(no subject)
LAST BATCH
PARTY IN THE COMMENTS. ALSO, VOTE IN ERYNE'S, TOO.
Remember!
- Applicants, respond anonymously.
- If you're going to do the whole "ask me if I voted you out!" thing, please state who you voted out.
- No speculating about the identity of the applicants!
Now VOTE. Closed!
Character: Frau
Series: 07-GHOST
Age: Appears to be in his mid-twenties
Job: Official Prohibitioner of Excessively Offensive Materials for Minors Under the Age of 12 21.
Canon: 07-Ghost is a series full of military conspiracies, religious debates on faith, growing up, and baaaby dragons. All this is centered around Teito Klein, our unfortunate protagonist, who through a series of events becomes a wanted criminal and is eventually forced to escape the authorities by falling unceremoniously from the sky and onto a Bishop. Instead of doing the obvious thing in this case, which is hand him over, the Bishop instead decides to take Teito home and call him George.
Frau is the said Bishop, and he's not unlike your average Catholic Bishop: He does exorcisms for money, prayer sessions which he has to be dragged into, and the like. The only thing that's reaaally wrong about him is that he indulges in porn, flirts with the nuns, has an ego bigger than the sun, over-reacts, and engages in teasing everything about Teito; from his height to his face to his penis size...well, you get the picture. But despite how Frau acts most of the time, he's actually pretty responsible, and deep down a really nice guy who would watch your back...if he cares about you. He'd also give you a few good lessons about treasuring yourself, coupled with porn if you're special, and most of the time? They'd work.
Sample post:
WARNING: The following content may contain severe amounts of violence, graphic content, and fluffy menaces. So you might want to remove your ears like that smart little zombie over there before paying attention.
Now that's done with, let me get this straight: I love porn. I believe porn can make us shinier, happier people with a distinct lack of hormonal angst. So in case you were wondering how such a awe-inspiring and handsome guy like moi came to bless this cesspit, when a lady sends you letters enclosed with naked pictures and checks, you don't turn down even the sh*ttiest of jobs, regardless if it's something as retarded as "Official Prohibitioner of Excessively Offensive Materials for Minors". Get it? Anyway, someone has to be the responsible one around here.
But enough about me, though I can't blame you for wanting to hear more, let's get down to business: I'm not equipped to deal with any of those "intarwebs" stuff unless you're directing me to a few tit shots. If you little munchkins have a problem with something? Congratulations, last I heard there are these shiny tools called flags: "
". USE THEM. Believe me, they work, seeing as how I'm getting all the d*mn censors for foul language, and as far as I'm concerned this stupid system can go to h*ll-- ...what, even h*ll? The heck? Wait a minute, so heck is good enough now? Ahh, forget it.
Moving on! Do not come crying "iyaaann" to me just because someone sticks "F*** this shit!" on your back or scrawls "my pen*s mightier" in your books. You've got to make a stand on your own for once! Promise them that there's a treasure trove of tentacle porn by the lake and I guarantee they won't do it again. Besides, if I have to do something about every little offensive word you come across, I expect that in due time some whiny little nark like you would insist I spread myself across the Camp's welcome sign everyday because it says Camp F*** YOU DIE! No sh*t sherlock, and when you do come whining to me you will be the first one I paste up there.
And finally, the only thing I want to be gathering here is porn. All those other children's books or comics? You can keep them, because let's be perfectly sensible here, I can't go around spouting ludicrous things like: "Kid, this girl you're reading about is saving the world? You've got to be kidding, all I see are panty shots!", especially when the boys all look like chicks. Besides, kiddie porn isn't my thing.
Since all that's clear, I think we're done here! So unless any of you brats are volunteering to find me a pile of this week's newest porn releases, you can all scatter away except for the ladies, of course, I definitely want a few of you to take me on a grand tour, especially since I hear there's an onsen around. ♥
Poll Vote!
Character name: Dream of the Endless (Morpheus)
Series: Sandman
Age: As old as the first dream ever dreamt, but looks somewhere from his late teens to mid-twenties
Job: Camp Storyteller
Canon: Sandman canon tells us there are seven essential aspects of the universe anthropomorphically personified as the Endless. They are, in order: Destiny, Death, Dream, Destruction, Desire, Despair, and Delirium. Dream happens to be the third, and the titular character. He is the personification of both dream and nightmare. While everyone who has ever dreamed is one of his people, he has a special connection to dreamers and stories.
The morose Dream is close to his more outgoing and personable older sister, Death. Where Death collects friends and floppy hats, however, Dream collects names. He goes by Morpheus, Oneiros, Kai'ckul, Lord Shaper, Prince of Stories and far too many more to list. He is the lord of the Dreaming, a place that resides in human imagination, or perhaps is the human imagination.
