(no subject)
Sixth round /o/
Remember!
- Applicants, respond anonymously.
- If you're going to do the whole "ask me if I voted you out!" thing, please state who you voted out.
- No speculating about the identity of the applicants!
Now VOTE. Closed!
Character name: Prowl
Series: Transformers: Animated
Age: Unknown
Job: Advisor of the Stealth Arts
Canon: Transformers: Animated is the latest animated series in the infamous toy-pimping franchise. The premise is the same, originating from their home world of Cybertron, the heroic Autobots battle the dastardly Decepticons throughout the galaxy. This time around, our story starts off a bit smaller, focusing instead on a small group of repairmenbots led by a young Autobot named Optimus Prime. When they are attacked by the Decepticon leader Megatron, things go wrong and their ship crashes on Earth in some made-up city called Detroit.
Prowl, initially, was very much a lone wolf. He didn't buy very much into the whole teamwork aspect, preferring instead to do things his own way, but he eventually learns to respect (most of) his fellow teammates, though maintains an independent streak at times. He is easily the most skilled bot in the group, in terms of combat, as he is trained in the art of Circuit-Su and Metallikato (which essentially translates to cool ninja stuff). While on Earth, he grows a soft-spot for nature, taking the time to admire and try to understand the life around him in this strange new world.
Sample Post:
Hmm. I know Earth is different than Cybertron in many ways, but this is about as different and far from home as it gets. The wild, untamed vegetation in this area is incredible, and the creatures here are among the strangest I've ever seen. I'd only been scouting the area for Decepticon activity for a few hours before I was assaulted by what appeared to be a large turtle with shoulder-mounted cannons. Initially I was worried, being taken off-guard by a turtle of all creatures, and only after I disarmed the creature did I realize it was merely firing water at me. Still, you can never be too careful.
As I trekked further, I realized that I had apparently crossed through a burial ground, which had upset what appeared to be a witch doctor. He was shouting in a language that I could not understand, waving his staff around and pointing at me. I tried to break through the language barrier and apologize, but he would have none of it and he took a swing at me with his staff. After I disarmed him that I realized he was merely trying to sell me a plot of land to be buried in.
Then, upon traveling some more, I came across a young human child who appeared to be crying. When I inquired, he confided in me that his fellow peers teased him relentlessly. They called him rude names, and told him that a man named "Michael Jackson" was hiding under his bed, which made him afraid to go into Sleep Mode at night. I was moved by this child's story, and I asked him to show me where these boys were so I could make things right. After I disarmed the children, I gave them a lesson in redirecting one's frustrations, teaching them instead how to meditate. This seemed to mend the tension among the children, as they offered to present the boy with a "swirly" later on in the day.
It was then did I feel the urge to teach more about inner-harmony and the ways of "Processor Over Matter", and maybe even a little bit of stealth combat. So it appears as though fate has led me to this secluded campground, and I believe that I was meant to do this. Such training is especially important in order to survive in extreme conditions like this, as there won't always be someone to help. The only person you can ever truly rely on is yourself, and it's best to be prepared to take matters into your own hands, even when you have assista-
...It appears there is a large reptile with a plant bulb on its back, battling the large turtle I saw earlier. Excuse me for a moment, while I disarm them.
Poll Vote!
Character: Serizawa Naoto
Series: Maou
Character Age: 25
Job: Camp Detective, Investigator and All-Purpose Law Enforcer
Canon: Maou is a modern day Count of Monte Cristo revenge tale: to avenge the death of his brother, whose killer went unpunished, Naruse Ryou designs an intricate, seamless plot to bring every responsible individual to justice. While maintaining his public image as a kind and righteous lawyer, he secretly sets in motion a string of homicide cases, leaving the police with nothing but a trail of cryptic messages and choice tarot cards with which to predict his next move.
Serizawa Naoto is the police detective assigned to the serial homicide case, and, incidentally, Naruse's greatest prize: he was the killer of Naruse's brother 11 years ago. Hooded under the protection of his business tycoon father he became a cop to try to make amends for his past, though some of his ways still betray his high-school thuggishness; Serizawa is brash, tenacious and occasionally prone to mild bouts of violence - in short, a shounen retard. Nonetheless, he is a dedicated cop if not the smartest or most sensible one (he will run all the way to a crime scene if he has to), and remains optimistic that there is innate goodness in every person.
Note: To prevent SPOILTASTIC progressions, Serizawa is taken near the beginning of the series.
Sample post:
Ah, Mister Yargh! You're Mister Yargh right? I've been looking all over for you. I'm detective Serizawa Naoto. I'm here to investigate a possible case of human trafficking and I need to ask you some questions. I understand that your physical condition makes you reluctant to assist me, but-- Mister Yargh, lunging at me and biting me in the arm isn't going to drive me away! I've gone through far more pains than a few teeth marks to get here. I was transferred here all the way from Japan with nothing in the case file except a coded note, then I was manhandled by a few thugs in fur suits, and I even had to negotiate with a whole damn nest of gang members for bits of information I can't begin to piece together.
They told me about an unsolved murder some years back, of the camp director's fiance. What does that have to do with the kidnappings? Sir you have to understand how serious the situation is. Innocent people are being stolen from their homes, and if the mafia's online sources are accurate, they're constantly being exposed to strange viruses, even subjected to cross-gender and cross-species experiments. I don't fully understand all this science business but what I know for sure is that it's unethical, even as punishment for "badtouching", "hitting" or "banging". There is a proper legal penalty to physical assault and turning people into small animals is not the way.
You've been around much longer than most people, Mister Yargh, long enough to have seen your fair share of mistakes that went uncorrected. I know how it's like not being able to fix the past, how you were never the same person again after you got that knife stuck in your neck, but we can make amends for the future! According to the toucans you're the only person with half a brain left to help me. If you'd please just decipher this note... what does "ephanStargh ebusseyDargh ightedsargh earnargh UDFCargh oodswargh" mean? ...I don't think that's right Mister Yargh, this message can't all be the same word. Sir I need you to be serious. Stop it, don't try to fool me with your "brains, brains" mantra, I need answers! What does this note say, and just what is going on in this camp? WHAT DO YOU KNOW!? TELL ME!!
...Oh, oh my god, his head just-- are you okay? I'm so sorry, I mean you're obviously sick but I didn't know you had ligament problems. Here, let me set that on straight for you... can you see alright? I'm really sorry about that. I'm not usually this rough with elderly people. Stupid damn birds threw me in for a loop. Mister Yargh, you're still an important primary source, I need you to come with me to the station. I don't have a car so you'll have to jog. Could you do that without collapsing? The toucans said the station's right by the lake about two miles from here. I really appreciate your help, sir.
Poll Vote!
Character: Marina Ismail
Series: Gundam 00
Character Age: 29
Counselor Job: Music Instructor
Canon: Gundam 00 is that one series with big, giant robots and psychologically disturbed yet rather pretty pilots, fancily named "Gundam Meisters". And, as in many Gundam series, we have an obligatory princess of peace. In this case, we have the most impoverished princess that ever existed: First Princess Marina Ismail of the fragile and struggling Azadistan Monarchy.
