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Have more apps!
Remember!
- Applicants, respond anonymously.
- If you're going to do the whole "ask me why I voted you out!" thing, please state who you voted out.
- No speculating about the identity of the applicants!
Now VOTE. Closed.
Character: Mihashi Ren
Series: Ookiku Furikabutte/Oofuri (Big Windup!)
Character Age: 15-16
Canon: Oofuri, the baseball anime of the century. Imagine a normal sports show, such as Prince of Tennis, and make all the boys appear as eleven-year-old first years in high school. The school followed? A new team to the baseball league, Nishiura High School, a school that formerly only had a softball team. No wonder their coach is a female. But now it’s time for hardball, boys. The team, however, starts out on a stunning winning streak. Not bad for a bunch of first years.
Then we have our protagonist: a weirdly-accurate, fidgety, timid and stuttering pitcher with severe self-esteem issues and equipped with a “superior”-baseball-player-complex. His school time is spent thinking about baseball. After school? Time for baseball practice. The weekends? Practice games if possible. Free time? You guessed it, he practices baseball. Pitching, to be exact, spending hour after hour pitching at his home-made target. But after spending his entire middle school baseball career hated as the team’s infamously “terrible” ace pitcher [not to mention they all treated him like a disgusting rodent], he now progresses onto high school with severe confidence issues, a batch of new, friendly team mates, and a new catcher to yell encouragements at him and take him by his hand on the way to the top.
Literally.
Sample Post:
E-E-Excuse me, I…I need to buy this…this j-journal, I’m not really good at it, but m-m-Mom said she and Dad would love to hear about my experiences at this American baseball camp. B-but…I don’t think I’ve come to the right place this is kind of…kind of…I..I dunno but it’s kind of scary. I…is there some kind of…of book shop or c-camper store around here? A-all I’ve seen are campers, but some of them are…kind of…odd. I-I-I mean it’s not a bad thing, y-you’re nice, really, t-thank you for…for…for listening to me, I mean I don’t really know what’s…going…on…….
…d-d-did that cow just beep? A-as I said, you…haven’t seen any baseballs around here h-h-have you? It’s supposed to be really big in America or something…t-this is America…right? I…I’m a pitcher, and I should be practicing s-so that’s why I came here, to get better simce I’m my team’s A-…A-..Ace…
………Y-you know. Ace. L-like a good pitcher…
A-ah, s-sorry, sorry! I got d..distracted! Y-yeah, but you...no, you don’t know where I should go? I-I’m kind of lost…the lady a-at the front gate she..she said something about some kind of m-m-murder? I d-d-d-don’t really know anything about it, hhhhonest, I just f-flew in from Japan but I was told trying to…“escape” was a t..terrible idea. But I-I-I couldn’t say anything about being innocent, because I was s-so……scared. So she g-got mad and I had to come here to l-look for a journal and you’re s-so nice for listening to m-me, t-t-thanks, but see, I-I really do need that n-notebook or thingy, so i-if you could just point…l-like this, see? Y-y-you look as confused as I do, hu-…
A…are you sucking on my f-f-f…finger…I nnngh. Please let go. P-please.…I’M S-SSS-SORRY.
I-I-I…oh no I really pushed him now he’s going to hate me. B-but my finger was really starting to hurt and I think he was using his teeth. A-and I talked so much but he was so nice and…I wonder how I could find that bookstore or campstore or somewhere, my mother really sounded nervous about me leaving, cause I’ve never been to camp…before. Maybe that’s the only reason why I’m nervous? I really hope I can buy some baseballs at the shop, too…I want to practice.
Poll Vote!
Character: Noda
Series: Angel Beats
Character Age: 16-17.
Canon: You open your eyes with a gun to your face. The girl wielding that gun tells you that you are dead and that she is a member of the Afterlife Battlefront, a group that struggles against the afterlife world that they have found themselves to be in. In this afterlife, once you fulfill the dreams that you had while living, you get a chance to move on, otherwise known as "disappearing". The members of the Battlefront, however, are reluctant to accept this fate, and decide to fight against it. When our protagonist, Otonashi Yuzuru, refuses to join the battlefront, he finds himself facing the wrath of the leader's most dedicated follower, Noda.
