(no subject)
Final round~! The next application round date will be announced eventually.
Remember!
- Applicants, respond anonymously.
- If you're going to do the whole "ask me if I voted you out!" thing, please state who you voted out.
- No speculating about the identity of the applicants!
Now VOTE. Closed!
Character: Yamada Taro
Series: Yamada Taro Monogatari (drama version)
Character Age: 17
Canon: Sometimes in this world the ducks are really swans and the frogs are really royalty - other times, the rich, handsome, popular, athletic ‘prince’ at your school is really Yamada Taro, a scholarship student who spends all his free time as a penny pinching, food obsessed mom to his 6 bothers and sisters who all live in a shack in the suburbs of Tokyo. Life is funny that way.
Taro’s got the passion, eagerness, patience, affection and frugal sensibility to make any soccer-mom blush, and he’s endlessly kind and giving to boot. Devoting his life to his family and loved ones, Taro stops at nothing to come through in the end. The only thing perhaps that can rival Taro's love for family though, is his love for food. He’s incredibly interested in the farming sciences, wishing to use his skills so that everyone can always have delicious, inexpensive things to eat. Not to mention he's more likely to remember you for the smell of what you had for breakfast than for your face.
Incredibly optimistic and uncomplaining, it's hard to tell Taro’s experienced any hardship at all. One day his relative kind hearted naiveté will probably get the best of him - until then, I'm sure he'd be glad to knit you a nice new pair of socks from inexpensive, lightly recycled yarn.
Sample:
I know this is the discount course, but when the brochure said that I could ‘Study agriculture deep amidst the beautiful Louisiana landscape, ripe with exciting flora and fauna not found anywhere else in the world!’, I should have known there was probably a catch. Not that I'm complaining, this has been an amazing experience!
I'm learning a lot I think, even without anyone to guide me like I'd hoped. I planted some things that looked alright after I built my shelter, and some of them have already born fruit! A few of the strawberries have been trying to bite me, but I'm hoping that just means they're fresh. Tomorrow I'll try harvesting the breed that look like red carrots. They're about the size of my arm, and don't seem dangerous at all! I've been taking a lot of notes, and hopefully I can duplicate the experiments at home. We'll never have to buy fruit again if I can! They may even protect us from burglars!
I've been doing my best to keep things away from my camp, and I even think that if I just fortify it a little bit more, my hut may withstand another attack from the undead - and that would really be for the best, because I don’t think I’ll get lucky enough for them to stumble in to my strawberry patch more than once. I almost felt sorry for them.
Too bad Kazuo isn't here. I'll bet he'd really think this was great! Maybe he wouldn't wish we could afford video games if he could see a zombie for himself. I'll definitely take a picture and bring it home! The guys will be really amazed~! What a cool big brother to fight off the undead!
I think tomorrow I'll try to wander further into the woods. There have to be other people around besides the zombies and the monkeys that keep trying to steal my turnips, and I need to find them so that I can get to my flight home on time. It's about the day for me to leave and it'll really be a bother if I miss the flight back because I got held up with something trying to murder me or steal my things. So please, if you get this message and know where the organizers of this program are, direct me to them! I said I'd be home the day after tomorrow, and being lost in the middle of nowhere without a phone, transportation, or contact with the outside world is no excuse for breaking a promise!
Poll Vote!
Name: Ophelia
Age: Unknown, but appears to be 18-21
Series: Claymore
Canon: Claymore's world is filled with many monsters called "yoma"- grey, ugly creatures that feed on the flesh of humans, and can assume the appearance of any person they have devoured. This, of course, makes them horribly hard to track down, and even harder, to kill; especially in this very backwater world. Fearing death, villages who have been taken over by yoma have only one thing they can rely on; an organization with its main focus being to exterminate the existence of yoma. This organization and the people who it is comprised of don't have any sort of name- but due to the giant swords they carry, people call them 'Claymore'.
The Claymore are half-human half-yoma; feared by all, but relied on for their strength and efficiency in killing yoma. By releasing their yoma power, their strength and defense increase exponentially, and some can even do so much as regenerate their limbs. There is a price to pay for this power, however: the more power you use, the more you risk going over your limit and becoming a yoma yourself. Those who do go over their limit come out as something even stronger and more terrifying than what they were created to destroy. These are 'Awakened Beings'.
Initially, Ophelia presents herself as a polite (if a bit blunt sometimes), well-mannered individual. This, however, is partially just a mask; inside, she is a twisted, rude person. At most times, her real happiness is either when she's killing Awakened Ones or playing sadistic "games" with her fellow Claymore. She does, however, detest the idea of awakening herself, as her family was killed by one. While with this particular Awakened Being didn't pose a threat to her, not knowing this, her brother used himself as a "distraction" while she escaped. Rather than being thankful, she gets irrationally angry whenever she remembers this, furious at her brother for "leaving her behind".
In all, Ophelia isn't a horrible person, just a seriously messed up one. And while there doesn't always seem to be much of a difference, in the end, it seems to be what counts.
Sample post:
My, my. This is certainly an… interesting place you've got going here. And what a lovely little set up! The pink banner clashes so terribly with the environment that your eyes barely register the hideous background at all! 'Camp Fuck You, Die'? Is this some kind of joke?
Ah, where are my manners? Now, I must apologize for acting so hostile towards you earlier. I had assumed you were some form of beast, until your green friend in the black suit corrected me. I didn't know you were simply suffering from… ah, what did he say it was? Vitamin deficiency? Is this land seriously so barren that these stupid people can't even find proper food? While I cannot offer you anything to make up for this error, I hope that you will find it in your hearts to forgive me.
Ah--! What-- what the hell are you doing? I meant figuratively, you fucking morons! If you wanted to die so badly, you could have just let me kill you all without all that incessant whining. Shoving pieces of paper in my face is no way to welcome the person who's going to save your miserable lives. The AZL? The American Zombie League? Half of those words don't make any fucking sense, and who would support a bunch of deteriorating freaks in the middle of nowhere!? And the "over 9000 members" line would be much more impressive if they weren't obviously completely comprised of your own kind.
Now, if you don't mind, and wish to continue living, I suggest you evacuate the premises immediately. I couldn't care less if you get killed by dancing in front of my sword and no, I don't think you can, stop asking, but for your own good, this will be your only warning. All damages that will occur are not my fault nor the Organization's. Any objections?
Wh- stop swinging those gavels around! The strap won't stop it from flying out of your hand, either, you stupid creature! I asked if there were any objections to be polite, but clearly that gesture is lost on you! Put those things down and shut up! Tch- stop making those pathetic faces at me; it's a major turn-off!
