(no subject)
HEY GUYS, guess what? This is the last batch! Thank you for being really awesome this round and voting quickly and whatnot. We appreciate it!
Remember!
- Applicants, respond anonymously.
- If you're going to do the whole "ask me if I voted you out!" thing, please state who you voted out.
- No speculating about the identity of the applicants!
Now VOTE. Eh, good enough. Closed!
Character: Fuko Ibuki
Series: Clannad
Character Age: 15
Canon: Clannad, the third of the KEY Studio's dating sims to be animated by Kyoto Animation, is an anime that rests somewhere between slice of life, and romance of the harem variety. There's also a bit of fantasy to it, but only around certain characters and sub-plots. It follows Tomoya’s adventures picking up various chicks and solving all their problems one by one, making you lol and ’awww’ all along the way. But, like it’s predecessors AIR and Kanon 2006, many of Clannad’s storylines - even the happy-endings - are crying material.
Fuko Ibuki, the first side character for us to follow to story of, is a big bundle of starfish moe. By which I mean not only is she completely adorable herself, but she is also a big fan of starfish - enough to go into a joyful daze if she thinks about them too long. Fuko, while none-too-bright and very childish at all times (cutesy speech patterns and talking in 3rd person) is a very determined girl, heart-set on making the people she loves happy, in her own, unique ways. In fact, it’s this determination that allows her to appear from nowhere, mahou-shoujo style, and attempt to cheer people up when she deems it necessary.
Sample Post:
Fuko appears!
… W-where has Fuko appeared? It’s all slimy-slimy and green. And so are the people here! Are they the ones in need of assistance? Fuko will try her best to help, but Fuko… Can’t really tell what these people need. You look very thin! Did you know that it is unhealthy to be too thin? Fuko read it in a magazine. Clearly you are not eating healthily! That is probably why you are all green and why your skin is falling off. Don’t worry, Fuko thinks there is more to a person than looks.
Oh, Fuko is being very rude! … … Well. A little bit rude. Not very rude. Just a teeny bit. Fuko is one of the nicest people around, she just forgets introductions sometimes. Lately, this is okay, because people will not remember Fuko. Fuko isn‘t sad, though. Well, just this once, Fuko will introduce herself. Nice to meet you, Strange Person! Fuko’s name is Fuko Ibuki, and Strange Person’s name is?
Brains is a very strange name. Fuko has never heard of anyone named Brains. Clearly you meant Brians. Right? Yes, Fuko thought so. You just have a speech impedi… ment. Impediment. Fuko will try to teach you later, how to say Brians properly. That’s an American name, you know. Fuko knows all about American culture. Brians, you must be a foreigner! Fuko will try her best to get around the language barrier! There are no barriers that can stop Fuko! Everyone has told her that she is Japan’s number one at using hand motions to get across her point. Except for people who know sign language. Fuko does not know sign language.
What does Brians need help with? Are you lost? Fuko imagines it is very easy to get lost in a place like this. Don’t worry, Fuko will lead you to civilization. This way! Yes, Fuko is pointing, but you don’t have to point too. Don’t look so confused, Fuko was using very obvious symbolism in those motions!
… Yes, Fuko sees that there is a sign, and that the sign is pointing the other way. Fuko knew that. Fuko was testing you, to make sure you are worthy of her help. Brians passed, so you can have this. Here, take it. N-no, not Fuko’s arm, don’t gnaw on Fuko’s arm! The carving, the carving! Fuko requires assistance, Fuko requires assistance with the person for assisting!
Poll Vote!
Character: Jiang Wei (Boyue)
Series: Koei’s Warriors Orochi
Age: 19
Canon: So, a thousand years after a bunch of Chinese guys killed each other, some Japanese guys killed each other too! And then a few hundred years later some other guys decided that it’d be cool to make a game where both of those other groups of guys get sucked into another dimension by a demon and ALL kill each other! Sounds awesome, right?! Well, one of those Chinese guys in particular is Jiang Wei, an (I quote) “honest and sincere” young strategist who is… kind of like that smart kid in your class that doesn’t understand why he’s picked last for sports? A bit of a mama’s boy, teacher’s pet, etc. etc. You know the one.
But anyway, there’s a lot more to him than that. With a serious nature and a strong belief in being polite and respectful, Jiang Wei can be seen as one of the less outspoken officers in the game, though this doesn’t make him any less of an asset to the armies of Shu. In fact, his love of learning and his eagerness to prove himself as an exceptional strategist would one day make him one of the most powerful men in China… if he wasn’t kidnapped by that demon of course. But as Koei said, his most obvious characteristic just might be his honest determination, as it plays a contrast to his deceptive and deliberate teacher, Zhuge Liang. Unfortunately, Jiang Wei is forced to spend most of the game attempting to reconcile his loyalty to his kingdom and his loyalty to his master after the old traitor decides to join forces with their demonic enemy.
Sample Post:
Truly I am thankful for your hospitality, Masters Grrgll and Hnnnnngh. The tea and sandwiches were quite… exotic. And I am sure once my soldiers return from the sudden rush to use the latrines they will tell you how wonderful the meat- fruit?- …food was. As proper acts of courtesy apply even to those of such extensive states of decay, I’m afraid I have no time for such distractions as fingerfoods myself if I am to now begin repaying you for the kindness you have shown in allowing us to rest inside your- what did you call it? oh, yes- your “Love Cave.”