Marina is quite the reflection of her country: She's sensitive and cries easily, and she's constantly struggling (and failing) to understand politics. Still, even if she admits that she is pretty much a fail princess, she's determined to do good for Azadistan! Except that Azadistan burns down in an attack as part of the Middle East reformation plan. Despite her homeland burning down, Marina refuses to fight, or even hold a gun, firmly believing that war can only bring pain and sadness. So instead of fighting, Marina shoulders the burden of caring for orphans hurt by the continued conflicts in the world. This peaceful approach is understandable given that she's truly only ever wanted to be a musician. She's the type who believes that people would get along if only they took time to understand each other. Also, if you are incapable of crying? She will shoulder your burden and cry for you. Or sing a song dedicated to you even if you're nowhere around to hear it.
This song is also famous for once stopping someone from killing their sworn enemy. It's that inspiring.
Sample Post:
Oh, hello, young one. Where is your family? Are you possibly lost? Don't be afraid, for I do not desire to cause any harm upon you. I fear that I am uncertain of what I can do, but perhaps, if we both tried our hardest, we may be able to find them. Or ... are you an orphan? I apologize; it was not my intention to upset you. In truth, I have seen many orphans, children losing friends and families because of the harsh cruelties of war. It is a terrible thing. People are always sad, constantly hurting. I ... I ...
Oh! I am sorry, it is simply that I cry, because you can't. So do not mind me, little one! I will be fine as long as I am able to sing with you children, for music is something that has always been close to my heart. You see, dear one, there are many troubled souls in such a conflicted world, and many of their hardships cannot be eased so readily. However, I have found that in music, I am able to touch peoples' hearts, so instead of resorting to violence, to battles that only bring agony, I want everyone to understand each other through the power of song. So you see, dear one, this is why we should not attempt to eat a person's flesh through violence, and instead combine our voices into a singular, heartfelt song. I am sure that if we do this, there will be more music to create, music that will make everyone understand our feelings and unite our hearts as one. That is why I chose to become a Music Instructor, after all: To spread this message of unity to anyone who wishes to listen. So, would you like to help compose a song, little one? Are there any words you have in mind that we can include in its lyrics?
"Brains"? That is a good word. Now, if we can use it in a sentence... If brains are for our deepest thoughts ... Then a heart is for ... understanding. Do you like those lyrics, young one? I do, as well. Now, let us write the remaining lines and then incorporate a melody into it:
If brains are for our deepest thoughts,
Then a heart is for understanding.
After 'I want brains', certainly,
Through sharing, we can eat it.
If many good flesh appeared today,
Then I wish that many delicious flesh appear tomorrow, too,
How are you?
I am full.
How are you?
I am full.
That's good! Now, don't be discouraged if you don't hit the right notes on the first try. You did very well for someone with no ears. Now, do you think we should sing our song to the tentacle creature in the distance? It seems like it wants to understand us, too.
Poll Vote!
Name: Dokugakuji
Series: Saiyuki (manga)
Age: 27
Job: Incest Relations Counselor
Canon:In a land named Shangri-La far, far away, humans and yokai (or demons) lived side by side in something like harmony, until the lady of Lord Gyuumaoh decided to bring back her lover by unleashing the unholy union of science and magic called the Minus Wave. The Wave cast chaos over the land in both human and yokai circles alike as most of the yokai went berserk. Of course, then a plucky band of heroes had to set out to the West to stop the source of the dread Wave and have a series of both comic and tragic misadventures with the (occasionally too-friendly) villains and plenty epic battles along the way, but this isn't about any of those heroes.
Not so long ago, a yokai boy named Jien lived with his increasingly insane mother and his little half-yokai brother Gojyo. Jien did anything he could to keep his mother calm, but despite his efforts, she eventually went berserk and Jien chose to save Gojyo instead of his mother, running away afterwords because he couldn't stand staying where he had both killed and screwed his mother. Freud, eat your heart out. Two years of wandering later, Jien met Kougaiji, son of Gyuumaoh. Stricken by his apparent resemblance to Gojyo, Jien swore on the spot to become his man, and took the name Dokugakuji. He's made his peace with his past, and is now fiercely devoted to his lord, as he cares for him with a combination of determination, cheer, hair-ruffling and teasing him with the familiarity of equals as suits his casual nature, as well as defending his lord from his enemies with his sword and his heart.
Permission to mention a certain mad, meddling priest was approved by the player.
Sample App:
Look, I don't care if you're a big strong purple gorilla thing or whatever you are with your dammed orders and little notes! Addendum, whatever! Giving me some weird job the minute I walk past you and a pile of paperwork or ten to go with it isn't going to cut it. I don't see what my age has to do with anything, either. And lastly, I'm not some scholar or secretary, I'm a swordsman. If I wanted be one of those, I would have done that instead! I don't know where to begin with all of these forms! I ain't impressed with your threats, either. A little politeness would go a long way here if you really want it done that bad. It's gonna be kind of hard to be doing this paperwork stuff without a pen, too, smart guy. You have a pen for me? Of course you just "forgot". Hand it over an' lets see what we got here so we can get this over with, since you seem to be so cracked in the head as to insist.
Hey! What sorts of questions are these? I don't see the point of telling you all this stuff about my mother. An' asking what to do "if she's a demon in the sack"-now that's just not right. What sort of weirdo thinks about their parents in that way? If you need advice on that sort of, um, feelings, I'm really not the guy to be asking. Y'should be talking to a priest or someone else if you really want proper help. Prior experience was part of the what description? How the hell did you know that? Recommendation by a Mr. Jienyi? That son of a bitch.
...Buddy, I heard that. A chuckle? You trying to say something about my mother? You'd better watch yourself there, just because you're big, purple and hairy, doesn't mean I'm just gonna let that slide. That's another one of those things you just don't do to a guy. You might as well take these forms before I start taking the phrase cut through red tape literal. And then y...what? I can see you're upset, but the scribbling thing with the crying is a little hard to fol-uuuurrrk.
Yeah, I can see you needed to get something off your chest. I need you to calm down an' hold the paper still and not wave it around if you want me to read your note there. Endangered species, you an' your sister the last of your kind, forced to continue the race or die, can only get work here as a helper to the job placement guy or be hunted down for your fur? That's gotta be tough on ya both. First day on the job? I guess you're doing pretty good, all things considered... An' I'm glad you felt comfortable enough to want a hug, so glad we bonded, an' all that, but next time if you could ask first, that would be swell, buddy. You almost gave me a heart attack there, so a little warning would be real good too. Now if you can' let go so I can breathe a little, I guess you can tell me all about it, since you think it's really my job and all.
Oh, and you wouldn't happen to have a spare shirt lying around? No? Figures. Next time, get a handkerchief or something else to cry on besides my shirt, wouldya?
