(no subject)
Moar apps!
Remember!
- Applicants, respond anonymously.
- If you're going to do the whole "ask me if I voted you out!" thing, please state who you voted out.
- No speculating about the identity of the applicants!
Now VOTE. CLOSED!
Character: Ace, the knight of hearts
Series: Heart no kuni no Alice // Alice in the Country of Hearts
Character Age: 23~26
Job: Lost counselor
Canon: Instead of the daydreaming and curious loli depicted by Lewis Carroll, Alice Liddell is jaded, pessimistic and headstrong adolescent taken by force into the Country of Hearts courtesy of White Rabbit express. Forced to drink a mysterious potion, our heroine finds herself unable to leave until she wins the game: to build up relationships with the country's inhabitants and successfully return home. However, the world she's currently visiting is confusing as time periods come at random, going from night to evening to night and then day, and the power hierarchy is so that individuals with faces have no qualm getting rid of the literally faceless ones. The role-holders (or people with faces) she meets are all off their hinges: Peter White, her overaffectionate stalking kidnapper White Rabbit; Blood Dupre, the tea-loving mafia boss Mad Hatter; Elliot March, the carrot cuisine-obsessed mafia Number Two, and more!
Amongst those people she meets, Ace holds the role of knight of hearts, but unlike the other inhabitants of the country, he's rarely stationed at his homebase, the castle of hearts. Instead, Alice encounters him as he tries to find his way to his various destinations, sometimes as he is coming back, sometimes as he sets up camp for the night. The animosity other inhabitants show him even when he tries what he can to befriend them, the assassins Peter-san repeatedly sends after him, and the dangers he faces throughout his 'journeys' are all unfortunate things that he lives through. The easy-going knight takes all of those in stride, calling it fate and laughing it off with a smile permanently etched his face. What darkness lurks behind that cheerful smile is something only few of the other inhabitants know.
Sample Post: Hahaha, I seem to have lost my way again! These instructions to this camping site that Peter-san provided for my errand are so confusing. Not to mention the map he gave with it really isn't helpful when I can't make head or tail of it. That silly rabbit, I thought he knew I couldn't read maps. Ah, but at least he was kind enough to have that escort see me off. It's just too bad I had to dispatch of them, but it wasn't very nice of them to attack me when I had my back turned. I do hope he doesn't get too angry that I'll be late though. Ahahaha~!
Oh well, that's the joy of being on a journey! I can see the beautiful scenery and meet all these friendly animals and people on my way there! It should only take me eleven more days to get there, so that shouldn't be too bad. But, I'm so unlucky. Those gorillas didn't have to chase me away when I stopped by to ask them directions. I wonder why they were so angry at me in the first place. Was it because I took food from their lunch boxes earlier? It looked so good and I was so hungry that I couldn't help myself from taking it. If so, that's so unfair of them. Besides, that big guy didn't look like he was going to eat that bread in the first place, so what does it matter that I took it? Don't they know the joy of sharing your wealth?
Hmm~ Maybe I should have taken that hunting trail at the right after all. It looked like it would've taken me closer to that bright green light I'm seeing over there. Although, a left at this cavern might be better. I'm sure that's a shortcut to the main camp since I can see some light from the other side. What's a campsite without fire? It would be silly not to have fire going when camping.
Oh! What's this, little bird? You're willing to help me get to camp? That's so nice of you! Maybe I'm lucky after all! I knew I'd meet some friendly locals that would lend me a hand. It's just too bad that it's almost night time. I need to set up my tent and get some rest. After all, it wouldn't do for me to be short on sleep before I arrive to my destination. Who knows what adventures I'll go through tomorrow!
Poll Vote!
Name: Michael Jon Carter, AKA Booster Gold
Series: DC Comics
Age: 30s...ish
Job: Marketing and Self-Promotion Spokesman Counselor
Canon: The year is 2462 and football is still America's past time of the future. The name in college football is Gotham U's golden boy, Michael Jon Carter. Unfortunately, being the greedy little glorywhore he is, Mikey does a naughty thing and bets on his own games. Of course, he gets in trouble with the law and ends up being a janitor in a museum specializing in 20th century artifacts. Then Mikey gets an idea: steal things like a flight ring, a forcefield belt and a time machine and travel back to the 20th century to use his knowledge of the future to become the greatest hero of the past! Nothing can possibly go wrong! And it doesn't, for awhile. President Reagan even names him: Booster Gold. But all that glitters isn't gold and Booster has a hard time balancing his reputation with his desire to profit from a traditionally non-profit pursuit.
Booster is that jock. He's meat-headed, low-brow, and oftentimes inappropriate. He says stupid things and does even stupider things, all in the name of attention and fame. He perpetuates a façade of being the funny idiot and will do a lot to keep up that reputation, but in truth, it's all an act. Somewhere in there is a guy who cares and who is a superhero for the right reasons. But having a lot of money can't hurt, which is why he has no problem putting his face on products that range from comic books to cereal to fragrances, or marrying a septuagenarian so that he'll inherit her massive wealth when she eventually croaks-even if it means dressing up as Wonder Woman in the bedroom in the meantime.
Sample Post:
Have you ever found yourself feel unnoticeable, lost in the crowd, and looked over? Have you ever had feelings of inadequacy and doubt? Well, it's probably because you're a loser. But today, with Uncle Booster's Guide to Self-Promotion, produced by the Canadian Films Undercover Division with a mostly-live studio audience, we're going to try to make you, yes you, less of a loser. It is not going to be an easy journey, but Booster Gold doesn't shy away from a challenge. In fact, to prepare for a day of crime-fighting and chick-saving, I start my morning with a great big bowl of Booster Bits Cereal... Guys, seriously? That's what we're calling it? It's bad enough that it tastes like shi-- Oh, we're still rolling! I assume. What with the "undercover" part of that interesting company name, the cameras are embedded in the environment and my director- I don't think that purple gorilla costume is necessary, Barry! Those aren't native to anywhere. Anyway! Booster Bits, the best way to start a morning. That's what I always say! And that's what Sally Ann said last nigh... morning. Awww yeah.