In the morning, we will make for our camp, but for now I believe we may be able to do you some good here, particularly in regards to the rivalry you seem to have developed with the native primates. Unfortunately, with their size in numbers and body, my men would likely not be able to take them with too forward an action, so I believe our best plan would be to deceive them instead. If I were to take my unit and tuck it back out of sight within the surroundings, we could devise several methods of drawing the gorillas in toward this cavern’s entrance under a false belief of conquest. (Also, if needed, I believe several of us could chant along with the music floating from the treetops, so that the enemy would hear us bringing sexy back and would believe us to only be part of the wildlife.) Then, at their moment of supposed victory as they attempt to enter your Love Cave, the unit will spring forth and they will realize too late that it is in fact a trap!
Oh, you don’t like that one… That’s fine. I have another idea. So, ah, judging from their tendency to mount just about anything, even if it doesn’t even vaguely resemble their own species, I believe that the gorillas have very poor eyesight. So if I was to somehow use wool or some other material to fill clothing in such a way as to make my unit appear larger than it is, we could-
You don’t like that one either? All- All right. If we were to… build a large wooden badger-
I’m sorry, sirs; if this is not how you wish me to repay my debt, then I am not sure what I can do for you! I am little learned outside of the areas of scholarship and battle! …then again, I suppose now that you have pointed out the dishware, I can admit that I am not completely unskilled in the making of good tea; though the rest of the items you’re giving me look somewhat troubling. Tell me, are all maid uniforms here so black and frilly and… short?
Poll Vote!
Character: Tobias
Series: Animorphs
Character Age: 16
Canon: Animorphs is about five teenagers and one alien versus another alien species that is secretly invading by taking over minds and using bodies as hosts. The odds may suck, but the Animorphs do have one advantage: they each have the ability to morph into any animal whose DNA they acquire (by touching them) for 2 hours. However, if they go over the time limit, they get stuck in the morph forever.
Prior to gaining the morphing ability, Tobias was a bit of a loner; he was shy, introverted, and kind of strange, making him a target for bullies. His home situation (or lack thereof) forced him to take care of himself, and it made him feel unwanted and out of place. As a result of this, he fully embraces the morphing ability, becoming a more confident person as he had found a cause to fight for. He favored the morph of a red-tailed hawk, due to the ability to fly, and was often hesitant to morph back into a human because he felt 'trapped.' But after overstaying the 2 hour time limit, Tobias struggles with his own identity, as the human part of him and the hawk instinct are in constant conflict. It is a lurking fear to him that he is losing his humanity, but over time he comes to terms with the two instincts that are within him, despite it all.
As he became more comfortable with his situation, he becomes more open with the other Animorphs, and his personality changed a bit as well. He became bolder, and was able to make jokes about his situation, as well as delivering some snappy comebacks to Marco's jokes.
Sample Post:
Okay, what, OW. Just… OW.
That… that doesn't even make sense! Glass? Did I just fly into glass? No way, that's totally impossible. I mean… I'm a hawk. Us hawks, we've got amazing vision. Our eyes are awesome. I could read the time off your watch when I'm soaring half a mile up, that's how good my eyes are. I'm not one of those dumb pigeons that just crashes into your kitchen window one day while you're making lunch. It's not that I'm trying to brag or anything… it's just true. There is no way, no WAY, that I just flew into glass. I bet it-OW.
Okay, if birds had any sense of social status or reputation, I would have lost all hawk street cred for that embarrassing display of flying. And crashing. What the hell did I just fly into? There's no way that was glass, seeing as it didn't even crack when I flew into it like a moron. Well, at least I was right about that… not that that's a comfort. So… some kind of barrier? Is someone trying to send me a hint that I should stay in this area? Whoever they are… they're pretty much as subtle as a flying mallet.
Yeah...this isn't remotely normal. Cages in the sky that you can't see, aren't normal. I need to calm down. The hawk instinct is not liking the idea of a cage, and there's no way I'm getting out of here if it's freaking out. This isn't the weirdest thing that's happened. I mean, when it comes to the whole 'being randomly dropped into a situation no life experience could ever prepare you for' thing, I think I'd consider myself pretty well adapted. In between 'aliens are taking over Earth, want to turn into animals?' 'oh crap, you're stuck as a hawk now!' and 'oh yeah, by the way, your dad is an alien,' I'd say yeah, this kind of weird is par for the course. Me and the other Animorphs, we eat weird for breakfast. This definitely wouldn't be the weirdest thing I've seen by far. But then again… the more I fly around, the higher in the ranks this place gets on the weird scale.
Okay, I need to get out of here, and tell the others about this now. Now to just find a way out! There's got to be some opening, I flew in here somehow. COME ON! Ugh…Any hawk street cred I might have retained in the crash would probably be taken away from me right now, for clawing and scratching at this barrier like a doofus. I need to get out of here!
WHOA! What just-?! Did that barrier thing just shoot me backwards?! That's it, I'm breaking this if it's the last thing I ever-AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
…………ow. That is definitely not glass…
Poll Vote!
Name: Arhu
Series: Feline Wizards, by Diane Duane
Age: Teenager
In a universe that brings you actual explanations of world mechanics and magic without capslock, humans and various other species are chosen by the Powers That Be to fight the death of the universe and the Lone Power who thought it was a great idea by becoming wizards. Epic quests, personal development and being a Jesus are occupational hazards. A truly non-discriminatory position, not even a lack of opposable thumbs prevents one from becoming a wizard. Arhu is a clear example of this, being that he is a cat.
Arhu has a a backstory that known to make people cry and hate humanity, rare wizardry powers he can barely control, and perhaps more worrisome, hormones. His life is frought with terrible dangers; saving the world, dealing with interdimensional portals and accidentally hitting on the reincarnation of his twin sister are just some of the many things he has gone through, but he remains curious, brash and tactless, with only the occasional flash of maturity and his best friend, a dinosaur named Ith, for his experiences.