Poll Vote!
Character name: Dr. Walter Bishop
Series: Fringe
Age: 50-ish
Job: Fringe Scientist Emeritus
Canon: Ah, the field of fringe science. What better place is there to learn about the wonders of psychic powers and mysterious occurrences? Of course, it’s not exactly the safest place to learn about all of the weird stuff in the world: you might meet a man who can randomly transform into a man-bear-pig, but you’re just as likely to get infected by a disease that makes your head explode. But somebody has to investigate these cases and keep the general public safe, right? Well, that’s the basic plot of Fringe: a team of scientists set out each week to investigate the unknown and contain it before it becomes a threat to humanity.
The oldest member of this team happens to be one Dr. Walter Bishop. He’s a bit…well, strange. He spent 17 years in a mental hospital, and he was only let out because the FBI needed his help (though, admittedly, his reputation as a skilled fringe scientist helped). But because he was locked up for so long Walter is a bit out-of-touch with modern technology. He constantly refers to things from the early 90s as ‘current’ while at the same time being amazed by things from cell-phones to high-speed computers. He is extremely intelligent, though, and he manages to work his way through any problems he might have with ‘newfangled equipment’. But he is also very disjointed, most likely a result of being locked up with insane people for so long. His thoughts can seem very disjointed, and a lot of times what he says makes no sense. He also has trouble with censoring himself, and he ends up being terribly blunt and a bit on the perverted side from time to time. But what’s most important for him is his almost child-like interest in the field of fringe science. He is amazed by what he finds, and he is more than happy to do all sorts of experiments on new specimens. While he does show some restraint about experimenting on humans (meaning that he asks first), he will gleefully do experiments on the non-human or the dead. He also has this bad habit of not being completely honest when disclosing the side-effects of whatever experiment he’s doing, which has gotten him in trouble more than once.
Sample Entry: Yes, yes, I know you want to be released from your cage, but we need to continue on with the experiment. Now the last batch of this revival serum had some rather unpleasant side-effects, but I have tinkered with the formula to the point where it should be stable. I assure you, you won’t turn into a pile of goo like your friend there. Probably. But it’s all in the name of science, so it is most definitely worth it. If this serum works on you, my friend, then imagine the possibilities! We could revive anyone who has died: presidents, great scientists, and even some of those lovely actresses! But I’m getting a bit ahead of myself, aren’t I? Let’s focus on what’s happening here.
Now there is the chance of a few side-effects in the reviving process. No, no, they’re nothing to be concerned about. They’re just minor inconveniences. And really, I don’t think you could call the pair of supple breasts that grew on patient number six a ‘side-effect’, as it was impossible to tell if it was a man or a woman to begin with. Really, it would have been more helpful if they had written a gender instead of “It’s a trap” on their pre-operation sheet. I should like to think she was a woman, though, because she came out very attractive. Why, in my day, a young woman like that wouldn’t have been able to walk down the street without a hoard of men making catcalls and… Well! Let’s not go there for now.
Where was I… Oh yes, the procedures. I would offer some morphine, but I don’t think that would help you too much. If you can have your arm ripped off without a complaint then I’m sure you won’t mind any of this. It will be a series of three injections, and it should take roughly thirty seconds, or about as long as it takes for the operating system of a highly-advanced biomedical device known as- ah, you’re having trouble following me, aren’t you? No matter. Once we get a fully-functional brain inside that head of yours, you should be able to follow me just fine. Now, my watch was previously destroyed by the local Gorilla beringei forma purpurea, but that is nothing to worry about. While it may not be as accurate as a watch, this egg timer should do just fine. The outside appearance might be a bit more…baking-oriented, but the mechanisms inside are basically the same, so it will be all right. Let us begin. Three…two…one…
…oh dear. That one left quite a mess. But what a fascinating result! I had no idea that a zombie’s body could expand at such a rate! Unfortunately, that means this batch was a waste. Oh well, I’ll just write off specimen number nineteen and return to the more successful ones for further testing. Specimen ten actually did very well, if you discount the tentacles it suddenly sprouted, and number six would have done better if it weren’t so afraid of specimen number seven. But seven ate nine, so I suppose it is to be expected. We’ll just use number ten’s formula. Perhaps some music to set the mood would help me to concentrate on the complex formulas involved.
I do appreciate your efforts to provide music, but your constant slurring of the words ‘bring me to life’ isn’t quite what I had in mind. If you’re looking for some ‘popular’ music, might I suggest something by that new band, the Dixie Chicks?
Poll Vote!
Character Name: Kim Jin-Hyuk
Series: Antique Bakery (Korean movie)
Character Age: 30
Job: Cake Pimp
Canon: Once upon a time, there was a dysfunctional but lovable group of four handsome men in a bakery called Antique. One's a demonic charmer, one's a grouchy old man, one's a total klutz, and the last one, a hotheaded youngster. Together, they run the bakery more efficiently than you would expect out of such clashing personalities. While we can all gather together to guess which man is gay, this app is talking about the one who firmly believes he's straight so don't any man be touching him.
Owner of Antique Bakery, Jin-Hyuk is a grumpy man with a fuse shorter than the dinky moustache on his face. Anger him and he will curse, hit you with the closest object, or throw flour in your face. But beneath the tsun exterior is a traumatized boy who loves and yearns to be loved. An incident that happened twenty years ago caused him to fear any man's touch, even his own father's, so a simple action like hugging can send him into hysterics. Though Jin-Hyuk is brusque, direct to the point of being an ass, and has a major potty-mouth in private, he can switch into a charming host in front of customers, as any professional businessman should. He's a lot more motivated too, if the customer happens to be a woman.
Sample entry:
Hey, you! Yeah, you, with the face like a dead rat. C'mere. You're one of those residents Miss Sayre mentioned, right? Thought so; you've got the same stench as the rest of this putrid crap. Listen, you idiots aren't doing your job of cleaning up around here. You know what I think about this place? ... you don't care? Well screw you, you're going to hear it anyway. This camp is a cesspool of the world's most revolting life forms. Look at those giant purple monkeys shuffling around in the woods! And I definitely saw a huge tentacle break the surface of that weird expanse of glowy water you call a lake. Why the hell is my shop even set next to that stupid lake? At this rate, customers will be too afraid to drop by, and even if they do drop by, those monkeys will drive them away. So, tell me smartass, how exactly am I supposed to run a respectable cake shop in a place like this?
What? Circumstances are out of your control? Okay then, Mister Useless, here's an easy one for you: do something about my name tag. I am not a "Cake Pimp". I came here to open a US branch of Antique, because the lovely Miss Sayre wanted a cake shop and a "businessman familiar with the running of bakeries". Kinda long for a title, sure, but I could've settled with "Antique Owner". Or even, "Cake Connoisseur". But "Cake Pimp"? You're just asking for a punch in the face. If I'm going to pimp something, I'd prefer to have it dance round a pole and wear garters over legs that run forever. ... heh, garters...
