(no subject)
S-s-seventh batch! NICE AND EASY, just the way we like 'em.
Remember!
- Applicants, respond anonymously.
- If you're going to do the whole "ask me why I voted you out!" thing, please state who you voted out.
- No speculating about the identity of the applicants!
Now VOTE. Closed!
Character: Gaius.
Series: Merlin.
Character Age: Old enough.
Job: Quest and Adventure Advisor.
Canon: Once upon a not too long time ago, BBC decided that yet another spin-off of a popular legend would draw in the viewers, and that is how Merlin was born! Unlike most of the other remakes that stay quite close to canon, this remake features Merlin as a teenager only beginning to discover his true destiny to protect Prince Arthur until he becomes the king. There's just one problem with this: Arthur's father, Uther, has banned magic throughout the kingdom. Problem is, the monsters and villains intending to end the lives of either of the Pendragons have no intention of obeying the law, meaning that Merlin must both use his powers to protect the Prince and avoid being discovered, as he would certainly be executed otherwise. It's a tough call for a budding wizard who aches to prove his might, to be sure.
Merlin's closest ally in this mission is Gaius, who happens to be his uncle, Camelot's royal physician, a magic user and many other things besides. Though he's very understanding of Merlin's plight, he still disapproves of using shortcuts and hasty solutions as he's more used to applying logic and deliberating on things before acting. Gaius has seen and experienced a lot in his life, and they have made him a very rational person who also strongly advises against acts of foolishness. Despite this, he's more than happy to help anyone with their problems (Unless they're evil, of course) and he gives very wise advice almost all of the time since he is a very learned man, but those who seek him for advice should know that they're likely to get a raised eyebrow and a dry remark about how they should have thought harder before acting...which is just part and parcel of life when you're friends with a man who loathes magic and your nephew just can't get enough of flaunting it.
Sample Entry:
Well now, you must be Sir Gwahain! Come on in, there's no time to waste.
I'm sure that you're aware of the problem currently affecting the citizens of the camp, but Lady Sayre has not been so forthcoming about the true source. Though she has officially decreed that no one should consume the soup on Tuesday unless they wish to become zombies, I'm afraid that the advice came a bit too late. It seems that someone has enchanted the soup to slowly turn people into zombies so that it would not be detected quickly, a most ingenious plan to keep Lady Sayre in the dark if it wasn't because she appeared to be quite fidgety even though she asked me to help. I can only guess at her actual motives or the culprit, but we have more important things to consider even if you look more interested in the relationship between the two! There will be plenty of time for that when the crisis is over.
It's fortunate for us all that the library here was very thorough with its list of herbs and hazards, because you'll be required to seek some of these out in your quest- and it would be hardly wise for you to set your foot out of the door before you even know what to seek! Your predecessor made a fool out of himself by fetching a pair of underwear, claiming that it would at least ease the sorrows of his friends since they would not be able to score dates in their condition. That's a kind thought to be sure, but hardly comforting when your limbs are in danger of falling off at any second- And if you wish to know more about such things, you can also do that after I explain what you need to do, Sir Gwahain!
Where were we? Ah, yes- we were discussing all of the things you'd need to do. Have a look at this map- it says that a cure for a curse that causes its victims to despair can be found in the Caves of Emo- but don't despair! I can see that you don't quite believe me, but we must all confront our fears if we are to become stronger, and I assume this is why the cure is located in the very same place where it is at its strongest!
The journey ahead of you will be fraught with much peril, so you must first fortify yourself. I hope these supplies will be helpful- this is a pouch containing herbs that you can use to treat any injuries that you might sustain and this sack contains a week's worth of food in the case that you find yourself lost within the cave. Before I wish you luck on your journey, could you fetch the herbs and spices on this list? There are eleven of them, and don't get them mixed up. Is this for the quest as well? Of course not, I'm making some chicken soup for you so that you'll at least have a head start on a full stomach.
Must you groan that much? Being a hero is hard work, and hard work doesn't mean that you should groan like all your friends!
Poll Vote!
Character: Kido Shinji
Series: Kamen Rider Ryuki
Age: 23
Job: Gullible Journalist-in-Training
Canon: There can be only one Kamen Rider. A parallel dimension, the Mirror World is a reflection of the real world, devoid of anything except monsters and aside from them, only the thirteen Kamen Riders can enter it. They fight the monsters that stalk and capture their human prey using reflective surfaces -- pulling people from the real world into the Mirror World to eat -- but they have a larger goal than that. The Kamen Riders are set to kill each other, each fighting to be the sole survivor of the game they play. The winner will be granted one wish when the Rider War ends. Whatever they desire.
Not chosen as most of the other Kamen Riders were by the game's creator, Kido Shinji literally stumbles his way into becoming Kamen Rider Ryuki. A rather clueless intern at the ORE Journal, an online news source, he has no idea what he's gotten himself into. With a good side of his own special brand of idiocy, Shinji manages to have a pure-hearted idealism that forges his wish -- fight the monsters that eat people and stop the Riders from killing each other. Which obviously defeats the purpose of the game. Naive, friendly, and ready to believe in anyone that will give him an ear, he's often led on -- tricked into writing articles and fully believing that a golden crawdad is gold and not painted, and trusting in Riders that turn around and attempt to kill him -- and at times he has had severe doubts about his goal at stopping the fighting. But he always comes back around to the person he really is; a bit of an idiotic spastic case that wasn't supposed to be in the Rider War, but will do everything he can to stop it and protect as many people as he can.