Notes: Cats refer to themselves as 'people'.
Sample Post:
Man, when they said Lousiana had swamps, I didn't think it'd be so hot and wet. And the people? Are just plain weird. They smell really bad. Really, really bad. But at least they're trying, and they must've learned some good habits; I can see someone getting groomed over there, though really they should stop focusing on the head. Even if their fur is longer up there, it's not proper cleanliness unless you lick all of the grime off. Dumb humans. At least they've learnt some good habits off people.
I see a lot of weird things around here. Really dirty humans, a really big cooking pot with some really big fish. Really, really big and they look really juicy. All that fat must be tasty, although those big teeth look a bit tough. Maybe this is 'Sushi'? Though there aren't any coloured plates ranking them on tastiness. I should probably get back to the ocean, though. I don't think I can drag one of those back, and I can always pick up some pastrami back home. Hey! And what is that?
Oooooh! It's moving. Is it a bit of string? No, it looks alive. And it's wriggly. Hey, get back here! Don't run away, little string thing. Oi! Get back here! How can something so small move so fast? It's like a mouse. Only with more tail. Heeeeeeeere, little stringy thing. Come back heeeeere. I just want to play with you! With my claws and teeth! I'm not going to hurt you much, just eat you, so get baaack here.Yes, it's stopped running! Time to sneak up on it. Crouch low, sneak through the grass and sand, sneaking forwards, sneaking forwards, the wonderful tomcat Arhu prepares to bring down another bit of food -- isdhid;psuadgARGGHhohiwosddhssdkgudusssssssssssss.
Hi Marcy. It's nice to meet you. Really.
Poll Vote!
Character: Haruhiko Kanou
Series: Enchanter
Character Age: 17
Canon: Meet Haruhiko. He's your average high school student, with a love for building, fixing and/or taking apart things, a great love for the female body... oh, and a love for Yuka Fujikawa, who also happens to be his next door neighbor and childhood friend-slash-tutor to boot! Unfortunately for Haruhiko, she's a total airhead and he's an idiot around her, so too bad so sad. In fact, he had absolutely no idea there were demons out there and beings called "Enchanters" who the demons enlisted to make special tools and weapons for them...
That was the way it was, until a demon that had the exact same face body as Yuka quite literally crashed into Haruhiko's life. And with this demon, came the soul of her dead lover, that for some reason looks exactly like him, who she wants... in his body!? And the fastest way to get his soul out and Fulcanelli's in is... during sex!? And c now demons are after Yuka because she's a virgin!? Wait a second, when did this become a porno!?
Now Haruhiko's out to figure out how to get Fulcanelli his own body, survive against whatever demons come his way, become a great enchanter and somehow protect his teacher (and both their virginities) all at once! Let's just hope he can make it...
Sample Post:
At home, at camp, it's all the same... But I guess it's not so bad here. Being asked to fix the loudspeakers for the director isn't as bad as having to fix somebody's car, not by a long shot. It's actually kind of fun! No more fighting for a while, I can train at my own pace... Yeah, life here is good. I do miss a couple of things about home, though... Living next to Yuka-chan, getting to see her every day, seeing her at school, having access to the workshop, being able to build anything I wanted... No! Don't get yourself down, man, this is still great!
In fact, with the "no sex" rule, even if Eukanaria did somehow show up... My soul would be perfectly safe! It's like taking away her only weapon against me! It's too perfect! At a place like this, I can't get depressed enough to want to die, and with that rule, there's absolutely no way she could possibly take my soul from me! The only downside to this is that Yuka-chan isn't here... And that's a big downside.... A colossal downside...
But wait... What if she could come to camp too? All the distractions of being a teacher could be washed away, and the student-teacher thing wouldn't even matter... ... Oh, right, she's too old to be a camper, isn't she? What's two years among friends, I ask you!? Twenty three isn't too old to be a camper! In fact, it's the perfect age I say! Darn it, why can I never seem to get a break!? I can't even get to the workshop without Eukanaria here, and having her would ruin everything completely!
... Wait a minute... Yeah, that's right... She could become a counselor! That's it! It's not as stressful as teaching, so she wouldn't be tired, and since it's camp, it would be much more lax than at school...! And I would be a camper, not her student, and that's got to be a step up, right?! So... So, in this environment, if I could work things to just the way they need to be... then...
But... that would mean...
... An illicit camper-counselor relationship!? Could that really happen!? I... I haven't asked, I haven ft even thought about it until now, but I'm sure if we just abided by that one rule, no one would have a problem with it... But that's so... restricting... But would that kind of thing be okay, even if it was allowed...? Maybe I should drop it in a conversation sometime just to make sure c Hmmm...
"No, Yuka, it's okay, we won't get caught~" "But... I've never kissed anyone like this before... What if I do it wrong...?" "Don't be silly! Nothing you do could ever be wrong." "Oh Haruhiko-kun..." ... Heheheh, it would be juuust like that-- Eh? What's this?
... H-Hey... Wait a second... This thing isn't broken, is it... in fact, it's... it's... it's turned on...?
... ... ...
HAHAHA. UH. SHOOT. Nothing to see, er, hear here! J-Just go back to your normal activities while I go build something to erase myself entirely from existence! Nope, nothing odd about this message! That's all, folks! Ahahahaha~!
Poll Vote!