... oi, what are you laughing at, rat-face? I have a what? Don't try and change the topi-- Oh, a customer! And such a beautiful lady too. If I may say, you have most shapely arms. Bit on the ah, decaying side, but very slender nonetheless. Welcome, my dear, to Camp F'You D's Antique Bakery. Just a bit of censoring so your delicate ears won't melt off with those filthy words, hahaha! Shut up, rat-face. What would you care for today? Creme brulee, perhaps? Or our newest creation, a raspberry mont blanc? The sweetness of the meringue base contrasts wonderfully with the sour aftertaste of the raspberries. Hm? A discount? Give me a kiss, and you'll have it. Shut up, rat-face. ... on the cheek, hoho, how shy! That will be five dollars for a raspberry mont blanc, with a discount of a doll-- whoops, just lost a finger in the pastry, huh! No worries, it shouldn't change the flavour too much. Just remember to fish it out before you start eating. Thank you, please come again!
...--the frick was wrong with that woman!? Her finger fell off. Ughh, I?m scrubbing my face raw tonight. Another thing, asshole, if you open that mouth to laugh while I'm entertaining a customer again, I will hit you so hard with this bag of flour you'll be swallowing your remaining teeth. A lady should always be treated like a lady, dead or alive or... stuck in that disgusting stage where the gangrine makes her fingers drop off. That's not the joke? What the hell is the joke, then? No, I didn't see the tent in her pants. What sort of gentleman would check out a lady's... wait, a lady wouldn't even have...
...
Holy shit I hate this fucking camp.
Poll Vote!
Character name: Todd
Series: Stargate Atlantis
Age: Over 10,000 years old, but by human standards appears to be in his thirties.
Job: Alien/Human Intermediary
Canon: In Stargate Atlantis, interstellar wormhole travel is the norm, vampires are aliens, and Merlin the wizard was actually from a race of technologically advanced humans called the Ancients, who built the stargates - shiny stone circles that let people instantly zip from one planet to another, as well as the lost city of Atlantis in a distant part of the universe. Several thousand years ago, the Ancients colonized many planets in the Pegasus Galaxy; unknown to them, however, some of these worlds were infested with a species of insects called Iratus bugs, which fed on the humans who colonized their planet, and over time took on many human characteristics such as larger brain mass, opposable fingers, and the ability to walk upright. These new beings were called Wraith: a tenacious, vampiric, hive-based species that gain nourishment by sucking the life-force out of humans through vagina-esque slit-shaped suckers on their right palms. This reduces the body of their victim to a dried-up husk that appears to have been aged severely. They eventually defeated the Ancients and drove them from the Pegasus Galaxy, allowing the Wraith to have control over it for the next ten-thousand years, until they were woken early from their hibernation cycle by the Atlantis Expedition: a team of soldiers and scientists from Earth who came to study the ruins of Atlantis, and wound up getting sucked into (no pun intended) the struggle between the Pegasus humans and Wraith, leading to many a confrontation.
Todd is a Wraith who was imprisoned for many years by a militaristic society called the Genii, who used him as a method of torture by starving him and forcing him to feed on prisoners. This went on until the Genii captured Colonel John Sheppard, the military ranking officer of the Atlantis Expedition, and forced Todd to drain him repeatedly for small periods of time. Eventually, Sheppard and Todd were able to escape, leading to a fragile alliance with Todd's hive and the humans of Atlantis whenever both parties found it to be mutually beneficial. Todd himself is quite unusual for a Wraith, as he possesses a sense of humor, honor, loyalty and some appreciation for beauty and freedom. While "Todd" isn't his true name, it was given to him by Sheppard as Wraith never disclose their true names to humans, or even admit to having one or not. Todd can also be manipulative, and when enlisting the help of others, he often fails to tell the whole story if he thinks it will harm his chances of getting what he needs from them. He’s neither a complete hero nor a certain villain, and can be very unpredictable, which only contributes to his awesome. He speaks with a formal and occasionally condescending and sarcastic tone, rarely using contractions in sentences.
Sample Entry:
Ladies, gentlemen, and beings of... unspecified gender, I believe it is customary to introduce oneself in this place, and this seemed as good of a time as any, if you will allow me to do so. It seems that I am to be the resident liaison between the humans of this camp and those foreign beings who are of... other races. While names are of little importance to my people, I do realize that many of you have the need to call others by titles, and somehow I doubt that in this place "Commander" will suffice. The human I am the most acquainted with from this world named me "Todd," so I suppose that will be acceptable in this case. Now, if you are a non-human being, I realize that it can be difficult to live with humans if your culture is different from theirs, and that these humans can be unpredictable at best, but there is no reason that we should be at odds here. With the resurrection system in place, there is, likewise, no reason that I should have to take a human life permanently. All living things must eat in some manner, you see; and I have heard tell of people who require sustenance from living beings in some way or another, and that there have been willing participants. The truth is, I will have to feed eventually, and there are some things you may find pleasurable, if you ever considered them. Ah, but going on about my eating problem grows old, and I am venturing off topic...
Elizabeth Sayre has made it clear to me that the payoff of meeting her conditions could be delicious in terms of improved quality of life; not that I believe she will meet her end of the bargain in allowing me to go free once my work here is concluded, especially if the Earthian military has anything to say about it... but I think that an evaluation period in such an intriguing place, as an ambassador of my people, is better than being executed to "get me out of the way," but that is another story. I can't help but find many of the beings native to the area to be interesting, as I'm sure many of you do as well. The telepathic birds being a prime example; they greeted me almost immediately upon my arrival. Moments later, several of them began circling me and eventually dropped a package in my path, which contained an object that was rather... phallic in shape. After which I had to assure them that my feeding maw was not a reproductive organ of any kind, and despite the indications on the box, I knew that I would not be able to fit the item into any of my bodily cavities. I then apologized for possibly offending any of their customs, a thoughtful gesture for which I was rewarded with a blaring telepathic melody that went on for several minutes, accompanied by a rhyme about never giving me up... a threat which I found a little foreboding at the time, given the circumstances. Since that attack, however, they have left me alone, but at least now I know what I can expect from them.
As for the resident humans, I do hope that my current... well, dietary requirements aren't enough to worry you, or keep you from seeking my counsel. A major portion of my time here will be spent working on my research into a gene therapy to rectify this minor inconvenience; but in the meantime, I assure you that I have plenty of self-control... not to mention taste, and I encourage you to come to me with any concerns you may have on the matter, rather than taking it upon yourselves to "redecorate" the area outside my dwelling in the night with your undergarments again. I think it's safe to assume that this was a prank rather than someone's idea of a welcome, as unsanitary and strange as it may be. If any of the items belong to you, you can recover them from the boxes stacked behind my cabin before I have them incinerated. On a related note, there will be a bonfire this evening, and anyone is welcome to come and sit by it and cook food on sticks as some of you like to do, as long as you do not mind any fumes the aforementioned items may give off.
I look forward to working with you all in the near future.