Sample Entry:
Yes, this is CFUD Journal! Kido Shinji speaking. Ah, Secretary Toucan! I'm setting things up at the director's request. I didn't think it would be so cramped -- it is cramped. It's a closet. A closet with a desk and a metal stool and a tiny window. How is that not cramped? No, I'm not complaining, I'm telling you that it's cramped. You don't have to yell at me about resources. I'm very resourceful except . . . the window was a nice touch, but aaaah, it's a bit breezy in here now because it broke. Is that fixable? Most of it wasn't my fault. No, everything's fine, it was only a little incident with the guide you sent. He was so eager to meet me, he came through the window! I promise he still has his arm and I still have my head. I could work in an article about greeting manners and how biting the hand that feeds you isn't the way to go about it! Not that I was trying to feed him. "Don't feed Zombie" was the first part clause of the contract the director sent!
And let Director Sawyer know that I'm glad she hired me to start an online news service for CFUD! Yes, I said Sawyer. Sawyer. I'm sure that's her name -- it's signed Director . . . ah, Sayre. That's what it is. Assure her that I'm here to do my best and report the mating rituals of the gorillas and the eating habits of Zombie. Oh, that's zombies not Zombie. No, I do understand the terms of the contract and I'll dive in and dig out the best scoops in camp. No matter what the campers hide, I'll discover it. And I'll forward all interviews and reports of unusual occurrences to her before I send them out for public reading! I know every journalist needs a good editor and I'm told the director has an excellent reputation in that field. I appreciate her trust in my abilities and I won't let her down despite what everyone says about me only being an intern. The truth is out there. Using my youth and vigor -- yes, that's why she said she hired me! -- I'll jump into the fray and start immediately.
I did mean that! Zombie the zombie has promised me an exclusive lunch meeting with his friends. The details are unclear concerning the menu, but from what I understand he doesn't want me to miss it. Director Sayre couldn't have sent a better guide. He even gave me a lotion to apologize for breaking the window. Despite the, um, ripe smell, Zombie says it works as a good dressing -- I think he means with the way I dress! No worries, I'm getting better at deciphering his dialect so the interview will be easy once we get to lunch! This is a once in a lifetime opportunity and I'll go above and beyond to prove myself!
It was nice talking to you, but I have to get going. Zombie's in a hurry. Something about needing to be in time for the brains -- no, he said brandy. I thought brains was wrong. A drink before lunch, I can do that. So thank you for calling on behalf of the director. I'll be back in touch shortly concerning the first publication of CFUD Journal!
Poll Vote!
Character: Amon
Series: Witch Hunter Robin (wiki)
Character Age: 25
Job: Barista.
Canon: Mankind is divided into two camps. Even in the future where technology and science are increasingly dominant, the Catholic Church remains vigilant, lest our smaller, more persecuted group of cousins, the Witches, rise up against mankind with their supernatural powers. These can range from the mostly harmless to the absolutely terrifying. Solomon is the Church's secret group of Witch Hunters and watchdogs, tasked to protect the rest of humanity from the most dangerous Witches, and to keep an eye on all pepole known to carry the potential for witchcraft.
Amon is the field leader of Solomon Japan (also known as STN-J). Amon is usually quite the grumpy stoic, preferring to speak as sparsely as possible. When he does talk, it does tend to come with a healthy dose of sarcasm that can be mistaken for anger. Despite his cold exterior, he's also a man of great insight, often capable of finding the last break in a case or the missing piece to a puzzle. He has neither mercy nor pity for those who do not help themselves, and even less for those who prey on the weak. But those who earn his trust also have his loyalty, and though it is at times sorely tested, Amon is always a man of his word.
In addition, he is, like most law enforcement officers, hopelessly addicted to coffee.
Sample Entry:
I know someone's going to ask me how it went. And I'm going to have to tell them as first days of work could go, I suppose it could be worse, but I'm pretty sure I can't think of a day that could challenge it right now. I just couldn't stay there. And if they can't read a OUT OF ORDER sign, I'll be surprised if they can read the menu properly.
It all started when the zombies ambled up. If they hadn't told me that they weren't something I should be concerned about, that would have been when the first shot was fired. I'm not sure it would have made anything worse later. Those moans, those slack eyes--the fact it took me three tries to figure out that they wanted some of that ridiculous iced sludge they think is real coffee--but you said to treat them like any other customer. Then one of them had the nerve to question the quality of drinks I made them. Said the whipped cream wasn't fluffy enough. I never knew it came in degrees of fluffiness. But I managed to get them to calm down a little by proving that all the whipped cream was the same and all they wanted was more whipped cream, and there wasn't any way to make it fluffier. And then they started talking to themselves about how they thought it would look better on my head than in the coffee....
I was considering telling the zombies to get out then, but the gorillas walked in. So, the zombies suddenly went away, muttering something about a meeting of the minds they had to go to and everything was under control for a moment. Then one of the gorillas tried to order the banana pound cake, which we were out of. Everything in the case looked fossilized to me anyway, so I'm not sure why they wanted any of it. One of them started getting angry-they were all purple already but their face just got purpler and darker. I can't explain it in any other way. I finally just talked him into accepting a free banana on the house, and suddenly his face lightened. He walked off with his friend then, and you think that'd be the end of it, but I guess I'm just not that lucky today.