Don't tell Noda he's just a lackey, though, or you might get yourself killed! Noda is the resident rager of the Battlefront, and that halberd he carries around just makes it easier to beat up people when they piss him off. Although he'll gladly injure anyone who insults the Battlefront (especially its leader Yurippe), he is very dedicated to its cause, even if he does think that the afterlife is a giant J-RPG. And though he has a lot of physical strength, he is also incredibly stupid; falling for the traps that he sets up himself and easily brought to his knees by a good recitation of pi. He's terribly impatient and short-tempered, and doesn't usually think before he acts or speaks. As a result, he is usually the first of their team to die on Battlefront missions, and he never seems to learn from his previous deaths, either.
Note: Yurippe mentioned with permission.
Sample Post:
HEY. Just who do you think you are, capturing Yurippe? I knew that those other Battlefront idiots wouldn't be able to defend her, but we were working to help her move on completely, not just to a new area! I didn't come here just to get all of your bullshit about how you need brains, alright? I'm not going to give any of mine up! You don't even want to know how many of you stupid zombies I've ripped up before I got to you! So, you're going tell me where you're keeping her, or else I'll gladly keep attacking you until you can't move anymore! You got it? You're gonna tell me? Good.
So it's that big red barn over on the other side of this place, right? The one with the gigantic tentacles coming out of it, right? Is that a squid or something? Don't squids usually live in the water? Unless this is some sort of land-squid or something. I could believe that, if that's what you said. I'm gonna make a plan of attack, and you're going to follow me, alright? I'm the protagonist here, you're just a guest non-playable character who's just there for support if I need it. And believe me, I won't. You just stay back in case someone tries to get us from behind, and I'll take care of anyone who comes from the front. You've got enough brains for that, right?
Wh-what? WHAT ARE YOU INTERRUPTING ME WITH? Are you complaining because you haven't gotten anything to eat? Can't you just learn how to deal with it? We're doing something a little more important right now! If you really need it, I guess we can make a pit stop, but it's gotta be fast, alright. I'm gonna stand over your shoulder while you eat it, and if you take too long, I'm gonna cut your head off! See, now that you've got the food you won't even eat it. Just get it over with, we have to go now!
Oi, I can still see that you're hesitating to take the first bite! Well, if you're worried about it that much, I guess I can eat the first bite, just to show you how safe it is! You really have to man up, you kn--
This food is going to burn me up from the inside, I swear. This is one time I can say that "killer food" is not a recommendation.
Poll Vote!
Character: Kainé
Series: Nier
Age: 17
Canon: Who’s tired of post-apocalyptic fantasy worlds full of horrible monsters, strange diseases, and grand prophecies involving magical tomes? Not Square Enix! Also apparently on the list of things they aren’t tired of? Gimmicks to increase sales! Such as making two video games identical in every way except for the main character of the Japan-only version being a bishounen trying to save his little sister, and the main character of the one marketed to American gamers being a middle-aged BAMF trying to save his daughter.
But whichever Nier you go for, you won’t be going it alone for long, because along the way, you will unsurprisingly pick up a colorful little party whose pasts are almost as dark as their banter is amusing, including the obligatory loner swordsman…swordswoman? …swordsperson! Cursed to be stuck somewhere between human and monster but never accepted as either, Kainé has been alone for a long time and grown hard and distant to protect herself. Which people seem to appreciate actually, since most of them have been happiest when they could see her as nothing more than some dickish, uncaring thing that cusses like a sailor, enjoys violence too much, and in the heat of battle can string together some phrases so very, very graphic that they would make even the saltiest of seadogs blush. However, despite how much they, and she, may try to act like that aloof, foul-mouthed and -mannered warrior is all there is to her, inside Kainé is a good person who even has some of those… “feelings” hanging around somewhere, and maybe a bit of heroism as well. Just don’t expect her to get comfortable making nice with most of the people she’d risk her life for any time soon.
Sample Post:
…oh, fuck me. Where the hell did we end up this time?
We’ve been walking for hours, and this has to be the fifth time you’ve led me past that same damn cow. Once more and I’m calling it a day, setting up camp, and having beef for dinner. (Yeah, you heard me, Steak. So wipe that smug look off your face.)