Poll Vote!
Remember!
- Applicants, respond anonymously.
- If you're going to do the whole "ask me if I voted you out!" thing, please state who you voted out.
- No speculating about the identity of the applicants!
Now VOTE. Closed!
Character name: Prowl
Series: Transformers: Animated
Age: Unknown
Job: Advisor of the Stealth Arts
Canon: Transformers: Animated is the latest animated series in the infamous toy-pimping franchise. The premise is the same, originating from their home world of Cybertron, the heroic Autobots battle the dastardly Decepticons throughout the galaxy. This time around, our story starts off a bit smaller, focusing instead on a small group of repairmenbots led by a young Autobot named Optimus Prime. When they are attacked by the Decepticon leader Megatron, things go wrong and their ship crashes on Earth in some made-up city called Detroit.
Prowl, initially, was very much a lone wolf. He didn't buy very much into the whole teamwork aspect, preferring instead to do things his own way, but he eventually learns to respect (most of) his fellow teammates, though maintains an independent streak at times. He is easily the most skilled bot in the group, in terms of combat, as he is trained in the art of Circuit-Su and Metallikato (which essentially translates to cool ninja stuff). While on Earth, he grows a soft-spot for nature, taking the time to admire and try to understand the life around him in this strange new world.
Sample Post:
Hmm. I know Earth is different than Cybertron in many ways, but this is about as different and far from home as it gets. The wild, untamed vegetation in this area is incredible, and the creatures here are among the strangest I've ever seen. I'd only been scouting the area for Decepticon activity for a few hours before I was assaulted by what appeared to be a large turtle with shoulder-mounted cannons. Initially I was worried, being taken off-guard by a turtle of all creatures, and only after I disarmed the creature did I realize it was merely firing water at me. Still, you can never be too careful.
As I trekked further, I realized that I had apparently crossed through a burial ground, which had upset what appeared to be a witch doctor. He was shouting in a language that I could not understand, waving his staff around and pointing at me. I tried to break through the language barrier and apologize, but he would have none of it and he took a swing at me with his staff. After I disarmed him that I realized he was merely trying to sell me a plot of land to be buried in.
Then, upon traveling some more, I came across a young human child who appeared to be crying. When I inquired, he confided in me that his fellow peers teased him relentlessly. They called him rude names, and told him that a man named "Michael Jackson" was hiding under his bed, which made him afraid to go into Sleep Mode at night. I was moved by this child's story, and I asked him to show me where these boys were so I could make things right. After I disarmed the children, I gave them a lesson in redirecting one's frustrations, teaching them instead how to meditate. This seemed to mend the tension among the children, as they offered to present the boy with a "swirly" later on in the day.
It was then did I feel the urge to teach more about inner-harmony and the ways of "Processor Over Matter", and maybe even a little bit of stealth combat. So it appears as though fate has led me to this secluded campground, and I believe that I was meant to do this. Such training is especially important in order to survive in extreme conditions like this, as there won't always be someone to help. The only person you can ever truly rely on is yourself, and it's best to be prepared to take matters into your own hands, even when you have assista-
...It appears there is a large reptile with a plant bulb on its back, battling the large turtle I saw earlier. Excuse me for a moment, while I disarm them.
Poll Vote!
Character: Serizawa Naoto
Series: Maou
Character Age: 25
Job: Camp Detective, Investigator and All-Purpose Law Enforcer
Canon: Maou is a modern day Count of Monte Cristo revenge tale: to avenge the death of his brother, whose killer went unpunished, Naruse Ryou designs an intricate, seamless plot to bring every responsible individual to justice. While maintaining his public image as a kind and righteous lawyer, he secretly sets in motion a string of homicide cases, leaving the police with nothing but a trail of cryptic messages and choice tarot cards with which to predict his next move.
Serizawa Naoto is the police detective assigned to the serial homicide case, and, incidentally, Naruse's greatest prize: he was the killer of Naruse's brother 11 years ago. Hooded under the protection of his business tycoon father he became a cop to try to make amends for his past, though some of his ways still betray his high-school thuggishness; Serizawa is brash, tenacious and occasionally prone to mild bouts of violence - in short, a shounen retard. Nonetheless, he is a dedicated cop if not the smartest or most sensible one (he will run all the way to a crime scene if he has to), and remains optimistic that there is innate goodness in every person.
Note: To prevent SPOILTASTIC progressions, Serizawa is taken near the beginning of the series.
Sample post:
Ah, Mister Yargh! You're Mister Yargh right? I've been looking all over for you. I'm detective Serizawa Naoto. I'm here to investigate a possible case of human trafficking and I need to ask you some questions. I understand that your physical condition makes you reluctant to assist me, but-- Mister Yargh, lunging at me and biting me in the arm isn't going to drive me away! I've gone through far more pains than a few teeth marks to get here. I was transferred here all the way from Japan with nothing in the case file except a coded note, then I was manhandled by a few thugs in fur suits, and I even had to negotiate with a whole damn nest of gang members for bits of information I can't begin to piece together.
They told me about an unsolved murder some years back, of the camp director's fiance. What does that have to do with the kidnappings? Sir you have to understand how serious the situation is. Innocent people are being stolen from their homes, and if the mafia's online sources are accurate, they're constantly being exposed to strange viruses, even subjected to cross-gender and cross-species experiments. I don't fully understand all this science business but what I know for sure is that it's unethical, even as punishment for "badtouching", "hitting" or "banging". There is a proper legal penalty to physical assault and turning people into small animals is not the way.
You've been around much longer than most people, Mister Yargh, long enough to have seen your fair share of mistakes that went uncorrected. I know how it's like not being able to fix the past, how you were never the same person again after you got that knife stuck in your neck, but we can make amends for the future! According to the toucans you're the only person with half a brain left to help me. If you'd please just decipher this note... what does "ephanStargh ebusseyDargh ightedsargh earnargh UDFCargh oodswargh" mean? ...I don't think that's right Mister Yargh, this message can't all be the same word. Sir I need you to be serious. Stop it, don't try to fool me with your "brains, brains" mantra, I need answers! What does this note say, and just what is going on in this camp? WHAT DO YOU KNOW!? TELL ME!!
...Oh, oh my god, his head just-- are you okay? I'm so sorry, I mean you're obviously sick but I didn't know you had ligament problems. Here, let me set that on straight for you... can you see alright? I'm really sorry about that. I'm not usually this rough with elderly people. Stupid damn birds threw me in for a loop. Mister Yargh, you're still an important primary source, I need you to come with me to the station. I don't have a car so you'll have to jog. Could you do that without collapsing? The toucans said the station's right by the lake about two miles from here. I really appreciate your help, sir.
Poll Vote!
Character: Marina Ismail
Series: Gundam 00
Character Age: 29
Counselor Job: Music Instructor
Canon: Gundam 00 is that one series with big, giant robots and psychologically disturbed yet rather pretty pilots, fancily named "Gundam Meisters". And, as in many Gundam series, we have an obligatory princess of peace. In this case, we have the most impoverished princess that ever existed: First Princess Marina Ismail of the fragile and struggling Azadistan Monarchy.