Then I started trying to clean everything up. When I tried to turn on the sink, it started spraying blood everywhere, and it wouldn't give me water again. That was the last straw. So I closed everything down and just rinsed everything else off with lake water. I figure it had to be safer then letting the blood set on everything, until it started glowing. They really need to install a back up water supply there if they want to keep that shop open. No one is going to buy that stuff if they find blood in their drink or if their coffee is glowing. I wouldn't, even if it was free coffee.
All in all, if anyone tell me that it was a good day, I'm going to remember that I've had better luck with shooting people...
Poll Vote!
Name: Carl Fredricksen
Age: 78 years old
Series: Up
Job: Local Lawn Enforcement
Canon: Upis the story of Carl Fredricksen, and his desire to fulfill a promise he was unable to keep to his wife while she was still alive. So with thousands of balloons tied to his house, he floats off towards South America, destination: Paradise Falls. What sounds like would be a peaceful, simple voyage turns out to be anything but; in between discovering a kid named Russell (who happened to be under his porch when the house took off,) a dangerous storm, and trying to protect a rare bird from being captured, it's going to take a bit of work to get the house to where it needs to be before the air leaks out of the balloons.
Carl is essentially a grumpy old man. Saddened by the death of his wife Ellie, he becomes withdrawn and only wishes to be left alone. When forced to deal with people, he is either curt and sarcastic in tone, or he'll joke around in a way to mess with the person's head. He's stubborn as well, and not a pushover by any means - he's willing to retaliate against harassment in crafty ways, such as putting prune juice in gas tanks. However, past his incredibly cranky front, Carl really is a softy at heart; despite his protests about allowing others to tag along on the voyage, and his frustrations at putting up with their antics, when they were in need of help Carl gave it his all. And while 'his all' may not seem like much considering his age, don't be fooled, he has a hidden streak of badass that can put anyone in their place.
Sample Entry:
Hey you kids, stay on the trail and back off the lawn! You heard me, body mass off the grass and back to... oh, I don't know, whatever it is you campers do here in November. Well, I'm not going to look too much into it, if I couldn't get a decent answer from Ms. Sayre as to why she needed me to fend off you hooligans from this random patch of lawn, I doubt I'll get one as to why her summer camp's open year around. Shouldn't you kids be in school? You know, actually learning something instead of hassling an old man doing his work? Oh don't give me that look, a job's a job, and I'm going to do this no matter how much you groan-- speaking of, cut it out with that groaning already, you sound like an idiot. You want to be taken seriously, you have to learn to enunciate, because moaning "braaaaaaain" isn't telling anyone anything except that all that TV I'm sure you watch is rotting yours.
Didn't I tell you to cut it out with that moaning? So you can't play ball here, it isn't the end of the world. What exactly are you whining about, there's plenty else here to do, it's a summer camp! You could go swimming, fish in the lake! You know back in my day we didn't camps set up as nice as you do here. You kids have no idea how easy you have it, instead of this 'network' or whatever you've got warning you about dangerous stuff in the woods, do you know what we had? We had the brave kid, and we looked at how many bite marks he had when he came back after wandering off for a bit to see how good of an idea it was. And any injuries you got you fixed with nothing but scotch tape and suspender straps! And you know what else? At least you have working pipes. Our water was brown, and you had to chew it, heh, heh. Oh relax, I was kidding about that last one--hey, what'd I say about tossing that ball around! No, you're not getting it back now, no matter what kind of pathetic --and slightly creepy-- eyes you try and give me.
...Oh alright. I'll give it back this one time. But do it again and it'll have my name on it. Catch! ...Holy... I barely tossed it! Geez, I knew kids today were soft, but I didn't think they'd be completely falling apart over the littlest things. Alright, you and you, take him to first aid to see if there's something that can be done about that arm. And I think I have a mint or something if it'll make you feel better. Here it is. It's only from '73, it's still good. Now go on. ...Yeesh, what a sight. Poor kid.
Now where was I again? Oh yeah, the rest of you, scram.
Poll Vote!
Character: Mad Hatter/Belial
Series: Angel Sanctuary
Character Age: Definitely adult
Job: Self-esteem Counselor
Canon: Once upon a time, there was a Mad Hatter. This Hatter often appears around a young girl, full of confusing information, flattery and maybe a few riddles. This isn’t Alice in Wonderland, though. This is Angel Sanctuary, so there’s more going on here than having tea and killing time. This is a story about Heaven and Hell, complicated by unrequited love, taboo sex, gender issues, convoluted scheming, deception and general strangeness.
Most of which could be said of Hatter too, coincidentally enough. In this case despite hir claims of being Hell's jester, the Mad Hatter is in reality one of the seven great generals of Hell and an accomplished schemer and liar, who rebelled against Heaven with Lucifer. Since then Hatter has been motivated primarily by an unrequited love for the Lord of Hell. Hatter's first rebellion against God involved rejecting life as a woman and adopting a genderqueer identity, neither female nor male. As for taboo sex, it was one of Hatter's favorite hobbies even before the Fall. Hatter is, in the end, not just a harlequin, despite having a certain flair for the dramatic, the mad and playing games, but an expert in using pretty words and exploiting people's desires and insecurities to lead them into temptation.