Dream plays the Greek hero in Sandman: noble, tragic, with a strong honour code. He doesn't have much of a sense of humour, and he's slow to forgive and forget. At the same time, he's always meticulous about his duties both as Dream and to his people, which makes him dependable and fair minded. He defines himself by his responsibilities, which is partly why he shuns change. He's always very formal, a trait that extends to his speech patterns.
As a note, the soft places are the edges around the Dreaming where reality and dream mix, and where time has no meaning (once bringing a two men separated by a gap of thirty years into the same space). The general rule of thumb is that no one ever escapes the soft places if they are unlucky enough to fall in, not quite unlike camp.
Sample Entry:
The few occasions when I come to the soft places are driven by a need to think, or to remember. To this particular edge I have not been for an age, perhaps two. I do not recall that the lake glowed in that time, nor were the primary inhabitants of the area zombies. In the pursuit of meditation, however, these fundaments matter little.
But it has become close to custom now for the quiet of my contemplation to be shattered by an interruption that spurs a story. The last was prompted by a kitten who played a small part in the larger story, but whose inclusion I am told made the story all the better, for all things with kittens are made brighter.
Let us therefore begin with a kitten. Her ears are too large for her head, but she sees the world as a cat does, and so it is the world that is too small for the kitten's ears. A child was given to the kitten as a feeder, a toy, a general point of interest never to be admired too long lest the child believe the kitten held any interest in the child.
The kitten was fond of exploration, and was wont to lead her human on wild goose chases about the green land they lived in. The child would call out a garbled name, and the kitten would not answer, for cats answer to no one. It is the cat who is paid sustenance and attention for the simple act of lounging in the human's domicile, after all.
One day, the kitten led the child to the border of a field, then skirted along the edge and away from it. The kitten waited for the clumsy sound of the child's footfall, but heard nothing. She crept back to the field, where the child had crushed through the plants and twigs, straight into the field. The kitten did not pursue. The world comes to a cat, and not the cat into the world. Night came, but not the child. The kitten waited each day, until she grew into a cat, but still the human child did not return, not even when the cat's eyes closed for a final time.
This is the rule of the soft places: save by good luck or blind chance, one goes in, and one does not come out.
Poll Vote!
Character: Shinobu Morita
Series: Honey &
Clover
Character Age: 26
Job: Camp Artist
Canon: Honey and Clover is a coming of age story about 5 art
school students living in Tokyo. The series deals with their everyday
trials as waking up early for class and trying to afford meat on a
poor college student's income as well as more serious struggles like
unrequited love and becoming an adult. Well, except Morita doesn't
seem to worry much about the latter.. or anything else except eating
and getting paid.
Shinobu Morita is an eccentric. He's also an incredibly talented
artist, but that doesn't matter so much because he hasn't managed to
graduate after 8 years. Why? Because he can't seem to bring himself to
be productive on anything except his own bizarre ideas (that and he's
still missing a credit). Morita is prone to sudden random outbursts,
ignoring personal space, stealing people's food, clothes and other
personal belongings, and being plain annoyingly happy and carefree
until he snaps and throws a temper tantrum, demanding you give him his
money back (plus interest). While Morita is capable of being serious
and thoughtful, mostly he seems like a 5 year old on sugar stuck in a
26 year old's body, especially when he's around his legal loli crush.
He takes hair pulling and teasing to the EXTREME!!! We're talking
about chasing the poor girl with random costumes, arranging epic mouse
battles (he calls her Mouse No.1... yes.), making fun of her
shortness, and telling her that she'll die if she hiccups a hundred
times and happily starts counting down for her. Act your age and
graduate already, Morita-san.
Note: Morita is taken from post-episode 18/chapter 33, after he's
finished spending a year in the US working for Director Peter
Lucas.
Sample post
Hahaha, I'm pretty surprised to be back here in America so soon after
leaving. I was only walking down the street when some guys in a white
van asked, "Hey mister, do you like lolis because we just got a big
shipment last month," and told me to get in. Taking advantage of me
like that... I mean, who doesn't love lollipops? That's so unfair!
We'll see if I ever let you lure me into a van ever again!
Seems like I have to work on this zombie movie for the director.
What's that? I'm not even in charge of special effects anymore. How do
you expect "Dude, Where's My Arm?" to be a success without me working
on the CGI. I thought we had something special; I do all the work and
you take all the credit. Why, I say, whyyyyy. And Why did you give me
this job? If you wanted me to do the promotional art, you've given me
all the wrong supplies. What am I supposed to do with jello, whipped
cream, and handcuffs? Make a jello octopus sculpture? Wait, that's
great! Look, she's even wiggling around like a jello pudding cup in
excitement! Awww, it's nice to be appreciated and it's even
better to get paid. I guess I'll stick around and do this job
for now. You're lucky that I'm so generous, but don't think you've
heard the end of this! When I catch you, I'm going to sue you!