Character: Son Goku
Series: Saiyuki Reload manga (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Saiyuki_Reload)
Character Age: 19 (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Saiyuki_%28manga%29#Main_characters:_The_Sanzo-Ikkou_.28.22Sanzo_party.22.29)
Canon: Goku is optimistic, fun loving, and his head is always filled with thoughts of food. Due to his personallity he is the mascot character of the group. He's 19 years old and is of superior health and stands about 5'4". He is made fun of by Gojyo, yelled at by Sanzo and watched over by Hakkai. His main weapon is the Nyoi-Bo, a magical cudgel that can extend into a sansekkon staff.
Sample Post:
I don't believe it, I've actually been sent to a summer camp. This place doesn't seem like what Hakkai's told us about. It's called Camp Fuck You Die. Sounds like a place that Gojyo would run, heh heh! But so far I haven't seen Gojyo anywhere, or Hakkai or Sanzo, all I've seen are these freaky little stuffed animal lookin' things with pom-poms on their heads. It was fat and had a bag with it. It was kind of cute, and looked like a really large dumpling, only with odd colors and it was flying...it was funny looking
Anyway, took out a few zombies when I got here, man those things are hard to take down. They just keep comin' and comin' until you knock their heads off. The only way i could get rid of them was to go into that freaky glowing lake...now I'm all glowy and goopy yeuk! It was fun for a while, now I need a bath, bleh!
And the cafeteria lady gave such a nasty look when i asked for more food. Hakkai would be proud, I asked politely, but i still didn't get any more dumplings! That lunch lady needs to lighten up, jeez, all i wanted was some extra dumplings, and some egg rolls, and maybe few few more bowls of beef stew, and some tempura, and maybe a few other things to eat....but she didn't have to give me such a damn look! Now I'm hungry again, damn it! Dang lunch lady being stingey, just like Gojyo!
Looks like its time to go to sleep, all the lights are going out, well except the lake, still creepy looking, but kind of cool at the same time. Still haven't found a place to sleep yet, I don't even know where my cabin is or if i even have a cabin. This sucks, I need to find Gojyo or someone who'll let me bunk with them until I find out where my Cabin is. So hungry, and tired dxfswdfdsffdgsdd
Poll Vote!
Character: Saburo Mutsumi (623)
Series: Keroro Gunsou
Age: 14-17
Canon: What would you do if you came across an alien frog bent on conquering your planet? For the occult-loving Hinata Fuyuki and his toppy sister Natsumi, the answer is simple: steal the frog's weapons and make him do household chores for allowance money to spend on Gunpla models. Sound unusual? ... yeah, welcome to Keroro Gunsou. Of the five members of the Keroro Platoon (our alien frog invaders), there's one frog that nobody likes; Koyasu's Kururu's hobbies include rape, eating curry, fucking with people, and also rape. But he's already in camp--what's important here is that despite Kururu being "the most dislikeable guy," he has a human "partner" (think Digimon, but with more noncon) in the form of Ishida Akira Saburo Mutsumi, a Japanese teenager with an IQ of 300 and a bad taste in poetry, jokes, and friends.
Saburo is an incredibly pretty boy with an equally pretty voice, which he uses to his advantage as 623, his radio star alter-ego. Reading pretentious (read: weird and bad) poetry and musing philosophically, 623's got bitches, which he thinks is kinda cool. Despite being superintelligent and secretly famous, Saburo's really kind of a normal teenaged delinquent who enjoys skipping school to sleep on the roof, checking out girls, and ... yeah, okay, he likes fucking with people a bit, too. Perpetually zen and easygoing and a self-styled philosopher, Saburo is generally a pretty nice guy, friendly (though occasionally egotistically overdramatic) in speech and mannerisms. An unlikely match for rape!frog, maybe, but then again, precocious geniuses find the most unlikely things amusing--and with his slightly bent frame of mind, virtual reality pen that brings drawings to life, and gratuitous self-parodying of Kaworu Nagisa, Saburo isn't exactly 100% rape-free himself.
Note: There are some differences between the anime and the manga, notably 623's anonymity, and Saburo's name, which is given as Hojo. Saburo is being apped from the anime with slight influence from the manga.
Sample App:
Haha, what a place Kururu has found this time! He told me that he was somewhere interesting, but I have to admit, this isn't quite what I expected. That's alright, though! I've been having fun so far fighting your zombies. It was pretty obvious that their weak point was their eyes--that's typical of undead, right?--but I've been experimenting with a less messy way to take them out. They dig their way right back out of holes again, even when dismembered, and attacking their vitals doesn't do anything at all. Tenacious, right? But like I've always said, even the most mindless beasts can be soothed by a calm voice and understanding words that touch the heart ... or chest cavity, as it were:
Mortality waxes fair like the waning moon,
and life's soft embrace slips away like silky shards of moonlight,
as you change your eating preferences
and don't get enough Vitamin D in your diet.
--623
See? They curl up and clutch their heads, no doubt contemplating the true meaning of their existence. This could be the beginning of a whole new era of zombie-human relations, don't you think? Imagine, everyone in camp, combating their fears with words instead of bullets; songs instead of slings; understanding instead of pepper spray and rape whistles that summon dubiously helpful counselors. That's the way the world ought to be--so let us strive toward it, with words to be our guide. Haha, after all, the pen is mightier than the sword.
Before I continue my discussion, though, it would be much better to reach a wider audience. I'll have to set up my own radio tower here, of course, but I can work with the infrastructure you've already got in place, for now. I've requested the services of your so-called Softspeaker. He was reticent at first, but I convinced him that it was for the best. "You mustn't run away," I told him. "This is a fight for peace, love, and justice, and you--you will play an integral part in the destiny of the world." By the time I read him my newest poem, he was begging me to stop, so that we might share it with all of camp. So, in thanks, and without further ado:
A new sun rises,
And the hearts of campers soar.
