(no subject)
... someone tell me I can download emulators and roms on to my PSP without needing a memory stick.
Remember!
- Applicants, respond anonymously.
- If you're going to do the whole "ask me if I voted you out!" thing, please state who you voted out.
- No speculating about the identity of the applicants!
Now VOTE.
Character: Kivat-bat the Third (a.k.a. Kivat)
Series: Kamen Rider Kiva
Character Age: Estimated to be no more than 21
Canon: In every Kamen Rider series, the main character is a mostly ordinary young man who is given the extraordinary ability to transform into a spandex-wearing, masked superhero and kick the monster-of-the-week into oblivion. Kurenai Wataru is the newest addition to this long line of heroes with his alter ego being Kamen Rider Kiva. The lucky group to act as his weekly villains are the Fangire; vampirelike creatures who look like they're made from stained-glass and instead of sucking blood, suck life energy out of humans. What's a poor boy to do against enemies like that? Easy! Have a special device that lets him transform into the monster-kicking hero. But, unlike most henshin devices that magicial girls and other superheroes use, the gold device for Wataru has a name, flies and is the canon's mascot and narrator. Not bad for someone who's only palm-sized.
Just as his name says, Kivat-bat the Third is a bat-like creature. He transforms Wataru into Kiva by biting his hand and injecting a chemical that causes the change. Besides enabling his partner to wear spandex, Kivat is Wataru's friend and listens to his problems. Kivat's brain-to-mouth filter isn't the best so he isn't afraid to offer his opinion if somebody is being naive, missing a backbone or just being stupid. With an ego bigger than his body, he's a rather loud and bossy sidekick too. Then again, when your hero is someone who once believed he was allergic to the world, perhaps it's for the best that somebody gets to be tough for him. Ignoring the cynical comments he makes about humans, Kivat does have a less serious side he shows to anyone he likes. Furthermore, he has a thing for women with long necks. Don't ask.
Note: At the beginning of almost every episode, Kivat says "everyone, did you know?" to viewers and gives a random trivia fact.
Sample Post:
Everyone, did you know? The great Chinese philosopher, Confucius, once said, "a journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step."
Which means- Oi! Don't correct me! I know flying isn't walking! That quote's not supposed to be taken literally. Tch. What I mean is that I need directions to start my own journey and not wander around aimlessly here. I already know following the yellow dirt road is useless and somewhere over the rainbow, are a couple of violet gorillas who don't know the meaning of personal space. So don't try anything stupid on me. I made sure the last guys who did that regret it. The bites they got won't heal for at least a week. And don't give me that look and go "iyaan~." I said they were self-defense bites, not lovebites. So what do you say?
O-OI! Hands off of me! Nobody is turning the great Kivat into a bling-bling necklace! I'm wearing gold but that doesn't mean you can wear me! And you can stop stuffing me into those gaudy hats and feather boas. I'm not interested in becoming "camp's littlest pimp" either. Tch! It's no wonder you need all the "braaains" you can get. If you want to look good, go get your limbs in the right places first. You're giving a whole new meaning to the saying, "putting your foot in your mouth." While you're at it, try and grow a spine too. It's creepy but some of the other wildlife here have been doing that. Maybe you can too. Hmph, so much for friendly locals. Guess I'll have to ask someone else-
...Oh? You do know someone who can help me? Ah, perfect! Who are they? Ahh~ Your most elegant creature of camp? A delicate swan-like figure who enjoys long walks by the beach and boat rides during the evening? Hahaha! She sounds like a modern Lady of the Lake! Show me!
--A-Ah! S-She's a lot bigger than I imagined! Ehh...Everything about her certainly is long and she does enjoy living in the lake but it looks like she already has her tentacles on a boat. N-No need to disturb her from her fun. I insist. An escape route of a thousand miles begins with a flap of the wings after all!
Poll So?
Character: Tomoe Hotaru (aka Sailor Saturn)
Series: Bishoujo Senshi Sailor Moon (Mangaverse mostly)
Character Age: Technically around 1 or 2, but is physically 10 or 12. (Taken right after the end of the Dead Moon arc.)
Canon: Just about every grown fangirl remembers hearing, seeing, or--in this case--reading all about Sailor Moon, the manga-turned-anime phenomenon about a Moon princes in a Sailor fuku who, along with her similiarly-dressed allies, saved the world from outside forces. One of her fellow Sailor Senshi is the small-statured, yet very powerful Senshi of Death, Sailor Saturn. Saturn, originally, was supposed to be only awake long enough to bring about the end of the world when fate decided that there was no other way to save the planet from whatever's threatening to kill it. But, around the end of the Infinite Academy arc, Sailor Moon was able to help Saturn be reborn as a baby version of her modern-day alter ego, Tomoe Hotaru. During the Dead Moon arc, Hotaru underwent enormous growth spurts, aging from an infant to an elementary-age girl in just 6 months. It was all in preparation for her new awaking, this time as one of the normal Sailor Senshi, in which she automatically aged several years from a lil school kid to a tween with magical (shoujo) powers.
As just Tomoe Hotaru, she acts mostly like any girl her physical age. She's sweet, friendly, likes to play with her friends, doing typical school-girl stuff, and spending time with her family, which consists of Setsua (Sailor Pluto), Michiru-mama (Sailor Neptune), and Haruka-papa (Sailor Uranus). But because part of her mind is still no older than a toddler, she's been able to soak up a LOT of information so quickly. Before her latest awakening, she managed to read through her family's entire library, including stuff from famed authors like Lord Byron. In that sense, she's quite the genius when it comes to most academic stuff (though I doubt she had yet to get her hands dirty on the super-tough theories, like string theory). Physically, though, she's not very strong; she tends to tire more easily than most other fighters. As Sailor Saturn, however, her powers are very strong. She could form an energy shield to protect herself and anyone else with her, and she could use her glaive to slice foes to ribbons. The only thing she wouldn't do around camp is use her ultimate attack, "Death Rebirth Revolution". That is the attack that could wipe out the entire world...at the cost of her own life. Also, when she starts thinking more like Sailor Saturn, she becomes more philosophical, and it is hinted that she might be fascinated with anything and everything dealing with death. (Well, it is her element, technically...) But Hotaru does have one ability that is common in both of her forms: healing. She could heal her own wounds very quickly, as well as heal the more minor wounds on another person. In fact, it is this ability that has inspired her to become a nurse one day.