What was I doing? Let's see, I got the name of the producers in there, the name of my cereal... Right! People who suck at not sucking... We can edit this out in post, right? I have an image to maintain here, and it's the kind that can score me a lot of hot chicks. Is anyone actually paying attention to me? Wha-- Now with the crossdressing gorilla suit, Barry? That's just a little over the top. Not that I never suspected you were some kind of frea... Right! Okay, so self-promotion, kids. Really, it boils down to if you got it or you don't got it. I know this video is supposed to teach all you don't-got-its to get it, but it's a lost cause. Trust me. And why wouldn't you trust me? I'm Booster Gold! Sure, my reputation has fallen on rocky times, but this is America, where people believe in redemption and second chances. Of rising from the ashes of your defeat to become an even wealthier and better looking person than before!
Except this is being produced by a Canadian company and... I guess they believe in those things. Except instead of wealth, I'm pretty sure it's flannel. And smoked moose sausages. We can edit that out in post, too, right? Anyone? The Canadian fanbase is really important to my bank-Me. Important to me. Speaking of me, I'm looking at this bird over here. It's the camera, right? Hello! Seriously, I hope you get out of this ninja phase soon. In the future we had floating cameras instead of Toucan Stan and it makes a lot more sense. You know when people are paying attention to you! Look, this is getting hard. And boring. And boring and hard so I'm going to take five. I read in the briefing packet that there's a masseuse here? By the lake? Massages by Marcy. You can find me there, shooting "Uncle Booster's Guide to Self-Promotion... with the ladies".
Poll Vote!
Character: Constable Benton Fraser
Series: Due South
Character Age: approx. 37
Job: Cultural Ambassador
Canon: Due South is the magically realistic story of Constable Benton Fraser of the Royal Canadian Mounted Police, who first traveled to Chicago on the trail of the killers of his father and for reasons that don't need exploring at this juncture, remained, attached as liaison to the Canadian Consulate. Accompanied by his deaf half-wolf Diefenbaker and the Detective Ray Vecchio du jour, he fights crime and holds doors open for old ladies.
In his Red Serge uniform and flat-brimmed Stetson, Fraser climbs every mountain and fords every stream; he believes in the intrinsic goodness of people; he is unceasingly polite; and his eccentricities are consistently explained by dint of his being both Canadian and a Mountie. He has his flaws, of course: he sometimes becomes impatient and snaps at people he is close to; has a razor sharp wit which he often employs to subtly mock; is incredibly bitter when it comes to his father; and threw the only woman he ever loved in jail because it was the right thing to do. And Due South being Due South, he's also haunted by the ghost of his dead dad, who lives in his closet. Like y'do.
Sample Post:
Ah, greetings. I am Constable Benton Fraser of the Royal Canadian Mounted Police. It's my -- ah, Dief, my apologies. And this is Diefenbaker, my half-wolf com -- no, it wasn't my intention to overlook you. Diefenbaker, that offended look will never get you anywhere, as I've said. Now, if I may continue? Yes? Thank you.
Excuse me. As I was saying: it's my pleasure to meet with you this day as a representative of the fine country of Canada, the United States' northerly neighbor, and impart to you cultural knowledge that will both edify and uplift. I plan to, as cultural ambassador to this camp, provide for you an accessible depiction of the differences and, more often, the similarities between the citizens, their societies, and the fascinating flora and fauna of our countries. ... Though the latter-most appears to be the instance where we differ greatly -- ah, regardless! You are surely aware that the city of Vancouver in the province of British Columbia is the host of the Winter Olympics in this year, 2010.
The Olympics, both the summer- and winter-variants, emphasize athleticism and skill, and it is with distinct pride that I find myself with the perfect setting to describe one of Canada's favorite pastimes, a sport more -- oh, no. Not hockey, though it would be egregious of me to imply that the sport of hockey is inferior, and it is one we do share the enjoyment of with our southern neighbors. No, I would like to use this opportunity to describe -- Diefenbaker!
I must apologize, he's rarely this disobedient unless doughnuts are involved. Perhaps he was merely feeling ignored. The flight was overcrowded and I fear he got into some sort of argument with another passenger's poodle -- Dief, come here. And please give me whatever it is you've picked up, thank you. I am in the middle of trying to explain the intricacies of curling to those assembled, and you are proving a distraction of the... oh dear.
Now, there's nothing to fear. Please, remain calm. I'm sure there is a perfectly reasonable explanation as to why, or how, Diefenbaker found a dismembered arm in the middle of a presentation on curling, and what is important is that we retain our heads until we are able to reach that explanation. There is no need to shout or, as it were, groan. Buck Frobisher, a stalwart member of the RCMP and a friend of the family's who also bears a vague resemblance to the Canadian actor Leslie Nielsen, once said that it is far more important to --
Diefenbaker! It is impossible to keep one's head when you take it from their... body...
Oh dear.
Poll Vote!
Character Name: Ray Kowalski
Series: Due South
Age: 37
Job: Token Hapless Detective
Canon: Due South is a magical realism show where Mounties see their dead dads, deaf wolves can lip-read, and a primary cast member can be brazenly recast mid-series and nobody bats an eye. Stanley Raymond Kowalski is that insane casting decision. Brought in for the third season, Ray Kowalski is the new detective posing as Ray Vecchio who takes over while Vecchio goes undercover. In taking over Vecchio's old life, he becomes partners with Benton Fraser, Canadian Liason Extraordinaire and they form a new kind of partnership that grows over the course of the series. Kowalski is volatile, probably has ADHD, and is both very protective and extremely insecure, which apparently is what makes Benton Fraser ride off into the sunset with you. Go figure.
Sample Entry:
So this is the DARE program, okay? Or... UN-DARE? Whatever, I've done this before. This is easy-peasy, aunt louise-y. I'm gonna talk, you're gonna get a t-shirt and then I get to go home. I mean, you lose one case file and boom! You're in, you're out, you're shipped out to the boonies or the jungle part of Skokie to do whatever hoodoo you do to get a misdemeanor to show back up in your filing cabinet. I figure you kids can figure most of this junk out on your own and I'll get back to doing some real work real soon.
