(no subject)
I RETURN WITH A DUP IN HAND.
Remember!
- Applicants, respond anonymously.
- If you're going to do the whole "ask me if I voted you out!" thing, please state who you voted out.
- No speculating about the identity of the applicants!
Now VOTE. clooosed.
Character: Lag Seeing
Series: Tegami Bachi
Character Age: 12
Canon: In a world of perpetual night illuminated by an artificial sun, there exists a group of people called "Letter Bees". These Bees deliver precious letters from the people, filled with their "heart" (emotions and memories), as one of the most dangerous jobs possible: they have to cross miles of barren land infested with monstrous insects and in order to deliver letters to people who all too often hate them, and may even try to hurt them. The only real form of help they have is their "Dingo", usually an animal, trained to stay by their side and help protect them. So who better to do the job than a tiny and adorable 12-year-old boy?
Lag has been determined to become a Letter Bee ever since he himself was delivered as a letter (letters can be anything, even people) when he was a child. He's determined and focused on his goals, and enthusiastic and positive. He's also incredibly kind, and will go out of his way to help and protect others, and understands how precious 'heart' is to people. However, Lag is still just a kid (the uniform is even a few sizes too big), so he goes through life with innocence and naivety, a childish faith that everything will turn out alright in the end, and does it all while... well, crying. Lag's about the biggest crybaby there is; when he's not bawling, he's probably glomping someone.
Sample Post:
CFUD... CFUD... ah, this is pathetic... it's supposed to be huge, and I can't even find it! I guess I'll have to ask for directions. I wonder how you pronounce it? Kuhfud? Or maybe Seefood? Oh! I know! Maybe it's a... one of those... acrograms? Analgims? Analgames? Uh, those words where the letters stand for other words. I haven't seen any-- ah! There's someone now!
Um, excuse me! Mister! I've been travelling, I've gotta get to CFUD town right away, I've got an important delivery for the Director! Only, I think I took a wrong turn somewhere... I could really use some help here... and I'll definitely come back to help you out! I bet there's some medicines or something for you in town for that skin condition, and some... uh... 'braaaaiiiins' to eat, and... ma-maybe a doctor or two for your leg falling off but-- um... ah... um... s-sorry, that's my arm, if it's not too much trouble, could I have it back?
Eh? Oh, that's right! Auntie always told me to properly introduce myself... I totally forgot! Deep breath... mm... okay! HI! I'M LAG SEEING! PLEASED TO MEET YOU! I'LL BE THE LETTER BEE SERVING THIS AREA FOR NOW! I'VE COME WITH MY DINGO, N--
N...
Niche! Waaah! Where'd she go?! Ah, I came all this way with my Dingo, she's named Niche, but now she-- eh? Oh, you've got a Dingo, too? You called it "Johnson"? Ah, that's a nice name... but I don't see wh-- h-hey! What are you...?! No, no, it's fine, I don't need to see Johnson, please keep your pants on! Unless... ah, maybe it’s a local custom? I’m sorry! I’m not trying to be rude or anything, it’s just a bit awkward, people might get the wrong idea. I'm not from around here and I really need to know where this is! I’m a Letter Bee, and I’ve got a delivery for “Madam Director” at “CFUD”. Letters carry peoples important ‘heart’ and ‘hopes’, so it’s a Letter Bee’s job to risk their lives and deliver it no matter what! I’ll definitely do it. I really will!
Ah, this is it? Thank goodness! In that case, I’m sorry I’m late. It’s a really... ah, nice place, though! I mean it, like those purple gorillas, they’re so cool. It’s nice that you’ve got a lake, too, but I’m sorry, I don’t have time for a “Meet and Greet and Grope” with Marcy! I really need to find the Director so I can deliver her important letter: “this round’s new campers”!
Poll Vote!
Character: Niche
Series: Tegami Bachi
Character Age: 200; appearance: 6? 7?
Canon: Tegami Bachi is set in a world heavily segregated by wealth and class, its inhabitants torn apart by distance and the danger of travel. Separated from their Very Special Someones, the only thing left for characters in this series to do is to pour out their hearts into letters- and entrust them to the Letter Bees, the government employees tasked with the important work of delivering them. By the side of every Letter Bee stands his faithful dingo- protector, fighter, and general companion, animals both well-trained and loyal. And by Letter Bee Lag’s side stands Niche- who doesn’t seem interested in the fact that the job is not usually taken by little girls.
In fact, Niche doesn’t seem much interested in a lot of what passes for polite society. She wears underpants only because Lag gifted her with a pair, speaks her mind without softening her words, and had to be convinced that cutting people up with her bladelike hair is probably not a good idea. She is proud, possessive, and childish, and she has no sense of personal safety. When she’s angry, Niche announces it, and when she’s hungry, she’s likely to cut up and cook whatever happens to be nearby. To Niche, her job is Serious Business- and so is the thought that she might not be doing it as well as she ought to be.
Note: She really does switch from first to third person while speaking.
Sample App:
You! The hairy one! Niche’s name is not “Loli,” and she doesn’t need candy from white vans, either. Niche is too busy for your candy. Niche is doing important dingo things! I’m finding the way to the next delivery! And looking out for danger! And if someone gets hurt, I can lick it so that it gets better soon. Niche has gotten very good at licking- are you listening? Niche is still talking! Of course a dingo is fine, too. A dingo is important!
…your dingo? Be your dingo? Why would Niche be the dingo of an ugly, hairy, purple thing? Niche has only Lag! I won’t be yours, not even if you give me pants! Not even if you have a whole tree of pretty pants! Niche will cut up your pretty pants tree first! I’ll throw it in the lake! I’ll fish it out again! And cut it up more! And bite it! And bury it! Now you’ve done it! Now Niche is mad, and when Niche is mad, she gets hungry. And you don’t even have a tail, hairy thing, so you’d better tell me where to get one- or else Niche is going to have to cut up something else, instead!