Sample Entry:
What a sad joke this humble jester has found. What a sadly familiar prank. To gather so many children of such obvious talent, obvious beauty and virtue, and then leave them to despair at their own devices in a grim prison - a poor joke indeed. One wonders at the taste in which it’s told. Not good taste, surely. No, it’s in quite the same taste that would let rustic cabins clash with purple apes. Or the same taste which would put a ban on carnal pleasures, come to that. A priggish, prudish joke.
And yet, as luck would have it, one might offer a kind of solution. One is quite familiar with all kinds of shadow and sin. Who better then than one such as I, who knows the territory intimately, to serve as a guide? It is for no other reason that one was engaged to visit, chosen specifically to lead the way for the Director’s wards out of their pits of their "low self-esteem." For this act, lovely children, the part of the Pied Piper shall be played by the Mad Hatter. But the Piper sells the children in the end, doesn't he? Perhaps that's not the best metaphor.
Follow, and one will lead you well away from the dark thoughts which grip so many of you tightly. One knows them. So many thousands of years, one has known all of them. One has seen the pain and understands the cruelty it brings. The morbid contemplations and covetous envy. The unnatural lusts that prey upon you, oh, one knows them all quite well. The guilt we feel for them breeds doubt. It eats us from the inside until all that’s left is a brilliant façade of strength while inside we are full of all the tawdry melodrama of angst. Perhaps, perhaps…
Perhaps your pain has been overlooked by those who could not see into the shadow? Or perhaps you have hidden it from those who would see your "sin" and not understand it for what it really is: a false, artificial judgment. Let one help ease you of this pain and worry. For truly, what purpose is there in holding on to that which only brings you guilt? You can all have so much more - have whatever your hearts desire, if you aren’t afraid to take it.
It is such a weak joke in the end, no true clown could abide it. Come, would you trust this lowly one's sincere aid?
Poll Vote!
Character name: John Granby
Series: The Temeraire series
Age: 27 (at the end of Empire of Ivory)
Job: Firefighter
Canon: Take Napoleonic Era. Add dragons. Mix well. This is the world of the Temeraire series--where along with the Army and Navy, Britain has an Aerial Corps of manned dragons with which to fight the French. Unfortunately, just because dragons are widespread, domesticated, and even perfectly capable of intelligent conversation doesn't mean the average person wants to be anywhere near them. In Great Britain, dragons are considered savage beasts barely above other animals, and the aviators in the Corps are set apart from society into the dragon coverts and looked down on as unpredictable and outside the law. (This may or may not have some small basis in reality, given dragons will generally refuse to cooperate with anything if their captain is in danger.)
Captain John Granby is an aviator through and through. He's been working for the Corps since he was seven years old, and he has plenty of experience and knowledge on his side, not to mention the straightforward and informal attitude characteristic of the Corps. Try as he might, he has a hard time keeping his opinions to himself, and an even harder time backing down on them--whether he's for you or against you, he doesn't do it half-heartedly. But even more stubborn and willful is his dragon, Iskierka, a rare fire-breathing Kazilik who does whatever she pleases whenever she pleases. Despite his lifelong experience working with dragons, not even Granby can control Iskierka, and when it comes to her... he's resigned himself to just making sure she doesn't set anything too important on fire.
Sample Entry:
I am sorry, but I shan't bite my tongue over something like this. This is nothing short of an insult, and I cannot bring myself to sit back and take it; Admiralty's orders be damned. Whether you care to dignify the rank of an aviator or not, I am a captain and we are at war; what is the meaning of shipping England's only fire-breather off to the colonies and off duty, and keeping the both of us useless? And to finally see myself sent to her, only to hear that I am not to be serving as a soldier of the King, but as a common firefighter! Begging your pardon if she has set the continent aflame, and I will pay for the damages and more, but this is hardly a job on which to waste a captain and his dragon for a year or more--
--Oh, hell, I suppose if there is a fire going on right as we speak, it is no time to be sitting around arguing over one thing or another. Yes, of course; I will not just sit back and watch you all burn yourselves. There's snow all about you; toss it on the building, for God's sake! And you, sirs, go find us a hose instead of shouting your heads off. It is quite obvious that the roof is on fire, thank you, but I would rather not see it burn while you're sitting here twiddling your thumbs.
Well, at the very least, I can see why you are in need of a good firefighter. That was far more work than it should have been, and the lot of you look like you've already been through the fires of Hell and back a dozen times without doing a thing about it. Are the States truly that flammable, even in winter? And you've kept Iskierka here without her captain how long! Brilliant, the Government; they'd rather see everything up in smoke than listen to an aviator. No wonder the Frogs handed the land over if it could be lit up so easily. I must say, I have no intention of taking back any land for England while I'm here, as we've got much more urgent things to worry about; but you can't but admit it would be a damned easy sight. Where is your covert? You don't mean to say you have no creatures here at all to defend yourselves with?
...Nonsense. I've never heard anything of the like in all my years with the Corps. There's no way a single beast could fight off whatever enemy forces come its way, no matter how talented. And without even the capability of flight? Oh, honestly. Don't think an aviator frightened by the mere mention of a creature. By all means, I should like to see this Marcy personally if she is half as mighty as you say; and at least if we are to visit the lake there is less a chance of anything catching on fire, and we shall all only be as flaming as Iskierka sees fit.
