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I CAN NEVER ESCAPE APPS. NEVER. Keep voting!
Remember!
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Now VOTE. okay whatever, these results aren't changing and I don't want these kids to have to wait. o/ WE GOOD HERE.
Character: John Brown
Series: Ghost Hunt
Character's Age: 20
Canon: Sometimes the line between the living world and the spirit world gets a little blurred. That is what Taniyama Mai finds out one day when she meets the ghost hunter known as Shibuya Kazuya and his associates, known as the Shibuya Psychic Research Center, or SPR, who are hired to assist people in their problems with the paranormal. After assisting the SPR in a case, many of them continued to work with the SPR, including a foreign Catholic priest known as John Brown.
John Brown is called upon by the SPR to perform exorcisms. In concurrence with his role as a Catholic priest, John is a very good-natured and helpful individual. John, typically being the most "normal" of the SPR, smiles at his colleagues' wacky antics, even though he is not a part of them himself, like a friend watching siblings bicker. John tries his best to help the SPR in any way possible, whether it is helping Shibuya set up a home base or carry equipment. He is a polite and well-mannered individual and will try his best to not offend anyone.
Note: When learning Japanese, John Brown learned it in the Kansai region of Japan, thus learning Kansai-ben. The English dub gave John an Australian accent and the apper decided it would be better to go with that instead.
Sample Post:
Miss Sayre, it was a good thing you asked for my help when you did. Possessions can be dangerous for everyone involved. It would be best to expel the evil spirit from your camp worker Miss Marcy as soon as possible and it'll hopefully end the problems that your campers here have been having with Marcy. Ah, there is nothing to be worried about. Marcy will be just fine afterwards. I am a bit confused about something that happened earlier, though.
You called me to help exorcise Marcy, yet when I got here, I was immediately thrown into a room filled with nothing but treadmills and dumbbells. In fact, your oddly dressed assistants pointed to a set of swim suits and told me that water aerobics is at the lake and that it starts in thirty minutes. That wasn't the type of "exorcise" I was talking about, but I'm sure that it was all just a misunderstanding. Now, I don't mean to impose, but I do I believe I am ready to exorcise Marcy, so would you mind taking me to her? Ah, your assistant will take me, that's fine. . .and no, I will not need the dumbbells.
While we are on our way, do you think I could hear the story of how Marcy got possessed? I believe I heard from one of your colleagues that the spirit of an angry mother is possessing Marcy, but it would be better if I heard he full story. . . .Well, I suppose it is possible for a spirit to retain the anger it had during it's time alive if a dingo ate their baby, but what was a dingo doing in Louisiana? In any case, I believe it'll be best to help the spirit after the exorcism to help it forget the anger it still has so that this doesn't happen anymore. . . .Yes, just like what Jesus would do, though I don't think Jesus would do it like that. D-do you think you can put down the altar boy and put your pants back on?
Is this the lake where Marcy has been holding up? An. . .odd location for a person possessed to hide, but either way, we should really exorcise Marcy while we can. Now if you would please back up so you do-- a fiddle? Why did you give me a fiddle? . . .To best the devil? I'm sorry, but I believe the devil went down to Georgia, not Louisiana. It really is a nice fiddle, but I do not believe I will need it to rid Marcy of the spirit possessing her. Now, to best exorcise Marcy, it would better if I saw her and-- n-no no, I said I didn't come here to exercise, but if it'll keep me from being tossed into the billabong I'll waltz with you.
Y-Yes, I'll call you Matilda too.
Poll Vote!
Character: Kurando Inugami
Series: Shadow Hearts: Covenant
Character Age: 17
Canon: If you enjoy war stories, spooky organizations, Russian brides, and swapping porn for clothes, Shadow Hearts: Covenant's story might call to you. At the beginning of World War I, Yuri Hyuga finds himself under the spell of a very nasty curse, which eventually leads him to the people targeting him: Sapientes Gladio, a mysterious group who, under control of none other than Rasputin himself, wish to gain control of Europe. Cue Yuri and his lovable team traveling to various locations to rid him of the curse that plagues him as well as trying to save the world from the vicious war and the people who would seek to destroy it. It's when the team's airship crashes into Japan that they encounter Kurando Inugami, a young man serving as a bodyguard.