The lake monster has lots of tails? Niche is gonna eat five, then. Tails are made of meat- they cook up nice and crispy if you put them in fire. I don’t even need your boat to get out on the lake- especially if it says fail on the side. Niche is good at things like cutting off tails, so there’s no way she’ll fail! And I won’t fail at anything else, either. Don’t you say that! Niche is never gonna be a failure of a dingo ever again. Now Niche is really mad!
That does it! You’re lucky Lag says no hurting people, cause you’d get cut to pieces! Get ready- this is gonna hurt really bad, cutting or no cutting! NOT HURTING PEOPLE CHOP!
Poll Vote!
Character: Hitachiin Hikaru
Series: Ouran High School Host Club
Character Age: 16
Canon: The goal of the Host Club is to pamper and entertain young ladies to bring joy to their lives. With six handsome men (and one girl forced to pretend to be a man), there is something for every taste and fetish a lady visiting the club might have. When it comes to incest and yaoi, the Hitachiin twins are the main attraction. Both are rich, spoiled, and sheltered from the ways of normal society. They're known to be mischievous types, often playing pranks and doing things aggravate others.
Hikaru is the older twin and plays the dominant when up to incestuous hijinx. This twin is completely oblivious not only to the feelings of others but his own feelings as well. Even though he's the older twin, he's often the immature one, losing his temper easily and often falling into bouts of jealousy. Not to mention that he is known to be 10% more evil than his younger sibling.
Sample Post:
We of the Ouran Host Club pride ourselves on true to life experiences. The costumes must reflect reality, the food must be authentic, and the scenery should mirror the true location to exactness. This is the way of the Host Club. And it can blow me, because this place is wretched and foul.
When we wanted to do a Louisiana theme with focus on the Cajuns, this intense research was not mentioned. This place is disgusting. I know commoners live in strange places, but really. It's hot and humid and there are bugs everywhere. Disgusting bugs that would make even the most manly of men scream in terror. Note to self: Invest in American Southern Insects for next Fright Night at school for great success and making people cry.
The object of this investigation, the Cajun, isn't even present! Not even under the bugs or watching the bugs or a Cajun disguised as a bug! I thought we would get to meet Gambit or some facsimile that would properly embody all the stereotypical traits I expect from an American Southern in the bayou! Some manner of toothless man who plods through the swamp in thigh high ugly boots while carrying a rifle while in search of some manner of beast to devour. Or a jolly, round woman baking cornbread while her children frolic in the bayou chasing frogs to eat for dinner! But there is no mangled French language, no shrimping boats, and not even a single incestuous pair of siblings to be seen. This is the South! I was going to research their version of forbidden love. It must be something like...
Golly thar, brother Kaoru. Don't you be runnin' the crab traps by your lonesome. If something were to happen, I'd be in such a state! That's why, dear brother, we should always go together! Whether it's fishing or shuckin' oysters, I'll be at your side! We just mustn't tell Maw or Paw, they'll never understand! Even though I think Maw is Paw's sis. Our affections are just too different to be understood.
And then said romantically involved siblings ride off into the sunset on their sad little boat. Well, they would be paddling because with the price of gas these days they couldn't afford to run the motor. But regardless, behold. The commoner's incest. Not nearly as enticing, but well within the tax bracket of the common man or woman. Just one outfit of mine costs more than their sad little boats, so the locals really will have to make due with the inferior incest until their incomes improve. I'm sure some hard work and folksy crafts would do the trick for that.
For example, constructing fantastic items such as this voodoo doll. Voodoo doll obtained. Operation: Terrorize The Opposition can commence. I guess this trip isn't a total bust. Oh, look. I just happen to have a few strands of a certain someone's hair....
Poll Vote!
Character: Hitachiin Kaoru
Series: Ouran High School Host Club (Manga)
Character Age: 16
Canon:Meet Hitachiin Kaoru, heir to a very high end fashion company along with his identical twin, Hikaru. The two of them were raised to appreciate fashion in all its forms: clothing, costuming, interior design, make-up, and more! It's their future. And when they aren't learning about the industry, taking traditional high school classes, or playing pranks on their friends and classmates, they can be found at the Ouran High School Host Club, founded by Tamaki Suoh for the sake of entertaining rich girls with beautiful men! But true entertainment takes the right hook, and the twins' hook is an act of forbidden brotherly love. Probably an act.
Between the two brothers, Kaoru is the more mature one. Even though he's younger, he's much more emotionally and socially aware and is usually the one to add some restraint to the antics he and his brother enjoy. Some, at least. He still gets a kick out of teasing and taunting Tamaki and the other club member and anyone they can get their hands on, really. Although he is nicer than his brother, particularly when dealing with women or when he's alone, he still has a habit of being blunt and a little demanding when dealing with people. He's also very oblivious to the ways of every day people (read: people who aren't sickeningly rich) and refers to them as commoners, flip-flopping between being impressed at their ingenuity or just plain Not Getting It.
Sample Post:
What a . . . quaint commoner's camp! It's a good attempt at an imitation of the resorts we're used to, but you have to admit it falls short. The lake is a nice touch, for example, but the colors are completely wrong. I know plaid's an acceptable color in the world of fashion, but it should never be seen in nature. You must tell us how they did it, though. It could be useful for a joke. Oh yes, speaking of the lake, I noticed someone actually bathing in it before! The management should issue a notice that lakes are never a suitable replacement for a proper bath. I realize there are commoners too poor to afford one, but that is why they've provided public baths! No one should bathe in something that fish and who knows what else live their lives in. You could mutate.
But at least if you mutated you won't look so ridiculous in those day-glo polka dots. Did you lose a bet? . . . You-you actually think it looks good?! Who would tell you such a lie? Day-glo has never been good fashion! And it clashes horribly with your grey complexion! Someone with your skin tone should be wearing browns or vibrant blues. Maybe a splash of red to accentuate your eyes-er. Eye. Did you lose it to some terrible lake beast?
