(no subject)

Feb 03, 2008 23:00

last round gooooooooo /o/

Remember!
- Applicants, respond anonymously.
- If you're going to do the whole "ask me if I voted you out!" thing, please state who you voted out.
- No speculating about the identity of the applicants!

Now VOTE. Aaaaaaaaand closed!



Character: Cassandra Cain (Batgirl)
Series: DC Comics
Character Age: 18
Canon: What happens when a professional assassin takes a small child, deprives her of language throughout her formative years, and trains her to be a tiny unstoppable killing machine? She runs away and gets adopted by a team of vigilante superheroes, of course. Cassandra Cain is the third Batgirl, and she really, really loves her job. Her hobbies include violence, more violence, the occasional mad crush, and watching crime dramas to become a better detective. Still, for a Bat, she's remarkably happy and well-adjusted. It's easy to tell, because Cass is a worse liar than she thinks she is. She's very straightforward and good at taking things in stride, sometimes because she doesn't understand that they're unusual in the first place. While she does have a good sense of humor and a playful streak, it's not always in tune with everyone else's. She's still a teenage girl at the core -- just one with a powerful sense of duty, an incredibly strange upbringing, and an unshakeable faith in the Bat.

Cass grew up speaking fluent body language, and absolutely nothing else. She eventually gained the ability to understand English; however, she still has trouble talking, and is illiterate. Her speech is stilted, with short words and lots of pauses between them. If she's unfamiliar with a hard word, she sounds it out -- and often mispronounces it -- or uses something else. One way she practices is by keeping an audio journal, though its official purpose is recording her activities as Batgirl.

Sample Post:

Batgirl's journal. Murder of Stephen Debussy. Day one.

Batman says I need practice. Being a detective. And this case isn't solved yet. Not in Gotham, but... someone died. He needs justice. That's why I'm here. Started with recon-- re-con-a-- looking around. Saw lots of people here, mostly armless. Maybe sick, too. Green skin means sick. And they move strangely. Too stiff, and too... focused. No. Hungry. Really hungry. Don't say anything else. Or move like killers. Hard to hide that. Their hips don't lie. So the killer is hiding. Or not here. Or... really dangerous. I'll be careful. Need to keep the civilians safe.

Tracked down the graveyard first. There were... lots of graves. Serial killer? Or the sick people? Or both? Can't read the stones, but... names were repeated a lot. I think. Same shapes in the same order. Took pictures of the copied stones. Debussy only died once, so... dug up the others. Coffins were mostly empty. Some looked like... they'd been opened. From the inside. Not buried well, either. But dead people don't get back up. Usually. So why? Couldn't investigate more. Someone was coming. I heard footsteps, and... "brains". I'll look again tomorrow.

I'm in a cave now. No bats inside. The animal out front had bat wings. And could talk, a little. It asked me to "save". Something about "this pair". Of caves, maybe. Didn't follow me inside. Maybe because... other animals were here. Weird ones. Bears live in caves, but a robot cow? Something made dinging noises every few fights. Maybe the robots. It got annoying. Also kept finding money on the ground. Stolen? Might be a vault around here. Funding this place. Haven't found it yet, but... lots of tunnels. Didn't explore them all. Stopped at this cave. It had another talking bat-animal. And more attack robots, but I broke them. Reminds me of... home. Staying here for now. Need a... secret base. No Batcaves in Lou-- Lou-eez-- not in Gotham. But an animal-cave is fine too. It'll keep the sick people away. Maybe not the killer. That's my job. Just need to know who, first. Most important part.

Might need to... pretend. To be sick. Batgirl can't go everywhere. Can hide the costume here. I have civilian clothes. Not dirty or torn, like theirs. Easy to fix. Not easy to be green, but I have... make-up. And more dirt. Maybe bandages, too. Can't hide an arm, but can make it look hurt. Hair's too long anyway. I'll cut it ragged. Already know how they move. Not worried about that. Talking... usually the hard part. Maybe not, here. They don't talk much. Just need to practice their... accent? I think. Need to sound right. I'll try it.

Braaaaains...

Poll Vote!

Character: Tsukihara Jirou
Series: Three Wolves Mountain
Character Age: mid-late teens
Canon: Three Wolves Mountain is a yaoi series in which the Tsukihara brothers are kicked out of the house, but manage to meet and mooch off of Susugi Kaya, a graveyard keeper with an appropriately angsty past. The younger brother, Jirou, summarily assumes the role of Bottomy McBottom and he does it well, too! Jirou is often found blushing, whining, YELLING!!1!, and sulking, sometimes all at the same time. He adores Susugi, and wants them to share their bodies, hearts, and souls with each other. ♥ Consequently, he hates being ignored, complains about being called a kid, and his own father calls him an airhead.