Listen up! I got an appointment to make with a guy way crazier than you, so we're gonna bust through this and I'm gonna go home. I'm Detective Ray and you're some kids and that's all we got to cover right now. There is three- no, five- no, six! Six things you gotta remember.
One is you can't do drugs. Drugs are bad, drugs are a big problemo, drugs are probably the least of anyone's problems but hey. Two and three are something about not eating green dirt or grey matter so we're gonna skip that one because, man, green dirt? So here we got four.... aaaand I can't make out four but it's something about the outhouse so I figure you gotta clean the outhouse sometime. Do that.
I'm not even reading five because who here cares? Not me! Not you! Not your Uncle Paul who acts a little fishy here and there! But if you really wanna know it probably says 'be nice to animals' so don't be a jerk to your dog or something.
Six is.... 'Run'? 'Run, Stanley, run as fast as you can'? Seriously? Ha ha, who's the funny guy here? 'Braaaains'? Yeah, well brains to your mom, too, buddy! LOADS of brains!
Poll Vote!
Character: Tyki Mikk
Series: D. Gray-man
Character Age: 26
Job: Senior Dumpster Diving Instructor
Canon: The Victorian Era: an era of prosperity, corsets, cravats, revolution, child labor and...demons? Set in the end of a fictional 19th century, where "fictional" is used quite liberally, the world is in mortal peril, threatened by the Millennium Earl and the Noah Clan, his personal twelve-man army. Where there's evil, there must be good, and the Earl is opposed by the Exorcists of the Black Order, holy warriors chosen to wield Innocence, a powerful substance created long ago in order to fight the Earl in the first place.
Which is where Tyki plays in, more than living up to his role as the Noah of Pleasure. One the one hand, he's a care-free sort of guy who lives the life of a drifter, traveling from job to job with his human friends, cheating people at cards, and barely making ends meet. He’s casual in speech, mannerisms, dress, and everything in between. On the other hand, as a Noah, he turns from a lazy, laid-back hobo into an equally lazy killer. He enjoys getting a reaction out of his victims, teasing them mercilessly. He takes great joy in killing, and despite trying to show a bit of compassion at times, he tends to indulge himself in the battle. Ruthless and vicious, he has no qualms with killing in any manner of horrifying ways. He enjoys living a dual life, being both a normal human and a murderous Noah, and values both lifestyles, taking care that he doesn't mix the two and compromise his ability to live as a human. All the same, just as much as he cares about his human friends, he cares about his Noah "family" as well, albeit sometimes grudgingly.
Note: to hopefully avoid plot-related issues, he’ll be taken from just before the current manga arc.
Sample Post: Summer camp, huh? When they said there was a job out here, I was thinking it might be worth my while. Now, Miss Director, let's get a few things straight here. Don't go thinking you're going to put this all on me. I just can't help but notice that your little summer camp here has a few...issues. Now, I know what you're going to say, "a good employee wouldn't complain," right? Don't get me wrong, I'm trying here, truly I am. Cross my heart and all that. I'm an honest guy trying to earn an honest living, after all. It's just that there's only so much I can work with, and if half these kids look like they belong in a dumpster themselves, how do you expect me to do my job effectively? If I can't tell the one from the other, there's gonna be problems, and with the way these fellas are fallin' apart on me, don't blame me if Tall Dark and Gruesome over here gets thrown out with yesterday's lunch, eh?
And speaking of lunch...how 'bout we start with lesson number one: rustling up some grub. I know, I know it's nothing compared to a nice filet mignon and glass or five of a nice pinot noir, but it'll do in a pinch, right? Any volunteers? Anyone? No? Well I couldn't expect much from you lot. Between the big hairy fellow and the lad who can't seem to keep his head on straight--it's slipped off to the left again, by the way, you might want to push it a couple inches to the right--you're not exactly the most promising group. You do know that even a child can do this, right? Go on, just get right in there. It’s not difficult, is it? Someone was even nice enough to design it with a ladder, right there on the front! They must’ve been thinkin’ of us when they made it. Get up there, climb right on in. There’s nothing to be afraid of...most likely.
No again? Well aren't you an animated bunch. Must I do everything myself? Now see here, if you'd just bothered to look, you'd have found these perfectly fine coffee grounds! ...at least I'm pretty sure they're coffee grounds. They're movin' around a little too much for my taste, but no matter. We'll find out in short order. We'll just have to see if we can't find a pot, and strike up a--well now, a plate of freshly baked cookies, still warm, even! Don’t mind if I do. A rare find, but it just goes to show what sort of things are in here, if you just dig a little. Let’s see here, what else have we--what's this? Now, who puts a perfectly good, dead alligator in the trash? Maybe it has some strange, unnatural appendages growing out of its stomach, sure, but it's still good. We'll just put that one aside for later. Maybe you can see what I mean now? There’s a vast variety of wonders to be had, if you just take the time to look.
So now that you've got the idea of what you can find, I think it's time to put these new skills to use. A little hard work never hurt anyone, so you all go practice your foraging skills for four or five hours. Meanwhile I’ll go test how sturdy that tree over there is, alright? If I look asleep, I assure you, it's merely a series of rigorous tests designed to make sure that it's stable enough so that I can stay up and away from the rest of you. Got it? Still no? My, my, you really aren’t the most intelligent lot, are you? Well, you’re on your own now. Just consider this a learning experience...one in which I won't be participating.
Poll Vote!
Name/Alias: Emma Frost
Series: Uncanny X-Men, Astonishing X-Men, All of the 'Insert Superlative Here' X-Men comics, basically.
Character Age: It remains general at best, but the consensus is somewhere in her late twenties to early thirties.
Job: Instructor of Gifted Campers (meaning any kids with special powers) but she only really cares about the mutants.
Canon: In the world of the X-Men, there are good mutants and bad mutants. However, Emma Frost falls somewhere in between those two classifications. A reformed 'villain' and former leader of a hedonistic secret society, Emma is now, of all things, a headmistress striving to protect her students from a world that fears and hates them.