Okay, my zombie actor friends, I guess I'm your new on site artist.
Before I let you see my genius at work, does anyone know when my
contract ends? Oh really? Never? In that case, let me start my first
project. It's what you call performance art with audience
participation. First, you get me a lot of popsicles. Second, I eat the
popsicles. Third, I instruct you on how to make a giant popsicle boat.
Oh, and I'm going to need one of you to lend me an arm or a leg or
something to use as a paddle. And a head would be great too; that can
be a bucket to scoop water out. Don't worry, it's only a loan~ It will
be worth it when I'm done Shinobu ☆ Morita's Glorious Escape
Aboard a Popsicle Boat and Then Sue the Pants Off Director Peter
Lucas....Art!
Oh, I see! The director is actually a woman named Elizabeth Sayre,
this is zombie camp, not a movie set, and there's no way to leave...
WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?
Hahaha, seems like I made a tiny mistake. Ms. Sayre, let me just
say... I'm suing you for twenty times your worth for kidnapping,
breaking labor laws and false advertising! A sugar ban? THIS
ISN'T CANDY MOUNTAIN. THIS IS MADNESS.
Poll Vote!
Character: Kratos
Series: God of War
Character Age: Adult
Counsellor Job: Uhm, God of War?
Canon: [MAJOR SPOILERS K]
Born the mortal son of Zeus, Kratos' fate was sealed the day he swore a pact with Ares, the God of War. On the brink of defeat, Kratos swore his eternal service to Ares, in exchange for saving him and his Spartan Army from a Barbarian invasion.
Kratos has seen Hell; twice, in fact. He has travelled every inch of mythical Greece, opened Pandora's Box, has even ruled as the God of War, and defeated Zeus himself. He has taken control of all time and space, by killing the Sisters of Fate; Yet he is ever haunted by regret for the people important to him, all of which have inadvertently died by his hand.
His life is filled with terrible battles and obstacles, but Kratos is just short of an apathetic killing machine. His soul, stained with blood and death, leads him to be callous in nature toward others, and he has never had any qualms about about killing, maiming, or using others to further his personal interests. He is compassionate in the rarest instances, but will only bother with those who serve any use to him. He protects his loved ones (the few there are) with iron will and unwaivable confidence.
Sample Post:
Hear me, Zeus! Your smoke and illusions do not fool me! I will not be stopped by your petty minions!
Come out and face me, so that you may know the true power of the God of War!
You people, tell me the way to Greece. My name is Kratos; I have no interest in yours. I must return to Mount Olympus! Tell me the way and get these zombies away from me!
[several minutes of ruthless slaughter later]
Is there no hope for Sparta?! I will not stand by while I am sent here! Zeus and the other gods fear me, so they send me to this camp of children?!
I will have none of this! I will kill everyone who stands between me and my vengeance! Come and find me, gods of Olympus! I defy your rule! I defy your petty attempts to cast me away! The Ghost of Sparta will not be hindered!
Your day has come, Zeus! The sky will rain with your blood--
He sends gorillas? It is as I have always said; the gods are pathetic and their rule is weak. I--
Give me back that spear! You dare pilfer from the God of War?!
Poll Vote!
[mod eta post-closing: due to technical difficulties, two votes have been removed. final total: 0 in, 45 out. 0.0%.]
Character name: Yakuza Leader with butterfly knife
Series: The Ultimate Versus
Age: 29/30 (actor's age)
Job: Expert at Betrayal Overthrowing Bosses
Canon: In 2002, a movie in Japan came out that seemed to contain literally everything a movie should have:
escaped prisoners, yakuza, a random love interest, guns,
shooting people, a forest full of zombies,
antihero main characters, amnesia, zombies with guns, plots, betrayal, a random burst of gay, the sudden appearance of a godmod boss antagonist, murderous vengeful maybe-cops, a pathological liar, violence, gore, sacrifice, and an epic ending that was probably meant to be a cliffhanger and does accomplish that, but also makes the average audience member's brains escape out of their ears in sheer confused what-the-fuckery.
Oh, yeah, and no one in this canon has a name. Roll with it.
One of the crazy yakuza who is a midboss primary antagonist for a while
is credited in the movie as "Yakuza Leader with butterfly knife." Knife-boy is fashionable and enjoys making big, crazy gestures, such as getting in a slap-fight with a maybe-ally with a gun and slicing his knives at you while making "whooshing" sounds, but that would be a bad reason to underestimate him. He's also a clever, traitorous bastard, willing to shoot people for any good reason he can think of (such as just to see if they'll come back to life), and a good fighter: he only loses, in a midboss sort of way, to the hero and the godmod super-antagonist he tries to stab in the back. He also rolls with the punches pretty well, being surprised by the mass amounts of shambling dead people with guns but pretty much just enjoying mowing them down.
