Give Me Something....
So I have been having trouble writing this time around, I think the situation was due to me being timid. Lately, I have been using the term "situation" rather than "problems" because I am trying to be positive; positive in every manner of the word, just trying to be a positive being/spirit in the universe and just having a positive outlook on everything. Plus, it doesn't help that one of my new phrases is "There are no problems in life, just situations," and it's true, when something doesnt go as planned they become situations, but when the individual can't find an alternate route or answer they turn into a problem. So when I am faced with the curveball that life throws at me I just turn it into a situation, at least lately, and so far I have I am batting .500, because sometimes those situations go my way and other times they go against me. There has been a lot of interesting experiences in my life, more importantly through this so-called summer. I have finally decided to the call this summer one of the coolest summers I have experienced, and I do not mean popularity phrase for cool, I mean temperature. The temperature has been low, not one triple digit day, overcast mornings, but this has probably been the most overcast summer days this time around then any other summers I have experienced. I wonder if it's a sign, especially from her?
Going back to the reason why I have been timid, and worried about something on here as an entry. Unfortunately, the reason for me not writing on here is due to me being still in love with someone. I have been trying to continue to burn both ends of the candle for me, and the sad thing about it is I am doing a good job of it. Working the slave hours that I do now is absurd, being underpaid is the worst feeling in the world. The very long hours that I put at the airport have been insane, so I have no choice but to go out when I can and just try to enjoy life, putting myself in so many situations so I know how to adapt in every situation possible. I have been placing myself in situations: good, bad and indifferent. Situations where I already knew the answers (more so the outcome), some where I knew I shouldn't have done that. But thats what life is supposed to be about.
Yes I am still in love with someone whom is in a relationship with another. I have tried very hard to move on, boy it isn't easy, but I am not forcing it to happen either. There has been way to many signs that I cannot ignore when they appear or occur on path through life without her. The most absurd timing that one of the signs that I got from the universe occured when I was seeing someone for their birthday. I had never been to her place before, but when I was sitting on her chair, there was a book on the table and it happened "coincidentally" to be the same book I had given to the person that I still care about the last christmas we spent together with a ring placed inside the flap of the cover. Guess which book it was.............. Oh! The Places You’ll Go!.............................. Really?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!? I hadn't come across this book since then. All I did was just show a smirk of "you got to be kidding me" that was caught by the birthday girl. She asked me what was with the smirk, all I could say was "This book just happened to have impeccable timing to cross my path in life," she looked at me crazy. I allowed the book to be in the back of mind the whole evening. I was with a very beautiful girl for the evening on her birthday, we went out, saw a lousy comedy show at a comedy club, went for drinks at a bar, then went to a club. By the end of the night, when back to her place, I had an opportunity to make love with her, but I couldn't because I was/am still in love with someone else. Guess that book showed up at the right time and at the right place. I don't regret my decisions. The morning after the evening with Red (that will be her name for the time being), after waking up on her couch with no one else other than me, I said my goodbye to her, got outside and it was overcast, the clouds looked upset, and then it began to drizzle; I laughed and said to myself: "you have got to be kidding me. Really." First the Book and now this. But the worst sign I received from the universe about this person was when I had a dream about this person for the first time in a long time. But the dream was weird, we both at a function, we were at different sides of the rooms and we both locked eyes and she was giving me a look of disappointment, placed her head down and walked away. I woke up thinking that was one of the worst feeling ever and it all occured in a dream.
I am also been looking at the opportunity of moving out of Los Angeles, and moving to a completely different city, for school and work. I have decided to move, to a place where I will be away from my friends and family. I just don't know if it's the right decision, it feels right, it feels as if I need this for me. But I am doing this without someone, that worries me a lot more than I would like it to. I wish I can talk to this person about all thats going on. I would like to hear her thoughts and opinions on such a situation. Lately I just miss my best friend, and I am wishing and hoping that serendipity can still play a part in my life later on with her:
I carved your name
In an old, old tree,
But the council chopped it down
Because it was filled with disease.
And I sent you a thousand messages,
But not a single one got through...
Please,
Give me something;
Something to hold on to.
Give me something,
That links me to you.
Give me something;
Something to hold on to,
And I'll wear your wedding ring for a lifetime.
I've seen a place
Where your fingers lock with mine.