Sample Post:
Camp Journal, Day 1
Well, I am finally here at Camp Fuck You Die. I still don't understand why everyone was so insistant that I should not come here, though! I understand how the name might make them worry; I myself thought that it might be one of those mythical camps with a serial killer that came back from the dead every summer. I think Mina-chan actually said something like that, actually... Anyway, the brochure showed that it didn't have anyone like that; just zombies and unique activities. Haruka-papa kept harping on and on about the gorillas, but I'm not worried--I'm sure I can deal with them effectively.
However, there is still one thing that I feel is a true setback to this place--the zombies. More specifically, the poor souls trapped within their rotting shells. It truly is sad those poor souls are forever doomed to a restless afterlife of being an undead minion with hardly any remaining sentience of their own. Trapped in rotting corpses for all eternity...there truly is no beauty in undeath. At least, in that kind of undeath. If they were more like vampires--especially the japanese types--they would be beautiful, the living image of what their bodies were like at the moment they died. Such pristine bodies forever preserved in the moment they went from alive to blood-drinking undeath... That is beautiful. That is a gorgeous undeath. Of course, the drawback would be to not drink so much blood that people figure it out and try to stake or burn you. And you had to figure out who to bite, and how much to take, and whether you should have human or animal blood...
Such drawbacks are troublesome, but not as much as being a zombie. Most zombies could barely make a coherant sound! All the flesh is rotting and peeling, and--oh! What if you had maggots within you? EWWWWWW!!! I don't want to be walking around being half-eaten by maggots! That's just gross! I'd rather be a vampire than a zombie!
Well...if I had to choose between various types of undeath. Personally, I would like to be reborn into another life, as most people normally do.
Anyway, where was I...? Oh, yes! I'm here at camp! With the zombies and the purple gorillas and all these colorful birds and--
...A squid. There is a giant squid in the lake. I wonder if calamari is common on the menu...
Oh, yes! I need to find my cabin and meet my cabinmates! I hope I coudl be friends with all of them! And I hope that I won't have to transform in front of them, at least not on the first day... I also wonder when they usually have meals, and who the counsilers are. I hope they're all friendly--or at least, alive...
I think I'm going to have the best training trip summer camp of my life!
Poll So?
Character: Delirium
Series: The Sandman
Character Age: older than humanity but she looks prepubescent
Canon: The Sandman revolves around a family of seven dysfunctional siblings called The Endless. They are neither people nor gods, but rather anthropomorphic personifications of universal concepts, each controlling their own distinct realm. Though Dream, the title character, is the main protagonist, all Endless play major roles in this story of stories. Delirium is the youngest of The Endless. Her chaotic yet cozy little realm is full of color, swirls, and mismatched things that make little sense - but sometimes cents or scents.
Delirium takes the form of a lithe gutterpunk ragamuffin, with hair and clothing that may change faster than snapping your fingers. The one constant is her mismatched eyes. Delirium is randomness made 'flesh,' prone to take everything literally or go off on tangents. Blessed with the memory of a goldfish, it is only fitting that Delirium loves fish. She enjoys searching for her losted doggie, becoming fishies and butterflies, badtouching your sanity, inventing flavors of ice cream, and warping reality in general. She knows what you did last summer, she probably made you do it, and she collects WTFs by the bucketful. Once you brush against her realm, you leave something behind. Hope the mindfuck was as good for you as it was for her.
Incapable of recognizing sarcasm, childlike in disposition and speech, she is sweet and friendly by default. But don't cross her or you'll pay the price. Never insult her driving unless you want invisible insects crawling all over you forever. Never insult her in general or she might lick the inside of your head; tastes like honey candy! Most importantly, don't call her a person. You don't want to know how she'll prove you wrong.
Note: several CFUD characters are vaguely mentioned in sample post to show how Del relates to people. These are included with their muns' permission.
Sample Post:
Oh hello. Hi. This must be one of those places that's a place and isn't a place. I like those kinds of places. I once knew a place who was a person. He was really nice. Maybe he should take up the green fiddle?
Oh. Yes. This place. It's just my kind of place. Today is a flibberty day and the mootzes are playing palindrome contests with the sofas. The sofas are winning. Maybe you can join in later. After their set is over. Maybe that's after sunset.
...Or before. I forget.
This place. This place. I know it. It's delightfully unperfect. Little drops of whirly goodness and badness and thingies. I like whirly and swirly thingies. There are lots of people and not-people here. From all sorts of places. Some overlap. Some like to do the mambo. Some don't get along, only a short. Bad places, bad! Be nicer to each other!
Like this place. It's a nice place. Lots of everyone from everywhere and everywhen. Lots of nonlesbians. Hi there, nonlesbians! Hi there, people! Hi there, not-people! I know quite a few and notsomuch a many of you. You, you and you! Oh look, there goes Resurrection Man. That lady, she is water but she isn't. Drip drip, fluids. They. Um. They are three in one and... there's only one of me except if you call me san. And um... other things. Sometimes his eyes twinkle. I like it when eyes twinkle. It's prettyful. Sometimes my one eye twinkles. Guard your eyelids or fishies may nibble them into oblivion.
My name, you ask? Oh. I don't have a name. Not a name name. There are namelike things that people call me but. It's not a name. Here. Um. Let me spell it out for you.