Seemingly nothing more than a boy from his looks, Kurando is next in line to lead the Inugami clan. He's every bit a man from his skill with the katana to his ability to keep a level head when faced with difficult tasks. With the responsibility of being one day in charge, he takes things very seriously and maturely. Being a bodyguard means putting yourself in all sorts of dire situations, and Kurando's loyalty to those he serves means that he would be willing to sacrifice himself for their well-being. Always one to "go with the flow" when presented with group decisions, Kurando is someone who won't put up a fuss if you need help from him. Heck, he'll even offer you a hand if you're getting into something that might be a bit over your head-- provided you aren't trying to do something that's evil; with his sense of justice you might find your plans being foiled before they can get off the ground.
Sample Post:
All of the signs around tell me that this is a camp, but what sort of camp is it? Reading the name was enough to tell something was off about it. The only things I've run into so far are some sort of monsters and these birds that appear to communicate through direct contact with the mind, no people at all; the residents must be locked up somewhere for ransom or worse. It may have been by chance I ended up here, but I can't leave knowing that innocent people are being treated this way. From what I can tell the one in charge is someone named Miss Sayre, if anyone has the answers to what's going on, it must be her. Now if only there were a way to get to her without worrying about running into anymore of those things.
Ah, the path this way seems clear of those creatures. I wonder what exactly they are? They seem almost human in many ways, could it be that someone is attempting to bring the dead back? Such a fiendish act, I almost don't want to think about it being true. There are enough here to make an army, and if someone sent them outside of this area, there would be even more problems. So what you're telling me is that's exactly what's going on? The person who's making them needs to be stopped before they can do that. If I could only find someone aside from those creatures and these birds, someone who could explain to me what's really happening here-- Oh, you say you know something more about all of this? I'm sorry if I offended you by assuming you didn't. You're used to it, you say?
Please, allow me to apologize and ask properly: Is there anything you can tell me about the condition the people here are in? Anything at all will do, no matter how small the detail is. All I need to continue is a good lead, perhaps you could point me in the direction of Miss Sayre or the person who's responsible for those horrid creatures? No, I don't have any food on me in exchange for the information, and now isn't the time for that. There are more pressing matters we need to attend to.
Let me be more direct, are there any free people around and is there a place they're using as a hideout? "They're at the lake with Marcy"? I see, this person must be the one protecting all of the others. That must be a terrible burden for one person alone, I'd like to meet this Marcy and offer her my services as a bodyguard until we can find a way to free the hostages. If she's busy taking care of the others, there's no one there to watch her back-- Yes, I assure you I know what I'm getting myself into. There's no need to warn me off from going to the lake. Wasn't it yourself who told me that's where everyone had gathered? Please, don't worry about the dangers that may face me along the way, it was me who offered to defend the people of this camp. If this brave Marcy is doing her part to save this land, allow me to do mine.
Poll Vote!
Character: Richter Abend.
Series: Tales of Symphonia: Dawn of a New World.
Character Age: 20.
Canon: After the events of Tales of Symphonia, the world is a little less than peachy keen. New levels of discrimination are emerging between the residents of the formerly separate worlds, monsters are making like sorority girls on spring break and going wild, and the weather doesn't seem to be too agreeable either. But our intrepid heroes know the score- if they can just catch- I mean hatch all the Centurion cores, the monsters will be under control again and the weather will go back to the norm. So a pushy girl, a boy with a slight case of MPD, and their not-quite beloved dog in a black coat ... thing head out to save the world, and give some old heroes their token cameos.
One of the people that gets our darling bipolar hero off on his journey happens to be one Richter Abend. A mysterious man who seems to have an agenda of his own, he travels with the Centurion known as Aqua. Despite being brash, direct, unwilling to confirm to the will of others, and a generally atypical sort of mentor figure, he is the one who gives Emil (previously mentioned MPD hero-type) his first lessons in fighting, and urges him to become more than he is. Although he appears to have the typical 'strong silent swordsman' thing going, it seems that Richter is genuinely uncomfortable in many social situations, including Emil's boyish admiration of him. Though he is shown to be working against our protagonists, he is never really shown to be the classical villain, and is often an extremely sympathetic character. For most of the game Richter's true motives remain unreadable- a kind of enigma wrapped in constant hair-flips and socially awkward glasses fidgeting.