... That expression isn't exactly what I had in mind, either.
Poll Vote!
Character name: T-elos
Series: Xenosaga (Ep. III)
Age: Looks 18
Canon: Note: App contains spoilers.
What do you get when you mix salty aliens from another dimension,
forced reincarnation via the internet and robots who hook up to God
for use as a battery? I'll tell you. Add some Jung and Wagner, and
what you get is a fruity cocktail known as Xenosaga. T-elos is a
battle android made to replace and surpass KOS-MOS, a weapon created
to fight off the mysterious aliens that threaten humanity called
"gnosis", but was built by a competing company called Ganador. She
antagonizes the main characters (as antagonists will) throughout the
third game, attempting to destroy KOS-MOS at every turn in order to
absorb her consciousness.
Arrogant and with a noticeable superiority complex, T-elos is
sadistic, impatient, and has the occasional urge to monologue, showing
the full range of emotions her prototype, KOS-MOS, lacks and usually
mocks KOS-MOS for her mechanical demeanor while waiting for the stupid
damn heroes to stop hitting her uselessly so she can make sum android
barbecue. Unlike KOS-MOS who considers herself a weapon and carries
out her daily tasks with the efficiency and complacency of a machine,
T-elos is vain, cocky and arrogant, and is KOS-MOS's diametric
opposite with her left-handedness and skankier color scheme of doom.
Her only desire is to fulfill the wishes of her designer, complete
with professionally-constructed melodramatic prose and a wide
assortment of robot pwnage.
Sample Entry: So it's come to this. I am the superior, true
anti-gnosis unit, here to replace that useless prototype. Where is
the accommodation in this uncivilized pit? Unbelievable! Reduced to
chasing that pathetic doll through time and space, only to find
her here, rusting in a stinking muddy hellhole full of special-needs
children and mutated humans like this one, dragging their own rotting
carcasses to and fro. Just like all the others: nothing but a
disappointment. How cute. You're barely worth the time it would take
to destroy you. Perhaps you crave brainmeat to sate the empty feeling
from your inferior cerebral capacity. I find it disgusting, how even
the lowliest of men and women somehow manage to be vain, and even the
greatest manage to be foolish. What is it that enforces such folly...?
If it is pride, then that would mean defeat is a panacea for all sins.
Very well then, I will save you, if that is your wish. Through the
face of oblivion, all veils and delusions fall away. Killing is only
wrong when it is at the wrong moment.
While I have no intentions of dirtying my hands for you people, it
seems to be the quickest way of completing this ridiculous
puzzle to get this entrance into the encampment open, then I can
finally get my hands that defective toy. And I'll destroy her
after I find and punish whoever replaced my pistol with this
"tsunde-ray" during my transfer. The fact that is uses over 9000
joules is enough of a reason to simply use it as a club, rather than
it's apparent intended purpose. This undoubtedly makes you all happy.
Excessive violence is funny, no? Come now, are you really so dense
that you can't fight back, or even move when I hit you? How utterly...
pitiful. Please, amuse me! There is no salvation or damnation; only
the endless prelude of eternity! If you think you know, you are
suffering a delusion. Any truth you have managed to chain your feeble
mind into believing is a falsehood... for in the lack of knowing
everything, you truly do not know anything.
... You there, with the chewed-off lips; you're no longer needed. I've
gotten enough of your feeble zombie wills into the Human Soul
Containment Unit™. Have you had enough of this delusion of
"fun"? If not, then I can always indulge you some more. No? As
I thought. Really, I would call your life a joke, but ultimately a
joke is far more relevant than the macrocosm which has birthed it. The
reason I exist is to save imbeciles like you lot from your own
weak and easily misled minds. I must defeat my lesser self and bring
the earth to its knees, because that is the right thing to do.
... Right after I've completed this "minigame".
Poll Vote!
Character: Kurookano Shijima
Series: Nabari no Ou.
Character Age: Appears to be in her teens.
Canon: In Nabari no Ou there are two worlds. The Front World, where normal people live out their everyday lives, and the world of ninjas: Nabari. Nabari is split up into several opposing ninja villages, each with different teaching styles and goals. Some take assassination jobs, some collect secret techniques, and some get their friends free cable. Almost all of them are after the power known as Shinrabanshou, which possesses the power to shape the world to the user's will. It's recently awakened inside the body of the indifferent Rokujo Miharu, sending the world of Nabari into chaos over who will obtain his power first.
Kurookano Shijima first appears as a student at the Alya Academy of the Koga village- or so we think. She certainly seems not exactly as human as the other students of the ninja village, almost animal-like in her attack form and hardly fazed by anything. Despite being a member of the student counsel, Shijima doesn't seem very interested in any of her duties. Or anything at all, for that matter (which says a lot when dealing with ninja death matches of super-jutsus). She doesn't have much patience for people, and would much rather fall asleep on the ground than show guests around the area. Her experience often leads her to expect the worse of people, and doesn't hesitate to point out someone's failures in the harshest way. Despite this, she does still like certain people, though her affection is usually very guarded. It's later revealed that the reason for her inhuman behavior is that [spoilers] she's an immortal creature that began life as a cat that was later given a human heart by one of the previous Shinrabanshou users. [/spoilers]
Sample Post:
Oh look. You've messed up my towel again. This experience would be more enjoyable if the beach was more water proof, I don't know who would want to get me wet when there's all this sand around; I can't even sunbathe when it's like that. Most would keep a tarp or something helpful laying around here to keep things dry. Your planning skills are quite lacking. Stop that moaning sound, what's wrong with you? I assumed that if you had a pre-made picnic lunch in that chest you pulled up, you might have some tarps down there too. Are you sure you checked the one next to the pink-green algae? Stop flailing your tentacles every time I say something, or I can just go somewhere with less annoying residents. Fine, if I have to, I'll settle with towels.
Stop giving me that pathetic look, I am not going to approach you to apply any sunscreen on your tentacles. You do not need it with your skin type, and I am not coming any closer to that water. It doesn't matter if I'm the only one around to do it, your actual motives are obvious. If you insist I will put the bugspray on for you later. From a distance. You did fish the tuna out of the lake for me, I suppose I can do that much for you, even if you are a worthless picnic companion. Don't make me regret actually obeying that sign at the pool that said cats weren't allowed until Saturday. Now, what happened to that jar of mustard? The taste will be off if those eyeballs I was preserving are gone, but it should be good enough.