D-don't cry! Milady, I didn't mean to bring up bad memories for you. Look, if you arrange your bangs to hide it like this no one will be able to tell. This style really suits the straightness of your hair too. It gives you a mysterious, haunting look. You'll fit right in with all the other zombies and ghouls. . . . Hm. I shouldn't stop with just the hairstyle. You need wardrobe advice as well.
I've decided! Since you're such a sad case, I'll take you on as a charity project. By this time tomorrow you'll have a brand new outfit hand-tailored by a famous Hitachiin. It's only right to give back to the needy common folk, and you're needier than any I've ever met. We'll have to start with the make-up since completing an outfit will take time, but don't think it's a small detail! Getting the right make-up is one of the most important parts. I can dress you up and fix your hair, but the whole look will fall apart if that's wrong. You like that sickly look you've got, don't you? I can work with that. Some black eye-liner and . . . hm. Do you prefer the Yellowing Bruise or Diseased Green for your blush? You're right, I like the yellow shade of blush too.
Now for the finishing touch! Some pale blue for that just rolled out of the grave look-don't nip! You'll have plenty of fools to sink your teeth into when I've finished with you.
Poll Vote!
Name: Yukiko Amagi
Series: Persona 4
Age: 17
Canon: Ah, peaceful Inaba: a small rural town whose only points of interest are the new department store, grilled steak, the weather, and rumors of a strange television program you can only watch at midnight on a rainy night-aptly called "The Midnight Channel". However, it quickly becomes obvious that video killed more than just the radio star, as the people who show up on the Midnight Channel soon turn up missing... or dead. As per usual, this series of unfortunate events can only be solved by a group of nosy teenagers and their issues, up against a mysterious mystery and world-threatening odds... but only by tuning in to their inner selves can they channel the strength of character needed to weather the storm.
Yukiko Amagi has lived her entire life in Inaba, and is next in line to manage its historical spa, the Amagi Inn-despite being a rather poor fit for the job, since she isn't terribly outgoing and she can't cook. While at first she appears to be the polite daughter of a traditional family, her true self is a lot more feisty. Once she's faced her own fears, she turns out to be a responsible, strong-willed young woman who's not afraid to resort to thinly-veiled threats or even violence when pushed. Most of the time she's even-tempered, and thinks about her words-often repeating information back to herself as she tries to puzzle things out-but her composure can dissolve into stammery, enthusiastic overcompensation when she feels out of her depth. She also possesses quite an unpredictable sense of humor-whether a terrible pun will irritate her, leave her incapacitated with laughter or merely rolling her eyes is anyone's guess.
Sample Entry:
Please, don't misunderstand, I'm certainly very honored by your offer to make the, um, "Cultural Freedom Upperclass Dayspa" of Louisiana the "sister-resort" to my family's inn. Having a sister-inn here in America might really help make it more popular, but...I-I don't think you're really our kind of establishment. I mean, a horror-movie theme is strange enough, but giving people directions full of useless things like "over the river and through the woods"-is that supposed to be a joke? Weird publicity is better than no publicity, I guess... but I don't think you should make it too difficult for people; you'll give yourself a reputation and scare them away. You should be proud of your resort, and not have to resort to cheap gags to win people over.
Although... it doesn't look like you're having much trouble with guests at the moment. April isn't usually a popular month for tourism. Is this time of year really that taxing for Americans? Still, you have to think of the rest of the year. People aren't going to be encouraged to relax if you have a brochure full of things like, "Come experience our open-air baths, perfect for spa-ing on people" or "Authentically rustic cabins-not-too-near-the-lake-so-stop-whining". It's more likely that they'd be constantly on their guard. Still, I'll try and learn everything I can about your establishment... that's only fair. Maybe you could tell me something unique or-Yes, that's exactly it: something that will help us get a feel for one anoth-wait. "Get a feel for...?" ...Ugh, how dare you! Take this-!!
...Oh. My hand moved without thinking. I'm sorry, I thought you were making some sort of perverted joke. But if that's not what you meant, I'm sure there's no problem... It's not like someone would file an official complaint and try and get your business license taken away over just one tacky joke. Especially because we've been getting along so well. Oh! I know, why don't you teach me how to make the area's specialty dish? Actually, before I came here, I'd been practicing my cooking a lot, and I'm almost making things entirely by myself now! O-Or, well... almost entirely cutting up all the ingredients myself. I'm sure I'll be fine. A soup shouldn't be that difficult. No, really... there's no point if I don't learn to do it myself, but it's nice of you to offer to give me a hand like th-wait. "Give me a hand"...?
-Pfffffffthahahahahaha-I get it! Give me a hand! Because, because, you're dressed as zombies, right? Fffffffhaha...th-that's- that's terrible! Hee...ahahahaaa, haaaa...
...N-No, I'm sorry, I got distracted. I promise I'll really put myself into making this soup! So, for soup...we need a liquid, right? In that case, probably any simple liquid we have on hand will work. Oh... what about the lake water? That's all natural, and you don't get any more "local flavor" than that, am I right? So then... there! If it's boiling, that means it's done, I'm sure. So, please, go right ahead! It's delicious, right?
..."To die for?"
...Sheesh, your sense of humor really is tasteless.
Poll Vote!
Applicant #1
Character: Sakurai Yuuto/Kamen Rider Zeronos
Series: Kamen Rider Den-O
Character Age: ~20
Canon: Kamen Rider Den-O is the story of the unluckiest guy in Tokyo and the brightly-colored monsters (Imagin) who sometimes possess him. Thanks to these Imagins and a train pass, Ryoutarou is able to transform into Kamen Rider Den-O. As Den-O, Ryoutarou can go into the past and prevent the evil Imagins from screwing with time. But this app isn't about him! It's about Sakurai Yuuto. Like Ryoutarou, Yuuto has a train pass and his very own Imagin.