Sample Post:
After surveying this area, I have to doubt the legitimacy of my sources. No one here seems to have ever heard of the item I was searching for- but then again no one here seems to even be able to verbalize any words without trailing off mid-sentence. The people here seem completely out of it in general, and I have yet to find something living that's entirely humanoid. The best response I got was from a fowl of all things, which should be entirely impossible- especially for me. I'm not the one that makes a habit of feeding them regularly. The only thing it could talk about was a stream of subconsciousness anyway; unless 'Desu-ese' is some language I'm unfamiliar with. All attempts to interact with the other fauna of this place have proved to be futile. The large purple monster seemed happy with not trying to chew on my boots, which is an improvement. In a way.
Miss Sayre instructed me in her letter that upon my arrival I should simply ask one of the residents for directions. The bird has said something along the lines of going down a rabbit hole, following a trail of breadcrumbs, arguing with one of the undead, and taking a left at Lake Nobody Cares. There was a lake listed on the map I was sent with the original information, but at this point I doubt that it's more than a coincidence. The monster holding the item I'm looking for does make it's home near large bodies of water, but so far the only landmarks I've seen were that mountain and a few trees with clothes hanging off of them. The bird is still trying to direct me, but all of its suggestions appear to be random and based through unfounded specula-
... So there is an actual lake. Judging from the discoloration of the water, it's likely the dumping grounds of some highly dangerous waste. It's not surprising that any creatures living around this would be so heavily warped. I'm going to have to get close to it, but if you insist on following, don't fly in front of me. I still have to kill the creature known as 'Marcy' to get the item she holds, and your previous suggestions lead me to believe that you would have no idea on where to find her. Luckily, if my information is correct, just being in her general vicinity should be enough to lure her out. I'm going to go take care of this, so just wait here. And don't follow me.
Wait, I think I just saw one of her appendages- she's moving away quickly, probably attempting to escape. It's too far out to go investigate, and I suspect would only work to her benefit if we were to fight anywhere but on land. Perhaps if we circle to the eastern shore ... Damn, never mind, I've lost sight of her. I wasn't aware she could communicate as well, but I'm almost sure she yelled something out. I don't know what she could've meant by 'getting me and my little bird too' the next time. I'm unaware of how she got the name Dorothy, but it isn't mine.
Poll Vote!
Character: Haruhi Suzumiya
Series: The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya
Character Age: 15/16
Canon: Haruhi is a girl with no interest in normal people and is always on the lookout for strange things and herself knowledgeable in all matters of the paranormal. To try to find adventure, Haruhi created the SOS Brigade, a club dedicated to finding aliens, time travelers, and ESPers and having fun with them. The big twist that is that Haruhi herself is something not human, possibly a crack in space-time, the first technological entity to be born in the universe, or even god. It depends on what brigade member you ask, but she can never know or else her powers, which give her the ability to subconsciously alter reality, might destroy the world.
Still, the SOS Brigade is her pride and joy and she sees her position of leader as immensely important. Haruhi is so eager for adventure that she sometimes jumps ahead of herself and starts seeing weird patterns and situations that don’t actually exist, except in her head. She sees the world in terms of fiction clichés and she tries to replicate those situations in hopes that something similar will happen to her. When in her element, Haruhi is full of energy and eagerness, smiling cheerfully as she bosses people around. She doesn’t see anything wrong with being so bossy and rude as she overall lacks an understanding of social norms and personal space. When things don’t go her way she becomes very cold and snappish to everyone.
Sample Post:
Prepare for a celebration, Camp Fuck You Die! The great leader of the SOS Brigade, Haruhi Suzumiya, has arrived! Of course, what brings me here are my skills as an ultra detective. My name is notorious throughout the world and wherever weird happenings are present, I will be there! Now, I demand you tell me what sort of strange things you have encountered here and what sort of strange things you plan to encounter in the future.