And as for you gorillas, my back is fine. You should stop touching it. As I said the last three times, I have no need to be 'lotioned up', so stop coming near me. That area would constitute a 'bad touch' in the US territories and I have no qualms about initiating self-defense. I should just eat my sandwich and sleep off that toucan I had earlier. It was very noisy going down, but I was hungry. The detached limbs I found on the ground seemed a little too ripe, and fowl's always better than week-old human. That building outside the woods that claimed to be a five-star restaurant only had 'Delicious Braaaiiinsss' for the afternoon, and it was overpriced. The goats serving weren't trained well, attacking costumers in hormonal rages.
I think I'll take my nap early. Keep those eyes out in case someone comes by, they should still be by the mustard. Do wake me up if those rotting people run into the gorillas and lose any livers. I need to have something for dinner.
Poll Vote!
Character: Jenny Sparks
Series: The Authority
Character Age: Physically 19. Actually 99 and 364 days.
Canon: There is a chosen one. One girl in all the world with the strengths and skills to-no, wait, wrong blonde, sorry. Jenny Sparks is the Spirit of the Twentieth Century, imbued with all sorts of awesome electricity powers and shaping major world events through her very existence. Her parents died on the Titanic, her godfather was Albert Einstein, and she suggested a crap Austrian painter of her acquaintance consider a career in politics. You may have heard of him. Name of Hitler. In the last year of her life, Jenny decided to form a team of the greatest superhumans Earth had ever seen, to strive for a finer world and kick the odd alien threat in the balls. This was the Authority. It included a ruthless killing machine and his boyfriend the overpowered Superman analogue, a woman who replaced her blood with nine pints of liquid machinery FOR SCIENCE, and a magician on a global scale (who was also a pothead), all of whom were kind of scared of Jenny.
Jenny is a foul-mouthed, chainsmoking, hard-drinking, promiscuously bisexual blonde with one of the poshest British accents you will ever hear. What exactly that says about the twentieth century is up to you. All she wants is a finer world, and that the world persists in sucking despite her best efforts is very depressing to her. She's an old woman in a young woman's body, and sick of it, and to that end she takes it out on those around her. While persisting in not turning into a supervillain. She is, in short, an enormously bitter bitch. And she likes it that way.
Note: On December 31, 1999, at 11:59 PM Greenwich Mean Time, Jenny died after electrocuting the closest thing her reality had to God to death, Texas prison-style. I will be taking Jenny from directly following her death.
Sample Post:
Right, then. I'm reasonably sure this isn't heaven, since they probably don't let you in there after you kill God. Don't get me wrong, it's certainly hot enough to be hell, but I'd expect more fire and brimstone if that were the case. It's a sad excuse for an afterlife, at any rate, but if I can find a pack of cigarettes and someone to shag, things will be looking up...oh, hello there. I say, you're looking a bit green around the gills, aren't you? If you heard that bit about the shagging, I'm not that desperate, but if you've got a pack of Silk Cuts anywhere on you I don't suppose I could bum one? No? Well, then I'll be on my-no, you have to let me by for me to leave, you see, because if you don't-well, that's rather fascinating. Tell me, are you aware you don't have a bioelectrical field?
Would you like to have one?
Anyone else? No? I rather didn't think so. I'll be on my way now, and if one of you fine fellows would be kind enough to stop twitching and smoking long enough to point the way toward civilization-and by 'civilization' I of course mean 'somewhere I can get a bloody cigarette'-that would be smashing. What's that? I couldn't quite hear through the moaning. Did you say 'Marlboro?' What on Earth makes you think I would smoke one of those foul things? I'm not Jeroen. I must not have zapped you hard enough; your brain still isn't working. Here, let me fix that.
Are we done here? I think we're done here. I'd say thanks for the help, but you have in fact been staggeringly unhelpful. Get-what are you doing, get your hand off my ankle or I'll kick your fingers off. You want something? What is it, Lassie, Timmy's down the well? No? You want...you want me to electrocute you again. Please don't tell me you enjoyed that. Oh. You did.
...
If I do, will you point me toward somewhere I can get a bloody cigarette? Was that a yes? Then we have a deal, my shambling friend. Here goes nothing...
Poll Vote!
Character: Meguro Gau
Series: Nabari no Ou
Character Age: 16
Canon: Nabari no Ou tells the tale of a boy whose become the vessel of the Shinrabanshou (aka Ultimate Knowledge, basically). Taking place in modern Japan, the world of ninja is, for the most part, hidden from the "front" world. But with the awakening of the Shinrabanshou, the ninja villages have begun to move in the hopes of obtaining its power, including the organization Kairoushuu.
For the most part, Meguro Gau is a normal person, who ended up involved with ninja mostly by chance and being saved by Kairoushuu swordsman Raikou. Gau is idealistic almost to a fault, believing in justice and the possibility of obtaining "true justice". He always aims for politeness, though he can be rather outspoken as well - at least until he is knocked back into place. Within the Kairoushuu, when he's not at school, he does simple things such as writing reports for Raikou-san, as well as tag along during Raikou-san's missions. He considers Raikou-san the most important person in his life and tries to help him as much as possible. But Gau tends to want the best for people in general, and to make things right, even if it means killing the criminals to bring peace.
Sample App:
August XX, 20XX
I, Meguro Gau, have finally arrived at Camp- ...at Camp- how vulgar! ....Camp Fudd. Hmph! No matter how you look at it, this is definitely a suspicious place. A so-called summer camp in the middle of nowhere, with illegally-imported animals and lunatics dressing up as undead - there must be underhanded dealings going on to keep this place from being shut down! Well, no matter. With me on the case, I'll definitely reveal everything and help bring about justice. Since this is something I can do, I must do it to the best of my ability. The leader has put his faith in me for this, after all!
But where to start... the important thing is to gather information, so if I ask around, I'll surely discover something. I'll start with the employees and then work to the "campers". Someone is bound to slip. Right! I'll start with that guy over in the half-brained costume.
Hey, excuse me, sir, I'm sorry for interrupting your work, but I have a couple of questions to ask-- ah! Just a moment! Please don't walk away! It won't take long at all, I promise! You see, it's for a school report; I'm writing about American summer camps and their influence, and I need information on the inner workings. If you could just tell me about the administration here, as well as your opinions, it would be really helpful. Please, I beg you, it's really important. I really need to do well on this paper, or else I'll fail my class! Eh- Hey, why is everyone walking away? Wait, come back! They're all going in different directions. Should I follow the first man, or...?