Her efforts to educate and protect her students have been controversial to say the least. Many students have died on her watch, and she has done some horrible things to protect the remainder of the next (and possibly last) generation of mutants. These things include deceiving loved ones, killing in cold blood, and using her immense telepathic powers to mind-rape those who try to do her and her pupils harm. Much of this has been done in front of the very students she seeks to keep out of harm's way.
As a person, Emma is intelligent, scheming, and tries to give the air of being in complete control of all that goes on around her. Even in the midst of battle she maintains a put-together appearance, wearing couture bondage outfits as armor, and lecturing people as she puts them through psychic torture. She detests things going in any direction other than her way, and acts as if her students and allies and anyone else, really will fall into line with just one glare.
Despite her cold attitude and willingness to treat other people as pawns, Emma really does believe in the ideals her allies preach. She hopes to create a better world, even if it requires some unethical action to get there.
Sample Post:
Good evening, I am Emma Frost. From today onwards, I will be your instructor, counselor, and the one legally responsible for you. I can hear the mental groaning about being 'babysat' already, so let me tell you this very important fact, here and now. You are all beneath me, and, given the choice, I would rather cuddle with the zombies. I am here out of necessity.
A handful of campers here in this slime-drenched excuse for a recreational facility were students of mine previous to their stay here. They also represent the last of a dying race, and to answer the question I just heard one of you thinking, no, that race is not 'furries'. I know what those are, and have no intention of ever letting one near me. Anyone who thinks otherwise will have their psyches popped like soap bubbles. Understood? Good, moving on. The race I am speaking of is the race of 'Homo Surperior', also known as 'Mutants'. The students who fall under that label are not only my primary concern, but my only concern.
This means, unfortunately for those of you who are not mutants, that you will not receive tutelage of any sort from me. I have neither the qualifications or the energy to deal with some the 'special talents' the rest of you display. special talents like what? If you get yourself into trouble, I will make sure you are not irreperably damaged, but make no mistake, it is because I do not want to face the ramifications of more children dying under my watch. Otherwise you are on your own. I am not your friend, your mother, or your leader. I am legally cuplable for your wellbeing. Nothing more, nothing less.
The only comfort I can offer you is a list of things you should not do if you wish to avoid my wrath. These things are:
This concludes our first session. I hope you all learned something.
Poll Vote!
Character: Nariko
Series: Heavenly Sword
Character Age: 23
Counselor Job Bad End Coordinator
Canon: Stick Devil May Cry and God of War together and add a healthy dose of a preventional tale of why it is bad to touch strange men's swords, and the result is Heavenly Sword, which begins in a far off time and place; where a vagabond clan has guarded the weapon of a heavenly warrior for centuries. The Heavenly Sword grants the user great power, but eventually kills them. The clan leads a wanderer's life, waiting for the rebirth of the holy warrior, who would take up the sword and defeat the clan's enemies. However, nothing ever works out simply. Instead of the anticipated male child, Nariko was born instead. Ostracized and bred into a warrior by Shen, her disappointed father, Nariko grows up to fight for the clan nonetheless. Heavenly Sword's story starts at the moment of her death at the hands of the sword, and works backward.
Nariko herself grows up to be a practical and straightfoward, with a hefty dose of sass and a strong grasp of military tactics. Proficient with a variety of weapons, she was pretty much raised to be a killing machine - yet, instead of becoming hard or cold, she is a fiery, passionate woman, never afraid to answer back, to give her point of view, or to mock and intimidate her enemies. While she does have a sense of humour, she is also sensible and intelligent, with a deep-ground desire to protect her family - her father, and a young girl she found in the wilds, Kai - and a massive presence of will. It is that strength which pushes her to overthrow the evil King Bohan's empire practically alone with the aid of the sword.
Sample Post:
When my time of dying came upon me, I thought I would understand my own end. I hadn't wanted to die. I still don't want to die, but I had come to think of death as something inescapable. I'd wondered, time and again over those final days, just what it would be like; I hadn't known what to expect.
Perhaps, when you know the path of your own fate, change is difficult to accept. But still, I never expected this. This place is more debauched fantasy than haven! Yet, while your irritatingly blank stares are focused on me - at least, those of you who have eyes - this is exactly why I decided to tell such a thing to all of you: you can never be entirely sure of where your end will come. But one thing I do know is this: from the moment I took the power of that sword into me, I was cursed to die an unnatural death. By the looks of all of you, it seems you are suffering from a similar problem. You undead, forced to live beyond your time, with no possible future ... I can almost sympathize, but look at how you people behave! Don't shuffle about and let yourselves fall apart, chewing on each other's extremities. It's as if you're waiting to die! If there's a fight to be fought, don't give in, even if your body is ... drooping. I've been watching you all, how you eat the weaker members of your society. Those of you who are weaker should keep fighting. If you lose your arms, use your legs. If you lose your legs, then bite their legs off if you have to. If you like the taste of flesh so much, chew down to the bones! If you know that your life will end bleakly, then fight to your last breath. Or ... your last death rattle. Are you not still alive, under that half-attached skin? Don't you have brains in your heads?
-- ah. I see not all of you do. This is a pointless task, trying to teach the dead and decomposing how to live. I don't see me making much of a difference at all to those so far gone that they are barely rigid. But since I seem to be trapped like a bird in a snare -- or a defenseless child in the clutches of some of the more aggressive trees here -- I might as well continue. At least at the mention of your minds you all seem a little more alive again. I'm glad that there is something in this world that can provoke you all out of your drooling trances, even if it had to be an insult. Unless -- did you just try to gum my thighs, you cretin? It comes as no surprise to me that you're ungrateful creatures. I assure you, though, violence toward me won't end well for you. Remove yourself, or this sword will find itself buried in your mouth.
You see, my people say that our lives, no matter who we are, always come down to just one important moment. I assure you, creatures, if you do not stop sucking on my toes, the climax of your life will come surprisingly fast.
Poll Vote!
Remember!
- Applicants, respond anonymously.
- If you're going to do the whole "ask me if I voted you out!" thing, please state who you voted out.
- No speculating about the identity of the applicants!
Now VOTE. CLOSED!