No, I don’t mean the zombies. Everyone talks about them, they’re not a mystery! Zombies can be interesting but they’re just so overdone in horror movies and games. Everyone is missing the real mystery here and it’s my job as ultra detective to point it out to you idiots. Where are all the typical camp legends and lore, the kind that are told around the campfire at night? Where are stories of the ghosts of kids drowned in the lake haunting cabins? Or the monster in the forest or even a killer who picks off unsuspecting campers one by one? Or even the legend of the toxic food served in the mess hall by a scary looking and bitter cook?! The lack of any suspicious situations that usually arise in places like this is what makes this place suspicious!
So we’re starting an investigation squad to discover the truth behind the lack of camp mysteries here! And since I lack my usual henchmen, I guess you campers will have to do~! It’s important to have the right archetypes to make up the group, why else do you think people in anime and games always end up on adventures? It’s not just by random chance. With my expert knowledge and skills, I’m the only one fit to be leader. Next on the list are a vice-chief, a menial tasks guy, a silent but smart type, and most importantly the mascot! A cute girl with big doe eyes and big boobs is the perfect moe mascot type. A mascot is important to bring attention to your cause; she provides the fan service to attract shallow male viewers! Men are easily attracted to that sort of thing, even if she’s totally useless and dies early on in the story. When the monster comes chasing after us, she screams “kyaaaaaaaaaa!” as she trips and falls. That sort of situation proves that there will definitely be adventures ahead~!
Now, I know you all want to join Haruhi Suzumiya’s investigation squad and encounter all the amazing things you can encounter in camp. We’ll find those ghosts, killers and even get ourselves a bitter cook! I have special requirements for the mascot so if you girls want to be one, get over here so I can inspect you!
…
Don’t scream like that, I just have to make sure your breasts are the right size for the bunnygirl costume. Fanservice is serious business, you know!
Poll Vote!
Name: Fujioka Haruhi
Series: Ouran High School Host Club (Manga)
Character Age: 15
Canon: Ouran High School Host Club is the story of six young men who like to spend their spare time playing hosts to the young ladies of the expensive, exclusive academy. It's also the story of Fujioka Haruhi, a scholarship student who walks into their club one day by accident. She also soon finds herself in debt to the club for breaking a vase... and once the other club members discover the person beneath the sweatshirt and large glasses, she's soon made a host.
Haruhi doesn't care much for gender or gender roles. When she first arrives at the host club, her clothes make her appear male, and she doesn't bother to correct that assumption. It really doesn't matter to her. Her words can often be blunt, especially with her fellow hosts, who don't understand why some things make a difference. She's practical and very down to earth, shopping at the grocery store when there are specials, and making the most of her time with the host club. Whatever she needs to do, she tends to get done... even if she has to dodge or haul along her fellow hosts in the process.
Sample post:
I don't get these guys. Why'd they come here, and why did they have to bring me along? You'd think that after having a taste of the "commoner lifestyle" they wouldn't insist on dragging me all the way to some dead-end spot in Louisiana for some summer camp. Of course, I'm the one that has to buy the instant coffee all the time, so I'm not surprised. They insist on acting as foolish as always. And they expect me to explain everything! You'd think that even they'd have common sense after all this time.
Take the lake that we're at, for example. The lake monster's named Marcy. Other campers say she's real, but I don't think so. Monsters don't exist, so she has to be mechanical. Rich people like things like that. Maybe they like the possibility of being torn off their boat by mechanical tentacles like that. I guess they like it that way. The person who made this must have liked tentacle porn or something.
Actually, I have to wonder about the rest of the wildlife here, too. The toucans look real enough. One tried to bite my fingers off when I was making tea, though. And those squirrels... squirrels will defend themselves if they're threatened. But anyone knows they're not carnivorous. I still can't believe they ate that poor cat! And don't get me started on the purple apes. Apes don't come in that shade of purple. It's all a great fake to pull in the credulous.
And those zombies... they have to be robots or something. I don't think they're human. Sure, they look very real, all green and missing parts and everything! But zombies, like ghosts, don't exist. So they have to be a fake, because there's no way that they could still move if they were dead. Though why set this whole thing up in the middle of nowhere? It must be a rich thing. That's all I can think of.
It would explain why that zombie's in a suit and tie....
Poll Vote!
Remember!
- Applicants, respond anonymously.