Hmm, this is harder than I thought... but I won't give up! I should have known it wouldn't be so easy after all. Otherwise, this place would have been closed a long time ago. But never mind that, maybe I should infiltrate this place? All I'd have to do is dress up, and then act as mindless as they are! Or wait, maybe as a camper? If I do that, then it would definitely look less suspicious if I ask questions. I'd just want to know about this place as a "camper". Right, I'll do that then! I just need to find the registration office and then sign up. It shouldn't be a problem. There was that guy managing the entrance - since he let me in, he'd probably be able to help me join the camper program too.
Let's see, it was this way, right? Huh? I can't go any further? There's someone's power keeping me trapped here... It can't be, this place is actually a prison camp!? Then the children who were brought here... No, I'll definitely figure out some way to shut this place down. For the sake of the other children, I will fulfill my mission!
Poll Vote!
Character: Kurikara Ryuoh
Series: Yami no Matsuei
Character Age: Unknown, but looks 13
Canon: In Yami no Matsuei, Gensoukai is a separate dimension inside the internet where gods dwell. These gods can be summoned after a recipient passes their test. Kurikara Ryuoh is one of these 'Shikigami' and is thought to be one of the most powerful. After losing to another great dragon in a battle, he was banished from Gensoukai and trapped in his own desert dimension along with his supporters.
When incited, Kurikara is fierce, passionate, and aggressive as you would expect of a fire dragon. However, when surrounded by water, despite his weakness against it, he calms considerably. His explosive temper is usually short-lived unless a person did something serious to warrant his wrath. Ever since he was banished, he's been irritable and hermitic. He has a general hatred for humans and especially detests any human who attempts a conversation of equals. He has a powerful ki, the energy of living things, that when unleashed destroys living tissue. Normally, Kurikara carries around two sentient swords at all times. They will be absent in camp.
Sample Post:
Hmph. So much for searching. If my swords were anywhere within this dimension, I'd feel them. I can't. And they're not returning my calls. Not that the forest's spirit was any help. 'Long distance calls are not permitted.' The hell's that supposed to mean anyway?
Without my swords here, it's been annoying. Those zombies wouldn't be affected by my divine ki, but it's nothing a normal sword can't handle. It's the other wildlife that won't leave me the hell alone. Those psychic birds for one lied about where a swimming hole was. Honestly, if you're going to run away don't mess with me to begin with! Stay and die! As for the rest of the water laying about, it's fetid liked you'd expect in a swamp. Heh. Beats the hell out of a desert dimension, but not by much. The humidity makes my hair lose what little volume it had. That's really irritating.
Anyway, I can't tear a way out of here. Whoever built this place put an incredible barrier on it. I hate it. I wish I could go back home. I still don't understand how a wormhole changed its destination so quickly. It was supposed to lead to Gensoukai, not to a den of pies. Damn humans were gawking with me ankle-deep in their fresh pies. No one stopped me from leaving through the door, which was considerate of them. Downside is that I'm still sticky and itchy from that, which makes not finding clean water even more annoying. I saw the hot spring, but some more humans were using it. Have I fallen into the human world? No, there's too many things that don't belong.
Who ever heard of singing plants? Of drooping trees budding clothes?? Or sparkles suddenly hanging flashing insults? Damn incorporeal things tagged me until they got bored or something. Not that many of their insults were very insulting. Of course my hair isn't that long. I just cut it. Who cares?
But 'Human Lover', hah! Any friend or foe says that to my face, they'd meet my sword!! Damnit, why aren't my swords with me? The hell did the forest spirit snicker when I asked it? Not that it matters much. I burned some of it down. That should have been enough of a warning for the rest of the inhabitants. Too bad the stupid ones don't get it. Those purple gorillas. At least they've backed the hell off after I charred one of their friends. Trying to handle me like that, it's fair retribution. They should have sent a letter declaring their love like Anonymous, though it'd meet the same fate, reduced to ashes. Fatality could've been avoided, not that I really care. I'll burn however many idiots I need to until they stop coming.
Poll Vote!
Character: Mikah
Series: The Forge of Dawn
Character Age: Looks 20-ish (actually 4,000)
Canon: Kastor Auberlane is sure that the world has finally left him alone when suddenly a crazy and pretty Mara named Mikah shows up to remind him of his past. The celestial is having brother problems and seems hell-bent on recruiting his own D&D-like party to take care of it. The fate of the world might just hang in the balance as well but at the end of the day that's not near as important as the budding relationship between the two pretty men.
Mikah is from a race of creatures called Mara that do not age physically or mentally. This tends to make them playful and willful like children with too much power. Mikah himself loves to laugh and be happy even in the oddest moments. He does not fully understand things like emotions and this sometimes makes him act a little strange but he is one of the most human-like members of his race. He learns to love through the years and however much he tries to hide this underneath senseless glittering and games he is never as cruel as other Mara.
Sample Post:
I think I have spent more than enough time in these woods to form an opinion and I must request to speak to your Director immediately.
What? Do I want to fight them to the death and free everyone here? Of course not! What sort of madness would that be! I must thank them of course. Never have I seen such wonderful sights as these! Undead that break into beautifully choreographed shambling walks, colourful birds with such interesting things to say and assortment of vegetation and creatures that provide the funniest games to mortals with orifices! Bravo, bravo! Your Director must certainly take a bow!
Now, even with such wonderful attractions, I do admit that quite a bit could be done to spice the location up. For one the variety of species offered here is not nearly as diverse as it could be. Why settle for simple avian conversations when one can have an entire zoo of animals to invade ones thoughts? Just imagine what carnivores could do with such a skill! The unfair advantage mortals are given by these "car" things could certainly be fixed when a lion knows exactly where you left your keys.
The beautiful transformations offered to the lucky residents here might also need some changes. I'm sure turning into a child or a woman must bore people after the first few times. The inter-species transformations were a good step forward but why stop there? There are so many different unnatural states to experiment with! You have not experienced true freedom until you've been turned into fire for a day! Bears in hats never look at you quite the same of course but it is very worth it.
These are of course only modest proposals. It does seem like your Director is doing just fine with the improvements herself. Why just in the time I've been here new and wonderful things have appeared! The half human- half rainbow creature I saw pass by just a moment was quite impressive. The ear shattering scream it was giving off in delight was- Oh, it was actually being punished for mooning the barrier? But then why was there a rainbow protruding from it's bottom half?
....I didn't know rainbows could go there. Marvellous Indeed!