Watch the letters as I draw them in the air. All prettyful and sparkly and colorful! There we go!
Dee! um... Ee! um... El! um... Eye! (Like your eyes!) um... Ar! um... Eye! (You have two, don't you? So do I.) um... YOU! um. Em em! Everyone loves eminems!
I am following my fishie. He knows the way to go. See, here he is on a string, showing me the way and oooh, is that a lovely tentacle lady type not-person? I think it is! Yay! Dancey dance dance! That reminds me, I love the word tentacle. Tentacle tentacle tentacle tentacle tentacle. Tentacle with a monocle, tentacle with porn, tentacle with spectacles, tentacle with a speculum, tentacle playing tetris, tentacle, tentacle, tentacle and a tent. There are probably more tentacles in the tent. Hello, Miss Marcy. You're looking prettyful and tentacly today.
What's that you say? Oh. That sucks.
Poll So?
Character: Prince Lui / Ludwig
Series: Ludwig Kakumei
Character Age: 19
Canon: Simply put, this is a series about screwed up fairytales because Kaori Yuki doesn't give a damn about practicality. She's got Snow White the Hooker, Little Red Riding Hood and a Rifle, Cinderella with Big Feet aaaand The Goose Girl at the Well who's not really a Girl but a Pretty Gay Boy with Parental Issues just to break your brain and make you cry. Of course, with such an amazing plot, there's got to be an equally extraordinary protagonist, and this person is none other than Prince Ludwig, who is essentially from a kingdom "far, far away" in a time "long, long ago".
But Prince Lui is not your ideal princely figure; oh no, this man has loads of problems, most of which are revealed when he's kicked out of home by daddy the King to journey for a bride before he gets disinherited from the throne. He proves to be a pervert with an undying obsession for large breasts and a penchant for assessing cup sizes, is also a vain narcissist and an egoistic bastard with a mean tongue. However, Ludwig isn't a bad person; just brutally honest, awkward and incapable of showing love to others because he doesn't know how.
Note: Wilhelm is Ludwig's poor tormented servant who always gets bullied with too much work, too little pay and loads of grief because he's such a nice guy. Majority of his job description involves menial things like carrying all the luggage and finding out about Ludwig's potential brides while our dear prince skives off somewhere ♥
Sample Post:
Alright, someone tell me where I can find that supposed fish-tailed sea princess with the F60s so I don't have to squander anymore of my time wandering around this cesspit and risk breaking my nails. These took forever to grow out, let me tell you, and I don't intend to waste them on dealing with stupid plants that keep trying to make a grab for my ass -- as irresistible as I know it may seem. Of course, normally I'd have that good for nothing Wilhelm around for all this brainless work but since he's decided to go the extra mile for stupidity and gotten himself lost somewhere, I can only depend on you lot.
...Not that I'm particularly excited about what I'm settling with. Frankly, the pathetic look on your faces would convince more than a moron to leave his life in the hands of a naive klutz like Wilhelm if he had a choice between the both of you. This clearly means something, since I will never trust that doofus with my life unless I had a de-socketed brain and ten shots of delirium. While I may be inclined to find it pitiable that someone could look so repellingly hideous; in the case of you lot, that disgusting skin tone just implies you must have brought this condition upon yourselves by stupidly touching or eating something obviously not meant for contact and hardly deserve any sympathy.
Whatever the case, the state you're all in now is making it hard for me to believe someone with F-cups can actually exist in this swamp. Just look at you there, yeah you at the back with your nipple rotting right off your chest; you're pretty brainless if you think I wouldn't be able to see that just because you're standing further away. The rest of you aren't any better off either; there's not even one of you here who's got anything bigger than C70s, and being a connoisseur who can't appreciate anything lesser than an E, all these fungi-infested chests are an utter disappointment. Needless to say, Wilhelm must have screwed up on his information this time, the idiot. Once he gets himself out of whatever ditch he's fallen into, he'd better be expecting to do more than carry my luggage around for a year and -- what did you say, Rotten Nipple? There's a princess with a suitable pair of breasts sized G65 in the lake called Marcy? Well, why didn't you say so earlier, moron? If I could've found a suitable candidate earlier, I wouldn't have to fritter away half my day on the lot of you. Well no matter, although I don't recall any sea princess' name being Marcy; G65s, you are mine!
Poll So?
Character: Da Qiao
Series: Dynasty Warriors
Character Age: 17
Canon: Late second century China is a very dangerous place. There are tons of peons wielding sharp, pointy sticks who want to stab you (when they're not busy waiting for you to stab them first, that is). There are also fierce warriors who are the equal of ten thousand men in battle. Vicious beasts wander the land, looking for their next meal. And, most dangerous of all, there are two well dressed, pretty young girls with cloth fans known as the Two Qiaos, from whom there is no escape. Nope, not ever.
Da Qiao is the elder of the two sisters, who are the daughters of a nobleman. She and her husband, Sun Ce, worry about one another incessantly, have cute little disagreements, and have cute banter back and forth on the battlefield. Still, she isn't attached to him at the hip. While she was at first very submissive and timid around him, Da Qiao grows into a more confident, assertive woman determined to protect and aid him in his quest. When feeling threatened, she can go from wibbling to righteous anger in a flash, and you won't like her when she's angry. Actually, you will, because even as she's tearing you to shreds with the grace of a trained dancer and the ferocity of a woman scorned, she's just cute as all hell. And for the record, Da Qiao is not for porn.
Sample Post:
See, everyone? Isn't this so much more rewarding than fighting and killing and eating one another? When we get together and discuss our differences like this, we realize that we can all be friends if we try hard enough! You, Mr. Ook-Ook. You said that your mother was captured by a circus troupe when you were just a baby and your father was well-meaning but had no idea how to raise you on his own. Everyone here understands your pain. With such a rough childhood, the only real path you felt you had was becoming a Mercenary-Gorilla-For-Hire. But I think we all agree with Mr. Kupo when he says that you can do so much more with your life. I think someone needs a hug and a nice, tasty banana!