- If you're going to do the whole "ask me if I voted you out!" thing, please state who you voted out.
- No speculating about the identity of the applicants!
Now VOTE. okay whatever, these results aren't changing and I don't want these kids to have to wait. o/ WE GOOD HERE.
Character: John Brown
Series: Ghost Hunt
Character's Age: 20
Canon: Sometimes the line between the living world and the spirit world gets a little blurred. That is what Taniyama Mai finds out one day when she meets the ghost hunter known as Shibuya Kazuya and his associates, known as the Shibuya Psychic Research Center, or SPR, who are hired to assist people in their problems with the paranormal. After assisting the SPR in a case, many of them continued to work with the SPR, including a foreign Catholic priest known as John Brown.
John Brown is called upon by the SPR to perform exorcisms. In concurrence with his role as a Catholic priest, John is a very good-natured and helpful individual. John, typically being the most "normal" of the SPR, smiles at his colleagues' wacky antics, even though he is not a part of them himself, like a friend watching siblings bicker. John tries his best to help the SPR in any way possible, whether it is helping Shibuya set up a home base or carry equipment. He is a polite and well-mannered individual and will try his best to not offend anyone.
Note: When learning Japanese, John Brown learned it in the Kansai region of Japan, thus learning Kansai-ben. The English dub gave John an Australian accent and the apper decided it would be better to go with that instead.
Sample Post:
Miss Sayre, it was a good thing you asked for my help when you did. Possessions can be dangerous for everyone involved. It would be best to expel the evil spirit from your camp worker Miss Marcy as soon as possible and it'll hopefully end the problems that your campers here have been having with Marcy. Ah, there is nothing to be worried about. Marcy will be just fine afterwards. I am a bit confused about something that happened earlier, though.
You called me to help exorcise Marcy, yet when I got here, I was immediately thrown into a room filled with nothing but treadmills and dumbbells. In fact, your oddly dressed assistants pointed to a set of swim suits and told me that water aerobics is at the lake and that it starts in thirty minutes. That wasn't the type of "exorcise" I was talking about, but I'm sure that it was all just a misunderstanding. Now, I don't mean to impose, but I do I believe I am ready to exorcise Marcy, so would you mind taking me to her? Ah, your assistant will take me, that's fine. . .and no, I will not need the dumbbells.
While we are on our way, do you think I could hear the story of how Marcy got possessed? I believe I heard from one of your colleagues that the spirit of an angry mother is possessing Marcy, but it would be better if I heard he full story. . . .Well, I suppose it is possible for a spirit to retain the anger it had during it's time alive if a dingo ate their baby, but what was a dingo doing in Louisiana? In any case, I believe it'll be best to help the spirit after the exorcism to help it forget the anger it still has so that this doesn't happen anymore. . . .Yes, just like what Jesus would do, though I don't think Jesus would do it like that. D-do you think you can put down the altar boy and put your pants back on?
Is this the lake where Marcy has been holding up? An. . .odd location for a person possessed to hide, but either way, we should really exorcise Marcy while we can. Now if you would please back up so you do-- a fiddle? Why did you give me a fiddle? . . .To best the devil? I'm sorry, but I believe the devil went down to Georgia, not Louisiana. It really is a nice fiddle, but I do not believe I will need it to rid Marcy of the spirit possessing her. Now, to best exorcise Marcy, it would better if I saw her and-- n-no no, I said I didn't come here to exercise, but if it'll keep me from being tossed into the billabong I'll waltz with you.
Y-Yes, I'll call you Matilda too.
Poll Vote!
Character: Kurando Inugami
Series: Shadow Hearts: Covenant
Character Age: 17
Canon: If you enjoy war stories, spooky organizations, Russian brides, and swapping porn for clothes, Shadow Hearts: Covenant's story might call to you. At the beginning of World War I, Yuri Hyuga finds himself under the spell of a very nasty curse, which eventually leads him to the people targeting him: Sapientes Gladio, a mysterious group who, under control of none other than Rasputin himself, wish to gain control of Europe. Cue Yuri and his lovable team traveling to various locations to rid him of the curse that plagues him as well as trying to save the world from the vicious war and the people who would seek to destroy it. It's when the team's airship crashes into Japan that they encounter Kurando Inugami, a young man serving as a bodyguard.
