(no subject)
OH GOD. BIZ. POSTING APPS?!?!?!?!?!?
Let's count my mistakes!
Character: Yuffie Kisaragi
Series: Final Fantasy VII; videogame (http://www.peach-arrow.net/ff7/)
Character Age: 16 (note: +2 if you go by Advent Children-verse.)
Canon: Yuffie is a teenage ninja (turtle) slash thieving klepto-monster, though the two terms are usually synonymous with one another. She is one of two optional 'secret' characters in the game, and as such, is not pivotal to the storyline, but does add to it with her unique charm. The player discovers her as a regular enemy in a forest - you must actually defeat her in battle, then flatter her senseless while she steals all your money. Yuffie comes from a long line of warriors in her hometown Wutai, and will probably be the reluctant ruler of it when her father, Lord Godo, passes away. As is typical of one in her age group, she is relatively simple in her way of thinking and acting. While she is often mistakenly painted by her comrades as a bratty thief with a serious lack of depth, Yuffie is quite content with that description and even goes to certain lengths to encourage the idea. After all, she is young and lively, and can still get away with outbursts like "OH MY GAWD". Undearneath it all, she cares. Really. There is a strong, emotional person underneath the immaturity and selfish needs. Although she did help out in saving the world from a silver-haired sadist (search keywords: Sephiroth, not Dilandou, no pr0n plz) and a really really big flying space rock, at the end of the day, she is still merely a teenage girl: crushin' on boys, picking daisies, stickin' it to THE MAN (with kamikaze-style shurikens).
You know what? Fuck Godo. FUCK HIM UP THE BUNS. I swear, when I get home (it's probably IF I get home, the zombies are slow but them purple gorillas have got some uh, libido or something powering them) I'm taking Cid's rusty spear right up the old man's wrinkly ninja-bum. I will achieve suitable revenge and also figure out whether there's already a stick lodged up there, as I have been suspecting for OH I DON'T KNOW MY ENTIRE LIFE.
Right, so, the summer camp? Which was Godo's brilliant idea, as we had just had one of our totally awesome screaming matches and I was just getting ready for my semi-annual pilgrimage, in which Lord Godo gets into a fit while I cozy up various comrades' pads (although this usually doesn't include Vinny, because he lives in a coffin and that is gross.) but NO, Lord Robotard starts going on about "building character" and next thing I know I've been sentenced to a zombie-infested character enrichment program. And it's not like a problem -- I can totally kick those zombies, piece of cake, right, because I am a fuckin' NINJA. But. Gawd.
Speaking of ninja, there is a huge excess of them here. And they are all somewhat more hardcore than me (pfft, YEAHRIGHT) what with the coordinating jumpsuit outfits and organized clans, and ugh I totally bet they're the snobby kind of ninja, you know, they probably look at my awesome yellow sneakers with disdain, like. I hope some of them get eaten soon, can't have too many ninja running around, dick-measuring each other's throwing stars all the time - OGOD WAS THAT A TENTACLE IN THE LAKE? GROSS-NESS. Well, now I know I am in serious danger guys, am I right or am I right.
I'm not scared! I'll say that outright, and because I know everyone'll think it back home - I can just see the letter they get, 'Hey guys, it's me Yuffie! Summer camp rocks, we're making tons of lanyards and shit. Oh and by the way could you come and pick me up soon because there is a fucking ZOMBIE JAILBREAK, it is chaos here and I wonder if you could send Vincent over, like, maybe vampires versus zombies = ULTIMATE SHOWDOWNNN but I'm not picky, send Sephiroth's dead corpse for all I care, I'll use it as a raft to get across the lake and out of here. Oh yeah, did I tell you, I learned how to row a canoe! XOXOXO Love, Yuf'. Because that isn't happening. Yuffie, Materia Thief Extraordinaire, is a survivor. BRING IT, motherfunkers!
Poll So.
Name: Rhode Camelot
Age: Looks maybe 15?
Series: D.
Gray-man
Canon: (WARNING: Series spoilers.) D. Gray-man is a fairly apocolyptic series, all in all. Living weapons called 'Akuma' (it's easiest to think of them as demons) are killing humans in order to gain power. The exorcists destroy the Akuma, and are trying to gather and protect the 'Innocence'. If they fail, it's the end of the world. Rhode is one of those psycho-villains we all know and love. She's part of a family that is helping the Millenium Earl, who is the creator of the Akuma. The family's goal is the end of all humanity, despite being somewhat human themselves. Rhode is sadistic with a childish twist -- she'd love to play with you, but her kind of games include blood, maiming, and murder.
I have a serious complaint about this place. Your finger-paint is so
very low-grade; first, there's not enough of it, and second, it's
already dead and congealed and that doesn't spread very well. Couldn't
you supply something a little more warm-blooded? I have to finish my
mural. "Fuck all exorci" simply won't do, they're not clever enough to
fill in the blanks.