I just lost the game.
Poll Vote!
Remember!
- Applicants, respond anonymously.
- If you're going to do the whole "ask me if I voted you out!" thing, please state who you voted out.
- No speculating about the identity of the applicants!
Now VOTE. Eh, good enough. Closed!
Character: Fuko Ibuki
Series: Clannad
Character Age: 15
Canon: Clannad, the third of the KEY Studio's dating sims to be animated by Kyoto Animation, is an anime that rests somewhere between slice of life, and romance of the harem variety. There's also a bit of fantasy to it, but only around certain characters and sub-plots. It follows Tomoya’s adventures picking up various chicks and solving all their problems one by one, making you lol and ’awww’ all along the way. But, like it’s predecessors AIR and Kanon 2006, many of Clannad’s storylines - even the happy-endings - are crying material.
Fuko Ibuki, the first side character for us to follow to story of, is a big bundle of starfish moe. By which I mean not only is she completely adorable herself, but she is also a big fan of starfish - enough to go into a joyful daze if she thinks about them too long. Fuko, while none-too-bright and very childish at all times (cutesy speech patterns and talking in 3rd person) is a very determined girl, heart-set on making the people she loves happy, in her own, unique ways. In fact, it’s this determination that allows her to appear from nowhere, mahou-shoujo style, and attempt to cheer people up when she deems it necessary.
Sample Post:
Fuko appears!
… W-where has Fuko appeared? It’s all slimy-slimy and green. And so are the people here! Are they the ones in need of assistance? Fuko will try her best to help, but Fuko… Can’t really tell what these people need. You look very thin! Did you know that it is unhealthy to be too thin? Fuko read it in a magazine. Clearly you are not eating healthily! That is probably why you are all green and why your skin is falling off. Don’t worry, Fuko thinks there is more to a person than looks.
Oh, Fuko is being very rude! … … Well. A little bit rude. Not very rude. Just a teeny bit. Fuko is one of the nicest people around, she just forgets introductions sometimes. Lately, this is okay, because people will not remember Fuko. Fuko isn‘t sad, though. Well, just this once, Fuko will introduce herself. Nice to meet you, Strange Person! Fuko’s name is Fuko Ibuki, and Strange Person’s name is?
Brains is a very strange name. Fuko has never heard of anyone named Brains. Clearly you meant Brians. Right? Yes, Fuko thought so. You just have a speech impedi… ment. Impediment. Fuko will try to teach you later, how to say Brians properly. That’s an American name, you know. Fuko knows all about American culture. Brians, you must be a foreigner! Fuko will try her best to get around the language barrier! There are no barriers that can stop Fuko! Everyone has told her that she is Japan’s number one at using hand motions to get across her point. Except for people who know sign language. Fuko does not know sign language.
What does Brians need help with? Are you lost? Fuko imagines it is very easy to get lost in a place like this. Don’t worry, Fuko will lead you to civilization. This way! Yes, Fuko is pointing, but you don’t have to point too. Don’t look so confused, Fuko was using very obvious symbolism in those motions!
… Yes, Fuko sees that there is a sign, and that the sign is pointing the other way. Fuko knew that. Fuko was testing you, to make sure you are worthy of her help. Brians passed, so you can have this. Here, take it. N-no, not Fuko’s arm, don’t gnaw on Fuko’s arm! The carving, the carving! Fuko requires assistance, Fuko requires assistance with the person for assisting!
Poll Vote!
Character: Jiang Wei (Boyue)
Series: Koei’s Warriors Orochi
Age: 19
Canon: So, a thousand years after a bunch of Chinese guys killed each other, some Japanese guys killed each other too! And then a few hundred years later some other guys decided that it’d be cool to make a game where both of those other groups of guys get sucked into another dimension by a demon and ALL kill each other! Sounds awesome, right?! Well, one of those Chinese guys in particular is Jiang Wei, an (I quote) “honest and sincere” young strategist who is… kind of like that smart kid in your class that doesn’t understand why he’s picked last for sports? A bit of a mama’s boy, teacher’s pet, etc. etc. You know the one.
But anyway, there’s a lot more to him than that. With a serious nature and a strong belief in being polite and respectful, Jiang Wei can be seen as one of the less outspoken officers in the game, though this doesn’t make him any less of an asset to the armies of Shu. In fact, his love of learning and his eagerness to prove himself as an exceptional strategist would one day make him one of the most powerful men in China… if he wasn’t kidnapped by that demon of course. But as Koei said, his most obvious characteristic just might be his honest determination, as it plays a contrast to his deceptive and deliberate teacher, Zhuge Liang. Unfortunately, Jiang Wei is forced to spend most of the game attempting to reconcile his loyalty to his kingdom and his loyalty to his master after the old traitor decides to join forces with their demonic enemy.
Sample Post:
Truly I am thankful for your hospitality, Masters Grrgll and Hnnnnngh. The tea and sandwiches were quite… exotic. And I am sure once my soldiers return from the sudden rush to use the latrines they will tell you how wonderful the meat- fruit?- …food was. As proper acts of courtesy apply even to those of such extensive states of decay, I’m afraid I have no time for such distractions as fingerfoods myself if I am to now begin repaying you for the kindness you have shown in allowing us to rest inside your- what did you call it? oh, yes- your “Love Cave.”