Seemingly nothing more than a boy from his looks, Kurando is next in line to lead the Inugami clan. He's every bit a man from his skill with the katana to his ability to keep a level head when faced with difficult tasks. With the responsibility of being one day in charge, he takes things very seriously and maturely. Being a bodyguard means putting yourself in all sorts of dire situations, and Kurando's loyalty to those he serves means that he would be willing to sacrifice himself for their well-being. Always one to "go with the flow" when presented with group decisions, Kurando is someone who won't put up a fuss if you need help from him. Heck, he'll even offer you a hand if you're getting into something that might be a bit over your head-- provided you aren't trying to do something that's evil; with his sense of justice you might find your plans being foiled before they can get off the ground.
Sample Post:
All of the signs around tell me that this is a camp, but what sort of camp is it? Reading the name was enough to tell something was off about it. The only things I've run into so far are some sort of monsters and these birds that appear to communicate through direct contact with the mind, no people at all; the residents must be locked up somewhere for ransom or worse. It may have been by chance I ended up here, but I can't leave knowing that innocent people are being treated this way. From what I can tell the one in charge is someone named Miss Sayre, if anyone has the answers to what's going on, it must be her. Now if only there were a way to get to her without worrying about running into anymore of those things.
Ah, the path this way seems clear of those creatures. I wonder what exactly they are? They seem almost human in many ways, could it be that someone is attempting to bring the dead back? Such a fiendish act, I almost don't want to think about it being true. There are enough here to make an army, and if someone sent them outside of this area, there would be even more problems. So what you're telling me is that's exactly what's going on? The person who's making them needs to be stopped before they can do that. If I could only find someone aside from those creatures and these birds, someone who could explain to me what's really happening here-- Oh, you say you know something more about all of this? I'm sorry if I offended you by assuming you didn't. You're used to it, you say?
Please, allow me to apologize and ask properly: Is there anything you can tell me about the condition the people here are in? Anything at all will do, no matter how small the detail is. All I need to continue is a good lead, perhaps you could point me in the direction of Miss Sayre or the person who's responsible for those horrid creatures? No, I don't have any food on me in exchange for the information, and now isn't the time for that. There are more pressing matters we need to attend to.
Let me be more direct, are there any free people around and is there a place they're using as a hideout? "They're at the lake with Marcy"? I see, this person must be the one protecting all of the others. That must be a terrible burden for one person alone, I'd like to meet this Marcy and offer her my services as a bodyguard until we can find a way to free the hostages. If she's busy taking care of the others, there's no one there to watch her back-- Yes, I assure you I know what I'm getting myself into. There's no need to warn me off from going to the lake. Wasn't it yourself who told me that's where everyone had gathered? Please, don't worry about the dangers that may face me along the way, it was me who offered to defend the people of this camp. If this brave Marcy is doing her part to save this land, allow me to do mine.
Poll Vote!
Character: Richter Abend.
Series: Tales of Symphonia: Dawn of a New World.
Character Age: 20.
Canon: After the events of Tales of Symphonia, the world is a little less than peachy keen. New levels of discrimination are emerging between the residents of the formerly separate worlds, monsters are making like sorority girls on spring break and going wild, and the weather doesn't seem to be too agreeable either. But our intrepid heroes know the score- if they can just catch- I mean hatch all the Centurion cores, the monsters will be under control again and the weather will go back to the norm. So a pushy girl, a boy with a slight case of MPD, and their not-quite beloved dog in a black coat ... thing head out to save the world, and give some old heroes their token cameos.
One of the people that gets our darling bipolar hero off on his journey happens to be one Richter Abend. A mysterious man who seems to have an agenda of his own, he travels with the Centurion known as Aqua. Despite being brash, direct, unwilling to confirm to the will of others, and a generally atypical sort of mentor figure, he is the one who gives Emil (previously mentioned MPD hero-type) his first lessons in fighting, and urges him to become more than he is. Although he appears to have the typical 'strong silent swordsman' thing going, it seems that Richter is genuinely uncomfortable in many social situations, including Emil's boyish admiration of him. Though he is shown to be working against our protagonists, he is never really shown to be the classical villain, and is often an extremely sympathetic character. For most of the game Richter's true motives remain unreadable- a kind of enigma wrapped in constant hair-flips and socially awkward glasses fidgeting.