Poll Vote!
Remember!
- Applicants, respond anonymously.
- If you're going to do the whole "ask me if I voted you out!" thing, please state who you voted out.
- No speculating about the identity of the applicants!
Now VOTE. Closed!
Character: Yamada Taro
Series: Yamada Taro Monogatari (drama version)
Character Age: 17
Canon: Sometimes in this world the ducks are really swans and the frogs are really royalty - other times, the rich, handsome, popular, athletic ‘prince’ at your school is really Yamada Taro, a scholarship student who spends all his free time as a penny pinching, food obsessed mom to his 6 bothers and sisters who all live in a shack in the suburbs of Tokyo. Life is funny that way.
Taro’s got the passion, eagerness, patience, affection and frugal sensibility to make any soccer-mom blush, and he’s endlessly kind and giving to boot. Devoting his life to his family and loved ones, Taro stops at nothing to come through in the end. The only thing perhaps that can rival Taro's love for family though, is his love for food. He’s incredibly interested in the farming sciences, wishing to use his skills so that everyone can always have delicious, inexpensive things to eat. Not to mention he's more likely to remember you for the smell of what you had for breakfast than for your face.
Incredibly optimistic and uncomplaining, it's hard to tell Taro’s experienced any hardship at all. One day his relative kind hearted naiveté will probably get the best of him - until then, I'm sure he'd be glad to knit you a nice new pair of socks from inexpensive, lightly recycled yarn.
Sample:
I know this is the discount course, but when the brochure said that I could ‘Study agriculture deep amidst the beautiful Louisiana landscape, ripe with exciting flora and fauna not found anywhere else in the world!’, I should have known there was probably a catch. Not that I'm complaining, this has been an amazing experience!
I'm learning a lot I think, even without anyone to guide me like I'd hoped. I planted some things that looked alright after I built my shelter, and some of them have already born fruit! A few of the strawberries have been trying to bite me, but I'm hoping that just means they're fresh. Tomorrow I'll try harvesting the breed that look like red carrots. They're about the size of my arm, and don't seem dangerous at all! I've been taking a lot of notes, and hopefully I can duplicate the experiments at home. We'll never have to buy fruit again if I can! They may even protect us from burglars!
I've been doing my best to keep things away from my camp, and I even think that if I just fortify it a little bit more, my hut may withstand another attack from the undead - and that would really be for the best, because I don’t think I’ll get lucky enough for them to stumble in to my strawberry patch more than once. I almost felt sorry for them.
Too bad Kazuo isn't here. I'll bet he'd really think this was great! Maybe he wouldn't wish we could afford video games if he could see a zombie for himself. I'll definitely take a picture and bring it home! The guys will be really amazed~! What a cool big brother to fight off the undead!
I think tomorrow I'll try to wander further into the woods. There have to be other people around besides the zombies and the monkeys that keep trying to steal my turnips, and I need to find them so that I can get to my flight home on time. It's about the day for me to leave and it'll really be a bother if I miss the flight back because I got held up with something trying to murder me or steal my things. So please, if you get this message and know where the organizers of this program are, direct me to them! I said I'd be home the day after tomorrow, and being lost in the middle of nowhere without a phone, transportation, or contact with the outside world is no excuse for breaking a promise!
Poll Vote!
Name: Ophelia
Age: Unknown, but appears to be 18-21
Series: Claymore
Canon: Claymore's world is filled with many monsters called "yoma"- grey, ugly creatures that feed on the flesh of humans, and can assume the appearance of any person they have devoured. This, of course, makes them horribly hard to track down, and even harder, to kill; especially in this very backwater world. Fearing death, villages who have been taken over by yoma have only one thing they can rely on; an organization with its main focus being to exterminate the existence of yoma. This organization and the people who it is comprised of don't have any sort of name- but due to the giant swords they carry, people call them 'Claymore'.
The Claymore are half-human half-yoma; feared by all, but relied on for their strength and efficiency in killing yoma. By releasing their yoma power, their strength and defense increase exponentially, and some can even do so much as regenerate their limbs. There is a price to pay for this power, however: the more power you use, the more you risk going over your limit and becoming a yoma yourself. Those who do go over their limit come out as something even stronger and more terrifying than what they were created to destroy. These are 'Awakened Beings'.
Initially, Ophelia presents herself as a polite (if a bit blunt sometimes), well-mannered individual. This, however, is partially just a mask; inside, she is a twisted, rude person. At most times, her real happiness is either when she's killing Awakened Ones or playing sadistic "games" with her fellow Claymore. She does, however, detest the idea of awakening herself, as her family was killed by one. While with this particular Awakened Being didn't pose a threat to her, not knowing this, her brother used himself as a "distraction" while she escaped. Rather than being thankful, she gets irrationally angry whenever she remembers this, furious at her brother for "leaving her behind".
In all, Ophelia isn't a horrible person, just a seriously messed up one. And while there doesn't always seem to be much of a difference, in the end, it seems to be what counts.
Sample post:
My, my. This is certainly an… interesting place you've got going here. And what a lovely little set up! The pink banner clashes so terribly with the environment that your eyes barely register the hideous background at all! 'Camp Fuck You, Die'? Is this some kind of joke?
Ah, where are my manners? Now, I must apologize for acting so hostile towards you earlier. I had assumed you were some form of beast, until your green friend in the black suit corrected me. I didn't know you were simply suffering from… ah, what did he say it was? Vitamin deficiency? Is this land seriously so barren that these stupid people can't even find proper food? While I cannot offer you anything to make up for this error, I hope that you will find it in your hearts to forgive me.
Ah--! What-- what the hell are you doing? I meant figuratively, you fucking morons! If you wanted to die so badly, you could have just let me kill you all without all that incessant whining. Shoving pieces of paper in my face is no way to welcome the person who's going to save your miserable lives. The AZL? The American Zombie League? Half of those words don't make any fucking sense, and who would support a bunch of deteriorating freaks in the middle of nowhere!? And the "over 9000 members" line would be much more impressive if they weren't obviously completely comprised of your own kind.
Now, if you don't mind, and wish to continue living, I suggest you evacuate the premises immediately. I couldn't care less if you get killed by dancing in front of my sword and no, I don't think you can, stop asking, but for your own good, this will be your only warning. All damages that will occur are not my fault nor the Organization's. Any objections?
Wh- stop swinging those gavels around! The strap won't stop it from flying out of your hand, either, you stupid creature! I asked if there were any objections to be polite, but clearly that gesture is lost on you! Put those things down and shut up! Tch- stop making those pathetic faces at me; it's a major turn-off!