I swear, you rotting ass, you are the worst guide in the history of god-awful guides. And trust me, there have been a whole hell of a lot of them, so that’s saying something. Remember, the deal was, I don’t slice you into a million pieces like your buddies who attacked me, and in exchange, you take me to the nearest village. So far, you’ve managed to find a poisoned pond, three separate creepy-ass wells, and a whole hell of a lot of corn, but no signs of any actual villages. All the convenient run-ins with deadly creatures at least kept things interesting, but if you were any smarter, I’d say you were trying to get me killed. Any comment on that? You know, other than “brains?”
Didn’t think so. So, what’s the next exciting stop when we step out of the corn? A ditch? Maybe a tree? …if this is another well or I see that fucking cow again, I will personally-- Huh, look at that. Real buildings and people and everything. You actually managed not to screw it up… Though, don’t get me wrong, it’s still pretty sad that after so much failure even something as simple as this seems impressive.
--ow, dammit! That fucking hurt! What the hell do you even think you’re doing, you little cocksucker?! Ugh, I can’t believe I let my guard down that easily… or that you were smart enough to think of attacking while I was distracted, actually. But come on, you just saw me take down how fucking many giant monsters twenty minutes ago? One lucky bite is no reason to think you have a chance. So get your teeth out of my face before I knock them out of yours and pick a new orifice for you to carry them around in…… No, you know what, ass clown? Fine! I’m in a bad enough mood, so you wanna go?! Let’s fucking go!!
I WILL SLICE YOUR HEAD WIDE OPEN, FEED YOU YOUR OWN GODDAMN BRAIN, AND THEN RIP IT OUT OF YOUR FUCKING GUTS AND FEED THAT SHIT TO YOU AGAIN!!!
…don’t look like you’re actually considering it!
Poll Vote!
Character: Terry McGinnis (Batman II)
Series: Batman Beyond
Character Age: 17
Canon: Batman may be a legend, but Bruce Wayne is only a man. An elderly man whose body can no longer keep up with his innate badassery, which has forced him into retirement. It's been years since Bruce hung up the cape and cowl, letting Gotham backslide to its former glory... as a haven for crime, murder, and corruption. These days, Gotham City needs a hero. Enter Terry McGinnis, your average snark-filled, rebellion-happy teenager of the future, paving his way to a criminal sentence. Not a likely choice for a hero, but 1) beggars can't be choosers, and 2) he sort of found out Bruce was Batman and then stole the suit to avenge his murdered father. What nobody counted on was his being good enough that Bruce would offer him the job.
By day, Terry is a high school student and an errand boy to Bruce Wayne... despite the latter making the former nearly impossible. Terry is incredibly intelligent, innovative, and a quick thinker, but he's flunking half his classes because his "after school job" beats the shit out of him every night. He's a devoted son and brother, but his mom thinks he's a slacker and his brother thinks he's a loser... and while we're on the subject, his girlfriend Dana thinks he's the flakiest boyfriend ever. Although he's a friendly guy with a great sense of humor, Terry doesn't have many friends, because he just doesn't have the time to spend with them. As far as they know, he's too busy picking up dry cleaning and grooming Bruce's dog, Ace. Basically, being Batman makes Terry's life miserable, but he's willing to sacrifice whatever he has to so he can keep the people he loves safe. As a Bat, Terry is not par for the course. He's a street-fighting fast-talker, not terribly concerned with fair play or whether the bad guys make it out alive. Bruce is usually back at the cave offering guidance, but Terry has won plenty of battles on his own, and has learned to separate his emotions from true justice... fully earning himself the title of Batman in Bruce's eyes.
Note: DC Futureland uses odd slang and curses. Slag(ging) = Damn/Fuck/etc. Dreg = Asshole/Jerk/etc. Shway = Awesome/Cool/etc.
Sample Post:
Like owner like Batdog, Ace? I swear you both give me a hard time on purpose... this patch of grass is exactly the same as the last twenty patches you sniffed, so just pop a squat already. I'll close my eyes and give you some privacy if it'll make you hurry up, but I'm not going to be late for my date because of you. Even though it's probably better to be late than to leave early, Dana's getting really sick of that. It's not like I can tell her the truth and use one of Wayne's lines, "Sorry, babe, this is more important than dinner -- crime doesn't wait for the crème brûlée." No, she's just left to think that I'm dessert-phobic, and... I'm talking to a dog. Are you done yet? I'm opening my eyes now, fido, and you'd better have-- what the hell. Is that corn?