I'm Rhode Camelot, apostle of God sent to end all humanity. That's
your reward for breeding like rabbits all these years. And don't you
worthless humans start the running and screaming and panicking routine
-- that gets so boring the fourth or fifth or four-hundred and
sevety-eighth time. You'd think you insignificant beings would have
come up with something new by now -- you've got no imagination at all.
The story isn't very interesting if it's full of cliches.
I was also hoping to add to my doll collection, because I couldn't
really bring any of my old ones. It's fun: I get to dress you up in
pretty clothes and do your hair. All it'll cost you is a bit of damage
to the brain or nervous system. That wouldn't be a great loss, now
would it? In fact I think it would be an improvement. Anyway,
it's not like you have a say in how this goes. I'm missing out on the
Millenium Count's plans for this, so it's got to be worth my while.
This place has been a real let-down -- that tentacle monster? Soooooo
boring. Might be better if he exploded on command.
Poll So.
Character: Weber, Kurz
Series: Full Metal Panic the Anime, FMP Fumoffu, and the FMP Novels
Character Age: 19
Canon: Kurz is just your average teenager, complete with raging hormones, an overly large ego, and excellent sniping skills. Okay, not so average then. He’s actually a comrade of Sousuke’s, who is practically the opposite of the fun-loving Kurz, although he’s significantly better at mixing in with "normal" people.
Despite his status as a first-class pervert in FMP (he’s only slightly behind the lovable Miroku), Kurz is actually a pretty cool kinda guy. He’ll stick up for his friends, he’s really trustworthy/loyal, and he’s slightly more normal than ¾ of the camp here BONUS!. Kurz is pretty much the life of the party and likes to keep things lighthearted and fun, although he does have his fair share of the emo.
(The “Big Sis” he’s talking about is another compadre of Sousuke and his. It’s his lil nickname for her. Not related at all, m’kay? Also, the "princess" is the captainess and she has a pretty huge crush on the dense-as-heck Sousuke.)
Sample post:
Ah, summer camp! Where the food’s plentiful, the ladies are beautiful, and I can just sit back and relax~!
Or that’s what I would like to say. What’s with this camp? Not only do they not have a decent lake for the girls to skinny-dip in (the number one must-see attraction in any decent camp), all the hot ones seem to not want me! But that’s impossible. Even Big Sis can’t resist my charms although she’d probably beat the crap outta me for saying that! Don’t give up, Kurz. You’re good looking enough to be on the front page of "Tag", so the girls will soon come after you. Yeah, they’ll be lured in like bees to sweet honey. Busty, sexy bees that is.
Oh yeah, almost forgot. Hey, Sousuke! Have you found Angel yet? The princess back at the base is waiting for her knight in shining armor to get back. And you know what the princess awards the knight with upon seeing him~ But we don’t have to hurry. We can get going just as soon as I check out the babes at the hot springs (the number two must-see attraction). Heh. And what’s this I heard about you getting married to 3 other campers? You horndog, you~
Poll So.
Character: Seiya
Series: Saint Seiya (Knights of the Zodiac)
Character Age: 13
Canon: Saint Seiya or Knights of the Zodiac is one of those 80's anime with ridiculously overpowered characters and long redundant dialogue. It is about a group of guardians whose duty is to protect Saori Kido, the reincarnation of the Greek goddess Athena. There are bronze, silver and gold saints, and each has a cloth that represents a constellation.
Seiya is the pegasus' bronze saint and the main character of the series. He is naive, annoying and incredibly loyal. He is also pretty slow, but not as dumb as he may appear. Among his abilities are a number of fist attacks with fancy names, being able to cry rivers while talking normally, state the glaringly obvious and repeat what others say in the form of questions (What? in the form of questions?), and bleed eight times his body weight. He is also a shounen retard.
Hi! I'm Seiya, I just got here. I have a problem, Saori-san told me to come here and relax, but I was bored so after getting a tent up I went to train and I left a big bronze box and it kinda disappeared... Okay, not really disappeared-disappeared, more like taken away by like, birds. And y'know what's funny? This is a heavy bronze-box, and they were like tiny birds, so yeah... If anyone sees two tiny birds carrying a big bronze box let me know? I kinda want it back... Soooo I'm Pegasus' Seiya, did I say that already? It's cool to meet you all and I know I should be relaxing, but if anyone wants a fight I'd like to learn cool new moves.
OI! WAIT! THAT'S MINE!!... Hey, did you know there are purple gorillas here? they're like purple, I'd never seen purple gorillas before, also they opened my box, did you know they could open boxes? and they're quick, I couldn't catch the one that stole my tiara. But I got back the rest of it... forget about the tiny birds, if you see a purple gorilla wearing a bronze tiara let me know, okay?