Mrs. Brains, I realize that you think that your husband takes you for granted and that perhaps he doesn't show you the same level of affection he did when you first got married. Mr. Brains, I know that you think your wife is a bit demanding and that since you've gotten married, you've both gotten a lot older and lost a few limbs. But you've been married so long; don't both of you think you should take, perhaps, a second honeymoon? I realize that you're living on a tight budget - aren't we all these days - but there are plenty of places right here for you to go! I love to go on boat rides with my husband, for instance. We have a very healthy and loving relationship... We go on exciting dates, meet all sorts of interesting people, and we have a very active home life! Sure, he's a little sloppy, but I love him for who he is, and that means I even love the messes he makes on a regular basis. For instance, the way he always leaves the blankets twisted and disheveled when he rolls out of bed. I'm not such a fan of when he eats his breakfast in bed, though. How does one even get food on the ceiling?
I think the two of you could be more like me and my darling, Lord Sun Ce. There's never any shortage of excitement, and I know that he never takes me for granted, because if I eavesdr-- I mean, listen closely when he's talking to himself, he talks about how he'd like to give me all sorts of things. Perhaps the two of you could make a nice little boat and-- I-I'm afraid you lost me, Mrs. Brains. I'm not sure why it would matter that he can't find the little man in the boat. If you're hungry, just bring some leftovers with you.
If you'd like, I can come to your home teach you and your wife how to cook for the trip, Mr. Brains. Why, yes, I do know lots of dances. I'm sure I could teach your wife a few. But... I'm afraid I don't know any "exotic" ones-- M-Mrs. Brains! You don't have to hit your husband! He's just making conversation! Hmmm? Oh, yes, I do play a variety of instruments, like this flute I used to summon Mr. Kupo. ...Except, I have to admit that I've never heard of a "skin" flute... Mrs. Brains! You should be ashamed of yourself! That behavior is completely improper and unladylike!
...Even without all of your fingers, that gesture is very rude, ma'am.
Now then! Let's move on! I think we're all making a lot of progress. I've made everybody some steamed buns. I'm sorry, Mr. Brains, but I didn't have any human flesh. You see, where I come from, cannibalism is generally looked down upon. But hopefully you'll like pork just as much-- oh, goodness, I'm sorry! I forgot that you're under doctor's orders to avoid things that'll clog your arteries! I'll just have to find you something else to-- Mr. Brains!!! Remove Mr. Kupo from your mouth right this second. You don't know where he's been! Oh heavens, that's disgusting.
Poll So?
Character: Ranka Lee
Series: Macross Frontier
Character Age: 15
Canon: What do you get when you Gundam and American Idol? The Macross series!
Macross Frontier takes place in the year 2059 on the New Macross-class Colonial Fleet known as the Frontier. But it's too bad for this fleet that it gets attacked by an alien race, the Vajra. And our mandatory high school lead, a high school student called Alto, just so happens to get caught up in the middle of this while dealing with the love triangle he somehow found himself in. Fun times.
And one of the girls in this love triangle is none other then Ranka Lee, who lives with her older brother. The show follows Ranka's quest to become an idol; while it did take her a while to become noticed and she only started out with small jobs, Ranka accomplished her goal after staring in a movie as "Mao Nome". Thanks to the movie job she had, she has sky rocked into the charts. She has an extremely innocent, shy, and cheerful exterior. But due to a past trauma she has dissociative amnesia, which is triggered when she sees those who she cares for in pain. Even so, she doesn't let that stop her and wants help to people... And she's going to do just that through her singing!
Sample Post:
Everyone! Please hold on tight, let's put an end to this war! We're going to the end of the galaxy!
♪ The water's surface quivers
A ring of wind spreads
Your fingertips feel
The blue current
With only a glace
That lonely acceleration is
One moment that breaks into pieces
I love you. . . ♪
Okay, I hope that -- E-Eh? It... didn't work? Please, everyone try to get along! I understand that there are differences between Gorillas and Zombies, but there's always a solution that doesn't require violence! And... uh...
I really get feeling that no one listened to me at all... That’s never happened to me before… But I'm not going to give up! I'm sure that there's a way to make everyone stop fighting!
Everyone, please, listen! I'm not exactly sure what your situations are, maybe Gorilla-san A over there didn't like the way Zombie-san A looked at him, and it lead to a fight between the two. Or maybe Zombie-san B right over there is angry at Gorilla-san B for making one of his arms fall off. See, everything must have started because of one reason or another, but you shouldn't let that cause frustration to you! If you all just listened to each for a little bit, I'm sure a compromise could be -- A-Ah! Fighting over clothes isn’t good either! Instead of fighting over clothes, maybe you could always just find a different style? Like maybe instead of that shirt you are fighting over, maybe find a hat? You don’t always need new clothes to make a fashion statement, even small accessories work!
Please don't throw things at me! I'm just trying to help you all, and I think it would be great if everyone could just get along! For example, if the Gorillas cooperate with the Zombies, then Zombies wouldn't have to worry about anyone abusing them and bursting them into pieces! And then the Zombies could get help from the Zombies... for... Um... the Zombies could do the same for the Gorillas? Or well instead maybe you could try and bother that tentacle monster? … But that wouldn’t be very nice. We should try something else.
See, all you need is to compromise, and then you can all be friends! I mean, and then you can all help each other in peace and maybe even go on picnics with one another! I think that would be really nice for everyone, too!
... A-Ah! Wait, please, don’t start fighting again! I’m sure there’s another way, let’s try and find peace with one another, and hold together even if we fall apart! … W-wait, I didn’t mean it literally! Don’t rip that Zombies limbs off, please!