Ace, I don't think we're in Gotham anymore. From the look of it, we might even be in Kansas. Does reversing the story make the old man Auntie Em or the Wicked Witch? --ow! Way to bite and run, you dumb mutt, I was kidding! Slag it... where's my com? I better be getting overtime for this. You hear me, Wayne? Old man, come in. I've been put out to pasture at seventeen. Not shway. And it's an actual pasture, like with cows. Do you realize I've never seen a cow up close before? They don't smell anything like hamburgers, I'll never be able to hit a fast food joint again. Wayne?
Great, I must be out of range. I bet I can boost the signal if I get on top of that silo, and maybe see where Ace went, too. With my luck he's hiding in a cornfield somewhere... or he could be right behind the chicken house. Dog, is that you back there? If you choke on a beak, don't expect me to heimli--hello cow. Not dog. Oh god it's looking right at me. Good cow. Nice cow. Cow with lasers. Who gave the cow lasers?! OW! Are you perimeter defense? ACK! Quit it, I'm not the one who's meant to be barbecued--HEY! That's it, I'm suiting up, I did not sign on for mission impossible: cow battle. Heh. I have to admit, it's pretty slick to disguise your guard robots as part of the scenery... but can they fly? Eat propane, binary brisket, and we'll see if you can hit me now!
...that was disappointing. Hey laser cow, if you can't get it up high enough, it's time to replace you with a newer model. There shouldn't be a single spot in this joint where an intruder is safe, and... now I'm talking to a cow, this is not an improvement. But I made it to the silo, so let's try this again. Bat to Cave, anybody home? Bat to--what the--?! Uh, Wayne, I think I'm getting molested by a squid. If I was in any other line of work, I'm sure this would be weird. Sorry, but I'm not interested, little miss cephalopod. You are not my date for the evening.
Or, you know, I could be wrong. Listen up, world... when I get out of here, I'm sending you a memo. Terry plus tentacles equals bad.
Poll Vote!
Remember!
- Applicants, respond anonymously.
- If you're going to do the whole "ask me why I voted you out!" thing, please state who you voted out.
- No speculating about the identity of the applicants!
Now VOTE. Closed.
Character: Mihashi Ren
Series: Ookiku Furikabutte/Oofuri (Big Windup!)
Character Age: 15-16
Canon: Oofuri, the baseball anime of the century. Imagine a normal sports show, such as Prince of Tennis, and make all the boys appear as eleven-year-old first years in high school. The school followed? A new team to the baseball league, Nishiura High School, a school that formerly only had a softball team. No wonder their coach is a female. But now it’s time for hardball, boys. The team, however, starts out on a stunning winning streak. Not bad for a bunch of first years.
Then we have our protagonist: a weirdly-accurate, fidgety, timid and stuttering pitcher with severe self-esteem issues and equipped with a “superior”-baseball-player-complex. His school time is spent thinking about baseball. After school? Time for baseball practice. The weekends? Practice games if possible. Free time? You guessed it, he practices baseball. Pitching, to be exact, spending hour after hour pitching at his home-made target. But after spending his entire middle school baseball career hated as the team’s infamously “terrible” ace pitcher [not to mention they all treated him like a disgusting rodent], he now progresses onto high school with severe confidence issues, a batch of new, friendly team mates, and a new catcher to yell encouragements at him and take him by his hand on the way to the top.
Literally.
Sample Post:
E-E-Excuse me, I…I need to buy this…this j-journal, I’m not really good at it, but m-m-Mom said she and Dad would love to hear about my experiences at this American baseball camp. B-but…I don’t think I’ve come to the right place this is kind of…kind of…I..I dunno but it’s kind of scary. I…is there some kind of…of book shop or c-camper store around here? A-all I’ve seen are campers, but some of them are…kind of…odd. I-I-I mean it’s not a bad thing, y-you’re nice, really, t-thank you for…for…for listening to me, I mean I don’t really know what’s…going…on…….