Mostly he's good at getting people on his side, or else killing them if that's the better option, and his most loyal, quite literal partner in crime is a weapons expert who is good for shooting people in the face for him, actually getting him to back off a little when he gets too stabby, watching his back, and cuddling with in a way that contributes 100% of the gay to this movie. He's being pulled from before his death... aka either of his deaths in the Forest of Resurrection.
Sample Entry:
Look, this isn't really the way you want to be doing this, huh? There's got to be almost a hundred of you, with guns, not good guns, but you're still all armed and you're stilled trapped under this Director lady?
I'll give you a little advice, if you want a better situation, you've got to do something about it. For one thing, she has a legion of the dead. You all have guns, they don't. They're not all that hard to kill even when they're armed, so if you leave 'em shambling around when all they can attack you with is their bare, decomposing, easy-to-remove hands, that's just pathetic. Other than that you've only got wild animals to worry about, and if you can't shoot something as big as a gorilla you're not gonna make it anyway. Not to mention: summer camp. You're rebelling against the director of a summer camp. Failing at that? Is pretty fucking lame.
There are enough of you against one woman, and if you don't want to do anything to get out of here... You're in the way. Everyone's got to think about who they're taking as their partners in this, riiight? You should give some thought to it. You can't actually die here, so I can't recommend offing anyone who's dead weight anyway, but there are a lot of other ways to take care of someone, you know? You should keep that in mind.
And before you try telling me about some lame magic or how no one can leave, give it a rest. You think that Director won't have a way in and out? I'm only here until my group shows up. Then we're gonna see if we can have a talk with the oh-so-intimidating lady in charge, here, and we're gonna be on our way. See, you might have to rebel against a summer camp, but yakuza? Set their sights a bit higher. We got our own coup, and this is nothing.
But don't relax too much. Remember, if you're not helping, you're useless, and if you want to be a troublemaker, I'll just have to do what I do to anyone who gets in my way.
For anyone who wants to lend a hand, though, I may have a few opportunities for you.
Poll Vote!
Character: Fizzy
Age: Grown-up
Series: My Little Ponies
Job: Camp Horse
Canon: Imagine a world where ponies come in all different colors, where happiness reigns supreme, and the worst crime a person can commit is the act of *gasp* not fitting in. Yes. You've arrived at Ponyland. Prepare to be traumatized.
This is a world where you can tell a pony's personality by the picture on her ass, where children are nearly identical to their parents, where men are a rare find and yaoi just doesn't exist (You can't have yaoi without multiple men, after all). It's also a world where talking furniture and purple ooze are not out of place and the vocabulary of nearly everyone in the show is that of your average five-year-old.
Fizzy lives peacefully in this world of insanity. With teal skin, cystal eyes, and a pink, white, and dark green mane and tail, she breaks out in song and dance just like the rest of the group. She's also the airhead, which explains both the picture on her ass (cups of an unidentified carbonated beverage) and the fact that she can blow bubbles out of her unicorn horn. Get it? Airhead? Bubbles?
You get it.
This doesn't look like anyplace I've ever been. It's all wet and soggy and sad. Like a... a... a soggy forest! The trees are so spooky...I don't like it here very much.
I think it's the right place, though. I got a letter asking for help and I followed the directions exactly. At least, I think I did. I might have taken a wrong turn somewhere. Oh hey, there's a sign! I'm going to the right place after all! Camp Fu--! Fu--! ...I can't say that word.
Wow, I've never seen a human that color before. You're almost the same color as me! How neat! My name is Fizzy! What's yours?
It's very nice to meet you, Biiray. I'm your new camp counselor! I'm not sure what I'm supposed to do, but I'm sure it'll be lots of fun! Oh, I know! We can make macaroni pictures, and color with paint and markers, and make pottery! That's what you do at camps right? I think so. Do you know I've never been to a camp before?
You know what? You look tired. Why don't you climb on top of me? I'll give you a ride! We'll go to camp together! After we pick some flowers, and maybe I'll even blow you... some... bubbles...
Um...sir? I really appreciate you pulling all the leaves from my mane, but I'd rather you didn't chew on it. It feels kinda funny. I'm giving you a free ride, after all, so you should be nice! Biting people is not nice! I'm sure when my friends get here, they'll help me sing a song about it! Do you like to sing?
...Well, I'm sure we can teach you. But you're going to have to say more than just 'braaaay' or it won't be a proper performance. But don't worry! I love to help people out!