Unfortunately, Yuuto is also in possession of a terrible temper. He taunts people or tells them to shut up and generally refuses to be helpful even towards his own allies. He's very particular about his food; he likes his sugar with just a little coffee and cares not for healthy food. Don't even try to deny him these things--he's quite ready to pretend the wall is more interesting than you or even administer comical abuse. He's cocky to boot; save the occasional variation, his catchphrase is "Let me say this to start, I'm pretty strong!" This attitude serves to protect himself from the fact that he has taken on the duty to protect his family, using powers that come at a terrible price. That's right. Buried very, very deeply within, Yuuto is a guy in way over his head who wants to be loved sometimes will accept hugs.
Sample Post:
You . . . What's the meaning of this?! You were just rolling measuring tape around my waist, so don't stand there looking so clueless now! What have you done to me?! You're really wrong if you think you can kidnap me and I'll just apologize a lot and thank you for the "Camp Fuck Your Diet" pamphlet. Which I looked through, anyway. You'd better give those thirty seconds of my life back--I don't have time to spare for you! And I don't need help for my sugar addiction either! I don't have any addictions! Maybe I've been told not to put anything in the coffee, but only morons would drink it by itself. Besides, this help is a total joke. I don't see how getting a cold and dressing like a turkey does anything. Is it supposed to be funny? I'm not even laughing.
Hey! I'm talking to you! You might have the costume ready, but the way you're grabbing at my clothes is pissing me off. I'm not going to put it on! I never signed up for this, so I'm not an in-patient. Or patient enough to listen to you. Look around! Even I could do a better job than you. Aren't people supposed to come here to eat healthy stuff and get strong? Instead, they're all moaning loudly and looking really grey. If you ask me, they look like they haven't gotten to eat in years. And I bet if I told you I don't have any money, I'll be next in the menu.
Speaking of the menu, you keep shoving that soup at me and saying it's native cuisine. I don't like it when I say I don't want something in my food, and people go and put it in anyway. If I said I'd pass on the eyeballs, I'd have to be really stupid to eat from that bowl when one is looking straight at me. And I'm leaving now, so it doesn't matter to me at all how good this soup will look by Tuesday.
Tch, I don't know why you're insisting so much, but I'm not going to argue anymore. If you want to keep me here, you're going to have to stop me. I have good luck when it comes to fights, and you're not scary. Come at me, I'll beat you so quickly that I'm going to change my phrase for you. So--Let me say this to finish, I'm pretty strong!
Applicant #2
Character: Sakurai Yuuto
Series: Kamen Rider Den-O
Character Age: Exact age hasn’t been revealed in canon, but he appears to be around 19.
Canon: In 2007, a new lifeform came flying from the sky. Or rather, the future. Known to the few who knows about them as Imagin, this lifeform feeds of of people’s wishes and makes contracts with humans in order to fly to their past and destroy it. Just like with any series that deals with time travelling on a regular basis, there’s bound to be someone to screw with both the main characters’ and viewers heads. For Kamen Rider Den-O, Sakura Yuuto is that person. While we have the Sakurai Yuuto from the now, we also have the Yuuto from the past running around in the now and fighting alongside Ryoutarou as Zeronos, as well as going back in time on his train the ZeroLiner.
This younger version of Yuuto is the one we’ve gotten the most familiar with. While admittedly very strong in a fight - as he likes to point out himself now and then - Yuuto is rather helpless on his own otherwise. Luckily enough, his older self has been kind enough to leave him a helper in the form of the imagin Deneb. Around others, Yuuto is abrupt, straight forward and rather rude. Around Deneb, and during his less guarded moments, he also shows his childish self and he has a tendency to snap use violence when he gets angry. Which basically happens when Deneb tries to make friends for him. Or sneaks the ever-hated shiitake-mushrooms into his food.
Sample Post:
Let me say this to start. …Pissed off isn’t a strong enough word. Time trains don’t derail, unless someone completely incompetent suddenly gets the idea that they want to drive for once. I don't even want to know what Deneb was trying to feed me if the fumes alone were enough to make him a drunk driver. It's not like I even need him to cook for me, I can take care of myself just fine! Especially since this place already has free food. If a mess hall in the middle of a swamp even offers anything edible anyway. Not that people would be able to tell if it is, with the smell going to their heads the moment they step out. And the swamp stench is bad enough on its own, but the lake... Someone had better not start suggesting fried squid for dinner.
Where did that idiot go anyway? If he thinks it's okay to get Zeroliner stranded in a swamp and then leave the retrieving part to me, he'd better think again. This is too ridiculous. These kinds of things don’t happen to me, they happen to Nogami. If his bad luck is rubbing off on me, I’m gonna- what are you looking at? If you and your friends have time to stand around there like looking like death itself then … Whatever. If you have that much time on your… That one doesn’t even have hands. …okay, if there is anyone around who doesn’t lack the necessary body parts to help pull my transport out of this mud hold, raise an arm.
…Yes, anyone's arm is fine.
You? No thanks, you're even worse than the rest. You look like you've been run over by a truck and you also look like you've decorated your face with... You have decorated your face with mushrooms. You can’t be serious. Ugh. I’ve always said mushrooms aren’t good for you; this just proves my point. But I guess you’ll do if no one else volunteer. Take this rope here, and I’ll go back to the train and-No, don’t follow me. I’m not letting you onto the train. Deneb might get crazy ideas like using your face decoration in his cooking or invite you to become my friend or whatever. I don't need friends! Especially not dead and rotting ones!
Hey, I said I don't need friends! Stop-Stop touching me! These clothes are new, and they were expensive too! You get any of that gooey stuff on my shirt and I’ll have you pay for the cleaning. Don’t. Touch. Me. I don’t care if its “goodtouching” or whatever you want to call it! No, "badtouching" isn't okay either!
…oh, that’s it. Rip my clothes and I’ll rip something off of you.