Poll Vote!
Remember!
- Applicants, respond anonymously.
- If you're going to do the whole "ask me why I voted you out!" thing, please state who you voted out.
- No speculating about the identity of the applicants!
Now VOTE. Closed!
Character: Gaius.
Series: Merlin.
Character Age: Old enough.
Job: Quest and Adventure Advisor.
Canon: Once upon a not too long time ago, BBC decided that yet another spin-off of a popular legend would draw in the viewers, and that is how Merlin was born! Unlike most of the other remakes that stay quite close to canon, this remake features Merlin as a teenager only beginning to discover his true destiny to protect Prince Arthur until he becomes the king. There's just one problem with this: Arthur's father, Uther, has banned magic throughout the kingdom. Problem is, the monsters and villains intending to end the lives of either of the Pendragons have no intention of obeying the law, meaning that Merlin must both use his powers to protect the Prince and avoid being discovered, as he would certainly be executed otherwise. It's a tough call for a budding wizard who aches to prove his might, to be sure.
Merlin's closest ally in this mission is Gaius, who happens to be his uncle, Camelot's royal physician, a magic user and many other things besides. Though he's very understanding of Merlin's plight, he still disapproves of using shortcuts and hasty solutions as he's more used to applying logic and deliberating on things before acting. Gaius has seen and experienced a lot in his life, and they have made him a very rational person who also strongly advises against acts of foolishness. Despite this, he's more than happy to help anyone with their problems (Unless they're evil, of course) and he gives very wise advice almost all of the time since he is a very learned man, but those who seek him for advice should know that they're likely to get a raised eyebrow and a dry remark about how they should have thought harder before acting...which is just part and parcel of life when you're friends with a man who loathes magic and your nephew just can't get enough of flaunting it.
Sample Entry:
Well now, you must be Sir Gwahain! Come on in, there's no time to waste.
I'm sure that you're aware of the problem currently affecting the citizens of the camp, but Lady Sayre has not been so forthcoming about the true source. Though she has officially decreed that no one should consume the soup on Tuesday unless they wish to become zombies, I'm afraid that the advice came a bit too late. It seems that someone has enchanted the soup to slowly turn people into zombies so that it would not be detected quickly, a most ingenious plan to keep Lady Sayre in the dark if it wasn't because she appeared to be quite fidgety even though she asked me to help. I can only guess at her actual motives or the culprit, but we have more important things to consider even if you look more interested in the relationship between the two! There will be plenty of time for that when the crisis is over.
It's fortunate for us all that the library here was very thorough with its list of herbs and hazards, because you'll be required to seek some of these out in your quest- and it would be hardly wise for you to set your foot out of the door before you even know what to seek! Your predecessor made a fool out of himself by fetching a pair of underwear, claiming that it would at least ease the sorrows of his friends since they would not be able to score dates in their condition. That's a kind thought to be sure, but hardly comforting when your limbs are in danger of falling off at any second- And if you wish to know more about such things, you can also do that after I explain what you need to do, Sir Gwahain!
Where were we? Ah, yes- we were discussing all of the things you'd need to do. Have a look at this map- it says that a cure for a curse that causes its victims to despair can be found in the Caves of Emo- but don't despair! I can see that you don't quite believe me, but we must all confront our fears if we are to become stronger, and I assume this is why the cure is located in the very same place where it is at its strongest!
The journey ahead of you will be fraught with much peril, so you must first fortify yourself. I hope these supplies will be helpful- this is a pouch containing herbs that you can use to treat any injuries that you might sustain and this sack contains a week's worth of food in the case that you find yourself lost within the cave. Before I wish you luck on your journey, could you fetch the herbs and spices on this list? There are eleven of them, and don't get them mixed up. Is this for the quest as well? Of course not, I'm making some chicken soup for you so that you'll at least have a head start on a full stomach.
Must you groan that much? Being a hero is hard work, and hard work doesn't mean that you should groan like all your friends!
Poll Vote!
Character: Kido Shinji
Series: Kamen Rider Ryuki
Age: 23
Job: Gullible Journalist-in-Training
Canon: There can be only one Kamen Rider. A parallel dimension, the Mirror World is a reflection of the real world, devoid of anything except monsters and aside from them, only the thirteen Kamen Riders can enter it. They fight the monsters that stalk and capture their human prey using reflective surfaces -- pulling people from the real world into the Mirror World to eat -- but they have a larger goal than that. The Kamen Riders are set to kill each other, each fighting to be the sole survivor of the game they play. The winner will be granted one wish when the Rider War ends. Whatever they desire.
Not chosen as most of the other Kamen Riders were by the game's creator, Kido Shinji literally stumbles his way into becoming Kamen Rider Ryuki. A rather clueless intern at the ORE Journal, an online news source, he has no idea what he's gotten himself into. With a good side of his own special brand of idiocy, Shinji manages to have a pure-hearted idealism that forges his wish -- fight the monsters that eat people and stop the Riders from killing each other. Which obviously defeats the purpose of the game. Naive, friendly, and ready to believe in anyone that will give him an ear, he's often led on -- tricked into writing articles and fully believing that a golden crawdad is gold and not painted, and trusting in Riders that turn around and attempt to kill him -- and at times he has had severe doubts about his goal at stopping the fighting. But he always comes back around to the person he really is; a bit of an idiotic spastic case that wasn't supposed to be in the Rider War, but will do everything he can to stop it and protect as many people as he can.