Poll zz yiff the pony
PARTY IN THE COMMENTS. ALSO, VOTE IN ERYNE'S, TOO.
Remember!
- Applicants, respond anonymously.
- If you're going to do the whole "ask me if I voted you out!" thing, please state who you voted out.
- No speculating about the identity of the applicants!
Now VOTE. Closed!
Character: Frau
Series: 07-GHOST
Age: Appears to be in his mid-twenties
Job: Official Prohibitioner of Excessively Offensive Materials for Minors Under the Age of 12 21.
Canon: 07-Ghost is a series full of military conspiracies, religious debates on faith, growing up, and baaaby dragons. All this is centered around Teito Klein, our unfortunate protagonist, who through a series of events becomes a wanted criminal and is eventually forced to escape the authorities by falling unceremoniously from the sky and onto a Bishop. Instead of doing the obvious thing in this case, which is hand him over, the Bishop instead decides to take Teito home and call him George.
Frau is the said Bishop, and he's not unlike your average Catholic Bishop: He does exorcisms for money, prayer sessions which he has to be dragged into, and the like. The only thing that's reaaally wrong about him is that he indulges in porn, flirts with the nuns, has an ego bigger than the sun, over-reacts, and engages in teasing everything about Teito; from his height to his face to his penis size...well, you get the picture. But despite how Frau acts most of the time, he's actually pretty responsible, and deep down a really nice guy who would watch your back...if he cares about you. He'd also give you a few good lessons about treasuring yourself, coupled with porn if you're special, and most of the time? They'd work.
Sample post:
WARNING: The following content may contain severe amounts of violence, graphic content, and fluffy menaces. So you might want to remove your ears like that smart little zombie over there before paying attention.
Now that's done with, let me get this straight: I love porn. I believe porn can make us shinier, happier people with a distinct lack of hormonal angst. So in case you were wondering how such a awe-inspiring and handsome guy like moi came to bless this cesspit, when a lady sends you letters enclosed with naked pictures and checks, you don't turn down even the sh*ttiest of jobs, regardless if it's something as retarded as "Official Prohibitioner of Excessively Offensive Materials for Minors". Get it? Anyway, someone has to be the responsible one around here.
But enough about me, though I can't blame you for wanting to hear more, let's get down to business: I'm not equipped to deal with any of those "intarwebs" stuff unless you're directing me to a few tit shots. If you little munchkins have a problem with something? Congratulations, last I heard there are these shiny tools called flags: "
". USE THEM. Believe me, they work, seeing as how I'm getting all the d*mn censors for foul language, and as far as I'm concerned this stupid system can go to h*ll-- ...what, even h*ll? The heck? Wait a minute, so heck is good enough now? Ahh, forget it.
Moving on! Do not come crying "iyaaann" to me just because someone sticks "F*** this shit!" on your back or scrawls "my pen*s mightier" in your books. You've got to make a stand on your own for once! Promise them that there's a treasure trove of tentacle porn by the lake and I guarantee they won't do it again. Besides, if I have to do something about every little offensive word you come across, I expect that in due time some whiny little nark like you would insist I spread myself across the Camp's welcome sign everyday because it says Camp F*** YOU DIE! No sh*t sherlock, and when you do come whining to me you will be the first one I paste up there.
And finally, the only thing I want to be gathering here is porn. All those other children's books or comics? You can keep them, because let's be perfectly sensible here, I can't go around spouting ludicrous things like: "Kid, this girl you're reading about is saving the world? You've got to be kidding, all I see are panty shots!", especially when the boys all look like chicks. Besides, kiddie porn isn't my thing.
Since all that's clear, I think we're done here! So unless any of you brats are volunteering to find me a pile of this week's newest porn releases, you can all scatter away except for the ladies, of course, I definitely want a few of you to take me on a grand tour, especially since I hear there's an onsen around. ♥
Poll Vote!
Character name: Dream of the Endless (Morpheus)
Series: Sandman
Age: As old as the first dream ever dreamt, but looks somewhere from his late teens to mid-twenties
Job: Camp Storyteller
Canon: Sandman canon tells us there are seven essential aspects of the universe anthropomorphically personified as the Endless. They are, in order: Destiny, Death, Dream, Destruction, Desire, Despair, and Delirium. Dream happens to be the third, and the titular character. He is the personification of both dream and nightmare. While everyone who has ever dreamed is one of his people, he has a special connection to dreamers and stories.
The morose Dream is close to his more outgoing and personable older sister, Death. Where Death collects friends and floppy hats, however, Dream collects names. He goes by Morpheus, Oneiros, Kai'ckul, Lord Shaper, Prince of Stories and far too many more to list. He is the lord of the Dreaming, a place that resides in human imagination, or perhaps is the human imagination.