…d-d-did that cow just beep? A-as I said, you…haven’t seen any baseballs around here h-h-have you? It’s supposed to be really big in America or something…t-this is America…right? I…I’m a pitcher, and I should be practicing s-so that’s why I came here, to get better simce I’m my team’s A-…A-..Ace…
………Y-you know. Ace. L-like a good pitcher…
A-ah, s-sorry, sorry! I got d..distracted! Y-yeah, but you...no, you don’t know where I should go? I-I’m kind of lost…the lady a-at the front gate she..she said something about some kind of m-m-murder? I d-d-d-don’t really know anything about it, hhhhonest, I just f-flew in from Japan but I was told trying to…“escape” was a t..terrible idea. But I-I-I couldn’t say anything about being innocent, because I was s-so……scared. So she g-got mad and I had to come here to l-look for a journal and you’re s-so nice for listening to m-me, t-t-thanks, but see, I-I really do need that n-notebook or thingy, so i-if you could just point…l-like this, see? Y-y-you look as confused as I do, hu-…
A…are you sucking on my f-f-f…finger…I nnngh. Please let go. P-please.…I’M S-SSS-SORRY.
I-I-I…oh no I really pushed him now he’s going to hate me. B-but my finger was really starting to hurt and I think he was using his teeth. A-and I talked so much but he was so nice and…I wonder how I could find that bookstore or campstore or somewhere, my mother really sounded nervous about me leaving, cause I’ve never been to camp…before. Maybe that’s the only reason why I’m nervous? I really hope I can buy some baseballs at the shop, too…I want to practice.
Poll Vote!
Character: Noda
Series: Angel Beats
Character Age: 16-17.
Canon: You open your eyes with a gun to your face. The girl wielding that gun tells you that you are dead and that she is a member of the Afterlife Battlefront, a group that struggles against the afterlife world that they have found themselves to be in. In this afterlife, once you fulfill the dreams that you had while living, you get a chance to move on, otherwise known as "disappearing". The members of the Battlefront, however, are reluctant to accept this fate, and decide to fight against it. When our protagonist, Otonashi Yuzuru, refuses to join the battlefront, he finds himself facing the wrath of the leader's most dedicated follower, Noda.
Don't tell Noda he's just a lackey, though, or you might get yourself killed! Noda is the resident rager of the Battlefront, and that halberd he carries around just makes it easier to beat up people when they piss him off. Although he'll gladly injure anyone who insults the Battlefront (especially its leader Yurippe), he is very dedicated to its cause, even if he does think that the afterlife is a giant J-RPG. And though he has a lot of physical strength, he is also incredibly stupid; falling for the traps that he sets up himself and easily brought to his knees by a good recitation of pi. He's terribly impatient and short-tempered, and doesn't usually think before he acts or speaks. As a result, he is usually the first of their team to die on Battlefront missions, and he never seems to learn from his previous deaths, either.
Note: Yurippe mentioned with permission.
Sample Post:
HEY. Just who do you think you are, capturing Yurippe? I knew that those other Battlefront idiots wouldn't be able to defend her, but we were working to help her move on completely, not just to a new area! I didn't come here just to get all of your bullshit about how you need brains, alright? I'm not going to give any of mine up! You don't even want to know how many of you stupid zombies I've ripped up before I got to you! So, you're going tell me where you're keeping her, or else I'll gladly keep attacking you until you can't move anymore! You got it? You're gonna tell me? Good.
So it's that big red barn over on the other side of this place, right? The one with the gigantic tentacles coming out of it, right? Is that a squid or something? Don't squids usually live in the water? Unless this is some sort of land-squid or something. I could believe that, if that's what you said. I'm gonna make a plan of attack, and you're going to follow me, alright? I'm the protagonist here, you're just a guest non-playable character who's just there for support if I need it. And believe me, I won't. You just stay back in case someone tries to get us from behind, and I'll take care of anyone who comes from the front. You've got enough brains for that, right?
Wh-what? WHAT ARE YOU INTERRUPTING ME WITH? Are you complaining because you haven't gotten anything to eat? Can't you just learn how to deal with it? We're doing something a little more important right now! If you really need it, I guess we can make a pit stop, but it's gotta be fast, alright. I'm gonna stand over your shoulder while you eat it, and if you take too long, I'm gonna cut your head off! See, now that you've got the food you won't even eat it. Just get it over with, we have to go now!