Character: Ace, the knight of hearts
Series: Heart no kuni no Alice // Alice in the Country of Hearts
Character Age: 23~26
Job: Lost counselor
Canon: Instead of the daydreaming and curious loli depicted by Lewis Carroll, Alice Liddell is jaded, pessimistic and headstrong adolescent taken by force into the Country of Hearts courtesy of White Rabbit express. Forced to drink a mysterious potion, our heroine finds herself unable to leave until she wins the game: to build up relationships with the country's inhabitants and successfully return home. However, the world she's currently visiting is confusing as time periods come at random, going from night to evening to night and then day, and the power hierarchy is so that individuals with faces have no qualm getting rid of the literally faceless ones. The role-holders (or people with faces) she meets are all off their hinges: Peter White, her overaffectionate stalking kidnapper White Rabbit; Blood Dupre, the tea-loving mafia boss Mad Hatter; Elliot March, the carrot cuisine-obsessed mafia Number Two, and more!
Amongst those people she meets, Ace holds the role of knight of hearts, but unlike the other inhabitants of the country, he's rarely stationed at his homebase, the castle of hearts. Instead, Alice encounters him as he tries to find his way to his various destinations, sometimes as he is coming back, sometimes as he sets up camp for the night. The animosity other inhabitants show him even when he tries what he can to befriend them, the assassins Peter-san repeatedly sends after him, and the dangers he faces throughout his 'journeys' are all unfortunate things that he lives through. The easy-going knight takes all of those in stride, calling it fate and laughing it off with a smile permanently etched his face. What darkness lurks behind that cheerful smile is something only few of the other inhabitants know.
Sample Post: Hahaha, I seem to have lost my way again! These instructions to this camping site that Peter-san provided for my errand are so confusing. Not to mention the map he gave with it really isn't helpful when I can't make head or tail of it. That silly rabbit, I thought he knew I couldn't read maps. Ah, but at least he was kind enough to have that escort see me off. It's just too bad I had to dispatch of them, but it wasn't very nice of them to attack me when I had my back turned. I do hope he doesn't get too angry that I'll be late though. Ahahaha~!
Oh well, that's the joy of being on a journey! I can see the beautiful scenery and meet all these friendly animals and people on my way there! It should only take me eleven more days to get there, so that shouldn't be too bad. But, I'm so unlucky. Those gorillas didn't have to chase me away when I stopped by to ask them directions. I wonder why they were so angry at me in the first place. Was it because I took food from their lunch boxes earlier? It looked so good and I was so hungry that I couldn't help myself from taking it. If so, that's so unfair of them. Besides, that big guy didn't look like he was going to eat that bread in the first place, so what does it matter that I took it? Don't they know the joy of sharing your wealth?
Hmm~ Maybe I should have taken that hunting trail at the right after all. It looked like it would've taken me closer to that bright green light I'm seeing over there. Although, a left at this cavern might be better. I'm sure that's a shortcut to the main camp since I can see some light from the other side. What's a campsite without fire? It would be silly not to have fire going when camping.
Oh! What's this, little bird? You're willing to help me get to camp? That's so nice of you! Maybe I'm lucky after all! I knew I'd meet some friendly locals that would lend me a hand. It's just too bad that it's almost night time. I need to set up my tent and get some rest. After all, it wouldn't do for me to be short on sleep before I arrive to my destination. Who knows what adventures I'll go through tomorrow!
Poll Vote!
Name: Michael Jon Carter, AKA Booster Gold
Series: DC Comics
Age: 30s...ish
Job: Marketing and Self-Promotion Spokesman Counselor
Canon: The year is 2462 and football is still America's past time of the future. The name in college football is Gotham U's golden boy, Michael Jon Carter. Unfortunately, being the greedy little glorywhore he is, Mikey does a naughty thing and bets on his own games. Of course, he gets in trouble with the law and ends up being a janitor in a museum specializing in 20th century artifacts. Then Mikey gets an idea: steal things like a flight ring, a forcefield belt and a time machine and travel back to the 20th century to use his knowledge of the future to become the greatest hero of the past! Nothing can possibly go wrong! And it doesn't, for awhile. President Reagan even names him: Booster Gold. But all that glitters isn't gold and Booster has a hard time balancing his reputation with his desire to profit from a traditionally non-profit pursuit.
Booster is that jock. He's meat-headed, low-brow, and oftentimes inappropriate. He says stupid things and does even stupider things, all in the name of attention and fame. He perpetuates a façade of being the funny idiot and will do a lot to keep up that reputation, but in truth, it's all an act. Somewhere in there is a guy who cares and who is a superhero for the right reasons. But having a lot of money can't hurt, which is why he has no problem putting his face on products that range from comic books to cereal to fragrances, or marrying a septuagenarian so that he'll inherit her massive wealth when she eventually croaks-even if it means dressing up as Wonder Woman in the bedroom in the meantime.
Sample Post:
Have you ever found yourself feel unnoticeable, lost in the crowd, and looked over? Have you ever had feelings of inadequacy and doubt? Well, it's probably because you're a loser. But today, with Uncle Booster's Guide to Self-Promotion, produced by the Canadian Films Undercover Division with a mostly-live studio audience, we're going to try to make you, yes you, less of a loser. It is not going to be an easy journey, but Booster Gold doesn't shy away from a challenge. In fact, to prepare for a day of crime-fighting and chick-saving, I start my morning with a great big bowl of Booster Bits Cereal... Guys, seriously? That's what we're calling it? It's bad enough that it tastes like shi-- Oh, we're still rolling! I assume. What with the "undercover" part of that interesting company name, the cameras are embedded in the environment and my director- I don't think that purple gorilla costume is necessary, Barry! Those aren't native to anywhere. Anyway! Booster Bits, the best way to start a morning. That's what I always say! And that's what Sally Ann said last nigh... morning. Awww yeah.