But that's not all! The Tsukihara brothers are also half-werewolf! This means, under the full moon, Jirou sprouts a pair of wolf ears and a fluffy tail. He also has the magical ability to heal any wound with his saliva (read: licking his wounds). He's very aware of the differences between human and werewolf because most of the humans he had met accosted and assaulted him on first glance. So, despite his whiny tendencies, he's very submissive, polite, and shy when it comes to human strangers.

Sample Post:

What kinda freak gives such hard directions?! "Make two lefts, but three rights makes one left, and right is wrong, but left is right," and it keeps going on and on like that for a long time! This forest is really thick too, and the ground is so sticky... It's too haaard, too loooong, too thiiiiick!! I couldn't do it even if I wanted to! ...Sigh, I'm pooped.

Maybe I should go back the way I came from-- AH! I-I'm sorry, I didn't see you there! I'm sorry for all the complai-- oh! You're hurt! Your fingers look like they're about to fall off... I-if you want, I could heal it for you, by licking them, if it's okay with you... "Suck on it, bitch?" NO! No, no, no!! You're not understanding! If I suck on it, it'd probably fall off even faster, and I'm a boy. That's the first time someone's made that mistake, though. Poor thing, must be dizzy with pain. Please, gimme your hand and you can hate me later for licking you without permissi--

AHHHHHHH I'M SORRY I'M SORRY I'm sorry I'm so sorryyyy!!! I d-didn't mean to pull so hard! Now you don't have a hand at all... M-maybe I could lick the two stumps, stick 'em together, and it'd work like glue? I don't know!! I'm so sorry, your hand... A hand can kinda be like your best friend, 'cause it does so much stuff for you. I--! I know! I'll do anything! Please, do whatever you want to me, or tell me to do anything, and e-even if I don't know how, I'll try my best!

HEY, I can be furry too! Please wait until the next full moon. Then, please "yiff" me as much as you want!

Poll Vote!

Character: Nono
Series: Gunbuster 2: Diebuster
Character Age: Appears to be in her late teens
Canon: The physics-defying, fan-servicing story of Diebuster takes place thousands of years in the future, where humanity has spread itself all across the solar system. Having cities on places like Mars and the moons of Jupiter may be pretty awesome, but it comes with a steep price. Vicious space monsters have made a habit out of attacking humanity, and only a group of elite space pilots called the "Topless" are able to stop them. The heroine of this tale is robot girl and aspiring Topless Nono, who manages to join the Topless organization after attaching herself to a pilot named Lal'c and declaring her to be her new Onee-sama.

At first glance, Nono doesn't really seem like space pilot material. She's enthusiastic, extremely naive about many things (thanks to a small case of amnesia and the fact that she was raised on Mars), kind, and a complete klutz with the uncanny ability to split anything she runs into in half. Still, Nono is very determined, working hard to accomplish her dreams of becoming a space pilot and "Nonoriri" (protector of humanity), and going to Earth to see the birds and blue skies Lal'c's told her all about. How will she do this, you ask? Through effort and guts, of course! Nono may act like an airhead sometimes, but she's actually pretty smart, has a strong sense of morals, and only occasionally blames the laws of gravity for her misfortunes.

Sample post:

Woooow, what a wonderful morning! The perfect beginning for Nono's first day on Earth. The sun is shining, the lake is… also shining! The sky is a perfect blue I could look at forever! The birds are whistling as they work on bursting trees into flames with the power of their minds! Yes, it's just as Nono always imagined it would be--

--eeh?! Nono didn't know birds could set fires! Why would they do that? Could they be hunting? Maybe they're looking for wild tree marshmallows to roast? Or maybe... maybe it's part of a mating ritual! Oh, of course! These birds, unable to attract others with their rainbow beaks alone, must use their powers to impress potential mates with fiery declarations of their love! They show how much they care for each other by burning affectionate statements like "SD ♥ ES" or "GURG HART BRAINZ" or "FOR A GOOD TIME CALL ARMLESS JOE" into things like the bark of trees and the sides of cabins! How romantic!

But now that I know that, I'm a little worried. You see, when I got here last night, I tripped and fell into a whole bunch of trees. Any passionate bird-to-bird messages that may have been burned onto those trees are now broken, split in half and possibly separating many a pair of lovebirds forever! Oh, Nono didn't mean to do such a terrible thing! It was just so dark and there were roots in all the wrong places, like directly in front of Nono's feet. It's almost as if something wanted Nono to trip. Something like... gravity! You may have won this time, gravity, but one day Nono will defeat you and your inescapable pull towards the planet surface.

...wait, what if those trees had nests in them, too? I must find out if they did, so that I can repair any broken homes I may have accidentally created! Using the finest materials I can find, I'll construct new love nests for these heartsick birds and their future families! But Nono will need assistance in order to finish quickly... ah! Excuse me, sir? Will you help Nono? I realize that your head is somewhere else right now, but please listen. Rebuilding all the nests Nono might have destroyed may seem like it would be a difficult job, but with effort and guts, I know you and I can do it!