So, I should tell you 'bout myself, right? I'm Seiya and I'm japanese but I trained in Greece, my job is to guard Athena but she sent me on vacation and said something about battles to come and... hey guys, did you know there's a tree that grows underwear?
Poll So.
Character: Tendou Akane
Series: Ranma 1/2. Here is here is the specific article on Akane.
Character Age: 17
Canon: Tendou Akane was a pretty and cheerful
sixteen year old martial artist with a few small
problems - trying to deal with a persistent crush on a
family friend, having to avoid the captain of the
school kendo team and his crush on her, having to beat
up the school's male population every morning over
something said kendo team captain said - when her
father's friend and his son came to stay. In a few
short hours, she discovered that she was betrothed to
a boy who turned into a girl with cold water, that her
sensei hadn't been seriously training her for years,
and that her sisters would cheerfully dump her off at
the first opportunity. And from there it got worse;
she found herself living in a hurricane of chaos,
surrounded by wildly powerful martial artists, witness
to incredible battles, and somehow managing to attract
the romantic attentions of almost all the male ones.
At the same time her 'fiance' picked up three other
fiancees of his own. All Akane wanted was to grow up,
be a good martial artist and inherit her father's
dojo; instead she got the definition of insanity.
I should mention that I'm apping post-series
manga!Akane here and the remainder of the description
applies to manga!Akane. She is quite different in the
anime in a number of subtle but profound ways.
Tendou Akane is best described as 'impetuous'. She is
friendly and always attempts to make friends with
other characters first, if she is given the
opportunity. The most prominent exceptions are
Shampoo and Kuno Kodachi, and in both cases, both
girls attacked Akane on their first meeting before she
could even say 'Hi'. Akane does not attack without
provocation. Admittedly provocation can be pretty
tenuous (eg, Ranma popping up nude on the womens' side
of the baths, whilst pursuing Happousai) but she
always has a reason to nail Ranma
Kuno Happousai the
object of her wrath. She is proficient with various
forms of weaponry and has been known to use dumbells,
swords, bows, statues and the kitchen table as well as
her signature mallet, all of which she has the ability
to pull out of thin air. (Various theories on how she
can do that vary from an instinctive ability to access
subspace pockets to her forging the weapon on the spot
out of her chi; it's never explained in canon and it's
generally accepted that Akane herself doesn't know how
she does it either, she simply does it.) She gets
angry very quickly but her anger dissipates just as
fast and while she often finds it very hard to
apologise she generally does so. She is incredibly
forgiving; the words 'I'm sorry' said to her will
always be accepted.
Akane attracts all the boys as a matter of course and
never really recognises or realizes that they're
following her around like puppies. Okay, the constant
kidnappings are a bit of a clue, but she tends to put
them into one of two categories: either a) the
kidnapper is trying to get to Ranma and he thinks that
because they're engaged Ranma will come after her
(which is pretty accurate, actually), or b) they have
to marry a woman under certain conditions and she
happens to fit the criteria. However it tends to be
made very clear that within a short time Akane has won
the boy, by a combination of her physical charms, her
friendliness, and (in at least one case) her
willingness to stand up and scold the guy.
One major difference between manga!Akane and
anime!Akane is that, in the manga, Akane is Ranma's
friend. She bandages Ranma's wounds, has fairly
friendly conversations with him, confides in him about
a lot of things, and basically only fights with him
when he insults her (which is pretty often, yes, but
she doesn't start it) and actually only clobbers him
when he physically touches her first (the story where
Shampoo feeds Ranma the magic mushrooms that compel
him to hug anyone who sneezes, on an afternoon when he
and Akane are home alone and Akane has the flu, is a
fairly good example).
Akane also is friends with other women. Shampoo,
Kodachi and Shiratori Asuza are about the only girls
in the entire series she doesn't get along with, and
that's only because all three attacked her on their
first meeting and have continued to do so at later
encounters. Akane and Ukyo get along pretty well and
Ukyo has attempted to teach Akane to cook.
Oh, yes. The other part. Akane can't cook. She has
been described as the Anti-Cook, but that's not quite
correct. Her general cooking won't kill you, just
make you feel extremely ill and throw up. She can,
however, boil water, cook plain rice, and produce a
decent curry. Anything else and you're asking for
trouble. She will attempt to cook if asked to
and if you ask, you had better be prepared to eat.
You've heard the saying: "You have two menu options
for dinner this evening: take it or leave it"? You
can cross off the second option. Mallet-sama awaits
those who try it.