Poll Vote!
Remember!
- Applicants, respond anonymously.
- If you're going to do the whole "ask me if I voted you out!" thing, please state who you voted out.
- No speculating about the identity of the applicants!
Now VOTE. clooosed.
Character: Lag Seeing
Series: Tegami Bachi
Character Age: 12
Canon: In a world of perpetual night illuminated by an artificial sun, there exists a group of people called "Letter Bees". These Bees deliver precious letters from the people, filled with their "heart" (emotions and memories), as one of the most dangerous jobs possible: they have to cross miles of barren land infested with monstrous insects and in order to deliver letters to people who all too often hate them, and may even try to hurt them. The only real form of help they have is their "Dingo", usually an animal, trained to stay by their side and help protect them. So who better to do the job than a tiny and adorable 12-year-old boy?
Lag has been determined to become a Letter Bee ever since he himself was delivered as a letter (letters can be anything, even people) when he was a child. He's determined and focused on his goals, and enthusiastic and positive. He's also incredibly kind, and will go out of his way to help and protect others, and understands how precious 'heart' is to people. However, Lag is still just a kid (the uniform is even a few sizes too big), so he goes through life with innocence and naivety, a childish faith that everything will turn out alright in the end, and does it all while... well, crying. Lag's about the biggest crybaby there is; when he's not bawling, he's probably glomping someone.
Sample Post:
CFUD... CFUD... ah, this is pathetic... it's supposed to be huge, and I can't even find it! I guess I'll have to ask for directions. I wonder how you pronounce it? Kuhfud? Or maybe Seefood? Oh! I know! Maybe it's a... one of those... acrograms? Analgims? Analgames? Uh, those words where the letters stand for other words. I haven't seen any-- ah! There's someone now!
Um, excuse me! Mister! I've been travelling, I've gotta get to CFUD town right away, I've got an important delivery for the Director! Only, I think I took a wrong turn somewhere... I could really use some help here... and I'll definitely come back to help you out! I bet there's some medicines or something for you in town for that skin condition, and some... uh... 'braaaaiiiins' to eat, and... ma-maybe a doctor or two for your leg falling off but-- um... ah... um... s-sorry, that's my arm, if it's not too much trouble, could I have it back?
Eh? Oh, that's right! Auntie always told me to properly introduce myself... I totally forgot! Deep breath... mm... okay! HI! I'M LAG SEEING! PLEASED TO MEET YOU! I'LL BE THE LETTER BEE SERVING THIS AREA FOR NOW! I'VE COME WITH MY DINGO, N--
N...
Niche! Waaah! Where'd she go?! Ah, I came all this way with my Dingo, she's named Niche, but now she-- eh? Oh, you've got a Dingo, too? You called it "Johnson"? Ah, that's a nice name... but I don't see wh-- h-hey! What are you...?! No, no, it's fine, I don't need to see Johnson, please keep your pants on! Unless... ah, maybe it’s a local custom? I’m sorry! I’m not trying to be rude or anything, it’s just a bit awkward, people might get the wrong idea. I'm not from around here and I really need to know where this is! I’m a Letter Bee, and I’ve got a delivery for “Madam Director” at “CFUD”. Letters carry peoples important ‘heart’ and ‘hopes’, so it’s a Letter Bee’s job to risk their lives and deliver it no matter what! I’ll definitely do it. I really will!
Ah, this is it? Thank goodness! In that case, I’m sorry I’m late. It’s a really... ah, nice place, though! I mean it, like those purple gorillas, they’re so cool. It’s nice that you’ve got a lake, too, but I’m sorry, I don’t have time for a “Meet and Greet and Grope” with Marcy! I really need to find the Director so I can deliver her important letter: “this round’s new campers”!
Poll Vote!
Character: Niche
Series: Tegami Bachi
Character Age: 200; appearance: 6? 7?
Canon: Tegami Bachi is set in a world heavily segregated by wealth and class, its inhabitants torn apart by distance and the danger of travel. Separated from their Very Special Someones, the only thing left for characters in this series to do is to pour out their hearts into letters- and entrust them to the Letter Bees, the government employees tasked with the important work of delivering them. By the side of every Letter Bee stands his faithful dingo- protector, fighter, and general companion, animals both well-trained and loyal. And by Letter Bee Lag’s side stands Niche- who doesn’t seem interested in the fact that the job is not usually taken by little girls.
In fact, Niche doesn’t seem much interested in a lot of what passes for polite society. She wears underpants only because Lag gifted her with a pair, speaks her mind without softening her words, and had to be convinced that cutting people up with her bladelike hair is probably not a good idea. She is proud, possessive, and childish, and she has no sense of personal safety. When she’s angry, Niche announces it, and when she’s hungry, she’s likely to cut up and cook whatever happens to be nearby. To Niche, her job is Serious Business- and so is the thought that she might not be doing it as well as she ought to be.
Note: She really does switch from first to third person while speaking.
Sample App:
You! The hairy one! Niche’s name is not “Loli,” and she doesn’t need candy from white vans, either. Niche is too busy for your candy. Niche is doing important dingo things! I’m finding the way to the next delivery! And looking out for danger! And if someone gets hurt, I can lick it so that it gets better soon. Niche has gotten very good at licking- are you listening? Niche is still talking! Of course a dingo is fine, too. A dingo is important!
…your dingo? Be your dingo? Why would Niche be the dingo of an ugly, hairy, purple thing? Niche has only Lag! I won’t be yours, not even if you give me pants! Not even if you have a whole tree of pretty pants! Niche will cut up your pretty pants tree first! I’ll throw it in the lake! I’ll fish it out again! And cut it up more! And bite it! And bury it! Now you’ve done it! Now Niche is mad, and when Niche is mad, she gets hungry. And you don’t even have a tail, hairy thing, so you’d better tell me where to get one- or else Niche is going to have to cut up something else, instead!