Oi, I can still see that you're hesitating to take the first bite! Well, if you're worried about it that much, I guess I can eat the first bite, just to show you how safe it is! You really have to man up, you kn--
This food is going to burn me up from the inside, I swear. This is one time I can say that "killer food" is not a recommendation.
Poll Vote!
Character: Kainé
Series: Nier
Age: 17
Canon: Who’s tired of post-apocalyptic fantasy worlds full of horrible monsters, strange diseases, and grand prophecies involving magical tomes? Not Square Enix! Also apparently on the list of things they aren’t tired of? Gimmicks to increase sales! Such as making two video games identical in every way except for the main character of the Japan-only version being a bishounen trying to save his little sister, and the main character of the one marketed to American gamers being a middle-aged BAMF trying to save his daughter.
But whichever Nier you go for, you won’t be going it alone for long, because along the way, you will unsurprisingly pick up a colorful little party whose pasts are almost as dark as their banter is amusing, including the obligatory loner swordsman…swordswoman? …swordsperson! Cursed to be stuck somewhere between human and monster but never accepted as either, Kainé has been alone for a long time and grown hard and distant to protect herself. Which people seem to appreciate actually, since most of them have been happiest when they could see her as nothing more than some dickish, uncaring thing that cusses like a sailor, enjoys violence too much, and in the heat of battle can string together some phrases so very, very graphic that they would make even the saltiest of seadogs blush. However, despite how much they, and she, may try to act like that aloof, foul-mouthed and -mannered warrior is all there is to her, inside Kainé is a good person who even has some of those… “feelings” hanging around somewhere, and maybe a bit of heroism as well. Just don’t expect her to get comfortable making nice with most of the people she’d risk her life for any time soon.
Sample Post:
…oh, fuck me. Where the hell did we end up this time?
We’ve been walking for hours, and this has to be the fifth time you’ve led me past that same damn cow. Once more and I’m calling it a day, setting up camp, and having beef for dinner. (Yeah, you heard me, Steak. So wipe that smug look off your face.)
I swear, you rotting ass, you are the worst guide in the history of god-awful guides. And trust me, there have been a whole hell of a lot of them, so that’s saying something. Remember, the deal was, I don’t slice you into a million pieces like your buddies who attacked me, and in exchange, you take me to the nearest village. So far, you’ve managed to find a poisoned pond, three separate creepy-ass wells, and a whole hell of a lot of corn, but no signs of any actual villages. All the convenient run-ins with deadly creatures at least kept things interesting, but if you were any smarter, I’d say you were trying to get me killed. Any comment on that? You know, other than “brains?”
Didn’t think so. So, what’s the next exciting stop when we step out of the corn? A ditch? Maybe a tree? …if this is another well or I see that fucking cow again, I will personally-- Huh, look at that. Real buildings and people and everything. You actually managed not to screw it up… Though, don’t get me wrong, it’s still pretty sad that after so much failure even something as simple as this seems impressive.
--ow, dammit! That fucking hurt! What the hell do you even think you’re doing, you little cocksucker?! Ugh, I can’t believe I let my guard down that easily… or that you were smart enough to think of attacking while I was distracted, actually. But come on, you just saw me take down how fucking many giant monsters twenty minutes ago? One lucky bite is no reason to think you have a chance. So get your teeth out of my face before I knock them out of yours and pick a new orifice for you to carry them around in…… No, you know what, ass clown? Fine! I’m in a bad enough mood, so you wanna go?! Let’s fucking go!!
I WILL SLICE YOUR HEAD WIDE OPEN, FEED YOU YOUR OWN GODDAMN BRAIN, AND THEN RIP IT OUT OF YOUR FUCKING GUTS AND FEED THAT SHIT TO YOU AGAIN!!!
…don’t look like you’re actually considering it!
Poll Vote!
Character: Terry McGinnis (Batman II)
Series: Batman Beyond
Character Age: 17
Canon: Batman may be a legend, but Bruce Wayne is only a man. An elderly man whose body can no longer keep up with his innate badassery, which has forced him into retirement. It's been years since Bruce hung up the cape and cowl, letting Gotham backslide to its former glory... as a haven for crime, murder, and corruption. These days, Gotham City needs a hero. Enter Terry McGinnis, your average snark-filled, rebellion-happy teenager of the future, paving his way to a criminal sentence. Not a likely choice for a hero, but 1) beggars can't be choosers, and 2) he sort of found out Bruce was Batman and then stole the suit to avenge his murdered father. What nobody counted on was his being good enough that Bruce would offer him the job.