In the morning, we will make for our camp, but for now I believe we may be able to do you some good here, particularly in regards to the rivalry you seem to have developed with the native primates. Unfortunately, with their size in numbers and body, my men would likely not be able to take them with too forward an action, so I believe our best plan would be to deceive them instead. If I were to take my unit and tuck it back out of sight within the surroundings, we could devise several methods of drawing the gorillas in toward this cavern’s entrance under a false belief of conquest. (Also, if needed, I believe several of us could chant along with the music floating from the treetops, so that the enemy would hear us bringing sexy back and would believe us to only be part of the wildlife.) Then, at their moment of supposed victory as they attempt to enter your Love Cave, the unit will spring forth and they will realize too late that it is in fact a trap!
Oh, you don’t like that one… That’s fine. I have another idea. So, ah, judging from their tendency to mount just about anything, even if it doesn’t even vaguely resemble their own species, I believe that the gorillas have very poor eyesight. So if I was to somehow use wool or some other material to fill clothing in such a way as to make my unit appear larger than it is, we could-
You don’t like that one either? All- All right. If we were to… build a large wooden badger-
I’m sorry, sirs; if this is not how you wish me to repay my debt, then I am not sure what I can do for you! I am little learned outside of the areas of scholarship and battle! …then again, I suppose now that you have pointed out the dishware, I can admit that I am not completely unskilled in the making of good tea; though the rest of the items you’re giving me look somewhat troubling. Tell me, are all maid uniforms here so black and frilly and… short?
Poll Vote!
Character: Tobias
Series: Animorphs
Character Age: 16
Canon: Animorphs is about five teenagers and one alien versus another alien species that is secretly invading by taking over minds and using bodies as hosts. The odds may suck, but the Animorphs do have one advantage: they each have the ability to morph into any animal whose DNA they acquire (by touching them) for 2 hours. However, if they go over the time limit, they get stuck in the morph forever.
Prior to gaining the morphing ability, Tobias was a bit of a loner; he was shy, introverted, and kind of strange, making him a target for bullies. His home situation (or lack thereof) forced him to take care of himself, and it made him feel unwanted and out of place. As a result of this, he fully embraces the morphing ability, becoming a more confident person as he had found a cause to fight for. He favored the morph of a red-tailed hawk, due to the ability to fly, and was often hesitant to morph back into a human because he felt 'trapped.' But after overstaying the 2 hour time limit, Tobias struggles with his own identity, as the human part of him and the hawk instinct are in constant conflict. It is a lurking fear to him that he is losing his humanity, but over time he comes to terms with the two instincts that are within him, despite it all.
As he became more comfortable with his situation, he becomes more open with the other Animorphs, and his personality changed a bit as well. He became bolder, and was able to make jokes about his situation, as well as delivering some snappy comebacks to Marco's jokes.
Sample Post:
Okay, what, OW. Just… OW.
That… that doesn't even make sense! Glass? Did I just fly into glass? No way, that's totally impossible. I mean… I'm a hawk. Us hawks, we've got amazing vision. Our eyes are awesome. I could read the time off your watch when I'm soaring half a mile up, that's how good my eyes are. I'm not one of those dumb pigeons that just crashes into your kitchen window one day while you're making lunch. It's not that I'm trying to brag or anything… it's just true. There is no way, no WAY, that I just flew into glass. I bet it-OW.
Okay, if birds had any sense of social status or reputation, I would have lost all hawk street cred for that embarrassing display of flying. And crashing. What the hell did I just fly into? There's no way that was glass, seeing as it didn't even crack when I flew into it like a moron. Well, at least I was right about that… not that that's a comfort. So… some kind of barrier? Is someone trying to send me a hint that I should stay in this area? Whoever they are… they're pretty much as subtle as a flying mallet.
Yeah...this isn't remotely normal. Cages in the sky that you can't see, aren't normal. I need to calm down. The hawk instinct is not liking the idea of a cage, and there's no way I'm getting out of here if it's freaking out. This isn't the weirdest thing that's happened. I mean, when it comes to the whole 'being randomly dropped into a situation no life experience could ever prepare you for' thing, I think I'd consider myself pretty well adapted. In between 'aliens are taking over Earth, want to turn into animals?' 'oh crap, you're stuck as a hawk now!' and 'oh yeah, by the way, your dad is an alien,' I'd say yeah, this kind of weird is par for the course. Me and the other Animorphs, we eat weird for breakfast. This definitely wouldn't be the weirdest thing I've seen by far. But then again… the more I fly around, the higher in the ranks this place gets on the weird scale.
Okay, I need to get out of here, and tell the others about this now. Now to just find a way out! There's got to be some opening, I flew in here somehow. COME ON! Ugh…Any hawk street cred I might have retained in the crash would probably be taken away from me right now, for clawing and scratching at this barrier like a doofus. I need to get out of here!
WHOA! What just-?! Did that barrier thing just shoot me backwards?! That's it, I'm breaking this if it's the last thing I ever-AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
…………ow. That is definitely not glass…
Poll Vote!
Name: Arhu
Series: Feline Wizards, by Diane Duane
Age: Teenager
In a universe that brings you actual explanations of world mechanics and magic without capslock, humans and various other species are chosen by the Powers That Be to fight the death of the universe and the Lone Power who thought it was a great idea by becoming wizards. Epic quests, personal development and being a Jesus are occupational hazards. A truly non-discriminatory position, not even a lack of opposable thumbs prevents one from becoming a wizard. Arhu is a clear example of this, being that he is a cat.
Arhu has a a backstory that known to make people cry and hate humanity, rare wizardry powers he can barely control, and perhaps more worrisome, hormones. His life is frought with terrible dangers; saving the world, dealing with interdimensional portals and accidentally hitting on the reincarnation of his twin sister are just some of the many things he has gone through, but he remains curious, brash and tactless, with only the occasional flash of maturity and his best friend, a dinosaur named Ith, for his experiences.