Dream plays the Greek hero in Sandman: noble, tragic, with a strong honour code. He doesn't have much of a sense of humour, and he's slow to forgive and forget. At the same time, he's always meticulous about his duties both as Dream and to his people, which makes him dependable and fair minded. He defines himself by his responsibilities, which is partly why he shuns change. He's always very formal, a trait that extends to his speech patterns.
As a note, the soft places are the edges around the Dreaming where reality and dream mix, and where time has no meaning (once bringing a two men separated by a gap of thirty years into the same space). The general rule of thumb is that no one ever escapes the soft places if they are unlucky enough to fall in, not quite unlike camp.
Sample Entry:
The few occasions when I come to the soft places are driven by a need to think, or to remember. To this particular edge I have not been for an age, perhaps two. I do not recall that the lake glowed in that time, nor were the primary inhabitants of the area zombies. In the pursuit of meditation, however, these fundaments matter little.
But it has become close to custom now for the quiet of my contemplation to be shattered by an interruption that spurs a story. The last was prompted by a kitten who played a small part in the larger story, but whose inclusion I am told made the story all the better, for all things with kittens are made brighter.
Let us therefore begin with a kitten. Her ears are too large for her head, but she sees the world as a cat does, and so it is the world that is too small for the kitten's ears. A child was given to the kitten as a feeder, a toy, a general point of interest never to be admired too long lest the child believe the kitten held any interest in the child.
The kitten was fond of exploration, and was wont to lead her human on wild goose chases about the green land they lived in. The child would call out a garbled name, and the kitten would not answer, for cats answer to no one. It is the cat who is paid sustenance and attention for the simple act of lounging in the human's domicile, after all.
One day, the kitten led the child to the border of a field, then skirted along the edge and away from it. The kitten waited for the clumsy sound of the child's footfall, but heard nothing. She crept back to the field, where the child had crushed through the plants and twigs, straight into the field. The kitten did not pursue. The world comes to a cat, and not the cat into the world. Night came, but not the child. The kitten waited each day, until she grew into a cat, but still the human child did not return, not even when the cat's eyes closed for a final time.
This is the rule of the soft places: save by good luck or blind chance, one goes in, and one does not come out.
Poll Vote!
Character: Shinobu Morita
Series: Honey &
Clover
Character Age: 26
Job: Camp Artist
Canon: Honey and Clover is a coming of age story about 5 art
school students living in Tokyo. The series deals with their everyday
trials as waking up early for class and trying to afford meat on a
poor college student's income as well as more serious struggles like
unrequited love and becoming an adult. Well, except Morita doesn't
seem to worry much about the latter.. or anything else except eating
and getting paid.
Shinobu Morita is an eccentric. He's also an incredibly talented
artist, but that doesn't matter so much because he hasn't managed to
graduate after 8 years. Why? Because he can't seem to bring himself to
be productive on anything except his own bizarre ideas (that and he's
still missing a credit). Morita is prone to sudden random outbursts,
ignoring personal space, stealing people's food, clothes and other
personal belongings, and being plain annoyingly happy and carefree
until he snaps and throws a temper tantrum, demanding you give him his
money back (plus interest). While Morita is capable of being serious
and thoughtful, mostly he seems like a 5 year old on sugar stuck in a
26 year old's body, especially when he's around his legal loli crush.
He takes hair pulling and teasing to the EXTREME!!! We're talking
about chasing the poor girl with random costumes, arranging epic mouse
battles (he calls her Mouse No.1... yes.), making fun of her
shortness, and telling her that she'll die if she hiccups a hundred
times and happily starts counting down for her. Act your age and
graduate already, Morita-san.
Note: Morita is taken from post-episode 18/chapter 33, after he's
finished spending a year in the US working for Director Peter
Lucas.
Sample post
Hahaha, I'm pretty surprised to be back here in America so soon after
leaving. I was only walking down the street when some guys in a white
van asked, "Hey mister, do you like lolis because we just got a big
shipment last month," and told me to get in. Taking advantage of me
like that... I mean, who doesn't love lollipops? That's so unfair!
We'll see if I ever let you lure me into a van ever again!
Seems like I have to work on this zombie movie for the director.
What's that? I'm not even in charge of special effects anymore. How do
you expect "Dude, Where's My Arm?" to be a success without me working
on the CGI. I thought we had something special; I do all the work and
you take all the credit. Why, I say, whyyyyy. And Why did you give me
this job? If you wanted me to do the promotional art, you've given me
all the wrong supplies. What am I supposed to do with jello, whipped
cream, and handcuffs? Make a jello octopus sculpture? Wait, that's
great! Look, she's even wiggling around like a jello pudding cup in
excitement! Awww, it's nice to be appreciated and it's even
better to get paid. I guess I'll stick around and do this job
for now. You're lucky that I'm so generous, but don't think you've
heard the end of this! When I catch you, I'm going to sue you!