What was I doing? Let's see, I got the name of the producers in there, the name of my cereal... Right! People who suck at not sucking... We can edit this out in post, right? I have an image to maintain here, and it's the kind that can score me a lot of hot chicks. Is anyone actually paying attention to me? Wha-- Now with the crossdressing gorilla suit, Barry? That's just a little over the top. Not that I never suspected you were some kind of frea... Right! Okay, so self-promotion, kids. Really, it boils down to if you got it or you don't got it. I know this video is supposed to teach all you don't-got-its to get it, but it's a lost cause. Trust me. And why wouldn't you trust me? I'm Booster Gold! Sure, my reputation has fallen on rocky times, but this is America, where people believe in redemption and second chances. Of rising from the ashes of your defeat to become an even wealthier and better looking person than before!
Except this is being produced by a Canadian company and... I guess they believe in those things. Except instead of wealth, I'm pretty sure it's flannel. And smoked moose sausages. We can edit that out in post, too, right? Anyone? The Canadian fanbase is really important to my bank-Me. Important to me. Speaking of me, I'm looking at this bird over here. It's the camera, right? Hello! Seriously, I hope you get out of this ninja phase soon. In the future we had floating cameras instead of Toucan Stan and it makes a lot more sense. You know when people are paying attention to you! Look, this is getting hard. And boring. And boring and hard so I'm going to take five. I read in the briefing packet that there's a masseuse here? By the lake? Massages by Marcy. You can find me there, shooting "Uncle Booster's Guide to Self-Promotion... with the ladies".
Poll Vote!
Character: Constable Benton Fraser
Series: Due South
Character Age: approx. 37
Job: Cultural Ambassador
Canon: Due South is the magically realistic story of Constable Benton Fraser of the Royal Canadian Mounted Police, who first traveled to Chicago on the trail of the killers of his father and for reasons that don't need exploring at this juncture, remained, attached as liaison to the Canadian Consulate. Accompanied by his deaf half-wolf Diefenbaker and the Detective Ray Vecchio du jour, he fights crime and holds doors open for old ladies.
In his Red Serge uniform and flat-brimmed Stetson, Fraser climbs every mountain and fords every stream; he believes in the intrinsic goodness of people; he is unceasingly polite; and his eccentricities are consistently explained by dint of his being both Canadian and a Mountie. He has his flaws, of course: he sometimes becomes impatient and snaps at people he is close to; has a razor sharp wit which he often employs to subtly mock; is incredibly bitter when it comes to his father; and threw the only woman he ever loved in jail because it was the right thing to do. And Due South being Due South, he's also haunted by the ghost of his dead dad, who lives in his closet. Like y'do.
Sample Post:
Ah, greetings. I am Constable Benton Fraser of the Royal Canadian Mounted Police. It's my -- ah, Dief, my apologies. And this is Diefenbaker, my half-wolf com -- no, it wasn't my intention to overlook you. Diefenbaker, that offended look will never get you anywhere, as I've said. Now, if I may continue? Yes? Thank you.
Excuse me. As I was saying: it's my pleasure to meet with you this day as a representative of the fine country of Canada, the United States' northerly neighbor, and impart to you cultural knowledge that will both edify and uplift. I plan to, as cultural ambassador to this camp, provide for you an accessible depiction of the differences and, more often, the similarities between the citizens, their societies, and the fascinating flora and fauna of our countries. ... Though the latter-most appears to be the instance where we differ greatly -- ah, regardless! You are surely aware that the city of Vancouver in the province of British Columbia is the host of the Winter Olympics in this year, 2010.
The Olympics, both the summer- and winter-variants, emphasize athleticism and skill, and it is with distinct pride that I find myself with the perfect setting to describe one of Canada's favorite pastimes, a sport more -- oh, no. Not hockey, though it would be egregious of me to imply that the sport of hockey is inferior, and it is one we do share the enjoyment of with our southern neighbors. No, I would like to use this opportunity to describe -- Diefenbaker!
I must apologize, he's rarely this disobedient unless doughnuts are involved. Perhaps he was merely feeling ignored. The flight was overcrowded and I fear he got into some sort of argument with another passenger's poodle -- Dief, come here. And please give me whatever it is you've picked up, thank you. I am in the middle of trying to explain the intricacies of curling to those assembled, and you are proving a distraction of the... oh dear.
Now, there's nothing to fear. Please, remain calm. I'm sure there is a perfectly reasonable explanation as to why, or how, Diefenbaker found a dismembered arm in the middle of a presentation on curling, and what is important is that we retain our heads until we are able to reach that explanation. There is no need to shout or, as it were, groan. Buck Frobisher, a stalwart member of the RCMP and a friend of the family's who also bears a vague resemblance to the Canadian actor Leslie Nielsen, once said that it is far more important to --
Diefenbaker! It is impossible to keep one's head when you take it from their... body...
Oh dear.
Poll Vote!
Character Name: Ray Kowalski
Series: Due South
Age: 37
Job: Token Hapless Detective
Canon: Due South is a magical realism show where Mounties see their dead dads, deaf wolves can lip-read, and a primary cast member can be brazenly recast mid-series and nobody bats an eye. Stanley Raymond Kowalski is that insane casting decision. Brought in for the third season, Ray Kowalski is the new detective posing as Ray Vecchio who takes over while Vecchio goes undercover. In taking over Vecchio's old life, he becomes partners with Benton Fraser, Canadian Liason Extraordinaire and they form a new kind of partnership that grows over the course of the series. Kowalski is volatile, probably has ADHD, and is both very protective and extremely insecure, which apparently is what makes Benton Fraser ride off into the sunset with you. Go figure.
Sample Entry:
So this is the DARE program, okay? Or... UN-DARE? Whatever, I've done this before. This is easy-peasy, aunt louise-y. I'm gonna talk, you're gonna get a t-shirt and then I get to go home. I mean, you lose one case file and boom! You're in, you're out, you're shipped out to the boonies or the jungle part of Skokie to do whatever hoodoo you do to get a misdemeanor to show back up in your filing cabinet. I figure you kids can figure most of this junk out on your own and I'll get back to doing some real work real soon.
Listen up! I got an appointment to make with a guy way crazier than you, so we're gonna bust through this and I'm gonna go home. I'm Detective Ray and you're some kids and that's all we got to cover right now. There is three- no, five- no, six! Six things you gotta remember.