Poll So?
Remember!
- Applicants, respond anonymously.
- If you're going to do the whole "ask me if I voted you out!" thing, please state who you voted out.
- No speculating about the identity of the applicants!
Now VOTE.
Character: Kivat-bat the Third (a.k.a. Kivat)
Series: Kamen Rider Kiva
Character Age: Estimated to be no more than 21
Canon: In every Kamen Rider series, the main character is a mostly ordinary young man who is given the extraordinary ability to transform into a spandex-wearing, masked superhero and kick the monster-of-the-week into oblivion. Kurenai Wataru is the newest addition to this long line of heroes with his alter ego being Kamen Rider Kiva. The lucky group to act as his weekly villains are the Fangire; vampirelike creatures who look like they're made from stained-glass and instead of sucking blood, suck life energy out of humans. What's a poor boy to do against enemies like that? Easy! Have a special device that lets him transform into the monster-kicking hero. But, unlike most henshin devices that magicial girls and other superheroes use, the gold device for Wataru has a name, flies and is the canon's mascot and narrator. Not bad for someone who's only palm-sized.
Just as his name says, Kivat-bat the Third is a bat-like creature. He transforms Wataru into Kiva by biting his hand and injecting a chemical that causes the change. Besides enabling his partner to wear spandex, Kivat is Wataru's friend and listens to his problems. Kivat's brain-to-mouth filter isn't the best so he isn't afraid to offer his opinion if somebody is being naive, missing a backbone or just being stupid. With an ego bigger than his body, he's a rather loud and bossy sidekick too. Then again, when your hero is someone who once believed he was allergic to the world, perhaps it's for the best that somebody gets to be tough for him. Ignoring the cynical comments he makes about humans, Kivat does have a less serious side he shows to anyone he likes. Furthermore, he has a thing for women with long necks. Don't ask.
Note: At the beginning of almost every episode, Kivat says "everyone, did you know?" to viewers and gives a random trivia fact.
Sample Post:
Everyone, did you know? The great Chinese philosopher, Confucius, once said, "a journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step."
Which means- Oi! Don't correct me! I know flying isn't walking! That quote's not supposed to be taken literally. Tch. What I mean is that I need directions to start my own journey and not wander around aimlessly here. I already know following the yellow dirt road is useless and somewhere over the rainbow, are a couple of violet gorillas who don't know the meaning of personal space. So don't try anything stupid on me. I made sure the last guys who did that regret it. The bites they got won't heal for at least a week. And don't give me that look and go "iyaan~." I said they were self-defense bites, not lovebites. So what do you say?
O-OI! Hands off of me! Nobody is turning the great Kivat into a bling-bling necklace! I'm wearing gold but that doesn't mean you can wear me! And you can stop stuffing me into those gaudy hats and feather boas. I'm not interested in becoming "camp's littlest pimp" either. Tch! It's no wonder you need all the "braaains" you can get. If you want to look good, go get your limbs in the right places first. You're giving a whole new meaning to the saying, "putting your foot in your mouth." While you're at it, try and grow a spine too. It's creepy but some of the other wildlife here have been doing that. Maybe you can too. Hmph, so much for friendly locals. Guess I'll have to ask someone else-
...Oh? You do know someone who can help me? Ah, perfect! Who are they? Ahh~ Your most elegant creature of camp? A delicate swan-like figure who enjoys long walks by the beach and boat rides during the evening? Hahaha! She sounds like a modern Lady of the Lake! Show me!
--A-Ah! S-She's a lot bigger than I imagined! Ehh...Everything about her certainly is long and she does enjoy living in the lake but it looks like she already has her tentacles on a boat. N-No need to disturb her from her fun. I insist. An escape route of a thousand miles begins with a flap of the wings after all!
Poll So?
Character: Tomoe Hotaru (aka Sailor Saturn)
Series: Bishoujo Senshi Sailor Moon (Mangaverse mostly)
Character Age: Technically around 1 or 2, but is physically 10 or 12. (Taken right after the end of the Dead Moon arc.)
Canon: Just about every grown fangirl remembers hearing, seeing, or--in this case--reading all about Sailor Moon, the manga-turned-anime phenomenon about a Moon princes in a Sailor fuku who, along with her similiarly-dressed allies, saved the world from outside forces. One of her fellow Sailor Senshi is the small-statured, yet very powerful Senshi of Death, Sailor Saturn. Saturn, originally, was supposed to be only awake long enough to bring about the end of the world when fate decided that there was no other way to save the planet from whatever's threatening to kill it. But, around the end of the Infinite Academy arc, Sailor Moon was able to help Saturn be reborn as a baby version of her modern-day alter ego, Tomoe Hotaru. During the Dead Moon arc, Hotaru underwent enormous growth spurts, aging from an infant to an elementary-age girl in just 6 months. It was all in preparation for her new awaking, this time as one of the normal Sailor Senshi, in which she automatically aged several years from a lil school kid to a tween with magical (shoujo) powers.
As just Tomoe Hotaru, she acts mostly like any girl her physical age. She's sweet, friendly, likes to play with her friends, doing typical school-girl stuff, and spending time with her family, which consists of Setsua (Sailor Pluto), Michiru-mama (Sailor Neptune), and Haruka-papa (Sailor Uranus). But because part of her mind is still no older than a toddler, she's been able to soak up a LOT of information so quickly. Before her latest awakening, she managed to read through her family's entire library, including stuff from famed authors like Lord Byron. In that sense, she's quite the genius when it comes to most academic stuff (though I doubt she had yet to get her hands dirty on the super-tough theories, like string theory). Physically, though, she's not very strong; she tends to tire more easily than most other fighters. As Sailor Saturn, however, her powers are very strong. She could form an energy shield to protect herself and anyone else with her, and she could use her glaive to slice foes to ribbons. The only thing she wouldn't do around camp is use her ultimate attack, "Death Rebirth Revolution". That is the attack that could wipe out the entire world...at the cost of her own life. Also, when she starts thinking more like Sailor Saturn, she becomes more philosophical, and it is hinted that she might be fascinated with anything and everything dealing with death. (Well, it is her element, technically...) But Hotaru does have one ability that is common in both of her forms: healing. She could heal her own wounds very quickly, as well as heal the more minor wounds on another person. In fact, it is this ability that has inspired her to become a nurse one day.