The lake monster has lots of tails? Niche is gonna eat five, then. Tails are made of meat- they cook up nice and crispy if you put them in fire. I don’t even need your boat to get out on the lake- especially if it says fail on the side. Niche is good at things like cutting off tails, so there’s no way she’ll fail! And I won’t fail at anything else, either. Don’t you say that! Niche is never gonna be a failure of a dingo ever again. Now Niche is really mad!
That does it! You’re lucky Lag says no hurting people, cause you’d get cut to pieces! Get ready- this is gonna hurt really bad, cutting or no cutting! NOT HURTING PEOPLE CHOP!
Poll Vote!
Character: Hitachiin Hikaru
Series: Ouran High School Host Club
Character Age: 16
Canon: The goal of the Host Club is to pamper and entertain young ladies to bring joy to their lives. With six handsome men (and one girl forced to pretend to be a man), there is something for every taste and fetish a lady visiting the club might have. When it comes to incest and yaoi, the Hitachiin twins are the main attraction. Both are rich, spoiled, and sheltered from the ways of normal society. They're known to be mischievous types, often playing pranks and doing things aggravate others.
Hikaru is the older twin and plays the dominant when up to incestuous hijinx. This twin is completely oblivious not only to the feelings of others but his own feelings as well. Even though he's the older twin, he's often the immature one, losing his temper easily and often falling into bouts of jealousy. Not to mention that he is known to be 10% more evil than his younger sibling.
Sample Post:
We of the Ouran Host Club pride ourselves on true to life experiences. The costumes must reflect reality, the food must be authentic, and the scenery should mirror the true location to exactness. This is the way of the Host Club. And it can blow me, because this place is wretched and foul.
When we wanted to do a Louisiana theme with focus on the Cajuns, this intense research was not mentioned. This place is disgusting. I know commoners live in strange places, but really. It's hot and humid and there are bugs everywhere. Disgusting bugs that would make even the most manly of men scream in terror. Note to self: Invest in American Southern Insects for next Fright Night at school for great success and making people cry.
The object of this investigation, the Cajun, isn't even present! Not even under the bugs or watching the bugs or a Cajun disguised as a bug! I thought we would get to meet Gambit or some facsimile that would properly embody all the stereotypical traits I expect from an American Southern in the bayou! Some manner of toothless man who plods through the swamp in thigh high ugly boots while carrying a rifle while in search of some manner of beast to devour. Or a jolly, round woman baking cornbread while her children frolic in the bayou chasing frogs to eat for dinner! But there is no mangled French language, no shrimping boats, and not even a single incestuous pair of siblings to be seen. This is the South! I was going to research their version of forbidden love. It must be something like...
Golly thar, brother Kaoru. Don't you be runnin' the crab traps by your lonesome. If something were to happen, I'd be in such a state! That's why, dear brother, we should always go together! Whether it's fishing or shuckin' oysters, I'll be at your side! We just mustn't tell Maw or Paw, they'll never understand! Even though I think Maw is Paw's sis. Our affections are just too different to be understood.
And then said romantically involved siblings ride off into the sunset on their sad little boat. Well, they would be paddling because with the price of gas these days they couldn't afford to run the motor. But regardless, behold. The commoner's incest. Not nearly as enticing, but well within the tax bracket of the common man or woman. Just one outfit of mine costs more than their sad little boats, so the locals really will have to make due with the inferior incest until their incomes improve. I'm sure some hard work and folksy crafts would do the trick for that.
For example, constructing fantastic items such as this voodoo doll. Voodoo doll obtained. Operation: Terrorize The Opposition can commence. I guess this trip isn't a total bust. Oh, look. I just happen to have a few strands of a certain someone's hair....
Poll Vote!
Character: Hitachiin Kaoru
Series: Ouran High School Host Club (Manga)
Character Age: 16
Canon:Meet Hitachiin Kaoru, heir to a very high end fashion company along with his identical twin, Hikaru. The two of them were raised to appreciate fashion in all its forms: clothing, costuming, interior design, make-up, and more! It's their future. And when they aren't learning about the industry, taking traditional high school classes, or playing pranks on their friends and classmates, they can be found at the Ouran High School Host Club, founded by Tamaki Suoh for the sake of entertaining rich girls with beautiful men! But true entertainment takes the right hook, and the twins' hook is an act of forbidden brotherly love. Probably an act.
Between the two brothers, Kaoru is the more mature one. Even though he's younger, he's much more emotionally and socially aware and is usually the one to add some restraint to the antics he and his brother enjoy. Some, at least. He still gets a kick out of teasing and taunting Tamaki and the other club member and anyone they can get their hands on, really. Although he is nicer than his brother, particularly when dealing with women or when he's alone, he still has a habit of being blunt and a little demanding when dealing with people. He's also very oblivious to the ways of every day people (read: people who aren't sickeningly rich) and refers to them as commoners, flip-flopping between being impressed at their ingenuity or just plain Not Getting It.
Sample Post:
What a . . . quaint commoner's camp! It's a good attempt at an imitation of the resorts we're used to, but you have to admit it falls short. The lake is a nice touch, for example, but the colors are completely wrong. I know plaid's an acceptable color in the world of fashion, but it should never be seen in nature. You must tell us how they did it, though. It could be useful for a joke. Oh yes, speaking of the lake, I noticed someone actually bathing in it before! The management should issue a notice that lakes are never a suitable replacement for a proper bath. I realize there are commoners too poor to afford one, but that is why they've provided public baths! No one should bathe in something that fish and who knows what else live their lives in. You could mutate.
But at least if you mutated you won't look so ridiculous in those day-glo polka dots. Did you lose a bet? . . . You-you actually think it looks good?! Who would tell you such a lie? Day-glo has never been good fashion! And it clashes horribly with your grey complexion! Someone with your skin tone should be wearing browns or vibrant blues. Maybe a splash of red to accentuate your eyes-er. Eye. Did you lose it to some terrible lake beast?