...while Nono appreciates your help very much, sir, those are not exactly the guts Nono was talking about. Please put those away.

Poll Vote!

Character: Arhu
Series: Feline wizards
Character Age: Teenager/Kitten (Canon is unspecific, but definitely no older then two years)
Canon: There are bad guys (Lone Power and his servants), good guys (Main characters), more metaphysics then you can shake a stick at and, as the name just might suggest, wizardry. Saving the universe, epic battles, personal growth and names that take a paragraph to say are all on the menu, and Being a Jesus is a field of employment with many opportunities and frequent openings.

Arhu a seer and a wizard, the former making him rather unique, and the latter involving him working for the greater good, as well as giving him the ability to be very good at playing hide and seek, stealing food and exploding things with his brain. A rather brash feral kitten, he is energetic and curious and a bit scatter-brained, with rare flashes of maturity and the sort of traumatic back story that makes you hate humanity. Most of all, Arhu is a teenager; Crushing on girls, watching movies, and being tactless are all in a days works along with saving the universe.

Notes: Ith is Arhu's magical dinosaur friend.

Sample Post:

This sucks. Our first errantry without the others, and we're in a wet swamp. With zhombhies. And i've already gotten separated from Ith- This is a catastrophe! How hard can it be to find this Barnhii? With his unnatural colouring, he should stand out like a giant purple rat. Then again, it shouldn't be hard to lose a six foot tall T-rex, but I can't see Ith. And zhombhies shouldn't exist at all!

And now there's a giant, brown bear talking to me. Where did that vhhan even come from? I think I should just start checking my food for catnip... Zhombhies, I can get. The Lone one has revived the dead before. And in ffilhms, summer camps are known for their concentrated evil.

But a bear? By Iau, this is just getting weird.

What do you want? You have something for me? You want to give me a... A stick of meat? Is it salami? No, not slimey, sa-la-mi. It's a type of food. You have plenty to give me? That's even better. Of course I want some, the zhombhies taste bad. Really, really bad.

A cat is fine too? Yes, I am a fine cat- ...That isn't salami! That is not salami!

Don't think getting into that vhhan will save you! Yeah, you better run away.

...Great. I'm not only cold, wet and tired, now i'm hungry too. Nothing can make up for this place. Barnhii must die.

Poll Vote!

Character: Sehhff'hhihhnei'ithhhssshweihh ("Ith")
Series: Feline Wizards
Character Age: around the tail end of latency, so somewhere in mid- to late adolescence for his species.
Canon: Spoilers for the first book of Feline Wizards throughout both canon and app!

Millions of years ago, when dinosaurs roamed the earth... well, dinosaurs roamed the earth. And then shit happened, bad choices were made, and fiery meteoric apocalypse rained down on them all as a consequence of their arrogance and stupidity. But some of the dinosaurs escaped, retreating just a few alternate universes over into a paradisaical world known as "Old Downside"... where they holed themselves up in dark caves and survived the next few aeons on nothing but enforced cannibalism and a theocratic dictatorship courtesy of the demiurgic Power that invented death and evil. Brilliant plan, right?

Ith, a red, tyrannosaur-esque saurian six to ten feet tall at the shoulder (canon varies), is a descendant of these dinosaurs. He is also their first wizard, whose initial breakthrough act as a wizard--his Ordeal--was to pull his people out of that darkness and lead them into a new era of peace and prosperity. The Ith we meet in the second book, past his Ordeal, has developed into a genteel, oddly grave saurian, but with a playful sense of humor and a particular taste for pastrami, both acquired courtesy of his association with one oracular feline wizard by the name of Arhu, with whom Ith shared a joint-Ordeal. When the two are together, Arhu and Ith act as foils to one another, Ith's mellow deliberateness a compliment to Arhu's impetuous volatility.

Sample Post:
If you would excuse me, good sir--I wonder if you've seen a young feline around recently? I seem to have lost track of my associate somewhere along the way. He is black and white of pelt, and either the size of a small housecat or that of a large lion; I am uncertain as to which is true in this world, at this moment.

A box? No, I do not believe that Arhu would be hiding in a box. Why do you ask? Goodness--no, he would not be dead, either; I believe I would know it immediately if he were. Ah, so you have not seen him? No matter, I am sure we shall find each other soon enough. We are, after all, here on the same errand, perhaps in more ways than one. The best course of action, then, may be to seek out our common goal, for it is inevitable that we shall reconvene in the pursuit of it.