Sample Post:
Camp Journal, Day 1
Well, I am finally here at Camp Fuck You Die. I still don't understand why everyone was so insistant that I should not come here, though! I understand how the name might make them worry; I myself thought that it might be one of those mythical camps with a serial killer that came back from the dead every summer. I think Mina-chan actually said something like that, actually... Anyway, the brochure showed that it didn't have anyone like that; just zombies and unique activities. Haruka-papa kept harping on and on about the gorillas, but I'm not worried--I'm sure I can deal with them effectively.
However, there is still one thing that I feel is a true setback to this place--the zombies. More specifically, the poor souls trapped within their rotting shells. It truly is sad those poor souls are forever doomed to a restless afterlife of being an undead minion with hardly any remaining sentience of their own. Trapped in rotting corpses for all eternity...there truly is no beauty in undeath. At least, in that kind of undeath. If they were more like vampires--especially the japanese types--they would be beautiful, the living image of what their bodies were like at the moment they died. Such pristine bodies forever preserved in the moment they went from alive to blood-drinking undeath... That is beautiful. That is a gorgeous undeath. Of course, the drawback would be to not drink so much blood that people figure it out and try to stake or burn you. And you had to figure out who to bite, and how much to take, and whether you should have human or animal blood...
Such drawbacks are troublesome, but not as much as being a zombie. Most zombies could barely make a coherant sound! All the flesh is rotting and peeling, and--oh! What if you had maggots within you? EWWWWWW!!! I don't want to be walking around being half-eaten by maggots! That's just gross! I'd rather be a vampire than a zombie!
Well...if I had to choose between various types of undeath. Personally, I would like to be reborn into another life, as most people normally do.
Anyway, where was I...? Oh, yes! I'm here at camp! With the zombies and the purple gorillas and all these colorful birds and--
...A squid. There is a giant squid in the lake. I wonder if calamari is common on the menu...
Oh, yes! I need to find my cabin and meet my cabinmates! I hope I coudl be friends with all of them! And I hope that I won't have to transform in front of them, at least not on the first day... I also wonder when they usually have meals, and who the counsilers are. I hope they're all friendly--or at least, alive...
I think I'm going to have the best training trip summer camp of my life!
Poll So?
Character: Delirium
Series: The Sandman
Character Age: older than humanity but she looks prepubescent
Canon: The Sandman revolves around a family of seven dysfunctional siblings called The Endless. They are neither people nor gods, but rather anthropomorphic personifications of universal concepts, each controlling their own distinct realm. Though Dream, the title character, is the main protagonist, all Endless play major roles in this story of stories. Delirium is the youngest of The Endless. Her chaotic yet cozy little realm is full of color, swirls, and mismatched things that make little sense - but sometimes cents or scents.
Delirium takes the form of a lithe gutterpunk ragamuffin, with hair and clothing that may change faster than snapping your fingers. The one constant is her mismatched eyes. Delirium is randomness made 'flesh,' prone to take everything literally or go off on tangents. Blessed with the memory of a goldfish, it is only fitting that Delirium loves fish. She enjoys searching for her losted doggie, becoming fishies and butterflies, badtouching your sanity, inventing flavors of ice cream, and warping reality in general. She knows what you did last summer, she probably made you do it, and she collects WTFs by the bucketful. Once you brush against her realm, you leave something behind. Hope the mindfuck was as good for you as it was for her.
Incapable of recognizing sarcasm, childlike in disposition and speech, she is sweet and friendly by default. But don't cross her or you'll pay the price. Never insult her driving unless you want invisible insects crawling all over you forever. Never insult her in general or she might lick the inside of your head; tastes like honey candy! Most importantly, don't call her a person. You don't want to know how she'll prove you wrong.
Note: several CFUD characters are vaguely mentioned in sample post to show how Del relates to people. These are included with their muns' permission.
Sample Post:
Oh hello. Hi. This must be one of those places that's a place and isn't a place. I like those kinds of places. I once knew a place who was a person. He was really nice. Maybe he should take up the green fiddle?
Oh. Yes. This place. It's just my kind of place. Today is a flibberty day and the mootzes are playing palindrome contests with the sofas. The sofas are winning. Maybe you can join in later. After their set is over. Maybe that's after sunset.
...Or before. I forget.
This place. This place. I know it. It's delightfully unperfect. Little drops of whirly goodness and badness and thingies. I like whirly and swirly thingies. There are lots of people and not-people here. From all sorts of places. Some overlap. Some like to do the mambo. Some don't get along, only a short. Bad places, bad! Be nicer to each other!
Like this place. It's a nice place. Lots of everyone from everywhere and everywhen. Lots of nonlesbians. Hi there, nonlesbians! Hi there, people! Hi there, not-people! I know quite a few and notsomuch a many of you. You, you and you! Oh look, there goes Resurrection Man. That lady, she is water but she isn't. Drip drip, fluids. They. Um. They are three in one and... there's only one of me except if you call me san. And um... other things. Sometimes his eyes twinkle. I like it when eyes twinkle. It's prettyful. Sometimes my one eye twinkles. Guard your eyelids or fishies may nibble them into oblivion.
My name, you ask? Oh. I don't have a name. Not a name name. There are namelike things that people call me but. It's not a name. Here. Um. Let me spell it out for you.
