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[theboxization]

You guys have been AWESOME, and this is the FINAL ROUND. We've plowed through 79 apps or so. Thank you SO MUCH for giving everyone's hard work a good read. Seriously. ♥

And, for the record? This guy in my icon, Godot, is also from the gaylawyer game - the third one. He has lasers and he calls Edgeworth and Mia his kittens. ... Seriously. Which is

Comments

[rocketsforgaia]

zomg Sherlock Holmes!

Voting now...

HOORAY VOTES

[rocketsforgaia]

Abstain on Mason (good luck!); In to Crowley, the Flaming Prince, and Kabapu; Out to everyone else. (Sorry, Sherlock. If you get in, we'll hang out, it'll be cool.) As always, will give crit...

Re: HOORAY VOTES

[rocketsforgaia]

... aaargh, that should be "Crowley #2" up there. (Really helps to say "in to X" on a dup batch, idiot-self...)

[rocketsforgaia]

...so about my app, i was wondering if you could give some concrit?

- Urahara apper

[rocketsforgaia]

Unfortunately, this was one of those apps that just didn't work well for me. There wasn't much of a narrative, which hurt it; it came off to me at least as sort of rambly and slapdash, and it didn't really make Urahara's personality clear to me. The voice seemed indistinct, but I don't know Bleach, so that might be my issue.

Johnny apper

[rocketsforgaia]

Concrit, pls? :D

Re: Johnny apper

[rocketsforgaia]

There were three big things about this app that inclined me towards an out:

1) Weird job. I respect that it's reasonably canonical and not a throwaway, but... what?
2) The apparent focus (in the canon section and much of the sample post) on a character we don't have in camp. This never makes me feel confident about apps, and it didn't give me much clue what Johnny would do in camp without "Cherry" around.
3) What little we have of Johnny actually in camp is all molestation jokes. Now, that's all well and good, but "going to molest people" isn't fresh or interesting as a character trait without a lot of work, and it can verge on bad taste. I just sort of went "... uh, ew, not really cool."

I'm sorry if that's kind of harsh, but those were my issues. I hope this is at least a little constructive!

Re: Johnny apper

[rocketsforgaia]

:D I understand.

Just to give some answers:
The reason with the initial focus is the context I placed him in: He knew nothing about this beforehand, and he's reacting to this prediction accordingly. Perhaps this was not the best approach, since I see most of the other appers taking the opposite approach (knowing about it beforehand). About the job... basically to help supply food or blood when there is an emergency and those stuff are, for some reason, not available. ...Perhaps it's not the most useful job? And aha, the molestation jokes (emphasizes on jokes, since he doesn't actually molest people :P) are recurring elements in canon, and almost a signature of his character, and that's why I put it in.

Thanks so much for the crit!

Sherlock

[rocketsforgaia]

Crit?