Marina is quite the reflection of her country: She's sensitive and cries easily, and she's constantly struggling (and failing) to understand politics. Still, even if she admits that she is pretty much a fail princess, she's determined to do good for Azadistan! Except that Azadistan burns down in an attack as part of the Middle East reformation plan. Despite her homeland burning down, Marina refuses to fight, or even hold a gun, firmly believing that war can only bring pain and sadness. So instead of fighting, Marina shoulders the burden of caring for orphans hurt by the continued conflicts in the world. This peaceful approach is understandable given that she's truly only ever wanted to be a musician. She's the type who believes that people would get along if only they took time to understand each other. Also, if you are incapable of crying? She will shoulder your burden and cry for you. Or sing a song dedicated to you even if you're nowhere around to hear it.
This song is also famous for once stopping someone from killing their sworn enemy. It's that inspiring.
Sample Post:
Oh, hello, young one. Where is your family? Are you possibly lost? Don't be afraid, for I do not desire to cause any harm upon you. I fear that I am uncertain of what I can do, but perhaps, if we both tried our hardest, we may be able to find them. Or ... are you an orphan? I apologize; it was not my intention to upset you. In truth, I have seen many orphans, children losing friends and families because of the harsh cruelties of war. It is a terrible thing. People are always sad, constantly hurting. I ... I ...
Oh! I am sorry, it is simply that I cry, because you can't. So do not mind me, little one! I will be fine as long as I am able to sing with you children, for music is something that has always been close to my heart. You see, dear one, there are many troubled souls in such a conflicted world, and many of their hardships cannot be eased so readily. However, I have found that in music, I am able to touch peoples' hearts, so instead of resorting to violence, to battles that only bring agony, I want everyone to understand each other through the power of song. So you see, dear one, this is why we should not attempt to eat a person's flesh through violence, and instead combine our voices into a singular, heartfelt song. I am sure that if we do this, there will be more music to create, music that will make everyone understand our feelings and unite our hearts as one. That is why I chose to become a Music Instructor, after all: To spread this message of unity to anyone who wishes to listen. So, would you like to help compose a song, little one? Are there any words you have in mind that we can include in its lyrics?
"Brains"? That is a good word. Now, if we can use it in a sentence... If brains are for our deepest thoughts ... Then a heart is for ... understanding. Do you like those lyrics, young one? I do, as well. Now, let us write the remaining lines and then incorporate a melody into it:
If brains are for our deepest thoughts,
Then a heart is for understanding.
After 'I want brains', certainly,
Through sharing, we can eat it.
If many good flesh appeared today,
Then I wish that many delicious flesh appear tomorrow, too,
How are you?
I am full.
How are you?
I am full.
That's good! Now, don't be discouraged if you don't hit the right notes on the first try. You did very well for someone with no ears. Now, do you think we should sing our song to the tentacle creature in the distance? It seems like it wants to understand us, too.
Poll Vote!
Name: Dokugakuji
Series: Saiyuki (manga)
Age: 27
Job: Incest Relations Counselor
Canon:In a land named Shangri-La far, far away, humans and yokai (or demons) lived side by side in something like harmony, until the lady of Lord Gyuumaoh decided to bring back her lover by unleashing the unholy union of science and magic called the Minus Wave. The Wave cast chaos over the land in both human and yokai circles alike as most of the yokai went berserk. Of course, then a plucky band of heroes had to set out to the West to stop the source of the dread Wave and have a series of both comic and tragic misadventures with the (occasionally too-friendly) villains and plenty epic battles along the way, but this isn't about any of those heroes.
Not so long ago, a yokai boy named Jien lived with his increasingly insane mother and his little half-yokai brother Gojyo. Jien did anything he could to keep his mother calm, but despite his efforts, she eventually went berserk and Jien chose to save Gojyo instead of his mother, running away afterwords because he couldn't stand staying where he had both killed and screwed his mother. Freud, eat your heart out. Two years of wandering later, Jien met Kougaiji, son of Gyuumaoh. Stricken by his apparent resemblance to Gojyo, Jien swore on the spot to become his man, and took the name Dokugakuji. He's made his peace with his past, and is now fiercely devoted to his lord, as he cares for him with a combination of determination, cheer, hair-ruffling and teasing him with the familiarity of equals as suits his casual nature, as well as defending his lord from his enemies with his sword and his heart.
Permission to mention a certain mad, meddling priest was approved by the player.
Sample App:
Look, I don't care if you're a big strong purple gorilla thing or whatever you are with your dammed orders and little notes! Addendum, whatever! Giving me some weird job the minute I walk past you and a pile of paperwork or ten to go with it isn't going to cut it. I don't see what my age has to do with anything, either. And lastly, I'm not some scholar or secretary, I'm a swordsman. If I wanted be one of those, I would have done that instead! I don't know where to begin with all of these forms! I ain't impressed with your threats, either. A little politeness would go a long way here if you really want it done that bad. It's gonna be kind of hard to be doing this paperwork stuff without a pen, too, smart guy. You have a pen for me? Of course you just "forgot". Hand it over an' lets see what we got here so we can get this over with, since you seem to be so cracked in the head as to insist.
Hey! What sorts of questions are these? I don't see the point of telling you all this stuff about my mother. An' asking what to do "if she's a demon in the sack"-now that's just not right. What sort of weirdo thinks about their parents in that way? If you need advice on that sort of, um, feelings, I'm really not the guy to be asking. Y'should be talking to a priest or someone else if you really want proper help. Prior experience was part of the what description? How the hell did you know that? Recommendation by a Mr. Jienyi? That son of a bitch.
...Buddy, I heard that. A chuckle? You trying to say something about my mother? You'd better watch yourself there, just because you're big, purple and hairy, doesn't mean I'm just gonna let that slide. That's another one of those things you just don't do to a guy. You might as well take these forms before I start taking the phrase cut through red tape literal. And then y...what? I can see you're upset, but the scribbling thing with the crying is a little hard to fol-uuuurrrk.
Yeah, I can see you needed to get something off your chest. I need you to calm down an' hold the paper still and not wave it around if you want me to read your note there. Endangered species, you an' your sister the last of your kind, forced to continue the race or die, can only get work here as a helper to the job placement guy or be hunted down for your fur? That's gotta be tough on ya both. First day on the job? I guess you're doing pretty good, all things considered... An' I'm glad you felt comfortable enough to want a hug, so glad we bonded, an' all that, but next time if you could ask first, that would be swell, buddy. You almost gave me a heart attack there, so a little warning would be real good too. Now if you can' let go so I can breathe a little, I guess you can tell me all about it, since you think it's really my job and all.
Oh, and you wouldn't happen to have a spare shirt lying around? No? Figures. Next time, get a handkerchief or something else to cry on besides my shirt, wouldya?
Poll Vote!