One is you can't do drugs. Drugs are bad, drugs are a big problemo, drugs are probably the least of anyone's problems but hey. Two and three are something about not eating green dirt or grey matter so we're gonna skip that one because, man, green dirt? So here we got four.... aaaand I can't make out four but it's something about the outhouse so I figure you gotta clean the outhouse sometime. Do that.
I'm not even reading five because who here cares? Not me! Not you! Not your Uncle Paul who acts a little fishy here and there! But if you really wanna know it probably says 'be nice to animals' so don't be a jerk to your dog or something.
Six is.... 'Run'? 'Run, Stanley, run as fast as you can'? Seriously? Ha ha, who's the funny guy here? 'Braaaains'? Yeah, well brains to your mom, too, buddy! LOADS of brains!
Poll Vote!
Character: Tyki Mikk
Series: D. Gray-man
Character Age: 26
Job: Senior Dumpster Diving Instructor
Canon: The Victorian Era: an era of prosperity, corsets, cravats, revolution, child labor and...demons? Set in the end of a fictional 19th century, where "fictional" is used quite liberally, the world is in mortal peril, threatened by the Millennium Earl and the Noah Clan, his personal twelve-man army. Where there's evil, there must be good, and the Earl is opposed by the Exorcists of the Black Order, holy warriors chosen to wield Innocence, a powerful substance created long ago in order to fight the Earl in the first place.
Which is where Tyki plays in, more than living up to his role as the Noah of Pleasure. One the one hand, he's a care-free sort of guy who lives the life of a drifter, traveling from job to job with his human friends, cheating people at cards, and barely making ends meet. He’s casual in speech, mannerisms, dress, and everything in between. On the other hand, as a Noah, he turns from a lazy, laid-back hobo into an equally lazy killer. He enjoys getting a reaction out of his victims, teasing them mercilessly. He takes great joy in killing, and despite trying to show a bit of compassion at times, he tends to indulge himself in the battle. Ruthless and vicious, he has no qualms with killing in any manner of horrifying ways. He enjoys living a dual life, being both a normal human and a murderous Noah, and values both lifestyles, taking care that he doesn't mix the two and compromise his ability to live as a human. All the same, just as much as he cares about his human friends, he cares about his Noah "family" as well, albeit sometimes grudgingly.
Note: to hopefully avoid plot-related issues, he’ll be taken from just before the current manga arc.
Sample Post: Summer camp, huh? When they said there was a job out here, I was thinking it might be worth my while. Now, Miss Director, let's get a few things straight here. Don't go thinking you're going to put this all on me. I just can't help but notice that your little summer camp here has a few...issues. Now, I know what you're going to say, "a good employee wouldn't complain," right? Don't get me wrong, I'm trying here, truly I am. Cross my heart and all that. I'm an honest guy trying to earn an honest living, after all. It's just that there's only so much I can work with, and if half these kids look like they belong in a dumpster themselves, how do you expect me to do my job effectively? If I can't tell the one from the other, there's gonna be problems, and with the way these fellas are fallin' apart on me, don't blame me if Tall Dark and Gruesome over here gets thrown out with yesterday's lunch, eh?
And speaking of lunch...how 'bout we start with lesson number one: rustling up some grub. I know, I know it's nothing compared to a nice filet mignon and glass or five of a nice pinot noir, but it'll do in a pinch, right? Any volunteers? Anyone? No? Well I couldn't expect much from you lot. Between the big hairy fellow and the lad who can't seem to keep his head on straight--it's slipped off to the left again, by the way, you might want to push it a couple inches to the right--you're not exactly the most promising group. You do know that even a child can do this, right? Go on, just get right in there. It’s not difficult, is it? Someone was even nice enough to design it with a ladder, right there on the front! They must’ve been thinkin’ of us when they made it. Get up there, climb right on in. There’s nothing to be afraid of...most likely.
No again? Well aren't you an animated bunch. Must I do everything myself? Now see here, if you'd just bothered to look, you'd have found these perfectly fine coffee grounds! ...at least I'm pretty sure they're coffee grounds. They're movin' around a little too much for my taste, but no matter. We'll find out in short order. We'll just have to see if we can't find a pot, and strike up a--well now, a plate of freshly baked cookies, still warm, even! Don’t mind if I do. A rare find, but it just goes to show what sort of things are in here, if you just dig a little. Let’s see here, what else have we--what's this? Now, who puts a perfectly good, dead alligator in the trash? Maybe it has some strange, unnatural appendages growing out of its stomach, sure, but it's still good. We'll just put that one aside for later. Maybe you can see what I mean now? There’s a vast variety of wonders to be had, if you just take the time to look.
So now that you've got the idea of what you can find, I think it's time to put these new skills to use. A little hard work never hurt anyone, so you all go practice your foraging skills for four or five hours. Meanwhile I’ll go test how sturdy that tree over there is, alright? If I look asleep, I assure you, it's merely a series of rigorous tests designed to make sure that it's stable enough so that I can stay up and away from the rest of you. Got it? Still no? My, my, you really aren’t the most intelligent lot, are you? Well, you’re on your own now. Just consider this a learning experience...one in which I won't be participating.
Poll Vote!
Name/Alias: Emma Frost
Series: Uncanny X-Men, Astonishing X-Men, All of the 'Insert Superlative Here' X-Men comics, basically.
Character Age: It remains general at best, but the consensus is somewhere in her late twenties to early thirties.
Job: Instructor of Gifted Campers (meaning any kids with special powers) but she only really cares about the mutants.
Canon: In the world of the X-Men, there are good mutants and bad mutants. However, Emma Frost falls somewhere in between those two classifications. A reformed 'villain' and former leader of a hedonistic secret society, Emma is now, of all things, a headmistress striving to protect her students from a world that fears and hates them.
Her efforts to educate and protect her students have been controversial to say the least. Many students have died on her watch, and she has done some horrible things to protect the remainder of the next (and possibly last) generation of mutants. These things include deceiving loved ones, killing in cold blood, and using her immense telepathic powers to mind-rape those who try to do her and her pupils harm. Much of this has been done in front of the very students she seeks to keep out of harm's way.
