The vows you made me
Title: The vows you made me
Fandom: Stargate SG-1/Atlantis
Main Character/pairing: Cameron Mitchell/John Sheppard
Rating: PG
Notes: Title comes from ‘Nothing’s Changed’ by Chris Isaak
Warnings: Death!fic
Prompt: Love Lost
Cameron Mitchell looked at his partner, a heavy weight in his chest. John was resting on a bed, kept separate from the Infirmary. McKay said he was alive, he still was in there, but he didn’t breathe on his own. His mind might still be in there but his body was in a coma in which he would never awake. Dr. Keller had basically proclaimed him dead, but Rodney wanted to try something, said that it had been caused by some sort of device, that he could figure it out, could bring him back. Cam had agreed, but that had been months ago and McKay wasn’t figuring it out.
Cam put a hand John’s, feeling the cool skin under his palm. John and Atlantis had only been back in the Pegasus Galaxy for a few weeks. They were still trying to figure out the state of affairs after having left the galaxy for so long when John’s team had found an Ancient repository and McKay had to have the information. Although, honestly, the IOA would’ve pushed for it too, so as much as Cameron would like to blame McKay, it wasn’t just him. He couldn’t point fingers at anyone and it seemed stupid to blame someone for the fact John was effectively dead when he had rushed full force into the mission himself.
He wanted to be furious, he wanted to yell at John, he wanted to shake him and ask why John had to throw himself away so damn much, even though John has Cam, John has Atlantis… why couldn’t John just hold back, try to keep himself safe for everyone he loved? Cam knew John couldn’t hold back and he thought he had accepted it, but the more time he thought about it, he knew it had been a lie to himself and to John. Cameron had never wanted to accept the lack of caring that John had for himself, instead throwing his everything into whatever anyone else needed or wanted. But John loved him and he loved John. Cam hoped that maybe if John had him, that maybe John would think before leaping.
Cam guessed nothing changed.
He didn’t know how long he stood there, looking at John, feeling his heart shatter in his chest as he stared at John’s body, knowing that even if his mind was in there, it was barely holding on. Keller had said this might happen, that John might just die and that he was likely already brain dead except for a few lower brain activities. There was no hope for John, and they had to finally admit it, no matter how much it hurt.
Cam blinked back the tears as he watched the monitor that showed John’s vitals go offline, his brain and body finally dying as Cam’s entire world fell apart around him and he wondered if it would hurt to follow him or if he should just hang on.
FIN
Fandom: Stargate SG-1/Atlantis
Main Character/pairing: Cameron Mitchell/John Sheppard
Rating: PG
Notes: Title comes from ‘Nothing’s Changed’ by Chris Isaak
Warnings: Death!fic
Prompt: Love Lost
Cameron Mitchell looked at his partner, a heavy weight in his chest. John was resting on a bed, kept separate from the Infirmary. McKay said he was alive, he still was in there, but he didn’t breathe on his own. His mind might still be in there but his body was in a coma in which he would never awake. Dr. Keller had basically proclaimed him dead, but Rodney wanted to try something, said that it had been caused by some sort of device, that he could figure it out, could bring him back. Cam had agreed, but that had been months ago and McKay wasn’t figuring it out.
Cam put a hand John’s, feeling the cool skin under his palm. John and Atlantis had only been back in the Pegasus Galaxy for a few weeks. They were still trying to figure out the state of affairs after having left the galaxy for so long when John’s team had found an Ancient repository and McKay had to have the information. Although, honestly, the IOA would’ve pushed for it too, so as much as Cameron would like to blame McKay, it wasn’t just him. He couldn’t point fingers at anyone and it seemed stupid to blame someone for the fact John was effectively dead when he had rushed full force into the mission himself.
He wanted to be furious, he wanted to yell at John, he wanted to shake him and ask why John had to throw himself away so damn much, even though John has Cam, John has Atlantis… why couldn’t John just hold back, try to keep himself safe for everyone he loved? Cam knew John couldn’t hold back and he thought he had accepted it, but the more time he thought about it, he knew it had been a lie to himself and to John. Cameron had never wanted to accept the lack of caring that John had for himself, instead throwing his everything into whatever anyone else needed or wanted. But John loved him and he loved John. Cam hoped that maybe if John had him, that maybe John would think before leaping.
Cam guessed nothing changed.
He didn’t know how long he stood there, looking at John, feeling his heart shatter in his chest as he stared at John’s body, knowing that even if his mind was in there, it was barely holding on. Keller had said this might happen, that John might just die and that he was likely already brain dead except for a few lower brain activities. There was no hope for John, and they had to finally admit it, no matter how much it hurt.
Cam blinked back the tears as he watched the monitor that showed John’s vitals go offline, his brain and body finally dying as Cam’s entire world fell apart around him and he wondered if it would hurt to follow him or if he should just hang on.
FIN