Character name: Dr. Walter Bishop
Series: Fringe
Age: 50-ish
Job: Fringe Scientist Emeritus
Canon: Ah, the field of fringe science. What better place is there to learn about the wonders of psychic powers and mysterious occurrences? Of course, it’s not exactly the safest place to learn about all of the weird stuff in the world: you might meet a man who can randomly transform into a man-bear-pig, but you’re just as likely to get infected by a disease that makes your head explode. But somebody has to investigate these cases and keep the general public safe, right? Well, that’s the basic plot of Fringe: a team of scientists set out each week to investigate the unknown and contain it before it becomes a threat to humanity.
The oldest member of this team happens to be one Dr. Walter Bishop. He’s a bit…well, strange. He spent 17 years in a mental hospital, and he was only let out because the FBI needed his help (though, admittedly, his reputation as a skilled fringe scientist helped). But because he was locked up for so long Walter is a bit out-of-touch with modern technology. He constantly refers to things from the early 90s as ‘current’ while at the same time being amazed by things from cell-phones to high-speed computers. He is extremely intelligent, though, and he manages to work his way through any problems he might have with ‘newfangled equipment’. But he is also very disjointed, most likely a result of being locked up with insane people for so long. His thoughts can seem very disjointed, and a lot of times what he says makes no sense. He also has trouble with censoring himself, and he ends up being terribly blunt and a bit on the perverted side from time to time. But what’s most important for him is his almost child-like interest in the field of fringe science. He is amazed by what he finds, and he is more than happy to do all sorts of experiments on new specimens. While he does show some restraint about experimenting on humans (meaning that he asks first), he will gleefully do experiments on the non-human or the dead. He also has this bad habit of not being completely honest when disclosing the side-effects of whatever experiment he’s doing, which has gotten him in trouble more than once.
Sample Entry: Yes, yes, I know you want to be released from your cage, but we need to continue on with the experiment. Now the last batch of this revival serum had some rather unpleasant side-effects, but I have tinkered with the formula to the point where it should be stable. I assure you, you won’t turn into a pile of goo like your friend there. Probably. But it’s all in the name of science, so it is most definitely worth it. If this serum works on you, my friend, then imagine the possibilities! We could revive anyone who has died: presidents, great scientists, and even some of those lovely actresses! But I’m getting a bit ahead of myself, aren’t I? Let’s focus on what’s happening here.
Now there is the chance of a few side-effects in the reviving process. No, no, they’re nothing to be concerned about. They’re just minor inconveniences. And really, I don’t think you could call the pair of supple breasts that grew on patient number six a ‘side-effect’, as it was impossible to tell if it was a man or a woman to begin with. Really, it would have been more helpful if they had written a gender instead of “It’s a trap” on their pre-operation sheet. I should like to think she was a woman, though, because she came out very attractive. Why, in my day, a young woman like that wouldn’t have been able to walk down the street without a hoard of men making catcalls and… Well! Let’s not go there for now.
Where was I… Oh yes, the procedures. I would offer some morphine, but I don’t think that would help you too much. If you can have your arm ripped off without a complaint then I’m sure you won’t mind any of this. It will be a series of three injections, and it should take roughly thirty seconds, or about as long as it takes for the operating system of a highly-advanced biomedical device known as- ah, you’re having trouble following me, aren’t you? No matter. Once we get a fully-functional brain inside that head of yours, you should be able to follow me just fine. Now, my watch was previously destroyed by the local Gorilla beringei forma purpurea, but that is nothing to worry about. While it may not be as accurate as a watch, this egg timer should do just fine. The outside appearance might be a bit more…baking-oriented, but the mechanisms inside are basically the same, so it will be all right. Let us begin. Three…two…one…
…oh dear. That one left quite a mess. But what a fascinating result! I had no idea that a zombie’s body could expand at such a rate! Unfortunately, that means this batch was a waste. Oh well, I’ll just write off specimen number nineteen and return to the more successful ones for further testing. Specimen ten actually did very well, if you discount the tentacles it suddenly sprouted, and number six would have done better if it weren’t so afraid of specimen number seven. But seven ate nine, so I suppose it is to be expected. We’ll just use number ten’s formula. Perhaps some music to set the mood would help me to concentrate on the complex formulas involved.
I do appreciate your efforts to provide music, but your constant slurring of the words ‘bring me to life’ isn’t quite what I had in mind. If you’re looking for some ‘popular’ music, might I suggest something by that new band, the Dixie Chicks?
Poll Vote!
Character Name: Kim Jin-Hyuk
Series: Antique Bakery (Korean movie)
Character Age: 30
Job: Cake Pimp
Canon: Once upon a time, there was a dysfunctional but lovable group of four handsome men in a bakery called Antique. One's a demonic charmer, one's a grouchy old man, one's a total klutz, and the last one, a hotheaded youngster. Together, they run the bakery more efficiently than you would expect out of such clashing personalities. While we can all gather together to guess which man is gay, this app is talking about the one who firmly believes he's straight so don't any man be touching him.
Owner of Antique Bakery, Jin-Hyuk is a grumpy man with a fuse shorter than the dinky moustache on his face. Anger him and he will curse, hit you with the closest object, or throw flour in your face. But beneath the tsun exterior is a traumatized boy who loves and yearns to be loved. An incident that happened twenty years ago caused him to fear any man's touch, even his own father's, so a simple action like hugging can send him into hysterics. Though Jin-Hyuk is brusque, direct to the point of being an ass, and has a major potty-mouth in private, he can switch into a charming host in front of customers, as any professional businessman should. He's a lot more motivated too, if the customer happens to be a woman.
Sample entry:
Hey, you! Yeah, you, with the face like a dead rat. C'mere. You're one of those residents Miss Sayre mentioned, right? Thought so; you've got the same stench as the rest of this putrid crap. Listen, you idiots aren't doing your job of cleaning up around here. You know what I think about this place? ... you don't care? Well screw you, you're going to hear it anyway. This camp is a cesspool of the world's most revolting life forms. Look at those giant purple monkeys shuffling around in the woods! And I definitely saw a huge tentacle break the surface of that weird expanse of glowy water you call a lake. Why the hell is my shop even set next to that stupid lake? At this rate, customers will be too afraid to drop by, and even if they do drop by, those monkeys will drive them away. So, tell me smartass, how exactly am I supposed to run a respectable cake shop in a place like this?
What? Circumstances are out of your control? Okay then, Mister Useless, here's an easy one for you: do something about my name tag. I am not a "Cake Pimp". I came here to open a US branch of Antique, because the lovely Miss Sayre wanted a cake shop and a "businessman familiar with the running of bakeries". Kinda long for a title, sure, but I could've settled with "Antique Owner". Or even, "Cake Connoisseur". But "Cake Pimp"? You're just asking for a punch in the face. If I'm going to pimp something, I'd prefer to have it dance round a pole and wear garters over legs that run forever. ... heh, garters...
