Peacekeeper Marauder, Friday FH time
Aeryn wakes up abruptly, so the first thing she notices is that her hands are bound together in front of her. She's sitting in a seat rather than laying on the floor somewhere, and looks at her wrists, hating that she's worn these kinds of bindings before for pretty much this same reason. She looks around, recognizing the Peacekeeper Marauder from the inside, and when she glances out the window, it's pretty clear she's not on Earth anymore. Really, she can't imagine how any of this would feel familiar to her.
"You're awake," says Xhalax from the pilot's seat. The Colartas are sitting, too, but Aeryn doesn't pay as much attention to them.
"How long was I out?" Aeryn asks, just noticing that her head kind of hurts. She'll deal with the headache. She really is used to those.
"A couple of arns," Xhalax replies. "We'll be there soon enough."
"And then you turn me in to the Peacekeepers so they can kill me," Aeryn says dully.
There's the very briefest of pauses before Xhalax says, "Those are my orders."
"You would send your own daughter to her death because you were ordered?"
"Yes."
Aeryn smiles. It isn't a happy smile. "Then you're a better Peacekeeper than I am."
The pause is longer this time, and Aeryn figures she's not getting a reply. She busies herself by keeping the rest of her body still while trying to squeeze her hand through the bindings.
"You did it to yourself," Xhalax finally says, just after dismissing both Colartas to the aft area.
Aeryn stares at her in disbelief. "Yes, how dare I disobey an order to kill innocent people- children- because I thought it was wrong."
"There is no right, there is no wrong, there are only the orders you were given."
Aeryn doesn't know a lot about parenting on Earth, but she's pretty sure they don't usually give that lesson. "I would have thought you would have been proud of me."
For the first time, Xhalax looks back at her. "Proud?" The look on her face says that she's not.
"I always thought you were very brave, coming to see me the way you did," Aeryn goes on. Xhalax's visit to her as a child hadn't been standard. It had been a sort of rebellion.
Xhalax almost smiles, but it's not the kind Aeryn wants to see. "I suppose this is where you try to play to sympathies I don't have so I'll let you go?"
"You came to see me," Aeryn says. "I remember it. Vividly."
"If there's one thing I regret, it's that."
That's the biggest slap she could have ever delivered. '"Thanks, Mother," Aeryn mutters.
"Don't call me that."
"I didn't have to do much to earn your contempt, did I?"
Xhalax turns to her and says coolly, "They knew I went to see you that night. They gave me a choice. The fact that you're here shows me what a waste that was."
She doesn't know why she's asking. She's just torturing herself. She can't not ask, though. She wants answers, and if she's being taken to her death, she doesn't have another shot at it. "A choice."
"Shut up. I'm tired of listening to you."
Aeryn doesn't take well to being shut down, being ignored. "No," she snaps. "Tell me, did you ever think of me in all these cycles? Or is it so easy to let me die?"
"What happens to you is none of my business," Xhalax replies.
"I'm seventeen now," Aeryn says after a pause. "Closer to eighteen, actually, but I was given a birthday and I'm not about to correct them. I'm a fairly good student, excepting Biology. I taught myself to read and write so I could manage-"
"What makes you think I care?"
"Because you're my mother."
Xhalax mutters something that sounds like "Waste of time."
Aeryn continues regardless, because... She has no idea. She wants to make a connection, or find the sympathy Xhalax has to have because Aeryn does and she had to get it from somewhere because the Peacekeepers had nothing to do with that. "I have friends there. I have a boyfriend," she says, and given certain Peacekeeper prejudices knows that might go over badly. She's not sure what sense she's trying to appeal to. "We've been together for over a cycle now. We're going to leave school together at the end of the year." She doesn't say where they're going. "He's the reason I went back to Earth."
"And look where that's gotten you." It's not said without some bitterness.
Aeryn could scream, or cry, or put her own head through the wall. She could give up talking, write Xhalax off, and hope she can find a means of escape once she's aboard the command carrier. More people with better weapons there, but she's escaped from one before.
But this is her mother, and she can't forget that.
"I know you understand love," she tries. "You introduced me to the concept."
"Don't tell me you got all sentimental," Xhalax sneers. "No wonder they didn't bother finding another use for you."
"Yes, because principles and conscience-"
"Make you a bad Peacekeeper."
"I did what I felt was right. I made a hard decision, and I would do it again in a microt."
"Throwing away your entire life based on some misplaced idea of love?"
"I left for me. I went back for him," Aeryn clarifies. "And you can't talk. You know nothing about me."
"I know I should have chosen your father."
It's one of those outbursts that Aeryn couldn't have expected, and she finds she's feeling colder than she did a moment ago. "What do you mean?"
Xhalax doesn't flinch. In fact, she's looking right at Aeryn when she says, "I was given a choice. You or Talyn. I chose to let you live."
Aeryn takes that in, and on some level, she knows something about what must have happened. She knows how the Peacekeepers work. She still hadn't thought it applied to her. "What happened to him?" she asks quietly.
"I killed him as my first assignment." It's plain, it's simple, and Aeryn knows right then she never had a chance for Xhalax to feel anything but contempt for her.