Watch the letters as I draw them in the air. All prettyful and sparkly and colorful! There we go!
Dee! um... Ee! um... El! um... Eye! (Like your eyes!) um... Ar! um... Eye! (You have two, don't you? So do I.) um... YOU! um. Em em! Everyone loves eminems!
I am following my fishie. He knows the way to go. See, here he is on a string, showing me the way and oooh, is that a lovely tentacle lady type not-person? I think it is! Yay! Dancey dance dance! That reminds me, I love the word tentacle. Tentacle tentacle tentacle tentacle tentacle. Tentacle with a monocle, tentacle with porn, tentacle with spectacles, tentacle with a speculum, tentacle playing tetris, tentacle, tentacle, tentacle and a tent. There are probably more tentacles in the tent. Hello, Miss Marcy. You're looking prettyful and tentacly today.
What's that you say? Oh. That sucks.
Poll So?
Character: Prince Lui / Ludwig
Series: Ludwig Kakumei
Character Age: 19
Canon: Simply put, this is a series about screwed up fairytales because Kaori Yuki doesn't give a damn about practicality. She's got Snow White the Hooker, Little Red Riding Hood and a Rifle, Cinderella with Big Feet aaaand The Goose Girl at the Well who's not really a Girl but a Pretty Gay Boy with Parental Issues just to break your brain and make you cry. Of course, with such an amazing plot, there's got to be an equally extraordinary protagonist, and this person is none other than Prince Ludwig, who is essentially from a kingdom "far, far away" in a time "long, long ago".
But Prince Lui is not your ideal princely figure; oh no, this man has loads of problems, most of which are revealed when he's kicked out of home by daddy the King to journey for a bride before he gets disinherited from the throne. He proves to be a pervert with an undying obsession for large breasts and a penchant for assessing cup sizes, is also a vain narcissist and an egoistic bastard with a mean tongue. However, Ludwig isn't a bad person; just brutally honest, awkward and incapable of showing love to others because he doesn't know how.
Note: Wilhelm is Ludwig's poor tormented servant who always gets bullied with too much work, too little pay and loads of grief because he's such a nice guy. Majority of his job description involves menial things like carrying all the luggage and finding out about Ludwig's potential brides while our dear prince skives off somewhere ♥
Sample Post:
Alright, someone tell me where I can find that supposed fish-tailed sea princess with the F60s so I don't have to squander anymore of my time wandering around this cesspit and risk breaking my nails. These took forever to grow out, let me tell you, and I don't intend to waste them on dealing with stupid plants that keep trying to make a grab for my ass -- as irresistible as I know it may seem. Of course, normally I'd have that good for nothing Wilhelm around for all this brainless work but since he's decided to go the extra mile for stupidity and gotten himself lost somewhere, I can only depend on you lot.
...Not that I'm particularly excited about what I'm settling with. Frankly, the pathetic look on your faces would convince more than a moron to leave his life in the hands of a naive klutz like Wilhelm if he had a choice between the both of you. This clearly means something, since I will never trust that doofus with my life unless I had a de-socketed brain and ten shots of delirium. While I may be inclined to find it pitiable that someone could look so repellingly hideous; in the case of you lot, that disgusting skin tone just implies you must have brought this condition upon yourselves by stupidly touching or eating something obviously not meant for contact and hardly deserve any sympathy.
Whatever the case, the state you're all in now is making it hard for me to believe someone with F-cups can actually exist in this swamp. Just look at you there, yeah you at the back with your nipple rotting right off your chest; you're pretty brainless if you think I wouldn't be able to see that just because you're standing further away. The rest of you aren't any better off either; there's not even one of you here who's got anything bigger than C70s, and being a connoisseur who can't appreciate anything lesser than an E, all these fungi-infested chests are an utter disappointment. Needless to say, Wilhelm must have screwed up on his information this time, the idiot. Once he gets himself out of whatever ditch he's fallen into, he'd better be expecting to do more than carry my luggage around for a year and -- what did you say, Rotten Nipple? There's a princess with a suitable pair of breasts sized G65 in the lake called Marcy? Well, why didn't you say so earlier, moron? If I could've found a suitable candidate earlier, I wouldn't have to fritter away half my day on the lot of you. Well no matter, although I don't recall any sea princess' name being Marcy; G65s, you are mine!
Poll So?
Character: Da Qiao
Series: Dynasty Warriors
Character Age: 17
Canon: Late second century China is a very dangerous place. There are tons of peons wielding sharp, pointy sticks who want to stab you (when they're not busy waiting for you to stab them first, that is). There are also fierce warriors who are the equal of ten thousand men in battle. Vicious beasts wander the land, looking for their next meal. And, most dangerous of all, there are two well dressed, pretty young girls with cloth fans known as the Two Qiaos, from whom there is no escape. Nope, not ever.
Da Qiao is the elder of the two sisters, who are the daughters of a nobleman. She and her husband, Sun Ce, worry about one another incessantly, have cute little disagreements, and have cute banter back and forth on the battlefield. Still, she isn't attached to him at the hip. While she was at first very submissive and timid around him, Da Qiao grows into a more confident, assertive woman determined to protect and aid him in his quest. When feeling threatened, she can go from wibbling to righteous anger in a flash, and you won't like her when she's angry. Actually, you will, because even as she's tearing you to shreds with the grace of a trained dancer and the ferocity of a woman scorned, she's just cute as all hell. And for the record, Da Qiao is not for porn.
Sample Post:
See, everyone? Isn't this so much more rewarding than fighting and killing and eating one another? When we get together and discuss our differences like this, we realize that we can all be friends if we try hard enough! You, Mr. Ook-Ook. You said that your mother was captured by a circus troupe when you were just a baby and your father was well-meaning but had no idea how to raise you on his own. Everyone here understands your pain. With such a rough childhood, the only real path you felt you had was becoming a Mercenary-Gorilla-For-Hire. But I think we all agree with Mr. Kupo when he says that you can do so much more with your life. I think someone needs a hug and a nice, tasty banana!