Sample Post:
After surveying this area, I have to doubt the legitimacy of my sources. No one here seems to have ever heard of the item I was searching for- but then again no one here seems to even be able to verbalize any words without trailing off mid-sentence. The people here seem completely out of it in general, and I have yet to find something living that's entirely humanoid. The best response I got was from a fowl of all things, which should be entirely impossible- especially for me. I'm not the one that makes a habit of feeding them regularly. The only thing it could talk about was a stream of subconsciousness anyway; unless 'Desu-ese' is some language I'm unfamiliar with. All attempts to interact with the other fauna of this place have proved to be futile. The large purple monster seemed happy with not trying to chew on my boots, which is an improvement. In a way.
Miss Sayre instructed me in her letter that upon my arrival I should simply ask one of the residents for directions. The bird has said something along the lines of going down a rabbit hole, following a trail of breadcrumbs, arguing with one of the undead, and taking a left at Lake Nobody Cares. There was a lake listed on the map I was sent with the original information, but at this point I doubt that it's more than a coincidence. The monster holding the item I'm looking for does make it's home near large bodies of water, but so far the only landmarks I've seen were that mountain and a few trees with clothes hanging off of them. The bird is still trying to direct me, but all of its suggestions appear to be random and based through unfounded specula-
... So there is an actual lake. Judging from the discoloration of the water, it's likely the dumping grounds of some highly dangerous waste. It's not surprising that any creatures living around this would be so heavily warped. I'm going to have to get close to it, but if you insist on following, don't fly in front of me. I still have to kill the creature known as 'Marcy' to get the item she holds, and your previous suggestions lead me to believe that you would have no idea on where to find her. Luckily, if my information is correct, just being in her general vicinity should be enough to lure her out. I'm going to go take care of this, so just wait here. And don't follow me.
Wait, I think I just saw one of her appendages- she's moving away quickly, probably attempting to escape. It's too far out to go investigate, and I suspect would only work to her benefit if we were to fight anywhere but on land. Perhaps if we circle to the eastern shore ... Damn, never mind, I've lost sight of her. I wasn't aware she could communicate as well, but I'm almost sure she yelled something out. I don't know what she could've meant by 'getting me and my little bird too' the next time. I'm unaware of how she got the name Dorothy, but it isn't mine.
Poll Vote!
Character: Haruhi Suzumiya
Series: The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya
Character Age: 15/16
Canon: Haruhi is a girl with no interest in normal people and is always on the lookout for strange things and herself knowledgeable in all matters of the paranormal. To try to find adventure, Haruhi created the SOS Brigade, a club dedicated to finding aliens, time travelers, and ESPers and having fun with them. The big twist that is that Haruhi herself is something not human, possibly a crack in space-time, the first technological entity to be born in the universe, or even god. It depends on what brigade member you ask, but she can never know or else her powers, which give her the ability to subconsciously alter reality, might destroy the world.
Still, the SOS Brigade is her pride and joy and she sees her position of leader as immensely important. Haruhi is so eager for adventure that she sometimes jumps ahead of herself and starts seeing weird patterns and situations that don’t actually exist, except in her head. She sees the world in terms of fiction clichés and she tries to replicate those situations in hopes that something similar will happen to her. When in her element, Haruhi is full of energy and eagerness, smiling cheerfully as she bosses people around. She doesn’t see anything wrong with being so bossy and rude as she overall lacks an understanding of social norms and personal space. When things don’t go her way she becomes very cold and snappish to everyone.
Sample Post:
Prepare for a celebration, Camp Fuck You Die! The great leader of the SOS Brigade, Haruhi Suzumiya, has arrived! Of course, what brings me here are my skills as an ultra detective. My name is notorious throughout the world and wherever weird happenings are present, I will be there! Now, I demand you tell me what sort of strange things you have encountered here and what sort of strange things you plan to encounter in the future.