... That expression isn't exactly what I had in mind, either.
Poll Vote!
Character name: T-elos
Series: Xenosaga (Ep. III)
Age: Looks 18
Canon: Note: App contains spoilers.
What do you get when you mix salty aliens from another dimension,
forced reincarnation via the internet and robots who hook up to God
for use as a battery? I'll tell you. Add some Jung and Wagner, and
what you get is a fruity cocktail known as Xenosaga. T-elos is a
battle android made to replace and surpass KOS-MOS, a weapon created
to fight off the mysterious aliens that threaten humanity called
"gnosis", but was built by a competing company called Ganador. She
antagonizes the main characters (as antagonists will) throughout the
third game, attempting to destroy KOS-MOS at every turn in order to
absorb her consciousness.
Arrogant and with a noticeable superiority complex, T-elos is
sadistic, impatient, and has the occasional urge to monologue, showing
the full range of emotions her prototype, KOS-MOS, lacks and usually
mocks KOS-MOS for her mechanical demeanor while waiting for the stupid
damn heroes to stop hitting her uselessly so she can make sum android
barbecue. Unlike KOS-MOS who considers herself a weapon and carries
out her daily tasks with the efficiency and complacency of a machine,
T-elos is vain, cocky and arrogant, and is KOS-MOS's diametric
opposite with her left-handedness and skankier color scheme of doom.
Her only desire is to fulfill the wishes of her designer, complete
with professionally-constructed melodramatic prose and a wide
assortment of robot pwnage.
Sample Entry: So it's come to this. I am the superior, true
anti-gnosis unit, here to replace that useless prototype. Where is
the accommodation in this uncivilized pit? Unbelievable! Reduced to
chasing that pathetic doll through time and space, only to find
her here, rusting in a stinking muddy hellhole full of special-needs
children and mutated humans like this one, dragging their own rotting
carcasses to and fro. Just like all the others: nothing but a
disappointment. How cute. You're barely worth the time it would take
to destroy you. Perhaps you crave brainmeat to sate the empty feeling
from your inferior cerebral capacity. I find it disgusting, how even
the lowliest of men and women somehow manage to be vain, and even the
greatest manage to be foolish. What is it that enforces such folly...?
If it is pride, then that would mean defeat is a panacea for all sins.
Very well then, I will save you, if that is your wish. Through the
face of oblivion, all veils and delusions fall away. Killing is only
wrong when it is at the wrong moment.
While I have no intentions of dirtying my hands for you people, it
seems to be the quickest way of completing this ridiculous
puzzle to get this entrance into the encampment open, then I can
finally get my hands that defective toy. And I'll destroy her
after I find and punish whoever replaced my pistol with this
"tsunde-ray" during my transfer. The fact that is uses over 9000
joules is enough of a reason to simply use it as a club, rather than
it's apparent intended purpose. This undoubtedly makes you all happy.
Excessive violence is funny, no? Come now, are you really so dense
that you can't fight back, or even move when I hit you? How utterly...
pitiful. Please, amuse me! There is no salvation or damnation; only
the endless prelude of eternity! If you think you know, you are
suffering a delusion. Any truth you have managed to chain your feeble
mind into believing is a falsehood... for in the lack of knowing
everything, you truly do not know anything.
... You there, with the chewed-off lips; you're no longer needed. I've
gotten enough of your feeble zombie wills into the Human Soul
Containment Unit™. Have you had enough of this delusion of
"fun"? If not, then I can always indulge you some more. No? As
I thought. Really, I would call your life a joke, but ultimately a
joke is far more relevant than the macrocosm which has birthed it. The
reason I exist is to save imbeciles like you lot from your own
weak and easily misled minds. I must defeat my lesser self and bring
the earth to its knees, because that is the right thing to do.
... Right after I've completed this "minigame".
Poll Vote!
Character: Kurookano Shijima
Series: Nabari no Ou.
Character Age: Appears to be in her teens.
Canon: In Nabari no Ou there are two worlds. The Front World, where normal people live out their everyday lives, and the world of ninjas: Nabari. Nabari is split up into several opposing ninja villages, each with different teaching styles and goals. Some take assassination jobs, some collect secret techniques, and some get their friends free cable. Almost all of them are after the power known as Shinrabanshou, which possesses the power to shape the world to the user's will. It's recently awakened inside the body of the indifferent Rokujo Miharu, sending the world of Nabari into chaos over who will obtain his power first.
Kurookano Shijima first appears as a student at the Alya Academy of the Koga village- or so we think. She certainly seems not exactly as human as the other students of the ninja village, almost animal-like in her attack form and hardly fazed by anything. Despite being a member of the student counsel, Shijima doesn't seem very interested in any of her duties. Or anything at all, for that matter (which says a lot when dealing with ninja death matches of super-jutsus). She doesn't have much patience for people, and would much rather fall asleep on the ground than show guests around the area. Her experience often leads her to expect the worse of people, and doesn't hesitate to point out someone's failures in the harshest way. Despite this, she does still like certain people, though her affection is usually very guarded. It's later revealed that the reason for her inhuman behavior is that [spoilers] she's an immortal creature that began life as a cat that was later given a human heart by one of the previous Shinrabanshou users. [/spoilers]
Sample Post:
Oh look. You've messed up my towel again. This experience would be more enjoyable if the beach was more water proof, I don't know who would want to get me wet when there's all this sand around; I can't even sunbathe when it's like that. Most would keep a tarp or something helpful laying around here to keep things dry. Your planning skills are quite lacking. Stop that moaning sound, what's wrong with you? I assumed that if you had a pre-made picnic lunch in that chest you pulled up, you might have some tarps down there too. Are you sure you checked the one next to the pink-green algae? Stop flailing your tentacles every time I say something, or I can just go somewhere with less annoying residents. Fine, if I have to, I'll settle with towels.
Stop giving me that pathetic look, I am not going to approach you to apply any sunscreen on your tentacles. You do not need it with your skin type, and I am not coming any closer to that water. It doesn't matter if I'm the only one around to do it, your actual motives are obvious. If you insist I will put the bugspray on for you later. From a distance. You did fish the tuna out of the lake for me, I suppose I can do that much for you, even if you are a worthless picnic companion. Don't make me regret actually obeying that sign at the pool that said cats weren't allowed until Saturday. Now, what happened to that jar of mustard? The taste will be off if those eyeballs I was preserving are gone, but it should be good enough.