Mrs. Brains, I realize that you think that your husband takes you for granted and that perhaps he doesn't show you the same level of affection he did when you first got married. Mr. Brains, I know that you think your wife is a bit demanding and that since you've gotten married, you've both gotten a lot older and lost a few limbs. But you've been married so long; don't both of you think you should take, perhaps, a second honeymoon? I realize that you're living on a tight budget - aren't we all these days - but there are plenty of places right here for you to go! I love to go on boat rides with my husband, for instance. We have a very healthy and loving relationship... We go on exciting dates, meet all sorts of interesting people, and we have a very active home life! Sure, he's a little sloppy, but I love him for who he is, and that means I even love the messes he makes on a regular basis. For instance, the way he always leaves the blankets twisted and disheveled when he rolls out of bed. I'm not such a fan of when he eats his breakfast in bed, though. How does one even get food on the ceiling?
I think the two of you could be more like me and my darling, Lord Sun Ce. There's never any shortage of excitement, and I know that he never takes me for granted, because if I eavesdr-- I mean, listen closely when he's talking to himself, he talks about how he'd like to give me all sorts of things. Perhaps the two of you could make a nice little boat and-- I-I'm afraid you lost me, Mrs. Brains. I'm not sure why it would matter that he can't find the little man in the boat. If you're hungry, just bring some leftovers with you.
If you'd like, I can come to your home teach you and your wife how to cook for the trip, Mr. Brains. Why, yes, I do know lots of dances. I'm sure I could teach your wife a few. But... I'm afraid I don't know any "exotic" ones-- M-Mrs. Brains! You don't have to hit your husband! He's just making conversation! Hmmm? Oh, yes, I do play a variety of instruments, like this flute I used to summon Mr. Kupo. ...Except, I have to admit that I've never heard of a "skin" flute... Mrs. Brains! You should be ashamed of yourself! That behavior is completely improper and unladylike!
...Even without all of your fingers, that gesture is very rude, ma'am.
Now then! Let's move on! I think we're all making a lot of progress. I've made everybody some steamed buns. I'm sorry, Mr. Brains, but I didn't have any human flesh. You see, where I come from, cannibalism is generally looked down upon. But hopefully you'll like pork just as much-- oh, goodness, I'm sorry! I forgot that you're under doctor's orders to avoid things that'll clog your arteries! I'll just have to find you something else to-- Mr. Brains!!! Remove Mr. Kupo from your mouth right this second. You don't know where he's been! Oh heavens, that's disgusting.
Poll So?
Character: Ranka Lee
Series: Macross Frontier
Character Age: 15
Canon: What do you get when you Gundam and American Idol? The Macross series!
Macross Frontier takes place in the year 2059 on the New Macross-class Colonial Fleet known as the Frontier. But it's too bad for this fleet that it gets attacked by an alien race, the Vajra. And our mandatory high school lead, a high school student called Alto, just so happens to get caught up in the middle of this while dealing with the love triangle he somehow found himself in. Fun times.
And one of the girls in this love triangle is none other then Ranka Lee, who lives with her older brother. The show follows Ranka's quest to become an idol; while it did take her a while to become noticed and she only started out with small jobs, Ranka accomplished her goal after staring in a movie as "Mao Nome". Thanks to the movie job she had, she has sky rocked into the charts. She has an extremely innocent, shy, and cheerful exterior. But due to a past trauma she has dissociative amnesia, which is triggered when she sees those who she cares for in pain. Even so, she doesn't let that stop her and wants help to people... And she's going to do just that through her singing!
Sample Post:
Everyone! Please hold on tight, let's put an end to this war! We're going to the end of the galaxy!
♪ The water's surface quivers
A ring of wind spreads
Your fingertips feel
The blue current
With only a glace
That lonely acceleration is
One moment that breaks into pieces
I love you. . . ♪
Okay, I hope that -- E-Eh? It... didn't work? Please, everyone try to get along! I understand that there are differences between Gorillas and Zombies, but there's always a solution that doesn't require violence! And... uh...
I really get feeling that no one listened to me at all... That’s never happened to me before… But I'm not going to give up! I'm sure that there's a way to make everyone stop fighting!
Everyone, please, listen! I'm not exactly sure what your situations are, maybe Gorilla-san A over there didn't like the way Zombie-san A looked at him, and it lead to a fight between the two. Or maybe Zombie-san B right over there is angry at Gorilla-san B for making one of his arms fall off. See, everything must have started because of one reason or another, but you shouldn't let that cause frustration to you! If you all just listened to each for a little bit, I'm sure a compromise could be -- A-Ah! Fighting over clothes isn’t good either! Instead of fighting over clothes, maybe you could always just find a different style? Like maybe instead of that shirt you are fighting over, maybe find a hat? You don’t always need new clothes to make a fashion statement, even small accessories work!
Please don't throw things at me! I'm just trying to help you all, and I think it would be great if everyone could just get along! For example, if the Gorillas cooperate with the Zombies, then Zombies wouldn't have to worry about anyone abusing them and bursting them into pieces! And then the Zombies could get help from the Zombies... for... Um... the Zombies could do the same for the Gorillas? Or well instead maybe you could try and bother that tentacle monster? … But that wouldn’t be very nice. We should try something else.
See, all you need is to compromise, and then you can all be friends! I mean, and then you can all help each other in peace and maybe even go on picnics with one another! I think that would be really nice for everyone, too!
... A-Ah! Wait, please, don’t start fighting again! I’m sure there’s another way, let’s try and find peace with one another, and hold together even if we fall apart! … W-wait, I didn’t mean it literally! Don’t rip that Zombies limbs off, please!
Poll So?