D-don't cry! Milady, I didn't mean to bring up bad memories for you. Look, if you arrange your bangs to hide it like this no one will be able to tell. This style really suits the straightness of your hair too. It gives you a mysterious, haunting look. You'll fit right in with all the other zombies and ghouls. . . . Hm. I shouldn't stop with just the hairstyle. You need wardrobe advice as well.
I've decided! Since you're such a sad case, I'll take you on as a charity project. By this time tomorrow you'll have a brand new outfit hand-tailored by a famous Hitachiin. It's only right to give back to the needy common folk, and you're needier than any I've ever met. We'll have to start with the make-up since completing an outfit will take time, but don't think it's a small detail! Getting the right make-up is one of the most important parts. I can dress you up and fix your hair, but the whole look will fall apart if that's wrong. You like that sickly look you've got, don't you? I can work with that. Some black eye-liner and . . . hm. Do you prefer the Yellowing Bruise or Diseased Green for your blush? You're right, I like the yellow shade of blush too.
Now for the finishing touch! Some pale blue for that just rolled out of the grave look-don't nip! You'll have plenty of fools to sink your teeth into when I've finished with you.
Poll Vote!
Name: Yukiko Amagi
Series: Persona 4
Age: 17
Canon: Ah, peaceful Inaba: a small rural town whose only points of interest are the new department store, grilled steak, the weather, and rumors of a strange television program you can only watch at midnight on a rainy night-aptly called "The Midnight Channel". However, it quickly becomes obvious that video killed more than just the radio star, as the people who show up on the Midnight Channel soon turn up missing... or dead. As per usual, this series of unfortunate events can only be solved by a group of nosy teenagers and their issues, up against a mysterious mystery and world-threatening odds... but only by tuning in to their inner selves can they channel the strength of character needed to weather the storm.
Yukiko Amagi has lived her entire life in Inaba, and is next in line to manage its historical spa, the Amagi Inn-despite being a rather poor fit for the job, since she isn't terribly outgoing and she can't cook. While at first she appears to be the polite daughter of a traditional family, her true self is a lot more feisty. Once she's faced her own fears, she turns out to be a responsible, strong-willed young woman who's not afraid to resort to thinly-veiled threats or even violence when pushed. Most of the time she's even-tempered, and thinks about her words-often repeating information back to herself as she tries to puzzle things out-but her composure can dissolve into stammery, enthusiastic overcompensation when she feels out of her depth. She also possesses quite an unpredictable sense of humor-whether a terrible pun will irritate her, leave her incapacitated with laughter or merely rolling her eyes is anyone's guess.
Sample Entry:
Please, don't misunderstand, I'm certainly very honored by your offer to make the, um, "Cultural Freedom Upperclass Dayspa" of Louisiana the "sister-resort" to my family's inn. Having a sister-inn here in America might really help make it more popular, but...I-I don't think you're really our kind of establishment. I mean, a horror-movie theme is strange enough, but giving people directions full of useless things like "over the river and through the woods"-is that supposed to be a joke? Weird publicity is better than no publicity, I guess... but I don't think you should make it too difficult for people; you'll give yourself a reputation and scare them away. You should be proud of your resort, and not have to resort to cheap gags to win people over.
Although... it doesn't look like you're having much trouble with guests at the moment. April isn't usually a popular month for tourism. Is this time of year really that taxing for Americans? Still, you have to think of the rest of the year. People aren't going to be encouraged to relax if you have a brochure full of things like, "Come experience our open-air baths, perfect for spa-ing on people" or "Authentically rustic cabins-not-too-near-the-lake-so-stop-whining". It's more likely that they'd be constantly on their guard. Still, I'll try and learn everything I can about your establishment... that's only fair. Maybe you could tell me something unique or-Yes, that's exactly it: something that will help us get a feel for one anoth-wait. "Get a feel for...?" ...Ugh, how dare you! Take this-!!
...Oh. My hand moved without thinking. I'm sorry, I thought you were making some sort of perverted joke. But if that's not what you meant, I'm sure there's no problem... It's not like someone would file an official complaint and try and get your business license taken away over just one tacky joke. Especially because we've been getting along so well. Oh! I know, why don't you teach me how to make the area's specialty dish? Actually, before I came here, I'd been practicing my cooking a lot, and I'm almost making things entirely by myself now! O-Or, well... almost entirely cutting up all the ingredients myself. I'm sure I'll be fine. A soup shouldn't be that difficult. No, really... there's no point if I don't learn to do it myself, but it's nice of you to offer to give me a hand like th-wait. "Give me a hand"...?
-Pfffffffthahahahahaha-I get it! Give me a hand! Because, because, you're dressed as zombies, right? Fffffffhaha...th-that's- that's terrible! Hee...ahahahaaa, haaaa...
...N-No, I'm sorry, I got distracted. I promise I'll really put myself into making this soup! So, for soup...we need a liquid, right? In that case, probably any simple liquid we have on hand will work. Oh... what about the lake water? That's all natural, and you don't get any more "local flavor" than that, am I right? So then... there! If it's boiling, that means it's done, I'm sure. So, please, go right ahead! It's delicious, right?
..."To die for?"
...Sheesh, your sense of humor really is tasteless.
Poll Vote!
Applicant #1
Character: Sakurai Yuuto/Kamen Rider Zeronos
Series: Kamen Rider Den-O
Character Age: ~20
Canon: Kamen Rider Den-O is the story of the unluckiest guy in Tokyo and the brightly-colored monsters (Imagin) who sometimes possess him. Thanks to these Imagins and a train pass, Ryoutarou is able to transform into Kamen Rider Den-O. As Den-O, Ryoutarou can go into the past and prevent the evil Imagins from screwing with time. But this app isn't about him! It's about Sakurai Yuuto. Like Ryoutarou, Yuuto has a train pass and his very own Imagin.