And as for you gorillas, my back is fine. You should stop touching it. As I said the last three times, I have no need to be 'lotioned up', so stop coming near me. That area would constitute a 'bad touch' in the US territories and I have no qualms about initiating self-defense. I should just eat my sandwich and sleep off that toucan I had earlier. It was very noisy going down, but I was hungry. The detached limbs I found on the ground seemed a little too ripe, and fowl's always better than week-old human. That building outside the woods that claimed to be a five-star restaurant only had 'Delicious Braaaiiinsss' for the afternoon, and it was overpriced. The goats serving weren't trained well, attacking costumers in hormonal rages.
I think I'll take my nap early. Keep those eyes out in case someone comes by, they should still be by the mustard. Do wake me up if those rotting people run into the gorillas and lose any livers. I need to have something for dinner.
Poll Vote!
Character: Jenny Sparks
Series: The Authority
Character Age: Physically 19. Actually 99 and 364 days.
Canon: There is a chosen one. One girl in all the world with the strengths and skills to-no, wait, wrong blonde, sorry. Jenny Sparks is the Spirit of the Twentieth Century, imbued with all sorts of awesome electricity powers and shaping major world events through her very existence. Her parents died on the Titanic, her godfather was Albert Einstein, and she suggested a crap Austrian painter of her acquaintance consider a career in politics. You may have heard of him. Name of Hitler. In the last year of her life, Jenny decided to form a team of the greatest superhumans Earth had ever seen, to strive for a finer world and kick the odd alien threat in the balls. This was the Authority. It included a ruthless killing machine and his boyfriend the overpowered Superman analogue, a woman who replaced her blood with nine pints of liquid machinery FOR SCIENCE, and a magician on a global scale (who was also a pothead), all of whom were kind of scared of Jenny.
Jenny is a foul-mouthed, chainsmoking, hard-drinking, promiscuously bisexual blonde with one of the poshest British accents you will ever hear. What exactly that says about the twentieth century is up to you. All she wants is a finer world, and that the world persists in sucking despite her best efforts is very depressing to her. She's an old woman in a young woman's body, and sick of it, and to that end she takes it out on those around her. While persisting in not turning into a supervillain. She is, in short, an enormously bitter bitch. And she likes it that way.
Note: On December 31, 1999, at 11:59 PM Greenwich Mean Time, Jenny died after electrocuting the closest thing her reality had to God to death, Texas prison-style. I will be taking Jenny from directly following her death.
Sample Post:
Right, then. I'm reasonably sure this isn't heaven, since they probably don't let you in there after you kill God. Don't get me wrong, it's certainly hot enough to be hell, but I'd expect more fire and brimstone if that were the case. It's a sad excuse for an afterlife, at any rate, but if I can find a pack of cigarettes and someone to shag, things will be looking up...oh, hello there. I say, you're looking a bit green around the gills, aren't you? If you heard that bit about the shagging, I'm not that desperate, but if you've got a pack of Silk Cuts anywhere on you I don't suppose I could bum one? No? Well, then I'll be on my-no, you have to let me by for me to leave, you see, because if you don't-well, that's rather fascinating. Tell me, are you aware you don't have a bioelectrical field?
Would you like to have one?
Anyone else? No? I rather didn't think so. I'll be on my way now, and if one of you fine fellows would be kind enough to stop twitching and smoking long enough to point the way toward civilization-and by 'civilization' I of course mean 'somewhere I can get a bloody cigarette'-that would be smashing. What's that? I couldn't quite hear through the moaning. Did you say 'Marlboro?' What on Earth makes you think I would smoke one of those foul things? I'm not Jeroen. I must not have zapped you hard enough; your brain still isn't working. Here, let me fix that.
Are we done here? I think we're done here. I'd say thanks for the help, but you have in fact been staggeringly unhelpful. Get-what are you doing, get your hand off my ankle or I'll kick your fingers off. You want something? What is it, Lassie, Timmy's down the well? No? You want...you want me to electrocute you again. Please don't tell me you enjoyed that. Oh. You did.
...
If I do, will you point me toward somewhere I can get a bloody cigarette? Was that a yes? Then we have a deal, my shambling friend. Here goes nothing...
Poll Vote!
Character: Meguro Gau
Series: Nabari no Ou
Character Age: 16
Canon: Nabari no Ou tells the tale of a boy whose become the vessel of the Shinrabanshou (aka Ultimate Knowledge, basically). Taking place in modern Japan, the world of ninja is, for the most part, hidden from the "front" world. But with the awakening of the Shinrabanshou, the ninja villages have begun to move in the hopes of obtaining its power, including the organization Kairoushuu.
For the most part, Meguro Gau is a normal person, who ended up involved with ninja mostly by chance and being saved by Kairoushuu swordsman Raikou. Gau is idealistic almost to a fault, believing in justice and the possibility of obtaining "true justice". He always aims for politeness, though he can be rather outspoken as well - at least until he is knocked back into place. Within the Kairoushuu, when he's not at school, he does simple things such as writing reports for Raikou-san, as well as tag along during Raikou-san's missions. He considers Raikou-san the most important person in his life and tries to help him as much as possible. But Gau tends to want the best for people in general, and to make things right, even if it means killing the criminals to bring peace.
Sample App:
August XX, 20XX
I, Meguro Gau, have finally arrived at Camp- ...at Camp- how vulgar! ....Camp Fudd. Hmph! No matter how you look at it, this is definitely a suspicious place. A so-called summer camp in the middle of nowhere, with illegally-imported animals and lunatics dressing up as undead - there must be underhanded dealings going on to keep this place from being shut down! Well, no matter. With me on the case, I'll definitely reveal everything and help bring about justice. Since this is something I can do, I must do it to the best of my ability. The leader has put his faith in me for this, after all!
But where to start... the important thing is to gather information, so if I ask around, I'll surely discover something. I'll start with the employees and then work to the "campers". Someone is bound to slip. Right! I'll start with that guy over in the half-brained costume.
Hey, excuse me, sir, I'm sorry for interrupting your work, but I have a couple of questions to ask-- ah! Just a moment! Please don't walk away! It won't take long at all, I promise! You see, it's for a school report; I'm writing about American summer camps and their influence, and I need information on the inner workings. If you could just tell me about the administration here, as well as your opinions, it would be really helpful. Please, I beg you, it's really important. I really need to do well on this paper, or else I'll fail my class! Eh- Hey, why is everyone walking away? Wait, come back! They're all going in different directions. Should I follow the first man, or...?