Sample Post:
Dad and Uncle Saotome have really done it to me this
time! First Dad makes me go on a solo training trip -
I had things I wanted to do with my friends this New
Years'! - just because Ranma is on one. Then this
morning I woke up from my first night out to find this
notebook and a letter from the camp director sitting
beside me, telling me I've been enrolled in the Camp
Fuckudie (how is that pronounced? Foo-koo-dee?
It can't be the other way. Nobody would name a
training camp that, no matter how little
English they know) Martial Arts Training Camp.
Still. This can be good. I can make it good. I live
with Ranma and I still have a normal life. Outside of
home, anyway.
Were those zombies? I know those were gorillas. But
aren't gorillas a protected species? I think it's
illegal to kill them, or something. So I guess it's a
good thing about the gun. I just hope I don't have to
explain to anyone about it. My mallet was much more
effective anyway.
I haven't done melee fighting like that for almost a
year, and I forgot how much of a pain it was.
Even if I did have my mallet this time.
But anyway, the note said I had to introduce myself.
Hello everyone! I'm Tendou Akane, of the Tendou
Anything-Goes School of Martial Arts. I'm seventeen,
I come from Nerima, and my ambition this year is to
learn to cook something other than curry, rice, and
instant foods!
I know that's an odd ambition to have, here in a
martial arts training camp, but I'm not the best
martial artist in the world (hey, at least I
admit it) and I know I'm not ever going to be. But
I'm a good martial artist (if you meet a boy
called Saotome Ranma, don't listen to him about that)
and while I'm learning new things here, why should I
limit myself to new fighting techniques? I
will learn to cook, and I will make
Ranma admit that I can!
It'll be interesting to train with other people. I've
been training by myself for the past five years, with
a few lessons in some specialised techniques from my
friend Hibiki Ryouga. I hope I'll be a good student.
Can anyone tell me what the basic rating system is
here? I've been training all year but Anything Goes
doesn't really have a dan structure to compare with
other styles, so I tend to rate on basis of results.
What's the dan rank for taking out... um... sixty
zombies and sevente- hang on a sec.
Sorry, where was I? Oh yes - eighteen gorillas, now.
In... er... six minutes, plus or minus ten seconds?
(I am getting slow. Maybe Dad and Uncle
Saotome were right to send me here.)
Also, if anyone could tell me where the bathing
facilities are, I'd be really grateful. Some of those
zombies oozed. Ick.
Poll So.
Character: Holy Girl Iron Maiden Jeanne
Series: Shaman King
Character Age: 11 to 12 in the manga
Canon: Iron Maiden Jeanne is the leader of the group the X-Laws. The X-Laws are a religious sort of shaman group. (X is for ten, Law is for law or commandment, s is making it plural). The X-Laws’ main goal is to eliminate the shaman Asakura Hao, for a world where injustice no longer exists and will stop at nothing to do so.
She earned the name ‘Iron Maiden’ because she spends most of her time in an Iron Maiden, which is a Middle-Age torture device, to increase her strength. Jeanne will stop at nothing to accomplish her goals, no matter who dies in the process. People who see her at first and hear about her goals, on the contrary, have compared her to a saint, because of her talk of peace.
And as a side note, kyonshii… are pretty much zombies. Shamash is Jeanne’s guardian spirit.
One of the people I had to fight (and unfortunately, bring to justice and kill) said that girls like me should be writing diaries and being happy. And while being happy could interfere with my training and plans, I suppose keeping this diary at camp won’t.
It is a strange place, this Camp Fuck You Die. I wonder what this might have to do with defeating Hao, but I’m sure it’s for the best. You have to suffer to get stronger, there is not much choice. I have to show my determination. I MUST LIVE THROUGH THIS CAMP IN ORDER TO DEFEAT HAO. FOR PEACE.
There are creatures here that look vaguely like kyonshii, the kind that Tao girl uses to fight. But these aren’t controlled by talismans, and are roaming around everywhere. One of them came up to me and said ‘braaaaaiiins.’ This kyonshii, or ‘zombie’ as the campers say, has no sense of justice. It isn’t exactly fair to just to start a fight when your opponent’s back is turned. It is a very sad sort of camp, very brutal: The campers seem to be unfair with the zombies too, and shooting are them in the eye sockets.
It is indeed a world of darkness. Don’t they realize that those zombies simply haven’t seen the light of justice? Therefore, I take it upon myself as my mission to FILL THESE ZOMBIES WITH PEACE.. It is one step closer to my ultimate goal.
This camp by itself helps too. Since from what I’ve seen, this camp functions as well as an iron maiden in terms of torture. Now, what should I do next? They say there’s a ghost at this lake, perhaps I can oversoul it, in absence of Shamash-was that a squid? Or a crocodile? Oh… oh dear, that does look these crocodiles are very nice… and I think that looks like… Oh dear, I’ll have to show the squids here the light of justice, too…
Poll So.