But the view it disappeared,
As my alarm clock hit the time.
And I've made a million wishes now,
But not a single one's come true...
Please,
Give me something;
Something to hold on to.
Give me something,
That links me to you.
Give me something;
Something to hold on to,
And I'll wear your wedding ring for a lifetime.
Please,
Give me something;
Something to hold on to.
Give me something,
That links me to you.
Give me something;
Something to hold on to.
Give me something,
That links me to you.
Give me something...
Give me something...
Give me something...
Give me something...
Going back to the reason why I have been timid, and worried about something on here as an entry. Unfortunately, the reason for me not writing on here is due to me being still in love with someone. I have been trying to continue to burn both ends of the candle for me, and the sad thing about it is I am doing a good job of it. Working the slave hours that I do now is absurd, being underpaid is the worst feeling in the world. The very long hours that I put at the airport have been insane, so I have no choice but to go out when I can and just try to enjoy life, putting myself in so many situations so I know how to adapt in every situation possible. I have been placing myself in situations: good, bad and indifferent. Situations where I already knew the answers (more so the outcome), some where I knew I shouldn't have done that. But thats what life is supposed to be about.
Yes I am still in love with someone whom is in a relationship with another. I have tried very hard to move on, boy it isn't easy, but I am not forcing it to happen either. There has been way to many signs that I cannot ignore when they appear or occur on path through life without her. The most absurd timing that one of the signs that I got from the universe occured when I was seeing someone for their birthday. I had never been to her place before, but when I was sitting on her chair, there was a book on the table and it happened "coincidentally" to be the same book I had given to the person that I still care about the last christmas we spent together with a ring placed inside the flap of the cover. Guess which book it was.............. Oh! The Places You’ll Go!.............................. Really?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!? I hadn't come across this book since then. All I did was just show a smirk of "you got to be kidding me" that was caught by the birthday girl. She asked me what was with the smirk, all I could say was "This book just happened to have impeccable timing to cross my path in life," she looked at me crazy. I allowed the book to be in the back of mind the whole evening. I was with a very beautiful girl for the evening on her birthday, we went out, saw a lousy comedy show at a comedy club, went for drinks at a bar, then went to a club. By the end of the night, when back to her place, I had an opportunity to make love with her, but I couldn't because I was/am still in love with someone else. Guess that book showed up at the right time and at the right place. I don't regret my decisions. The morning after the evening with Red (that will be her name for the time being), after waking up on her couch with no one else other than me, I said my goodbye to her, got outside and it was overcast, the clouds looked upset, and then it began to drizzle; I laughed and said to myself: "you have got to be kidding me. Really." First the Book and now this. But the worst sign I received from the universe about this person was when I had a dream about this person for the first time in a long time. But the dream was weird, we both at a function, we were at different sides of the rooms and we both locked eyes and she was giving me a look of disappointment, placed her head down and walked away. I woke up thinking that was one of the worst feeling ever and it all occured in a dream.
I am also been looking at the opportunity of moving out of Los Angeles, and moving to a completely different city, for school and work. I have decided to move, to a place where I will be away from my friends and family. I just don't know if it's the right decision, it feels right, it feels as if I need this for me. But I am doing this without someone, that worries me a lot more than I would like it to. I wish I can talk to this person about all thats going on. I would like to hear her thoughts and opinions on such a situation. Lately I just miss my best friend, and I am wishing and hoping that serendipity can still play a part in my life later on with her:
I carved your name
In an old, old tree,
But the council chopped it down
Because it was filled with disease.
And I sent you a thousand messages,
But not a single one got through...
Please,
Give me something;
Something to hold on to.
Give me something,
That links me to you.
Give me something;
Something to hold on to,
And I'll wear your wedding ring for a lifetime.
I've seen a place
Where your fingers lock with mine.
But the view it disappeared,
As my alarm clock hit the time.
And I've made a million wishes now,
But not a single one's come true...
Please,
Give me something;
Something to hold on to.
Give me something,
That links me to you.
Give me something;
Something to hold on to,
And I'll wear your wedding ring for a lifetime.
Please,
Give me something;
Something to hold on to.
Give me something,
That links me to you.
Give me something;
Something to hold on to.
Give me something,
That links me to you.
Give me something...
Give me something...
Give me something...
Give me something...