It works for Homer Simpson.
Hey brain, we need to have a talk. You need to start cooperating a little more with me or neither of us is going anywhere. Namely, if it's a lazy afternoon and I have nothing to do, we're going to do homework this year. That's right. Homework. Now, if I say, "Hey brain, this is dull, how about we get some work done so I'm not scrambling tonight", I expect a better answer than, "Relax, you've got plenty of time. I think the Red Sox are on; let's watch that." I'm tired of your weak excuses, Brain. I'm beginning to wonder if you're even as useful as you think and thereby make me think you are. You can't even put on a fucking book cover. Whose brain isn't even able to put on a book cover? Those freshmen's brains were all capable of getting a book cover on, and you think they're dumb. What does that make you, huh? And if only your procrastinating and your inability to do simple tasks were the extent of your uselessness. What about talking huh? You know big words, but then you can't go and talk in front of people. You never manage to say what I mean to say. Why do you think you didn't get hired at Box Seats? Why do you not know the names of a single person in your Precalc or Spanish classes? Why are you the last person to do your presentation in Spanish class? You suck for school, you suck for social settings; basically, every useful thing a brain is supposed to do for its owner, you suck at. It sounds harsh but it's true. You better get going or I'm going to start watching MTV and listening to rap music and maybe even go join the Republican party. You wouldn't like that much, would you?