Let's count my mistakes!
Character: Yuffie Kisaragi
Series: Final Fantasy VII; videogame (http://www.peach-arrow.net/ff7/)
Character Age: 16 (note: +2 if you go by Advent Children-verse.)
Canon: Yuffie is a teenage ninja (turtle) slash thieving klepto-monster, though the two terms are usually synonymous with one another. She is one of two optional 'secret' characters in the game, and as such, is not pivotal to the storyline, but does add to it with her unique charm. The player discovers her as a regular enemy in a forest - you must actually defeat her in battle, then flatter her senseless while she steals all your money. Yuffie comes from a long line of warriors in her hometown Wutai, and will probably be the reluctant ruler of it when her father, Lord Godo, passes away. As is typical of one in her age group, she is relatively simple in her way of thinking and acting. While she is often mistakenly painted by her comrades as a bratty thief with a serious lack of depth, Yuffie is quite content with that description and even goes to certain lengths to encourage the idea. After all, she is young and lively, and can still get away with outbursts like "OH MY GAWD". Undearneath it all, she cares. Really. There is a strong, emotional person underneath the immaturity and selfish needs. Although she did help out in saving the world from a silver-haired sadist (search keywords: Sephiroth, not Dilandou, no pr0n plz) and a really really big flying space rock, at the end of the day, she is still merely a teenage girl: crushin' on boys, picking daisies, stickin' it to THE MAN (with kamikaze-style shurikens).
You know what? Fuck Godo. FUCK HIM UP THE BUNS. I swear, when I get home (it's probably IF I get home, the zombies are slow but them purple gorillas have got some uh, libido or something powering them) I'm taking Cid's rusty spear right up the old man's wrinkly ninja-bum. I will achieve suitable revenge and also figure out whether there's already a stick lodged up there, as I have been suspecting for OH I DON'T KNOW MY ENTIRE LIFE.
Right, so, the summer camp? Which was Godo's brilliant idea, as we had just had one of our totally awesome screaming matches and I was just getting ready for my semi-annual pilgrimage, in which Lord Godo gets into a fit while I cozy up various comrades' pads (although this usually doesn't include Vinny, because he lives in a coffin and that is gross.) but NO, Lord Robotard starts going on about "building character" and next thing I know I've been sentenced to a zombie-infested character enrichment program. And it's not like a problem -- I can totally kick those zombies, piece of cake, right, because I am a fuckin' NINJA. But. Gawd.
Speaking of ninja, there is a huge excess of them here. And they are all somewhat more hardcore than me (pfft, YEAHRIGHT) what with the coordinating jumpsuit outfits and organized clans, and ugh I totally bet they're the snobby kind of ninja, you know, they probably look at my awesome yellow sneakers with disdain, like. I hope some of them get eaten soon, can't have too many ninja running around, dick-measuring each other's throwing stars all the time - OGOD WAS THAT A TENTACLE IN THE LAKE? GROSS-NESS. Well, now I know I am in serious danger guys, am I right or am I right.
I'm not scared! I'll say that outright, and because I know everyone'll think it back home - I can just see the letter they get, 'Hey guys, it's me Yuffie! Summer camp rocks, we're making tons of lanyards and shit. Oh and by the way could you come and pick me up soon because there is a fucking ZOMBIE JAILBREAK, it is chaos here and I wonder if you could send Vincent over, like, maybe vampires versus zombies = ULTIMATE SHOWDOWNNN but I'm not picky, send Sephiroth's dead corpse for all I care, I'll use it as a raft to get across the lake and out of here. Oh yeah, did I tell you, I learned how to row a canoe! XOXOXO Love, Yuf'. Because that isn't happening. Yuffie, Materia Thief Extraordinaire, is a survivor. BRING IT, motherfunkers!
Poll So.
Name: Rhode Camelot
Age: Looks maybe 15?
Series: D.
Gray-man
Canon: (WARNING: Series spoilers.) D. Gray-man is a fairly apocolyptic series, all in all. Living weapons called 'Akuma' (it's easiest to think of them as demons) are killing humans in order to gain power. The exorcists destroy the Akuma, and are trying to gather and protect the 'Innocence'. If they fail, it's the end of the world. Rhode is one of those psycho-villains we all know and love. She's part of a family that is helping the Millenium Earl, who is the creator of the Akuma. The family's goal is the end of all humanity, despite being somewhat human themselves. Rhode is sadistic with a childish twist -- she'd love to play with you, but her kind of games include blood, maiming, and murder.
I have a serious complaint about this place. Your finger-paint is so
very low-grade; first, there's not enough of it, and second, it's
already dead and congealed and that doesn't spread very well. Couldn't
you supply something a little more warm-blooded? I have to finish my
mural. "Fuck all exorci" simply won't do, they're not clever enough to
fill in the blanks.
