom and I were talking about kids and TV. Tyler hasn't shown any interest in TV in general. He use to show a passing interest in Yo Gabba Gabba. By that I mean he'd sit still for about half of a 20 minute episode. In November I put a couple episodes on my iPhone for our flight to Texass. It worked out pretty well. He still won't watch anything on the actual TV. While I was in Texass in January he'd wake up a bit early so after nursing in my room, a couple of mornings I gave him my phone to watch a YGG, that also worked when I'd go to the bathroom in the mornings and I'd take him so he wouldn't disturb anyone else. It worked well. He even sat a couple times to watch a show on my computer.
In the (almost) week since then he has wanted my phone a couple of times to watch a YGG, but I don't think I want him to be really interested in TV. I look at all of his cousins, on both sides of the family, and they are always watching TV. It is on constantly at my brother's house, even when they have visitors, and I can't say for certain about Chris' sister's house (although I suspect it is the same thing), but when Chris' niece is at MIL's place the TV is on constantly. She's even refused to talk to Chris on SKYPE because she was watching TV.
I can see the attraction of letting your kid sit in front of the TV. It would give me so much time to do housework or even take a few minutes to relax. It is peaceful. If Tyler had ever shown a real interest in watching TV I'm sure he'd be watching it sometimes. Maybe what I need to do is just pick and choose. Like if I want to fix dinner, that would be a good time to let Tyler watch Yo Gabba Gabba on my computer. If we're out and about and waiting for something, then let him watch one on my phone.
Chris is surprisingly on the same page with me re limiting TV and video games. "Surprisingly" because he was the kid who was always in front of the TV growing up. He still has a hard time walking into our living room and not turning the TV on. I admit, it has been peaceful having it off most of the day during the deployment. I really only put it on when Ty is sleeping to watch one of my shows either OnDemand or from the DVR. I wonder what it will be like when Hubby is home?
The other extreme is Tyler's cousin. Silas is my brother's youngest. Silas just turned 2, he's 3 and a half months older than Tyler. He doesn't cuddle, he doesn't want anyone to play with him, and he bites people hard without warning or provocation. He won't let anyone hold him. He watches TV constantly, but he also plays on his own.
My mom asked me tonight if I'd rather have a son with Ty's or Silas' behaviour. I told her hands down I would pick Tyler. Yes, being the center of his little universe is exhausting. There are days when we just rub each other the wrong way for whatever reason and we both get frustrated and angry. BUT, Tyler cuddles, and is so sweet, and is loving. He is funny and charming and just loves to interact with everyone. If there are other people around he doesn't focus so single mindedly on me, he loves attention. Did I mention how he loves to cuddle? He is so affectionate, and it has really started to come out in the past few months. I still breastfeed him every time I put him to bed. When I sit on the glider he just wraps his arms around my neck and snuggles right into my shoulder for a nice long hug. He does it all the time too.
********************* So I guess you could say we had a rough evening here. The morning went well except for a completely baffling crying jag Tyler went on for 10 minutes. I couldn't figure out what was wrong and he wouldn't let me near him to comfort him. He just cried and cried. I think he was tired. Other than that we had a good morning. Then after his nap we ran a couple errands.
We were home around 4 and that gave us just a few hours until bed time. I wanted to make dinner, Tyler wanted me to play. In hindsight I should have just said screw it to the chicken and potatoes I was making for him and just made something quick like eggs or a grilled cheese. As it turns out he wasn't interested in eating his dinner, he's been off of "dinner foods" for a few months now. But no, I went ahead and messed with dinner and Tyler and I had a rough time because he was climbing and into everything. Then when I would tell him no he'd scream and cry at me. I just wanted a moment of peace without him clinging to me or screaming and crying. It gets so frustrating, especially when I know there is no one at all who can help me. The grandparents are far away, Hubby is even further. Not a single one of my RL friends has any clue how hard this is.
Even though he wouldn't eat he sat in his booster seat for around 20 minutes or so, chattering away to himself and ignoring his dinner. I ate, cooled down a bit. He was trying hard to get me to chatter with him, but I was still trying to get over earlier. I ended up giving him a yogurt, half a pair, and a cheese stick, all of which he gobbled up. Seriously, I'm done cooking until Chris comes home.
Then my mom called and Tyler and I chatted with her for about 45 minutes. By this time Tyler was done eating and he wasn't doing too bad on his own while I chatted and cleaned up a bit. My mom and I were talking about kids and TV. Tyler hasn't shown any interest in TV in general. He use to show a passing interest in Yo Gabba Gabba. By that I mean he'd sit still for about half of a 20 minute episode. In November I put a couple episodes on my iPhone for our flight to Texass. It worked out pretty well. He still won't watch anything on the actual TV. While I was in Texass in January he'd wake up a bit early so after nursing in my room, a couple of mornings I gave him my phone to watch a YGG, that also worked when I'd go to the bathroom in the mornings and I'd take him so he wouldn't disturb anyone else. It worked well. He even sat a couple times to watch a show on my computer.
In the (almost) week since then he has wanted my phone a couple of times to watch a YGG, but I don't think I want him to be really interested in TV. I look at all of his cousins, on both sides of the family, and they are always watching TV. It is on constantly at my brother's house, even when they have visitors, and I can't say for certain about Chris' sister's house (although I suspect it is the same thing), but when Chris' niece is at MIL's place the TV is on constantly. She's even refused to talk to Chris on SKYPE because she was watching TV.
I can see the attraction of letting your kid sit in front of the TV. It would give me so much time to do housework or even take a few minutes to relax. It is peaceful. If Tyler had ever shown a real interest in watching TV I'm sure he'd be watching it sometimes. Maybe what I need to do is just pick and choose. Like if I want to fix dinner, that would be a good time to let Tyler watch Yo Gabba Gabba on my computer. If we're out and about and waiting for something, then let him watch one on my phone.
Chris is surprisingly on the same page with me re limiting TV and video games. "Surprisingly" because he was the kid who was always in front of the TV growing up. He still has a hard time walking into our living room and not turning the TV on. I admit, it has been peaceful having it off most of the day during the deployment. I really only put it on when Ty is sleeping to watch one of my shows either OnDemand or from the DVR. I wonder what it will be like when Hubby is home?