Notes: Cats refer to themselves as 'people'.
Sample Post:
Man, when they said Lousiana had swamps, I didn't think it'd be so hot and wet. And the people? Are just plain weird. They smell really bad. Really, really bad. But at least they're trying, and they must've learned some good habits; I can see someone getting groomed over there, though really they should stop focusing on the head. Even if their fur is longer up there, it's not proper cleanliness unless you lick all of the grime off. Dumb humans. At least they've learnt some good habits off people.
I see a lot of weird things around here. Really dirty humans, a really big cooking pot with some really big fish. Really, really big and they look really juicy. All that fat must be tasty, although those big teeth look a bit tough. Maybe this is 'Sushi'? Though there aren't any coloured plates ranking them on tastiness. I should probably get back to the ocean, though. I don't think I can drag one of those back, and I can always pick up some pastrami back home. Hey! And what is that?
Oooooh! It's moving. Is it a bit of string? No, it looks alive. And it's wriggly. Hey, get back here! Don't run away, little string thing. Oi! Get back here! How can something so small move so fast? It's like a mouse. Only with more tail. Heeeeeeeere, little stringy thing. Come back heeeeere. I just want to play with you! With my claws and teeth! I'm not going to hurt you much, just eat you, so get baaack here.Yes, it's stopped running! Time to sneak up on it. Crouch low, sneak through the grass and sand, sneaking forwards, sneaking forwards, the wonderful tomcat Arhu prepares to bring down another bit of food -- isdhid;psuadgARGGHhohiwosddhssdkgudusssssssssssss.
Hi Marcy. It's nice to meet you. Really.
Poll Vote!
Character: Haruhiko Kanou
Series: Enchanter
Character Age: 17
Canon: Meet Haruhiko. He's your average high school student, with a love for building, fixing and/or taking apart things, a great love for the female body... oh, and a love for Yuka Fujikawa, who also happens to be his next door neighbor and childhood friend-slash-tutor to boot! Unfortunately for Haruhiko, she's a total airhead and he's an idiot around her, so too bad so sad. In fact, he had absolutely no idea there were demons out there and beings called "Enchanters" who the demons enlisted to make special tools and weapons for them...
That was the way it was, until a demon that had the exact same face body as Yuka quite literally crashed into Haruhiko's life. And with this demon, came the soul of her dead lover, that for some reason looks exactly like him, who she wants... in his body!? And the fastest way to get his soul out and Fulcanelli's in is... during sex!? And c now demons are after Yuka because she's a virgin!? Wait a second, when did this become a porno!?
Now Haruhiko's out to figure out how to get Fulcanelli his own body, survive against whatever demons come his way, become a great enchanter and somehow protect his teacher (and both their virginities) all at once! Let's just hope he can make it...
Sample Post:
At home, at camp, it's all the same... But I guess it's not so bad here. Being asked to fix the loudspeakers for the director isn't as bad as having to fix somebody's car, not by a long shot. It's actually kind of fun! No more fighting for a while, I can train at my own pace... Yeah, life here is good. I do miss a couple of things about home, though... Living next to Yuka-chan, getting to see her every day, seeing her at school, having access to the workshop, being able to build anything I wanted... No! Don't get yourself down, man, this is still great!
In fact, with the "no sex" rule, even if Eukanaria did somehow show up... My soul would be perfectly safe! It's like taking away her only weapon against me! It's too perfect! At a place like this, I can't get depressed enough to want to die, and with that rule, there's absolutely no way she could possibly take my soul from me! The only downside to this is that Yuka-chan isn't here... And that's a big downside.... A colossal downside...
But wait... What if she could come to camp too? All the distractions of being a teacher could be washed away, and the student-teacher thing wouldn't even matter... ... Oh, right, she's too old to be a camper, isn't she? What's two years among friends, I ask you!? Twenty three isn't too old to be a camper! In fact, it's the perfect age I say! Darn it, why can I never seem to get a break!? I can't even get to the workshop without Eukanaria here, and having her would ruin everything completely!
... Wait a minute... Yeah, that's right... She could become a counselor! That's it! It's not as stressful as teaching, so she wouldn't be tired, and since it's camp, it would be much more lax than at school...! And I would be a camper, not her student, and that's got to be a step up, right?! So... So, in this environment, if I could work things to just the way they need to be... then...
But... that would mean...
... An illicit camper-counselor relationship!? Could that really happen!? I... I haven't asked, I haven ft even thought about it until now, but I'm sure if we just abided by that one rule, no one would have a problem with it... But that's so... restricting... But would that kind of thing be okay, even if it was allowed...? Maybe I should drop it in a conversation sometime just to make sure c Hmmm...
"No, Yuka, it's okay, we won't get caught~" "But... I've never kissed anyone like this before... What if I do it wrong...?" "Don't be silly! Nothing you do could ever be wrong." "Oh Haruhiko-kun..." ... Heheheh, it would be juuust like that-- Eh? What's this?
... H-Hey... Wait a second... This thing isn't broken, is it... in fact, it's... it's... it's turned on...?
... ... ...
HAHAHA. UH. SHOOT. Nothing to see, er, hear here! J-Just go back to your normal activities while I go build something to erase myself entirely from existence! Nope, nothing odd about this message! That's all, folks! Ahahahaha~!
Poll Vote!