I'm Rhode Camelot, apostle of God sent to end all humanity. That's
your reward for breeding like rabbits all these years. And don't you
worthless humans start the running and screaming and panicking routine
-- that gets so boring the fourth or fifth or four-hundred and
sevety-eighth time. You'd think you insignificant beings would have
come up with something new by now -- you've got no imagination at all.
The story isn't very interesting if it's full of cliches.
I was also hoping to add to my doll collection, because I couldn't
really bring any of my old ones. It's fun: I get to dress you up in
pretty clothes and do your hair. All it'll cost you is a bit of damage
to the brain or nervous system. That wouldn't be a great loss, now
would it? In fact I think it would be an improvement. Anyway,
it's not like you have a say in how this goes. I'm missing out on the
Millenium Count's plans for this, so it's got to be worth my while.
This place has been a real let-down -- that tentacle monster? Soooooo
boring. Might be better if he exploded on command.
Poll So.
Character: Weber, Kurz
Series: Full Metal Panic the Anime, FMP Fumoffu, and the FMP Novels
Character Age: 19
Canon: Kurz is just your average teenager, complete with raging hormones, an overly large ego, and excellent sniping skills. Okay, not so average then. He’s actually a comrade of Sousuke’s, who is practically the opposite of the fun-loving Kurz, although he’s significantly better at mixing in with "normal" people.
Despite his status as a first-class pervert in FMP (he’s only slightly behind the lovable Miroku), Kurz is actually a pretty cool kinda guy. He’ll stick up for his friends, he’s really trustworthy/loyal, and he’s slightly more normal than ¾ of the camp here BONUS!. Kurz is pretty much the life of the party and likes to keep things lighthearted and fun, although he does have his fair share of the emo.
(The “Big Sis” he’s talking about is another compadre of Sousuke and his. It’s his lil nickname for her. Not related at all, m’kay? Also, the "princess" is the captainess and she has a pretty huge crush on the dense-as-heck Sousuke.)
Sample post:
Ah, summer camp! Where the food’s plentiful, the ladies are beautiful, and I can just sit back and relax~!
Or that’s what I would like to say. What’s with this camp? Not only do they not have a decent lake for the girls to skinny-dip in (the number one must-see attraction in any decent camp), all the hot ones seem to not want me! But that’s impossible. Even Big Sis can’t resist my charms although she’d probably beat the crap outta me for saying that! Don’t give up, Kurz. You’re good looking enough to be on the front page of "Tag", so the girls will soon come after you. Yeah, they’ll be lured in like bees to sweet honey. Busty, sexy bees that is.
Oh yeah, almost forgot. Hey, Sousuke! Have you found Angel yet? The princess back at the base is waiting for her knight in shining armor to get back. And you know what the princess awards the knight with upon seeing him~ But we don’t have to hurry. We can get going just as soon as I check out the babes at the hot springs (the number two must-see attraction). Heh. And what’s this I heard about you getting married to 3 other campers? You horndog, you~
Poll So.
Character: Seiya
Series: Saint Seiya (Knights of the Zodiac)
Character Age: 13
Canon: Saint Seiya or Knights of the Zodiac is one of those 80's anime with ridiculously overpowered characters and long redundant dialogue. It is about a group of guardians whose duty is to protect Saori Kido, the reincarnation of the Greek goddess Athena. There are bronze, silver and gold saints, and each has a cloth that represents a constellation.
Seiya is the pegasus' bronze saint and the main character of the series. He is naive, annoying and incredibly loyal. He is also pretty slow, but not as dumb as he may appear. Among his abilities are a number of fist attacks with fancy names, being able to cry rivers while talking normally, state the glaringly obvious and repeat what others say in the form of questions (What? in the form of questions?), and bleed eight times his body weight. He is also a shounen retard.
Hi! I'm Seiya, I just got here. I have a problem, Saori-san told me to come here and relax, but I was bored so after getting a tent up I went to train and I left a big bronze box and it kinda disappeared... Okay, not really disappeared-disappeared, more like taken away by like, birds. And y'know what's funny? This is a heavy bronze-box, and they were like tiny birds, so yeah... If anyone sees two tiny birds carrying a big bronze box let me know? I kinda want it back... Soooo I'm Pegasus' Seiya, did I say that already? It's cool to meet you all and I know I should be relaxing, but if anyone wants a fight I'd like to learn cool new moves.
OI! WAIT! THAT'S MINE!!... Hey, did you know there are purple gorillas here? they're like purple, I'd never seen purple gorillas before, also they opened my box, did you know they could open boxes? and they're quick, I couldn't catch the one that stole my tiara. But I got back the rest of it... forget about the tiny birds, if you see a purple gorilla wearing a bronze tiara let me know, okay?
