(no subject)

[canada_dry_13]

Friday is the 1st of July. it seems like this summer time is going so fast. school is getting closer and closer and i just keep getting more and more scared. its not that i dont want to go to school, its just that i really dont want to leave ryan. and i know he says that we will still be best friends and i know we will still talk all the time but i dont want to lose this. im not scared to lose his friendship because i wont let that happen. what is going to happen when he finds someone else, or worse, when he gets back into extracirricular activites that i dont really agree with?? those are the worst things i can think of. and i dont know what i am going to do without him around all the time. who will watch crazy movies with me? who will lay with me when i am sick?? who will talk to me when i think there are cult members in my house and snakes in my room? who will go to fancy resturaunts with me where music comes out of the plates? who will paint awesome signs with me?? no one. there will be no one who will do all that with me. there will be no one who makes me feel like he does.

i guess until the time comes when i leave all i can do is spend as much time with him as i can.

im going to be lost without him.