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[theboxization]

Six upcoming, HOOO!

Remember!
- Applicants, respond anonymously.
- If you're going to do the whole "ask me if I voted you out!" thing, please state who you voted out.

Now VOTE. Closed!

Comments

[shinnanigans]

Brooklyn only in.

I'm open for crit for everyone else it was generally "didn't tickle my funny bone," with a "too emo" for Riku and "that just didn't sound like Ella to me" for Ella.

Riku

[shinnanigans]

Was it too emo? I was aiming more for bland frustration. Annoyance, really, more than emo. The character really isn't as emo as the fandom makes him seem.

Re: Riku

[shinnanigans]

The app was very stiff and stilted, which gave it a very "crawling in my skin" feeling.

Re: Riku

[shinnanigans]

Just what I was hoping not to do! Ahck. His voice is hard to do when he's just talking to himself.

Re: Riku

[shinnanigans]

Use more contractions.

Pallapalla app

[shinnanigans]

If there's anything other than the humour that I can fix in my app, please let me know. =)

Re: Pallapalla app

[softandsmooth]

Well, you use first person for Pallapalla sometimes, and you could just take out those me's for a really tight job (I know how hard that is; I've written for Stellar Loussier before and always seem to miss a pronoun).

Other than that... yeah. If you could condense the ball thing into a smaller portion of the app and come up with something else, too, you'd be all set. You have a solid vote just below the acceptance level, so do try again! Just... hm... look at Ash's God app from the first or second counselor round. That really shows how energetic a great app can be.

Re: Pallapalla app

[shinnanigans]

Ah, like I mentioned to Kenpachi, it is canon for her to switch to 'me' or 'my' if she's already said her name in a sentence--though it could just be a translation issue and my sources may be horribly wrong when compared to the original Japanese! XD

'Kay, thanks for the comments. =) (I don't know if I can compare to the awesome-ness of Ash/God, but it's something to aim for!) I probably will reapp, so I'll work on it!

Re: Pallapalla app

[shinnanigans]

Ah, my bad! Damn translations. XD

Well, I sure can't, either (I was originally going to app God, but then decided on Padme and went ASH APP GOD PLZ 8D). But something I really like to see in apps is a lot of... well... bounce? Spirit? Action? I can't quite explain it.