... oi, what are you laughing at, rat-face? I have a what? Don't try and change the topi-- Oh, a customer! And such a beautiful lady too. If I may say, you have most shapely arms. Bit on the ah, decaying side, but very slender nonetheless. Welcome, my dear, to Camp F'You D's Antique Bakery. Just a bit of censoring so your delicate ears won't melt off with those filthy words, hahaha! Shut up, rat-face. What would you care for today? Creme brulee, perhaps? Or our newest creation, a raspberry mont blanc? The sweetness of the meringue base contrasts wonderfully with the sour aftertaste of the raspberries. Hm? A discount? Give me a kiss, and you'll have it. Shut up, rat-face. ... on the cheek, hoho, how shy! That will be five dollars for a raspberry mont blanc, with a discount of a doll-- whoops, just lost a finger in the pastry, huh! No worries, it shouldn't change the flavour too much. Just remember to fish it out before you start eating. Thank you, please come again!
...--the frick was wrong with that woman!? Her finger fell off. Ughh, I?m scrubbing my face raw tonight. Another thing, asshole, if you open that mouth to laugh while I'm entertaining a customer again, I will hit you so hard with this bag of flour you'll be swallowing your remaining teeth. A lady should always be treated like a lady, dead or alive or... stuck in that disgusting stage where the gangrine makes her fingers drop off. That's not the joke? What the hell is the joke, then? No, I didn't see the tent in her pants. What sort of gentleman would check out a lady's... wait, a lady wouldn't even have...
...
Holy shit I hate this fucking camp.
Poll Vote!
Character name: Todd
Series: Stargate Atlantis
Age: Over 10,000 years old, but by human standards appears to be in his thirties.
Job: Alien/Human Intermediary
Canon: In Stargate Atlantis, interstellar wormhole travel is the norm, vampires are aliens, and Merlin the wizard was actually from a race of technologically advanced humans called the Ancients, who built the stargates - shiny stone circles that let people instantly zip from one planet to another, as well as the lost city of Atlantis in a distant part of the universe. Several thousand years ago, the Ancients colonized many planets in the Pegasus Galaxy; unknown to them, however, some of these worlds were infested with a species of insects called Iratus bugs, which fed on the humans who colonized their planet, and over time took on many human characteristics such as larger brain mass, opposable fingers, and the ability to walk upright. These new beings were called Wraith: a tenacious, vampiric, hive-based species that gain nourishment by sucking the life-force out of humans through vagina-esque slit-shaped suckers on their right palms. This reduces the body of their victim to a dried-up husk that appears to have been aged severely. They eventually defeated the Ancients and drove them from the Pegasus Galaxy, allowing the Wraith to have control over it for the next ten-thousand years, until they were woken early from their hibernation cycle by the Atlantis Expedition: a team of soldiers and scientists from Earth who came to study the ruins of Atlantis, and wound up getting sucked into (no pun intended) the struggle between the Pegasus humans and Wraith, leading to many a confrontation.
Todd is a Wraith who was imprisoned for many years by a militaristic society called the Genii, who used him as a method of torture by starving him and forcing him to feed on prisoners. This went on until the Genii captured Colonel John Sheppard, the military ranking officer of the Atlantis Expedition, and forced Todd to drain him repeatedly for small periods of time. Eventually, Sheppard and Todd were able to escape, leading to a fragile alliance with Todd's hive and the humans of Atlantis whenever both parties found it to be mutually beneficial. Todd himself is quite unusual for a Wraith, as he possesses a sense of humor, honor, loyalty and some appreciation for beauty and freedom. While "Todd" isn't his true name, it was given to him by Sheppard as Wraith never disclose their true names to humans, or even admit to having one or not. Todd can also be manipulative, and when enlisting the help of others, he often fails to tell the whole story if he thinks it will harm his chances of getting what he needs from them. He’s neither a complete hero nor a certain villain, and can be very unpredictable, which only contributes to his awesome. He speaks with a formal and occasionally condescending and sarcastic tone, rarely using contractions in sentences.
Sample Entry:
Ladies, gentlemen, and beings of... unspecified gender, I believe it is customary to introduce oneself in this place, and this seemed as good of a time as any, if you will allow me to do so. It seems that I am to be the resident liaison between the humans of this camp and those foreign beings who are of... other races. While names are of little importance to my people, I do realize that many of you have the need to call others by titles, and somehow I doubt that in this place "Commander" will suffice. The human I am the most acquainted with from this world named me "Todd," so I suppose that will be acceptable in this case. Now, if you are a non-human being, I realize that it can be difficult to live with humans if your culture is different from theirs, and that these humans can be unpredictable at best, but there is no reason that we should be at odds here. With the resurrection system in place, there is, likewise, no reason that I should have to take a human life permanently. All living things must eat in some manner, you see; and I have heard tell of people who require sustenance from living beings in some way or another, and that there have been willing participants. The truth is, I will have to feed eventually, and there are some things you may find pleasurable, if you ever considered them. Ah, but going on about my eating problem grows old, and I am venturing off topic...
Elizabeth Sayre has made it clear to me that the payoff of meeting her conditions could be delicious in terms of improved quality of life; not that I believe she will meet her end of the bargain in allowing me to go free once my work here is concluded, especially if the Earthian military has anything to say about it... but I think that an evaluation period in such an intriguing place, as an ambassador of my people, is better than being executed to "get me out of the way," but that is another story. I can't help but find many of the beings native to the area to be interesting, as I'm sure many of you do as well. The telepathic birds being a prime example; they greeted me almost immediately upon my arrival. Moments later, several of them began circling me and eventually dropped a package in my path, which contained an object that was rather... phallic in shape. After which I had to assure them that my feeding maw was not a reproductive organ of any kind, and despite the indications on the box, I knew that I would not be able to fit the item into any of my bodily cavities. I then apologized for possibly offending any of their customs, a thoughtful gesture for which I was rewarded with a blaring telepathic melody that went on for several minutes, accompanied by a rhyme about never giving me up... a threat which I found a little foreboding at the time, given the circumstances. Since that attack, however, they have left me alone, but at least now I know what I can expect from them.
As for the resident humans, I do hope that my current... well, dietary requirements aren't enough to worry you, or keep you from seeking my counsel. A major portion of my time here will be spent working on my research into a gene therapy to rectify this minor inconvenience; but in the meantime, I assure you that I have plenty of self-control... not to mention taste, and I encourage you to come to me with any concerns you may have on the matter, rather than taking it upon yourselves to "redecorate" the area outside my dwelling in the night with your undergarments again. I think it's safe to assume that this was a prank rather than someone's idea of a welcome, as unsanitary and strange as it may be. If any of the items belong to you, you can recover them from the boxes stacked behind my cabin before I have them incinerated. On a related note, there will be a bonfire this evening, and anyone is welcome to come and sit by it and cook food on sticks as some of you like to do, as long as you do not mind any fumes the aforementioned items may give off.
I look forward to working with you all in the near future.
Poll Vote!