Unfortunately, Yuuto is also in possession of a terrible temper. He taunts people or tells them to shut up and generally refuses to be helpful even towards his own allies. He's very particular about his food; he likes his sugar with just a little coffee and cares not for healthy food. Don't even try to deny him these things--he's quite ready to pretend the wall is more interesting than you or even administer comical abuse. He's cocky to boot; save the occasional variation, his catchphrase is "Let me say this to start, I'm pretty strong!" This attitude serves to protect himself from the fact that he has taken on the duty to protect his family, using powers that come at a terrible price. That's right. Buried very, very deeply within, Yuuto is a guy in way over his head who wants to be loved sometimes will accept hugs.
Sample Post:
You . . . What's the meaning of this?! You were just rolling measuring tape around my waist, so don't stand there looking so clueless now! What have you done to me?! You're really wrong if you think you can kidnap me and I'll just apologize a lot and thank you for the "Camp Fuck Your Diet" pamphlet. Which I looked through, anyway. You'd better give those thirty seconds of my life back--I don't have time to spare for you! And I don't need help for my sugar addiction either! I don't have any addictions! Maybe I've been told not to put anything in the coffee, but only morons would drink it by itself. Besides, this help is a total joke. I don't see how getting a cold and dressing like a turkey does anything. Is it supposed to be funny? I'm not even laughing.
Hey! I'm talking to you! You might have the costume ready, but the way you're grabbing at my clothes is pissing me off. I'm not going to put it on! I never signed up for this, so I'm not an in-patient. Or patient enough to listen to you. Look around! Even I could do a better job than you. Aren't people supposed to come here to eat healthy stuff and get strong? Instead, they're all moaning loudly and looking really grey. If you ask me, they look like they haven't gotten to eat in years. And I bet if I told you I don't have any money, I'll be next in the menu.
Speaking of the menu, you keep shoving that soup at me and saying it's native cuisine. I don't like it when I say I don't want something in my food, and people go and put it in anyway. If I said I'd pass on the eyeballs, I'd have to be really stupid to eat from that bowl when one is looking straight at me. And I'm leaving now, so it doesn't matter to me at all how good this soup will look by Tuesday.
Tch, I don't know why you're insisting so much, but I'm not going to argue anymore. If you want to keep me here, you're going to have to stop me. I have good luck when it comes to fights, and you're not scary. Come at me, I'll beat you so quickly that I'm going to change my phrase for you. So--Let me say this to finish, I'm pretty strong!
Applicant #2
Character: Sakurai Yuuto
Series: Kamen Rider Den-O
Character Age: Exact age hasn’t been revealed in canon, but he appears to be around 19.
Canon: In 2007, a new lifeform came flying from the sky. Or rather, the future. Known to the few who knows about them as Imagin, this lifeform feeds of of people’s wishes and makes contracts with humans in order to fly to their past and destroy it. Just like with any series that deals with time travelling on a regular basis, there’s bound to be someone to screw with both the main characters’ and viewers heads. For Kamen Rider Den-O, Sakura Yuuto is that person. While we have the Sakurai Yuuto from the now, we also have the Yuuto from the past running around in the now and fighting alongside Ryoutarou as Zeronos, as well as going back in time on his train the ZeroLiner.
This younger version of Yuuto is the one we’ve gotten the most familiar with. While admittedly very strong in a fight - as he likes to point out himself now and then - Yuuto is rather helpless on his own otherwise. Luckily enough, his older self has been kind enough to leave him a helper in the form of the imagin Deneb. Around others, Yuuto is abrupt, straight forward and rather rude. Around Deneb, and during his less guarded moments, he also shows his childish self and he has a tendency to snap use violence when he gets angry. Which basically happens when Deneb tries to make friends for him. Or sneaks the ever-hated shiitake-mushrooms into his food.
Sample Post:
Let me say this to start. …Pissed off isn’t a strong enough word. Time trains don’t derail, unless someone completely incompetent suddenly gets the idea that they want to drive for once. I don't even want to know what Deneb was trying to feed me if the fumes alone were enough to make him a drunk driver. It's not like I even need him to cook for me, I can take care of myself just fine! Especially since this place already has free food. If a mess hall in the middle of a swamp even offers anything edible anyway. Not that people would be able to tell if it is, with the smell going to their heads the moment they step out. And the swamp stench is bad enough on its own, but the lake... Someone had better not start suggesting fried squid for dinner.
Where did that idiot go anyway? If he thinks it's okay to get Zeroliner stranded in a swamp and then leave the retrieving part to me, he'd better think again. This is too ridiculous. These kinds of things don’t happen to me, they happen to Nogami. If his bad luck is rubbing off on me, I’m gonna- what are you looking at? If you and your friends have time to stand around there like looking like death itself then … Whatever. If you have that much time on your… That one doesn’t even have hands. …okay, if there is anyone around who doesn’t lack the necessary body parts to help pull my transport out of this mud hold, raise an arm.
…Yes, anyone's arm is fine.
You? No thanks, you're even worse than the rest. You look like you've been run over by a truck and you also look like you've decorated your face with... You have decorated your face with mushrooms. You can’t be serious. Ugh. I’ve always said mushrooms aren’t good for you; this just proves my point. But I guess you’ll do if no one else volunteer. Take this rope here, and I’ll go back to the train and-No, don’t follow me. I’m not letting you onto the train. Deneb might get crazy ideas like using your face decoration in his cooking or invite you to become my friend or whatever. I don't need friends! Especially not dead and rotting ones!
Hey, I said I don't need friends! Stop-Stop touching me! These clothes are new, and they were expensive too! You get any of that gooey stuff on my shirt and I’ll have you pay for the cleaning. Don’t. Touch. Me. I don’t care if its “goodtouching” or whatever you want to call it! No, "badtouching" isn't okay either!
…oh, that’s it. Rip my clothes and I’ll rip something off of you.
Poll Vote!