When she can find her voice again, she says, "You could do it, then. Kill me. You want to, do it."
"It's not my assignment."
For a long time, Aeryn goes quiet.
[NFB due to distance. Also, spoilers for the Farscape ep "Relativity" lie within. New watchers beware. Or something.]
"You're awake," says Xhalax from the pilot's seat. The Colartas are sitting, too, but Aeryn doesn't pay as much attention to them.
"How long was I out?" Aeryn asks, just noticing that her head kind of hurts. She'll deal with the headache. She really is used to those.
"A couple of arns," Xhalax replies. "We'll be there soon enough."
"And then you turn me in to the Peacekeepers so they can kill me," Aeryn says dully.
There's the very briefest of pauses before Xhalax says, "Those are my orders."
"You would send your own daughter to her death because you were ordered?"
"Yes."
Aeryn smiles. It isn't a happy smile. "Then you're a better Peacekeeper than I am."
The pause is longer this time, and Aeryn figures she's not getting a reply. She busies herself by keeping the rest of her body still while trying to squeeze her hand through the bindings.
"You did it to yourself," Xhalax finally says, just after dismissing both Colartas to the aft area.
Aeryn stares at her in disbelief. "Yes, how dare I disobey an order to kill innocent people- children- because I thought it was wrong."
"There is no right, there is no wrong, there are only the orders you were given."
Aeryn doesn't know a lot about parenting on Earth, but she's pretty sure they don't usually give that lesson. "I would have thought you would have been proud of me."
For the first time, Xhalax looks back at her. "Proud?" The look on her face says that she's not.
"I always thought you were very brave, coming to see me the way you did," Aeryn goes on. Xhalax's visit to her as a child hadn't been standard. It had been a sort of rebellion.
Xhalax almost smiles, but it's not the kind Aeryn wants to see. "I suppose this is where you try to play to sympathies I don't have so I'll let you go?"
"You came to see me," Aeryn says. "I remember it. Vividly."
"If there's one thing I regret, it's that."
That's the biggest slap she could have ever delivered. '"Thanks, Mother," Aeryn mutters.
"Don't call me that."
"I didn't have to do much to earn your contempt, did I?"
Xhalax turns to her and says coolly, "They knew I went to see you that night. They gave me a choice. The fact that you're here shows me what a waste that was."
She doesn't know why she's asking. She's just torturing herself. She can't not ask, though. She wants answers, and if she's being taken to her death, she doesn't have another shot at it. "A choice."
"Shut up. I'm tired of listening to you."
Aeryn doesn't take well to being shut down, being ignored. "No," she snaps. "Tell me, did you ever think of me in all these cycles? Or is it so easy to let me die?"
"What happens to you is none of my business," Xhalax replies.
"I'm seventeen now," Aeryn says after a pause. "Closer to eighteen, actually, but I was given a birthday and I'm not about to correct them. I'm a fairly good student, excepting Biology. I taught myself to read and write so I could manage-"
"What makes you think I care?"
"Because you're my mother."
Xhalax mutters something that sounds like "Waste of time."
Aeryn continues regardless, because... She has no idea. She wants to make a connection, or find the sympathy Xhalax has to have because Aeryn does and she had to get it from somewhere because the Peacekeepers had nothing to do with that. "I have friends there. I have a boyfriend," she says, and given certain Peacekeeper prejudices knows that might go over badly. She's not sure what sense she's trying to appeal to. "We've been together for over a cycle now. We're going to leave school together at the end of the year." She doesn't say where they're going. "He's the reason I went back to Earth."
"And look where that's gotten you." It's not said without some bitterness.
Aeryn could scream, or cry, or put her own head through the wall. She could give up talking, write Xhalax off, and hope she can find a means of escape once she's aboard the command carrier. More people with better weapons there, but she's escaped from one before.
But this is her mother, and she can't forget that.
"I know you understand love," she tries. "You introduced me to the concept."
"Don't tell me you got all sentimental," Xhalax sneers. "No wonder they didn't bother finding another use for you."
"Yes, because principles and conscience-"
"Make you a bad Peacekeeper."
"I did what I felt was right. I made a hard decision, and I would do it again in a microt."
"Throwing away your entire life based on some misplaced idea of love?"
"I left for me. I went back for him," Aeryn clarifies. "And you can't talk. You know nothing about me."
"I know I should have chosen your father."
It's one of those outbursts that Aeryn couldn't have expected, and she finds she's feeling colder than she did a moment ago. "What do you mean?"
Xhalax doesn't flinch. In fact, she's looking right at Aeryn when she says, "I was given a choice. You or Talyn. I chose to let you live."
Aeryn takes that in, and on some level, she knows something about what must have happened. She knows how the Peacekeepers work. She still hadn't thought it applied to her. "What happened to him?" she asks quietly.
"I killed him as my first assignment." It's plain, it's simple, and Aeryn knows right then she never had a chance for Xhalax to feel anything but contempt for her.
When she can find her voice again, she says, "You could do it, then. Kill me. You want to, do it."
"It's not my assignment."
For a long time, Aeryn goes quiet.
[NFB due to distance. Also, spoilers for the Farscape ep "Relativity" lie within. New watchers beware. Or something.]