As a person, Emma is intelligent, scheming, and tries to give the air of being in complete control of all that goes on around her. Even in the midst of battle she maintains a put-together appearance, wearing couture bondage outfits as armor, and lecturing people as she puts them through psychic torture. She detests things going in any direction other than her way, and acts as if her students and allies and anyone else, really will fall into line with just one glare.
Despite her cold attitude and willingness to treat other people as pawns, Emma really does believe in the ideals her allies preach. She hopes to create a better world, even if it requires some unethical action to get there.
Sample Post:
Good evening, I am Emma Frost. From today onwards, I will be your instructor, counselor, and the one legally responsible for you. I can hear the mental groaning about being 'babysat' already, so let me tell you this very important fact, here and now. You are all beneath me, and, given the choice, I would rather cuddle with the zombies. I am here out of necessity.
A handful of campers here in this slime-drenched excuse for a recreational facility were students of mine previous to their stay here. They also represent the last of a dying race, and to answer the question I just heard one of you thinking, no, that race is not 'furries'. I know what those are, and have no intention of ever letting one near me. Anyone who thinks otherwise will have their psyches popped like soap bubbles. Understood? Good, moving on. The race I am speaking of is the race of 'Homo Surperior', also known as 'Mutants'. The students who fall under that label are not only my primary concern, but my only concern.
This means, unfortunately for those of you who are not mutants, that you will not receive tutelage of any sort from me. I have neither the qualifications or the energy to deal with some the 'special talents' the rest of you display. special talents like what? If you get yourself into trouble, I will make sure you are not irreperably damaged, but make no mistake, it is because I do not want to face the ramifications of more children dying under my watch. Otherwise you are on your own. I am not your friend, your mother, or your leader. I am legally cuplable for your wellbeing. Nothing more, nothing less.
The only comfort I can offer you is a list of things you should not do if you wish to avoid my wrath. These things are:
- Pick fights with other campers. I do not care if they 'badtouched' you. If I find you fighting, I will touch you very badly indeed. Now please stop getting excited by that prospect. It was meant to be a threat.
- Attempt to brainwash, dissect, modify, or otherwise alter your fellow campers. Believe me, I have tried the 'mindslave' approach to making friends. It loses its novelty quickly.
- Perform arcane rites on campgrounds. This includes sacrifices, orgies, and that odd 'cosplay' thing so many of you seem to like. My thigh-high boots are part of a uniform. Yours' are not. End of story.
This concludes our first session. I hope you all learned something.
Poll Vote!
Character: Nariko
Series: Heavenly Sword
Character Age: 23
Counselor Job Bad End Coordinator
Canon: Stick Devil May Cry and God of War together and add a healthy dose of a preventional tale of why it is bad to touch strange men's swords, and the result is Heavenly Sword, which begins in a far off time and place; where a vagabond clan has guarded the weapon of a heavenly warrior for centuries. The Heavenly Sword grants the user great power, but eventually kills them. The clan leads a wanderer's life, waiting for the rebirth of the holy warrior, who would take up the sword and defeat the clan's enemies. However, nothing ever works out simply. Instead of the anticipated male child, Nariko was born instead. Ostracized and bred into a warrior by Shen, her disappointed father, Nariko grows up to fight for the clan nonetheless. Heavenly Sword's story starts at the moment of her death at the hands of the sword, and works backward.
Nariko herself grows up to be a practical and straightfoward, with a hefty dose of sass and a strong grasp of military tactics. Proficient with a variety of weapons, she was pretty much raised to be a killing machine - yet, instead of becoming hard or cold, she is a fiery, passionate woman, never afraid to answer back, to give her point of view, or to mock and intimidate her enemies. While she does have a sense of humour, she is also sensible and intelligent, with a deep-ground desire to protect her family - her father, and a young girl she found in the wilds, Kai - and a massive presence of will. It is that strength which pushes her to overthrow the evil King Bohan's empire practically alone with the aid of the sword.
Sample Post:
When my time of dying came upon me, I thought I would understand my own end. I hadn't wanted to die. I still don't want to die, but I had come to think of death as something inescapable. I'd wondered, time and again over those final days, just what it would be like; I hadn't known what to expect.
Perhaps, when you know the path of your own fate, change is difficult to accept. But still, I never expected this. This place is more debauched fantasy than haven! Yet, while your irritatingly blank stares are focused on me - at least, those of you who have eyes - this is exactly why I decided to tell such a thing to all of you: you can never be entirely sure of where your end will come. But one thing I do know is this: from the moment I took the power of that sword into me, I was cursed to die an unnatural death. By the looks of all of you, it seems you are suffering from a similar problem. You undead, forced to live beyond your time, with no possible future ... I can almost sympathize, but look at how you people behave! Don't shuffle about and let yourselves fall apart, chewing on each other's extremities. It's as if you're waiting to die! If there's a fight to be fought, don't give in, even if your body is ... drooping. I've been watching you all, how you eat the weaker members of your society. Those of you who are weaker should keep fighting. If you lose your arms, use your legs. If you lose your legs, then bite their legs off if you have to. If you like the taste of flesh so much, chew down to the bones! If you know that your life will end bleakly, then fight to your last breath. Or ... your last death rattle. Are you not still alive, under that half-attached skin? Don't you have brains in your heads?
-- ah. I see not all of you do. This is a pointless task, trying to teach the dead and decomposing how to live. I don't see me making much of a difference at all to those so far gone that they are barely rigid. But since I seem to be trapped like a bird in a snare -- or a defenseless child in the clutches of some of the more aggressive trees here -- I might as well continue. At least at the mention of your minds you all seem a little more alive again. I'm glad that there is something in this world that can provoke you all out of your drooling trances, even if it had to be an insult. Unless -- did you just try to gum my thighs, you cretin? It comes as no surprise to me that you're ungrateful creatures. I assure you, though, violence toward me won't end well for you. Remove yourself, or this sword will find itself buried in your mouth.
You see, my people say that our lives, no matter who we are, always come down to just one important moment. I assure you, creatures, if you do not stop sucking on my toes, the climax of your life will come surprisingly fast.
Poll Vote!