So, I should tell you 'bout myself, right? I'm Seiya and I'm japanese but I trained in Greece, my job is to guard Athena but she sent me on vacation and said something about battles to come and... hey guys, did you know there's a tree that grows underwear?
Poll So.
Character: Tendou Akane
Series: Ranma 1/2. Here is here is the specific article on Akane.
Character Age: 17
Canon: Tendou Akane was a pretty and cheerful
sixteen year old martial artist with a few small
problems - trying to deal with a persistent crush on a
family friend, having to avoid the captain of the
school kendo team and his crush on her, having to beat
up the school's male population every morning over
something said kendo team captain said - when her
father's friend and his son came to stay. In a few
short hours, she discovered that she was betrothed to
a boy who turned into a girl with cold water, that her
sensei hadn't been seriously training her for years,
and that her sisters would cheerfully dump her off at
the first opportunity. And from there it got worse;
she found herself living in a hurricane of chaos,
surrounded by wildly powerful martial artists, witness
to incredible battles, and somehow managing to attract
the romantic attentions of almost all the male ones.
At the same time her 'fiance' picked up three other
fiancees of his own. All Akane wanted was to grow up,
be a good martial artist and inherit her father's
dojo; instead she got the definition of insanity.
I should mention that I'm apping post-series
manga!Akane here and the remainder of the description
applies to manga!Akane. She is quite different in the
anime in a number of subtle but profound ways.
Tendou Akane is best described as 'impetuous'. She is
friendly and always attempts to make friends with
other characters first, if she is given the
opportunity. The most prominent exceptions are
Shampoo and Kuno Kodachi, and in both cases, both
girls attacked Akane on their first meeting before she
could even say 'Hi'. Akane does not attack without
provocation. Admittedly provocation can be pretty
tenuous (eg, Ranma popping up nude on the womens' side
of the baths, whilst pursuing Happousai) but she
always has a reason to nail Ranma
Kuno Happousai the
object of her wrath. She is proficient with various
forms of weaponry and has been known to use dumbells,
swords, bows, statues and the kitchen table as well as
her signature mallet, all of which she has the ability
to pull out of thin air. (Various theories on how she
can do that vary from an instinctive ability to access
subspace pockets to her forging the weapon on the spot
out of her chi; it's never explained in canon and it's
generally accepted that Akane herself doesn't know how
she does it either, she simply does it.) She gets
angry very quickly but her anger dissipates just as
fast and while she often finds it very hard to
apologise she generally does so. She is incredibly
forgiving; the words 'I'm sorry' said to her will
always be accepted.
Akane attracts all the boys as a matter of course and
never really recognises or realizes that they're
following her around like puppies. Okay, the constant
kidnappings are a bit of a clue, but she tends to put
them into one of two categories: either a) the
kidnapper is trying to get to Ranma and he thinks that
because they're engaged Ranma will come after her
(which is pretty accurate, actually), or b) they have
to marry a woman under certain conditions and she
happens to fit the criteria. However it tends to be
made very clear that within a short time Akane has won
the boy, by a combination of her physical charms, her
friendliness, and (in at least one case) her
willingness to stand up and scold the guy.
One major difference between manga!Akane and
anime!Akane is that, in the manga, Akane is Ranma's
friend. She bandages Ranma's wounds, has fairly
friendly conversations with him, confides in him about
a lot of things, and basically only fights with him
when he insults her (which is pretty often, yes, but
she doesn't start it) and actually only clobbers him
when he physically touches her first (the story where
Shampoo feeds Ranma the magic mushrooms that compel
him to hug anyone who sneezes, on an afternoon when he
and Akane are home alone and Akane has the flu, is a
fairly good example).
Akane also is friends with other women. Shampoo,
Kodachi and Shiratori Asuza are about the only girls
in the entire series she doesn't get along with, and
that's only because all three attacked her on their
first meeting and have continued to do so at later
encounters. Akane and Ukyo get along pretty well and
Ukyo has attempted to teach Akane to cook.
Oh, yes. The other part. Akane can't cook. She has
been described as the Anti-Cook, but that's not quite
correct. Her general cooking won't kill you, just
make you feel extremely ill and throw up. She can,
however, boil water, cook plain rice, and produce a
decent curry. Anything else and you're asking for
trouble. She will attempt to cook if asked to
and if you ask, you had better be prepared to eat.
You've heard the saying: "You have two menu options
for dinner this evening: take it or leave it"? You
can cross off the second option. Mallet-sama awaits
those who try it.