Sample Entry:
Yes, this is CFUD Journal! Kido Shinji speaking. Ah, Secretary Toucan! I'm setting things up at the director's request. I didn't think it would be so cramped -- it is cramped. It's a closet. A closet with a desk and a metal stool and a tiny window. How is that not cramped? No, I'm not complaining, I'm telling you that it's cramped. You don't have to yell at me about resources. I'm very resourceful except . . . the window was a nice touch, but aaaah, it's a bit breezy in here now because it broke. Is that fixable? Most of it wasn't my fault. No, everything's fine, it was only a little incident with the guide you sent. He was so eager to meet me, he came through the window! I promise he still has his arm and I still have my head. I could work in an article about greeting manners and how biting the hand that feeds you isn't the way to go about it! Not that I was trying to feed him. "Don't feed Zombie" was the first part clause of the contract the director sent!
And let Director Sawyer know that I'm glad she hired me to start an online news service for CFUD! Yes, I said Sawyer. Sawyer. I'm sure that's her name -- it's signed Director . . . ah, Sayre. That's what it is. Assure her that I'm here to do my best and report the mating rituals of the gorillas and the eating habits of Zombie. Oh, that's zombies not Zombie. No, I do understand the terms of the contract and I'll dive in and dig out the best scoops in camp. No matter what the campers hide, I'll discover it. And I'll forward all interviews and reports of unusual occurrences to her before I send them out for public reading! I know every journalist needs a good editor and I'm told the director has an excellent reputation in that field. I appreciate her trust in my abilities and I won't let her down despite what everyone says about me only being an intern. The truth is out there. Using my youth and vigor -- yes, that's why she said she hired me! -- I'll jump into the fray and start immediately.
I did mean that! Zombie the zombie has promised me an exclusive lunch meeting with his friends. The details are unclear concerning the menu, but from what I understand he doesn't want me to miss it. Director Sayre couldn't have sent a better guide. He even gave me a lotion to apologize for breaking the window. Despite the, um, ripe smell, Zombie says it works as a good dressing -- I think he means with the way I dress! No worries, I'm getting better at deciphering his dialect so the interview will be easy once we get to lunch! This is a once in a lifetime opportunity and I'll go above and beyond to prove myself!
It was nice talking to you, but I have to get going. Zombie's in a hurry. Something about needing to be in time for the brains -- no, he said brandy. I thought brains was wrong. A drink before lunch, I can do that. So thank you for calling on behalf of the director. I'll be back in touch shortly concerning the first publication of CFUD Journal!
Poll Vote!
Character: Amon
Series: Witch Hunter Robin (wiki)
Character Age: 25
Job: Barista.
Canon: Mankind is divided into two camps. Even in the future where technology and science are increasingly dominant, the Catholic Church remains vigilant, lest our smaller, more persecuted group of cousins, the Witches, rise up against mankind with their supernatural powers. These can range from the mostly harmless to the absolutely terrifying. Solomon is the Church's secret group of Witch Hunters and watchdogs, tasked to protect the rest of humanity from the most dangerous Witches, and to keep an eye on all pepole known to carry the potential for witchcraft.
Amon is the field leader of Solomon Japan (also known as STN-J). Amon is usually quite the grumpy stoic, preferring to speak as sparsely as possible. When he does talk, it does tend to come with a healthy dose of sarcasm that can be mistaken for anger. Despite his cold exterior, he's also a man of great insight, often capable of finding the last break in a case or the missing piece to a puzzle. He has neither mercy nor pity for those who do not help themselves, and even less for those who prey on the weak. But those who earn his trust also have his loyalty, and though it is at times sorely tested, Amon is always a man of his word.
In addition, he is, like most law enforcement officers, hopelessly addicted to coffee.
Sample Entry:
I know someone's going to ask me how it went. And I'm going to have to tell them as first days of work could go, I suppose it could be worse, but I'm pretty sure I can't think of a day that could challenge it right now. I just couldn't stay there. And if they can't read a OUT OF ORDER sign, I'll be surprised if they can read the menu properly.
It all started when the zombies ambled up. If they hadn't told me that they weren't something I should be concerned about, that would have been when the first shot was fired. I'm not sure it would have made anything worse later. Those moans, those slack eyes--the fact it took me three tries to figure out that they wanted some of that ridiculous iced sludge they think is real coffee--but you said to treat them like any other customer. Then one of them had the nerve to question the quality of drinks I made them. Said the whipped cream wasn't fluffy enough. I never knew it came in degrees of fluffiness. But I managed to get them to calm down a little by proving that all the whipped cream was the same and all they wanted was more whipped cream, and there wasn't any way to make it fluffier. And then they started talking to themselves about how they thought it would look better on my head than in the coffee....
I was considering telling the zombies to get out then, but the gorillas walked in. So, the zombies suddenly went away, muttering something about a meeting of the minds they had to go to and everything was under control for a moment. Then one of the gorillas tried to order the banana pound cake, which we were out of. Everything in the case looked fossilized to me anyway, so I'm not sure why they wanted any of it. One of them started getting angry-they were all purple already but their face just got purpler and darker. I can't explain it in any other way. I finally just talked him into accepting a free banana on the house, and suddenly his face lightened. He walked off with his friend then, and you think that'd be the end of it, but I guess I'm just not that lucky today.