Character: Son Goku
Series: Saiyuki Reload manga (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Saiyuki_Reload)
Character Age: 19 (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Saiyuki_%28manga%29#Main_characters:_The_Sanzo-Ikkou_.28.22Sanzo_party.22.29)
Canon: Goku is optimistic, fun loving, and his head is always filled with thoughts of food. Due to his personallity he is the mascot character of the group. He's 19 years old and is of superior health and stands about 5'4". He is made fun of by Gojyo, yelled at by Sanzo and watched over by Hakkai. His main weapon is the Nyoi-Bo, a magical cudgel that can extend into a sansekkon staff.
Sample Post:
I don't believe it, I've actually been sent to a summer camp. This place doesn't seem like what Hakkai's told us about. It's called Camp Fuck You Die. Sounds like a place that Gojyo would run, heh heh! But so far I haven't seen Gojyo anywhere, or Hakkai or Sanzo, all I've seen are these freaky little stuffed animal lookin' things with pom-poms on their heads. It was fat and had a bag with it. It was kind of cute, and looked like a really large dumpling, only with odd colors and it was flying...it was funny looking
Anyway, took out a few zombies when I got here, man those things are hard to take down. They just keep comin' and comin' until you knock their heads off. The only way i could get rid of them was to go into that freaky glowing lake...now I'm all glowy and goopy yeuk! It was fun for a while, now I need a bath, bleh!
And the cafeteria lady gave such a nasty look when i asked for more food. Hakkai would be proud, I asked politely, but i still didn't get any more dumplings! That lunch lady needs to lighten up, jeez, all i wanted was some extra dumplings, and some egg rolls, and maybe few few more bowls of beef stew, and some tempura, and maybe a few other things to eat....but she didn't have to give me such a damn look! Now I'm hungry again, damn it! Dang lunch lady being stingey, just like Gojyo!
Looks like its time to go to sleep, all the lights are going out, well except the lake, still creepy looking, but kind of cool at the same time. Still haven't found a place to sleep yet, I don't even know where my cabin is or if i even have a cabin. This sucks, I need to find Gojyo or someone who'll let me bunk with them until I find out where my Cabin is. So hungry, and tired dxfswdfdsffdgsdd
Poll Vote!
Character: Saburo Mutsumi (623)
Series: Keroro Gunsou
Age: 14-17
Canon: What would you do if you came across an alien frog bent on conquering your planet? For the occult-loving Hinata Fuyuki and his toppy sister Natsumi, the answer is simple: steal the frog's weapons and make him do household chores for allowance money to spend on Gunpla models. Sound unusual? ... yeah, welcome to Keroro Gunsou. Of the five members of the Keroro Platoon (our alien frog invaders), there's one frog that nobody likes; Koyasu's Kururu's hobbies include rape, eating curry, fucking with people, and also rape. But he's already in camp--what's important here is that despite Kururu being "the most dislikeable guy," he has a human "partner" (think Digimon, but with more noncon) in the form of Ishida Akira Saburo Mutsumi, a Japanese teenager with an IQ of 300 and a bad taste in poetry, jokes, and friends.
Saburo is an incredibly pretty boy with an equally pretty voice, which he uses to his advantage as 623, his radio star alter-ego. Reading pretentious (read: weird and bad) poetry and musing philosophically, 623's got bitches, which he thinks is kinda cool. Despite being superintelligent and secretly famous, Saburo's really kind of a normal teenaged delinquent who enjoys skipping school to sleep on the roof, checking out girls, and ... yeah, okay, he likes fucking with people a bit, too. Perpetually zen and easygoing and a self-styled philosopher, Saburo is generally a pretty nice guy, friendly (though occasionally egotistically overdramatic) in speech and mannerisms. An unlikely match for rape!frog, maybe, but then again, precocious geniuses find the most unlikely things amusing--and with his slightly bent frame of mind, virtual reality pen that brings drawings to life, and gratuitous self-parodying of Kaworu Nagisa, Saburo isn't exactly 100% rape-free himself.
Note: There are some differences between the anime and the manga, notably 623's anonymity, and Saburo's name, which is given as Hojo. Saburo is being apped from the anime with slight influence from the manga.
Sample App:
Haha, what a place Kururu has found this time! He told me that he was somewhere interesting, but I have to admit, this isn't quite what I expected. That's alright, though! I've been having fun so far fighting your zombies. It was pretty obvious that their weak point was their eyes--that's typical of undead, right?--but I've been experimenting with a less messy way to take them out. They dig their way right back out of holes again, even when dismembered, and attacking their vitals doesn't do anything at all. Tenacious, right? But like I've always said, even the most mindless beasts can be soothed by a calm voice and understanding words that touch the heart ... or chest cavity, as it were:
Mortality waxes fair like the waning moon,
and life's soft embrace slips away like silky shards of moonlight,
as you change your eating preferences
and don't get enough Vitamin D in your diet.
--623
See? They curl up and clutch their heads, no doubt contemplating the true meaning of their existence. This could be the beginning of a whole new era of zombie-human relations, don't you think? Imagine, everyone in camp, combating their fears with words instead of bullets; songs instead of slings; understanding instead of pepper spray and rape whistles that summon dubiously helpful counselors. That's the way the world ought to be--so let us strive toward it, with words to be our guide. Haha, after all, the pen is mightier than the sword.
Before I continue my discussion, though, it would be much better to reach a wider audience. I'll have to set up my own radio tower here, of course, but I can work with the infrastructure you've already got in place, for now. I've requested the services of your so-called Softspeaker. He was reticent at first, but I convinced him that it was for the best. "You mustn't run away," I told him. "This is a fight for peace, love, and justice, and you--you will play an integral part in the destiny of the world." By the time I read him my newest poem, he was begging me to stop, so that we might share it with all of camp. So, in thanks, and without further ado:
A new sun rises,
And the hearts of campers soar.
I just lost the game.
Poll Vote!