Okay, my zombie actor friends, I guess I'm your new on site artist.
Before I let you see my genius at work, does anyone know when my
contract ends? Oh really? Never? In that case, let me start my first
project. It's what you call performance art with audience
participation. First, you get me a lot of popsicles. Second, I eat the
popsicles. Third, I instruct you on how to make a giant popsicle boat.
Oh, and I'm going to need one of you to lend me an arm or a leg or
something to use as a paddle. And a head would be great too; that can
be a bucket to scoop water out. Don't worry, it's only a loan~ It will
be worth it when I'm done Shinobu ☆ Morita's Glorious Escape
Aboard a Popsicle Boat and Then Sue the Pants Off Director Peter
Lucas....Art!
Oh, I see! The director is actually a woman named Elizabeth Sayre,
this is zombie camp, not a movie set, and there's no way to leave...
WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?
Hahaha, seems like I made a tiny mistake. Ms. Sayre, let me just
say... I'm suing you for twenty times your worth for kidnapping,
breaking labor laws and false advertising! A sugar ban? THIS
ISN'T CANDY MOUNTAIN. THIS IS MADNESS.
Poll Vote!
Character: Kratos
Series: God of War
Character Age: Adult
Counsellor Job: Uhm, God of War?
Canon: [MAJOR SPOILERS K]
Born the mortal son of Zeus, Kratos' fate was sealed the day he swore a pact with Ares, the God of War. On the brink of defeat, Kratos swore his eternal service to Ares, in exchange for saving him and his Spartan Army from a Barbarian invasion.
Kratos has seen Hell; twice, in fact. He has travelled every inch of mythical Greece, opened Pandora's Box, has even ruled as the God of War, and defeated Zeus himself. He has taken control of all time and space, by killing the Sisters of Fate; Yet he is ever haunted by regret for the people important to him, all of which have inadvertently died by his hand.
His life is filled with terrible battles and obstacles, but Kratos is just short of an apathetic killing machine. His soul, stained with blood and death, leads him to be callous in nature toward others, and he has never had any qualms about about killing, maiming, or using others to further his personal interests. He is compassionate in the rarest instances, but will only bother with those who serve any use to him. He protects his loved ones (the few there are) with iron will and unwaivable confidence.
Sample Post:
Hear me, Zeus! Your smoke and illusions do not fool me! I will not be stopped by your petty minions!
Come out and face me, so that you may know the true power of the God of War!
You people, tell me the way to Greece. My name is Kratos; I have no interest in yours. I must return to Mount Olympus! Tell me the way and get these zombies away from me!
[several minutes of ruthless slaughter later]
Is there no hope for Sparta?! I will not stand by while I am sent here! Zeus and the other gods fear me, so they send me to this camp of children?!
I will have none of this! I will kill everyone who stands between me and my vengeance! Come and find me, gods of Olympus! I defy your rule! I defy your petty attempts to cast me away! The Ghost of Sparta will not be hindered!
Your day has come, Zeus! The sky will rain with your blood--
He sends gorillas? It is as I have always said; the gods are pathetic and their rule is weak. I--
Give me back that spear! You dare pilfer from the God of War?!
Poll Vote!
[mod eta post-closing: due to technical difficulties, two votes have been removed. final total: 0 in, 45 out. 0.0%.]
Character name: Yakuza Leader with butterfly knife
Series: The Ultimate Versus
Age: 29/30 (actor's age)
Job: Expert at Betrayal Overthrowing Bosses
Canon: In 2002, a movie in Japan came out that seemed to contain literally everything a movie should have:
escaped prisoners, yakuza, a random love interest, guns,
shooting people, a forest full of zombies,
antihero main characters, amnesia, zombies with guns, plots, betrayal, a random burst of gay, the sudden appearance of a godmod boss antagonist, murderous vengeful maybe-cops, a pathological liar, violence, gore, sacrifice, and an epic ending that was probably meant to be a cliffhanger and does accomplish that, but also makes the average audience member's brains escape out of their ears in sheer confused what-the-fuckery.
Oh, yeah, and no one in this canon has a name. Roll with it.
One of the crazy yakuza who is a midboss primary antagonist for a while
is credited in the movie as "Yakuza Leader with butterfly knife." Knife-boy is fashionable and enjoys making big, crazy gestures, such as getting in a slap-fight with a maybe-ally with a gun and slicing his knives at you while making "whooshing" sounds, but that would be a bad reason to underestimate him. He's also a clever, traitorous bastard, willing to shoot people for any good reason he can think of (such as just to see if they'll come back to life), and a good fighter: he only loses, in a midboss sort of way, to the hero and the godmod super-antagonist he tries to stab in the back. He also rolls with the punches pretty well, being surprised by the mass amounts of shambling dead people with guns but pretty much just enjoying mowing them down.