Hmm, this is harder than I thought... but I won't give up! I should have known it wouldn't be so easy after all. Otherwise, this place would have been closed a long time ago. But never mind that, maybe I should infiltrate this place? All I'd have to do is dress up, and then act as mindless as they are! Or wait, maybe as a camper? If I do that, then it would definitely look less suspicious if I ask questions. I'd just want to know about this place as a "camper". Right, I'll do that then! I just need to find the registration office and then sign up. It shouldn't be a problem. There was that guy managing the entrance - since he let me in, he'd probably be able to help me join the camper program too.
Let's see, it was this way, right? Huh? I can't go any further? There's someone's power keeping me trapped here... It can't be, this place is actually a prison camp!? Then the children who were brought here... No, I'll definitely figure out some way to shut this place down. For the sake of the other children, I will fulfill my mission!
Poll Vote!
Character: Kurikara Ryuoh
Series: Yami no Matsuei
Character Age: Unknown, but looks 13
Canon: In Yami no Matsuei, Gensoukai is a separate dimension inside the internet where gods dwell. These gods can be summoned after a recipient passes their test. Kurikara Ryuoh is one of these 'Shikigami' and is thought to be one of the most powerful. After losing to another great dragon in a battle, he was banished from Gensoukai and trapped in his own desert dimension along with his supporters.
When incited, Kurikara is fierce, passionate, and aggressive as you would expect of a fire dragon. However, when surrounded by water, despite his weakness against it, he calms considerably. His explosive temper is usually short-lived unless a person did something serious to warrant his wrath. Ever since he was banished, he's been irritable and hermitic. He has a general hatred for humans and especially detests any human who attempts a conversation of equals. He has a powerful ki, the energy of living things, that when unleashed destroys living tissue. Normally, Kurikara carries around two sentient swords at all times. They will be absent in camp.
Sample Post:
Hmph. So much for searching. If my swords were anywhere within this dimension, I'd feel them. I can't. And they're not returning my calls. Not that the forest's spirit was any help. 'Long distance calls are not permitted.' The hell's that supposed to mean anyway?
Without my swords here, it's been annoying. Those zombies wouldn't be affected by my divine ki, but it's nothing a normal sword can't handle. It's the other wildlife that won't leave me the hell alone. Those psychic birds for one lied about where a swimming hole was. Honestly, if you're going to run away don't mess with me to begin with! Stay and die! As for the rest of the water laying about, it's fetid liked you'd expect in a swamp. Heh. Beats the hell out of a desert dimension, but not by much. The humidity makes my hair lose what little volume it had. That's really irritating.
Anyway, I can't tear a way out of here. Whoever built this place put an incredible barrier on it. I hate it. I wish I could go back home. I still don't understand how a wormhole changed its destination so quickly. It was supposed to lead to Gensoukai, not to a den of pies. Damn humans were gawking with me ankle-deep in their fresh pies. No one stopped me from leaving through the door, which was considerate of them. Downside is that I'm still sticky and itchy from that, which makes not finding clean water even more annoying. I saw the hot spring, but some more humans were using it. Have I fallen into the human world? No, there's too many things that don't belong.
Who ever heard of singing plants? Of drooping trees budding clothes?? Or sparkles suddenly hanging flashing insults? Damn incorporeal things tagged me until they got bored or something. Not that many of their insults were very insulting. Of course my hair isn't that long. I just cut it. Who cares?
But 'Human Lover', hah! Any friend or foe says that to my face, they'd meet my sword!! Damnit, why aren't my swords with me? The hell did the forest spirit snicker when I asked it? Not that it matters much. I burned some of it down. That should have been enough of a warning for the rest of the inhabitants. Too bad the stupid ones don't get it. Those purple gorillas. At least they've backed the hell off after I charred one of their friends. Trying to handle me like that, it's fair retribution. They should have sent a letter declaring their love like Anonymous, though it'd meet the same fate, reduced to ashes. Fatality could've been avoided, not that I really care. I'll burn however many idiots I need to until they stop coming.
Poll Vote!
Character: Mikah
Series: The Forge of Dawn
Character Age: Looks 20-ish (actually 4,000)
Canon: Kastor Auberlane is sure that the world has finally left him alone when suddenly a crazy and pretty Mara named Mikah shows up to remind him of his past. The celestial is having brother problems and seems hell-bent on recruiting his own D&D-like party to take care of it. The fate of the world might just hang in the balance as well but at the end of the day that's not near as important as the budding relationship between the two pretty men.
Mikah is from a race of creatures called Mara that do not age physically or mentally. This tends to make them playful and willful like children with too much power. Mikah himself loves to laugh and be happy even in the oddest moments. He does not fully understand things like emotions and this sometimes makes him act a little strange but he is one of the most human-like members of his race. He learns to love through the years and however much he tries to hide this underneath senseless glittering and games he is never as cruel as other Mara.
Sample Post:
I think I have spent more than enough time in these woods to form an opinion and I must request to speak to your Director immediately.
What? Do I want to fight them to the death and free everyone here? Of course not! What sort of madness would that be! I must thank them of course. Never have I seen such wonderful sights as these! Undead that break into beautifully choreographed shambling walks, colourful birds with such interesting things to say and assortment of vegetation and creatures that provide the funniest games to mortals with orifices! Bravo, bravo! Your Director must certainly take a bow!
Now, even with such wonderful attractions, I do admit that quite a bit could be done to spice the location up. For one the variety of species offered here is not nearly as diverse as it could be. Why settle for simple avian conversations when one can have an entire zoo of animals to invade ones thoughts? Just imagine what carnivores could do with such a skill! The unfair advantage mortals are given by these "car" things could certainly be fixed when a lion knows exactly where you left your keys.
The beautiful transformations offered to the lucky residents here might also need some changes. I'm sure turning into a child or a woman must bore people after the first few times. The inter-species transformations were a good step forward but why stop there? There are so many different unnatural states to experiment with! You have not experienced true freedom until you've been turned into fire for a day! Bears in hats never look at you quite the same of course but it is very worth it.
These are of course only modest proposals. It does seem like your Director is doing just fine with the improvements herself. Why just in the time I've been here new and wonderful things have appeared! The half human- half rainbow creature I saw pass by just a moment was quite impressive. The ear shattering scream it was giving off in delight was- Oh, it was actually being punished for mooning the barrier? But then why was there a rainbow protruding from it's bottom half?
....I didn't know rainbows could go there. Marvellous Indeed!
Poll Vote!