Sample Post:
Dad and Uncle Saotome have really done it to me this
time! First Dad makes me go on a solo training trip -
I had things I wanted to do with my friends this New
Years'! - just because Ranma is on one. Then this
morning I woke up from my first night out to find this
notebook and a letter from the camp director sitting
beside me, telling me I've been enrolled in the Camp
Fuckudie (how is that pronounced? Foo-koo-dee?
It can't be the other way. Nobody would name a
training camp that, no matter how little
English they know) Martial Arts Training Camp.
Still. This can be good. I can make it good. I live
with Ranma and I still have a normal life. Outside of
home, anyway.
Were those zombies? I know those were gorillas. But
aren't gorillas a protected species? I think it's
illegal to kill them, or something. So I guess it's a
good thing about the gun. I just hope I don't have to
explain to anyone about it. My mallet was much more
effective anyway.
I haven't done melee fighting like that for almost a
year, and I forgot how much of a pain it was.
Even if I did have my mallet this time.
But anyway, the note said I had to introduce myself.
Hello everyone! I'm Tendou Akane, of the Tendou
Anything-Goes School of Martial Arts. I'm seventeen,
I come from Nerima, and my ambition this year is to
learn to cook something other than curry, rice, and
instant foods!
I know that's an odd ambition to have, here in a
martial arts training camp, but I'm not the best
martial artist in the world (hey, at least I
admit it) and I know I'm not ever going to be. But
I'm a good martial artist (if you meet a boy
called Saotome Ranma, don't listen to him about that)
and while I'm learning new things here, why should I
limit myself to new fighting techniques? I
will learn to cook, and I will make
Ranma admit that I can!
It'll be interesting to train with other people. I've
been training by myself for the past five years, with
a few lessons in some specialised techniques from my
friend Hibiki Ryouga. I hope I'll be a good student.
Can anyone tell me what the basic rating system is
here? I've been training all year but Anything Goes
doesn't really have a dan structure to compare with
other styles, so I tend to rate on basis of results.
What's the dan rank for taking out... um... sixty
zombies and sevente- hang on a sec.
Sorry, where was I? Oh yes - eighteen gorillas, now.
In... er... six minutes, plus or minus ten seconds?
(I am getting slow. Maybe Dad and Uncle
Saotome were right to send me here.)
Also, if anyone could tell me where the bathing
facilities are, I'd be really grateful. Some of those
zombies oozed. Ick.
Poll So.
Character: Holy Girl Iron Maiden Jeanne
Series: Shaman King
Character Age: 11 to 12 in the manga
Canon: Iron Maiden Jeanne is the leader of the group the X-Laws. The X-Laws are a religious sort of shaman group. (X is for ten, Law is for law or commandment, s is making it plural). The X-Laws’ main goal is to eliminate the shaman Asakura Hao, for a world where injustice no longer exists and will stop at nothing to do so.
She earned the name ‘Iron Maiden’ because she spends most of her time in an Iron Maiden, which is a Middle-Age torture device, to increase her strength. Jeanne will stop at nothing to accomplish her goals, no matter who dies in the process. People who see her at first and hear about her goals, on the contrary, have compared her to a saint, because of her talk of peace.
And as a side note, kyonshii… are pretty much zombies. Shamash is Jeanne’s guardian spirit.
One of the people I had to fight (and unfortunately, bring to justice and kill) said that girls like me should be writing diaries and being happy. And while being happy could interfere with my training and plans, I suppose keeping this diary at camp won’t.
It is a strange place, this Camp Fuck You Die. I wonder what this might have to do with defeating Hao, but I’m sure it’s for the best. You have to suffer to get stronger, there is not much choice. I have to show my determination. I MUST LIVE THROUGH THIS CAMP IN ORDER TO DEFEAT HAO. FOR PEACE.
There are creatures here that look vaguely like kyonshii, the kind that Tao girl uses to fight. But these aren’t controlled by talismans, and are roaming around everywhere. One of them came up to me and said ‘braaaaaiiins.’ This kyonshii, or ‘zombie’ as the campers say, has no sense of justice. It isn’t exactly fair to just to start a fight when your opponent’s back is turned. It is a very sad sort of camp, very brutal: The campers seem to be unfair with the zombies too, and shooting are them in the eye sockets.
It is indeed a world of darkness. Don’t they realize that those zombies simply haven’t seen the light of justice? Therefore, I take it upon myself as my mission to FILL THESE ZOMBIES WITH PEACE.. It is one step closer to my ultimate goal.
This camp by itself helps too. Since from what I’ve seen, this camp functions as well as an iron maiden in terms of torture. Now, what should I do next? They say there’s a ghost at this lake, perhaps I can oversoul it, in absence of Shamash-was that a squid? Or a crocodile? Oh… oh dear, that does look these crocodiles are very nice… and I think that looks like… Oh dear, I’ll have to show the squids here the light of justice, too…
Poll So.