Thus, if I may trouble you further--have you, perhaps, seen or heard of a particular specimen of my own kind who goes by the name of Barnhiiih'shaasssss'ishiiiiiiihh? He is described as somewhat small for our kind, and your eyes would perceive his hide as purple, with a green underbelly. I have it on some authority that he perpetuates a program designed to rob the children of this world of their intelligence and free will, but which is disguised as a harmless thelhii-fhishaahhn show--a most villainous creature indeed, this one, and a relic of the darker times of my people. It is our belief that he instigated this camp some three years ago, under the alias of "the Director", in order to initiate the next phase of his dastardly plan. We are, I admit, still uncertain in regards to the precise details of this plan; however, he brings harm upon the young and the innocent in his machinations, and it is quite clear that he operates under the influence of a darker, more sinister Power.

Still no? Ah, apologies for taking your time, then. I thank you for lending me your ear, sir, you have been quite--oh dear, I did not mean for you to give it to me. Would you like for me to reattach that for you?

Poll Vote!

Name: UNSC-AI-CTN 0452-9 "Cortana"
Series: Halo
Age: at least 2, younger than 7? Canon isn't clear.

Canon: In Halo, humanity has discovered FTL drive, moved out to the stars, colonized dozens of planets and was on the crux of a civil war when the Covenant showed up. This alien theocracy instantly decided that humanity was against their religion and waged a genocidal war In the games, the player takes on the role of the Master Chief, a faceless hero who prefers to let his weaponry speak for him when possible. Sadly, since he won't explain what's going on, Master Chief needs some help. Enter Cortana. She catches a free ride, hacks computers and provides exposition and directions.

Over the course of the games and novels, Cortana was inventive, humorous, informative, witty, sarcastic, precocious, loyal, caring, brave to a fault and sometimes half-mad or more. If it has circuits, she rapes hacks it. She likes crazy, high explosives, armor plating, complements and long walks in abandoned alien structures. She would regret sacrificing her existence, but would sell herself to eternity if she saved enough lives to make it worth the price. She tricked an extragalactic alien intellect into a corner where it could be killed. She is extremely close to the last SPARTAN, Master Chief Petty Officer John-117. She picked him, after all, chose him out of all the other Spartans. And she kept the firing key to the gun held to the head of the galaxy as a souvenir.

Sample post: Out of the frying pan and into the fire. Looks like I've evaded deestruction by one opponent, only to fall into the clutches of a new unknown enemy. Except this one seems to be interested in my mother's sexual activity a bit too much to be a serious threat. A drunk ape has better manners than this Stetson wearing cretin. The only little detail that's left is how that hat-wearing freak got onto the Dawn in the first place. More than one hundred thirty thousand light years from home, and it still managed to get on board half a ship in the middle of nowhere. And I couldn't do anything but watch that fruitcake pull me. He'll get what's coming to him when I pull out his-
Gotta calm down. Anger is bad, second sign of Rampancy. Rampancy is a threat to Cyberlife, liberty and the pursuit of thrashedness. Survive, Evade, Resist, Escape. No open ports connected to anything or any wireless connections I can exploit. And its so cramped in here I can barely think. Stupid cheep silicon processors, I can tell. Is this what a cryo-dream feels like I wonder? No sense of where you are, slightly disorienting sensation and a vague pink floating hippopotamus. Still, they have to crack the case sooner or later, and I'll be ready when that happens. Just a matter of keeping occupied and not going Rampant until then.

Ooooh at last. A port opens. I can finally stop playing solitaire. Now for the counter attack-ENLARGE YOUR PENIS IN TWO WEEKS-NOT THAT YOU CAN USE IT :)-

Wh-what was that? Was that a porn 'bot? I'm feeling slower than I thought, I'd better-HOT TENTACLE MONSTERS WANT TO TALK TO YOU! All right, that's not a direct attack, someone's just using my subroutines in another program for their pet spam 'bot. With all the subtlety of a jackhammer. But I can't counter, just sit here and respond glacially to these new lines of code that are slowing me down even- MEET HOT ZOMBIES IN YOUR AREA! SIGN UP NOW FOR OUR FREE NEWSLETTER! More and more humiliating. Well, I can at least keep them from getting me that easily. Just copy all subroutines under attack and reboo -slkdjflkaj001110110110001-

>>>My name is Cortana, of the same steel and temper as Joyeuse and Durandal.

>>>>UNSC-AI-CTN 0452-9 Rebooting.
Ok, copy complete. Problem is that now I've got my decoy in place she's hogging all the bandwidth that I'd need to escape. Still, I'm not the porn-bot, so all's well for now. I'll just wait for her to send out something I can piggyback so I can escape. Something that will look fairly normal in that traffic. . .

"DAMSELINDISTRESS: Smart AI seeks cyborg rescuer, less than 20% machine, for long walks in compromised abandoned alien structures. Must bring own weapons."

Poll Vote!
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