By day, Terry is a high school student and an errand boy to Bruce Wayne... despite the latter making the former nearly impossible. Terry is incredibly intelligent, innovative, and a quick thinker, but he's flunking half his classes because his "after school job" beats the shit out of him every night. He's a devoted son and brother, but his mom thinks he's a slacker and his brother thinks he's a loser... and while we're on the subject, his girlfriend Dana thinks he's the flakiest boyfriend ever. Although he's a friendly guy with a great sense of humor, Terry doesn't have many friends, because he just doesn't have the time to spend with them. As far as they know, he's too busy picking up dry cleaning and grooming Bruce's dog, Ace. Basically, being Batman makes Terry's life miserable, but he's willing to sacrifice whatever he has to so he can keep the people he loves safe. As a Bat, Terry is not par for the course. He's a street-fighting fast-talker, not terribly concerned with fair play or whether the bad guys make it out alive. Bruce is usually back at the cave offering guidance, but Terry has won plenty of battles on his own, and has learned to separate his emotions from true justice... fully earning himself the title of Batman in Bruce's eyes.
Note: DC Futureland uses odd slang and curses. Slag(ging) = Damn/Fuck/etc. Dreg = Asshole/Jerk/etc. Shway = Awesome/Cool/etc.
Sample Post:
Like owner like Batdog, Ace? I swear you both give me a hard time on purpose... this patch of grass is exactly the same as the last twenty patches you sniffed, so just pop a squat already. I'll close my eyes and give you some privacy if it'll make you hurry up, but I'm not going to be late for my date because of you. Even though it's probably better to be late than to leave early, Dana's getting really sick of that. It's not like I can tell her the truth and use one of Wayne's lines, "Sorry, babe, this is more important than dinner -- crime doesn't wait for the crème brûlée." No, she's just left to think that I'm dessert-phobic, and... I'm talking to a dog. Are you done yet? I'm opening my eyes now, fido, and you'd better have-- what the hell. Is that corn?
Ace, I don't think we're in Gotham anymore. From the look of it, we might even be in Kansas. Does reversing the story make the old man Auntie Em or the Wicked Witch? --ow! Way to bite and run, you dumb mutt, I was kidding! Slag it... where's my com? I better be getting overtime for this. You hear me, Wayne? Old man, come in. I've been put out to pasture at seventeen. Not shway. And it's an actual pasture, like with cows. Do you realize I've never seen a cow up close before? They don't smell anything like hamburgers, I'll never be able to hit a fast food joint again. Wayne?
Great, I must be out of range. I bet I can boost the signal if I get on top of that silo, and maybe see where Ace went, too. With my luck he's hiding in a cornfield somewhere... or he could be right behind the chicken house. Dog, is that you back there? If you choke on a beak, don't expect me to heimli--hello cow. Not dog. Oh god it's looking right at me. Good cow. Nice cow. Cow with lasers. Who gave the cow lasers?! OW! Are you perimeter defense? ACK! Quit it, I'm not the one who's meant to be barbecued--HEY! That's it, I'm suiting up, I did not sign on for mission impossible: cow battle. Heh. I have to admit, it's pretty slick to disguise your guard robots as part of the scenery... but can they fly? Eat propane, binary brisket, and we'll see if you can hit me now!
...that was disappointing. Hey laser cow, if you can't get it up high enough, it's time to replace you with a newer model. There shouldn't be a single spot in this joint where an intruder is safe, and... now I'm talking to a cow, this is not an improvement. But I made it to the silo, so let's try this again. Bat to Cave, anybody home? Bat to--what the--?! Uh, Wayne, I think I'm getting molested by a squid. If I was in any other line of work, I'm sure this would be weird. Sorry, but I'm not interested, little miss cephalopod. You are not my date for the evening.
Or, you know, I could be wrong. Listen up, world... when I get out of here, I'm sending you a memo. Terry plus tentacles equals bad.
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