Then I started trying to clean everything up. When I tried to turn on the sink, it started spraying blood everywhere, and it wouldn't give me water again. That was the last straw. So I closed everything down and just rinsed everything else off with lake water. I figure it had to be safer then letting the blood set on everything, until it started glowing. They really need to install a back up water supply there if they want to keep that shop open. No one is going to buy that stuff if they find blood in their drink or if their coffee is glowing. I wouldn't, even if it was free coffee.
All in all, if anyone tell me that it was a good day, I'm going to remember that I've had better luck with shooting people...
Poll Vote!
Name: Carl Fredricksen
Age: 78 years old
Series: Up
Job: Local Lawn Enforcement
Canon: Upis the story of Carl Fredricksen, and his desire to fulfill a promise he was unable to keep to his wife while she was still alive. So with thousands of balloons tied to his house, he floats off towards South America, destination: Paradise Falls. What sounds like would be a peaceful, simple voyage turns out to be anything but; in between discovering a kid named Russell (who happened to be under his porch when the house took off,) a dangerous storm, and trying to protect a rare bird from being captured, it's going to take a bit of work to get the house to where it needs to be before the air leaks out of the balloons.
Carl is essentially a grumpy old man. Saddened by the death of his wife Ellie, he becomes withdrawn and only wishes to be left alone. When forced to deal with people, he is either curt and sarcastic in tone, or he'll joke around in a way to mess with the person's head. He's stubborn as well, and not a pushover by any means - he's willing to retaliate against harassment in crafty ways, such as putting prune juice in gas tanks. However, past his incredibly cranky front, Carl really is a softy at heart; despite his protests about allowing others to tag along on the voyage, and his frustrations at putting up with their antics, when they were in need of help Carl gave it his all. And while 'his all' may not seem like much considering his age, don't be fooled, he has a hidden streak of badass that can put anyone in their place.
Sample Entry:
Hey you kids, stay on the trail and back off the lawn! You heard me, body mass off the grass and back to... oh, I don't know, whatever it is you campers do here in November. Well, I'm not going to look too much into it, if I couldn't get a decent answer from Ms. Sayre as to why she needed me to fend off you hooligans from this random patch of lawn, I doubt I'll get one as to why her summer camp's open year around. Shouldn't you kids be in school? You know, actually learning something instead of hassling an old man doing his work? Oh don't give me that look, a job's a job, and I'm going to do this no matter how much you groan-- speaking of, cut it out with that groaning already, you sound like an idiot. You want to be taken seriously, you have to learn to enunciate, because moaning "braaaaaaain" isn't telling anyone anything except that all that TV I'm sure you watch is rotting yours.
Didn't I tell you to cut it out with that moaning? So you can't play ball here, it isn't the end of the world. What exactly are you whining about, there's plenty else here to do, it's a summer camp! You could go swimming, fish in the lake! You know back in my day we didn't camps set up as nice as you do here. You kids have no idea how easy you have it, instead of this 'network' or whatever you've got warning you about dangerous stuff in the woods, do you know what we had? We had the brave kid, and we looked at how many bite marks he had when he came back after wandering off for a bit to see how good of an idea it was. And any injuries you got you fixed with nothing but scotch tape and suspender straps! And you know what else? At least you have working pipes. Our water was brown, and you had to chew it, heh, heh. Oh relax, I was kidding about that last one--hey, what'd I say about tossing that ball around! No, you're not getting it back now, no matter what kind of pathetic --and slightly creepy-- eyes you try and give me.
...Oh alright. I'll give it back this one time. But do it again and it'll have my name on it. Catch! ...Holy... I barely tossed it! Geez, I knew kids today were soft, but I didn't think they'd be completely falling apart over the littlest things. Alright, you and you, take him to first aid to see if there's something that can be done about that arm. And I think I have a mint or something if it'll make you feel better. Here it is. It's only from '73, it's still good. Now go on. ...Yeesh, what a sight. Poor kid.
Now where was I again? Oh yeah, the rest of you, scram.
Poll Vote!
Character: Mad Hatter/Belial
Series: Angel Sanctuary
Character Age: Definitely adult
Job: Self-esteem Counselor
Canon: Once upon a time, there was a Mad Hatter. This Hatter often appears around a young girl, full of confusing information, flattery and maybe a few riddles. This isn’t Alice in Wonderland, though. This is Angel Sanctuary, so there’s more going on here than having tea and killing time. This is a story about Heaven and Hell, complicated by unrequited love, taboo sex, gender issues, convoluted scheming, deception and general strangeness.
Most of which could be said of Hatter too, coincidentally enough. In this case despite hir claims of being Hell's jester, the Mad Hatter is in reality one of the seven great generals of Hell and an accomplished schemer and liar, who rebelled against Heaven with Lucifer. Since then Hatter has been motivated primarily by an unrequited love for the Lord of Hell. Hatter's first rebellion against God involved rejecting life as a woman and adopting a genderqueer identity, neither female nor male. As for taboo sex, it was one of Hatter's favorite hobbies even before the Fall. Hatter is, in the end, not just a harlequin, despite having a certain flair for the dramatic, the mad and playing games, but an expert in using pretty words and exploiting people's desires and insecurities to lead them into temptation.