Mostly he's good at getting people on his side, or else killing them if that's the better option, and his most loyal, quite literal partner in crime is a weapons expert who is good for shooting people in the face for him, actually getting him to back off a little when he gets too stabby, watching his back, and cuddling with in a way that contributes 100% of the gay to this movie. He's being pulled from before his death... aka either of his deaths in the Forest of Resurrection.
Sample Entry:
Look, this isn't really the way you want to be doing this, huh? There's got to be almost a hundred of you, with guns, not good guns, but you're still all armed and you're stilled trapped under this Director lady?
I'll give you a little advice, if you want a better situation, you've got to do something about it. For one thing, she has a legion of the dead. You all have guns, they don't. They're not all that hard to kill even when they're armed, so if you leave 'em shambling around when all they can attack you with is their bare, decomposing, easy-to-remove hands, that's just pathetic. Other than that you've only got wild animals to worry about, and if you can't shoot something as big as a gorilla you're not gonna make it anyway. Not to mention: summer camp. You're rebelling against the director of a summer camp. Failing at that? Is pretty fucking lame.
There are enough of you against one woman, and if you don't want to do anything to get out of here... You're in the way. Everyone's got to think about who they're taking as their partners in this, riiight? You should give some thought to it. You can't actually die here, so I can't recommend offing anyone who's dead weight anyway, but there are a lot of other ways to take care of someone, you know? You should keep that in mind.
And before you try telling me about some lame magic or how no one can leave, give it a rest. You think that Director won't have a way in and out? I'm only here until my group shows up. Then we're gonna see if we can have a talk with the oh-so-intimidating lady in charge, here, and we're gonna be on our way. See, you might have to rebel against a summer camp, but yakuza? Set their sights a bit higher. We got our own coup, and this is nothing.
But don't relax too much. Remember, if you're not helping, you're useless, and if you want to be a troublemaker, I'll just have to do what I do to anyone who gets in my way.
For anyone who wants to lend a hand, though, I may have a few opportunities for you.
Poll Vote!
Character: Fizzy
Age: Grown-up
Series: My Little Ponies
Job: Camp Horse
Canon: Imagine a world where ponies come in all different colors, where happiness reigns supreme, and the worst crime a person can commit is the act of *gasp* not fitting in. Yes. You've arrived at Ponyland. Prepare to be traumatized.
This is a world where you can tell a pony's personality by the picture on her ass, where children are nearly identical to their parents, where men are a rare find and yaoi just doesn't exist (You can't have yaoi without multiple men, after all). It's also a world where talking furniture and purple ooze are not out of place and the vocabulary of nearly everyone in the show is that of your average five-year-old.
Fizzy lives peacefully in this world of insanity. With teal skin, cystal eyes, and a pink, white, and dark green mane and tail, she breaks out in song and dance just like the rest of the group. She's also the airhead, which explains both the picture on her ass (cups of an unidentified carbonated beverage) and the fact that she can blow bubbles out of her unicorn horn. Get it? Airhead? Bubbles?
You get it.
This doesn't look like anyplace I've ever been. It's all wet and soggy and sad. Like a... a... a soggy forest! The trees are so spooky...I don't like it here very much.
I think it's the right place, though. I got a letter asking for help and I followed the directions exactly. At least, I think I did. I might have taken a wrong turn somewhere. Oh hey, there's a sign! I'm going to the right place after all! Camp Fu--! Fu--! ...I can't say that word.
Wow, I've never seen a human that color before. You're almost the same color as me! How neat! My name is Fizzy! What's yours?
It's very nice to meet you, Biiray. I'm your new camp counselor! I'm not sure what I'm supposed to do, but I'm sure it'll be lots of fun! Oh, I know! We can make macaroni pictures, and color with paint and markers, and make pottery! That's what you do at camps right? I think so. Do you know I've never been to a camp before?
You know what? You look tired. Why don't you climb on top of me? I'll give you a ride! We'll go to camp together! After we pick some flowers, and maybe I'll even blow you... some... bubbles...
Um...sir? I really appreciate you pulling all the leaves from my mane, but I'd rather you didn't chew on it. It feels kinda funny. I'm giving you a free ride, after all, so you should be nice! Biting people is not nice! I'm sure when my friends get here, they'll help me sing a song about it! Do you like to sing?
...Well, I'm sure we can teach you. But you're going to have to say more than just 'braaaay' or it won't be a proper performance. But don't worry! I love to help people out!
Poll zz yiff the pony