No, I don’t mean the zombies. Everyone talks about them, they’re not a mystery! Zombies can be interesting but they’re just so overdone in horror movies and games. Everyone is missing the real mystery here and it’s my job as ultra detective to point it out to you idiots. Where are all the typical camp legends and lore, the kind that are told around the campfire at night? Where are stories of the ghosts of kids drowned in the lake haunting cabins? Or the monster in the forest or even a killer who picks off unsuspecting campers one by one? Or even the legend of the toxic food served in the mess hall by a scary looking and bitter cook?! The lack of any suspicious situations that usually arise in places like this is what makes this place suspicious!
So we’re starting an investigation squad to discover the truth behind the lack of camp mysteries here! And since I lack my usual henchmen, I guess you campers will have to do~! It’s important to have the right archetypes to make up the group, why else do you think people in anime and games always end up on adventures? It’s not just by random chance. With my expert knowledge and skills, I’m the only one fit to be leader. Next on the list are a vice-chief, a menial tasks guy, a silent but smart type, and most importantly the mascot! A cute girl with big doe eyes and big boobs is the perfect moe mascot type. A mascot is important to bring attention to your cause; she provides the fan service to attract shallow male viewers! Men are easily attracted to that sort of thing, even if she’s totally useless and dies early on in the story. When the monster comes chasing after us, she screams “kyaaaaaaaaaa!” as she trips and falls. That sort of situation proves that there will definitely be adventures ahead~!
Now, I know you all want to join Haruhi Suzumiya’s investigation squad and encounter all the amazing things you can encounter in camp. We’ll find those ghosts, killers and even get ourselves a bitter cook! I have special requirements for the mascot so if you girls want to be one, get over here so I can inspect you!
…
Don’t scream like that, I just have to make sure your breasts are the right size for the bunnygirl costume. Fanservice is serious business, you know!
Poll Vote!
Name: Fujioka Haruhi
Series: Ouran High School Host Club (Manga)
Character Age: 15
Canon: Ouran High School Host Club is the story of six young men who like to spend their spare time playing hosts to the young ladies of the expensive, exclusive academy. It's also the story of Fujioka Haruhi, a scholarship student who walks into their club one day by accident. She also soon finds herself in debt to the club for breaking a vase... and once the other club members discover the person beneath the sweatshirt and large glasses, she's soon made a host.
Haruhi doesn't care much for gender or gender roles. When she first arrives at the host club, her clothes make her appear male, and she doesn't bother to correct that assumption. It really doesn't matter to her. Her words can often be blunt, especially with her fellow hosts, who don't understand why some things make a difference. She's practical and very down to earth, shopping at the grocery store when there are specials, and making the most of her time with the host club. Whatever she needs to do, she tends to get done... even if she has to dodge or haul along her fellow hosts in the process.
Sample post:
I don't get these guys. Why'd they come here, and why did they have to bring me along? You'd think that after having a taste of the "commoner lifestyle" they wouldn't insist on dragging me all the way to some dead-end spot in Louisiana for some summer camp. Of course, I'm the one that has to buy the instant coffee all the time, so I'm not surprised. They insist on acting as foolish as always. And they expect me to explain everything! You'd think that even they'd have common sense after all this time.
Take the lake that we're at, for example. The lake monster's named Marcy. Other campers say she's real, but I don't think so. Monsters don't exist, so she has to be mechanical. Rich people like things like that. Maybe they like the possibility of being torn off their boat by mechanical tentacles like that. I guess they like it that way. The person who made this must have liked tentacle porn or something.
Actually, I have to wonder about the rest of the wildlife here, too. The toucans look real enough. One tried to bite my fingers off when I was making tea, though. And those squirrels... squirrels will defend themselves if they're threatened. But anyone knows they're not carnivorous. I still can't believe they ate that poor cat! And don't get me started on the purple apes. Apes don't come in that shade of purple. It's all a great fake to pull in the credulous.
And those zombies... they have to be robots or something. I don't think they're human. Sure, they look very real, all green and missing parts and everything! But zombies, like ghosts, don't exist. So they have to be a fake, because there's no way that they could still move if they were dead. Though why set this whole thing up in the middle of nowhere? It must be a rich thing. That's all I can think of.
It would explain why that zombie's in a suit and tie....
Poll Vote!