Sample Entry:
What a sad joke this humble jester has found. What a sadly familiar prank. To gather so many children of such obvious talent, obvious beauty and virtue, and then leave them to despair at their own devices in a grim prison - a poor joke indeed. One wonders at the taste in which it’s told. Not good taste, surely. No, it’s in quite the same taste that would let rustic cabins clash with purple apes. Or the same taste which would put a ban on carnal pleasures, come to that. A priggish, prudish joke.
And yet, as luck would have it, one might offer a kind of solution. One is quite familiar with all kinds of shadow and sin. Who better then than one such as I, who knows the territory intimately, to serve as a guide? It is for no other reason that one was engaged to visit, chosen specifically to lead the way for the Director’s wards out of their pits of their "low self-esteem." For this act, lovely children, the part of the Pied Piper shall be played by the Mad Hatter. But the Piper sells the children in the end, doesn't he? Perhaps that's not the best metaphor.
Follow, and one will lead you well away from the dark thoughts which grip so many of you tightly. One knows them. So many thousands of years, one has known all of them. One has seen the pain and understands the cruelty it brings. The morbid contemplations and covetous envy. The unnatural lusts that prey upon you, oh, one knows them all quite well. The guilt we feel for them breeds doubt. It eats us from the inside until all that’s left is a brilliant façade of strength while inside we are full of all the tawdry melodrama of angst. Perhaps, perhaps…
Perhaps your pain has been overlooked by those who could not see into the shadow? Or perhaps you have hidden it from those who would see your "sin" and not understand it for what it really is: a false, artificial judgment. Let one help ease you of this pain and worry. For truly, what purpose is there in holding on to that which only brings you guilt? You can all have so much more - have whatever your hearts desire, if you aren’t afraid to take it.
It is such a weak joke in the end, no true clown could abide it. Come, would you trust this lowly one's sincere aid?
Poll Vote!
Character name: John Granby
Series: The Temeraire series
Age: 27 (at the end of Empire of Ivory)
Job: Firefighter
Canon: Take Napoleonic Era. Add dragons. Mix well. This is the world of the Temeraire series--where along with the Army and Navy, Britain has an Aerial Corps of manned dragons with which to fight the French. Unfortunately, just because dragons are widespread, domesticated, and even perfectly capable of intelligent conversation doesn't mean the average person wants to be anywhere near them. In Great Britain, dragons are considered savage beasts barely above other animals, and the aviators in the Corps are set apart from society into the dragon coverts and looked down on as unpredictable and outside the law. (This may or may not have some small basis in reality, given dragons will generally refuse to cooperate with anything if their captain is in danger.)
Captain John Granby is an aviator through and through. He's been working for the Corps since he was seven years old, and he has plenty of experience and knowledge on his side, not to mention the straightforward and informal attitude characteristic of the Corps. Try as he might, he has a hard time keeping his opinions to himself, and an even harder time backing down on them--whether he's for you or against you, he doesn't do it half-heartedly. But even more stubborn and willful is his dragon, Iskierka, a rare fire-breathing Kazilik who does whatever she pleases whenever she pleases. Despite his lifelong experience working with dragons, not even Granby can control Iskierka, and when it comes to her... he's resigned himself to just making sure she doesn't set anything too important on fire.
Sample Entry:
I am sorry, but I shan't bite my tongue over something like this. This is nothing short of an insult, and I cannot bring myself to sit back and take it; Admiralty's orders be damned. Whether you care to dignify the rank of an aviator or not, I am a captain and we are at war; what is the meaning of shipping England's only fire-breather off to the colonies and off duty, and keeping the both of us useless? And to finally see myself sent to her, only to hear that I am not to be serving as a soldier of the King, but as a common firefighter! Begging your pardon if she has set the continent aflame, and I will pay for the damages and more, but this is hardly a job on which to waste a captain and his dragon for a year or more--
--Oh, hell, I suppose if there is a fire going on right as we speak, it is no time to be sitting around arguing over one thing or another. Yes, of course; I will not just sit back and watch you all burn yourselves. There's snow all about you; toss it on the building, for God's sake! And you, sirs, go find us a hose instead of shouting your heads off. It is quite obvious that the roof is on fire, thank you, but I would rather not see it burn while you're sitting here twiddling your thumbs.
Well, at the very least, I can see why you are in need of a good firefighter. That was far more work than it should have been, and the lot of you look like you've already been through the fires of Hell and back a dozen times without doing a thing about it. Are the States truly that flammable, even in winter? And you've kept Iskierka here without her captain how long! Brilliant, the Government; they'd rather see everything up in smoke than listen to an aviator. No wonder the Frogs handed the land over if it could be lit up so easily. I must say, I have no intention of taking back any land for England while I'm here, as we've got much more urgent things to worry about; but you can't but admit it would be a damned easy sight. Where is your covert? You don't mean to say you have no creatures here at all to defend yourselves with?
...Nonsense. I've never heard anything of the like in all my years with the Corps. There's no way a single beast could fight off whatever enemy forces come its way, no matter how talented. And without even the capability of flight? Oh, honestly. Don't think an aviator frightened by the mere mention of a creature. By all means, I should like to see this Marcy personally if she is half as mighty as you say; and at least if we are to visit the lake there is less a chance of anything catching on fire, and we shall all only be as flaming as Iskierka sees fit.
Poll Vote!