(no subject)
SECOND ROUND. If you keep voting, we will post a third round this evening! SPEED ROUNDS FOR EVERYONE and then people can play it up tomorrow. ♥ MOD VALENTINE GIFT TO YOU GUYS?
Remember!
- Applicants, respond anonymously.
- If you're going to do the whole "ask me if I voted you out!" thing, please state who you voted out.
- No speculating about the identity of the applicants!
Now VOTE. Closed!
Character name: Shinonome Mei
Series: Mei-chan no Shitsuji (J-Drama)
Age: 17
Canon: Every girl dreams of living like a princess. Shinonome Mei is no different - that is, until she's yanked out of her commoner life where her parents ran a simple udon restaurant, and thrown into St Lucia Academy, an all-girls' high school for the filthy rich. The story follows Mei's struggles as she encounters over ten classic Jdrama bitchy, vindictive school bullies, who of course, react to her commoner style with scorn and disgust. This being a shoujo drama, we can't forget their pretty flowers butlers either.
A plain, sensible girl, Mei finds the lifestyle of the rich totally absurd. She wants to return to her commoner life, but for personal reasons, she's striving to be a lady. Unfortunately, her rough speech and gait are still like that of a commoner. Frank and outspoken, she's not afraid to voice her thoughts. While her simple-mindedness makes her an easy victim at times, she never backs down from fights, standing her ground against fierce bullying from her classmates with nothing more than a "um, what?" reaction. One of Mei's biggest source of confusion is her butler, Rihito. She feels his presence unnecessary, and she especially can't comprehend why a butler is willing to do so much just for the sake of his lady. Still, she tries to accept him, because it's part and parcel of being a lady... and he can be awfully sweet too.
Sample Entry:
See, this is why I don't understand rich people. They could've used all that money to arrange extravagant school trips to Paris or Italy, or someplace nice. But of course, that's too normal, so we're going on a commoner tour. And not just any commoner tour in Japan, no, we're flying across the world to view a commoner camp in Louisiana, USA.
Not that I don't want to learn the American commoner culture or anything! I lived and grew up as a commoner after all. It's just... I don't like how they treat us like zoo exhibits, you know? I mean, can you imagine? View commoner exhibit A! See the way his skin is rotting and green and covered with mud! See how his bones stick out in odd angles from severe starvation! See the way he moans and staggers about in perpetual depression! Honestly, it's offensive how exaggerated the whole thing is, too. Surely American commoners are not that different from us Japanese ones. I'm willing to bet some rich guy built up his own idea of a commoner camp on the widest space he could find, hired actors to wander around in various costumes, and passed it off as the real deal.
... I'm sorry, a rich, eccentric guy. He can't seriously think any sane person, poor or not, would want to swim in a lake filled with radioactive toxins. And what is Tuesday's soup, exactly? With such a nasty taste, it's an awful representation of commoner food! Can't they use more traditional food? I'd make some udon, but this is a commoner tour of America's camps, not Japan. Don't even get me started on the inaccurate interpretation of shower facilities. Look at these shower heads. They're rusty! Can this knob even turn-- augghhhpfpfftt. What the hell is this? Is this ketchup? It doesn't smell like ketchup. What is this? Geez, those St Lucia girls are getting more and more creative with their pranks. -- Hey. Hey! Commoner exhibit A! I see you laughing over there. What's so funny, huh? Maybe you should try getting drenched with this sticky red junk!
How do you stand working in such a weird place anyway? ... what? My butler? He's busy with an errand right now. Why, what does that have to do with my question? Um, "braaaaaaaiiins" is not really an answer. Unless you're trying to say you wish you had my butler's brains, in which case, here's a piece of advice for you: be careful what you wish for; you'll regret it. I don't think butlers are wired right. Only a crazy person would set up traps just to catch the poor toucans and pluck them bald for a warm winter coat. Yes, that's what I'm wearing right now, and no, I didn't ask him to make it. All I said was that I was cold, okay! Trust me, you don't want to be like a butler. Being a normal commoner is the best form of happiness you can have - once you take off that ridiculous costume anyway.
I said your costume, not your arm...
-- oh, haha, that's quite a trick! You've even got the open socket and everything, like you really did tug your limb out! I hope you're getting paid lots for this job, hahahaha... oh my god, he ripped his own arm out. So, um. I think I'd better get going, since it looks like I've kind of separated from the group. Don't want to get lost in the forest with all those underwear trees - which, by the way, commoners don't own. Well, I'll see you around then. Hm? You have something to tell me?
... the showers spray out WHAT!?
Poll Vote!
Character: Red XIII/Nanaki
Series: Final Fantasy VII/Advent Children
Character Age: 50, as of Advent Children (which is mid-to-late-teens in human years)
Canon: What do you get when a huge conglomerate builds reactors all over the world and sucks out a planet's life energy? Not a good situation, which is where the protagonists of Final Fantasy VII come in. A game about saving the world from said huge conglomerate, as well as crazy men with magical orbs that can summon meteors (as if the planet doesn't have enough problems), FFVII puts you in control of the fate of all. It also makes you crossdress, ride big yellow birds and stab people while riding a motorcycle along the way. One part of said protagonist team is Red XIII, or Nanaki from Cosmo Canyon. Cosmo Canyon is a town very in touch with nature that also studies the life of the planet.
A lion-like creature, Red is full of honor and respect for his hometown and his tribe. He is intelligent, insightful and very mature, which is why it comes as a surprise to learn that he's only considered a child of his species. Of course, his adolescent side shows at times, and he speaks of yearning to become an adult to protect his home, especially after learning that his father sacrificed himself for that same cause. Red was under the impression that his father was a coward who fled in battle, but learning the truth inspired him even more to join Cloud and company on their quest. Red is a powerful warrior, and though he may come off as somewhat isolated and quiet, he cares deeply for his friends, offers them what wisdom he holds and is determined to accomplish their mission to save the planet.
Note: Materia are small orbs used for magic casting.
Sample Post:
.... Yes, those balls you saw were touching. The proper name to use would be "Materia," and putting two of them together like that can enhance the effects of whatever you're using it for. But, I didn't know I had one with a spell that can turn a man into a woman. I'm sorry ma'am-- sir, I'll see if I can reverse the effects. But those colorful birds dressed as ninjas made off with the Materia, so I have to get it back first. They did leave me a clue - I have to collect an item from Marcy in the lake that will allow me access to their 'Sexy Time Love Nest' where they're keeping it.
First, I have to figure out where the lake is, so can someone tell me where I am and which direction to go? This is "Camp @!^& You Die"? ...The name does seem to reflect the state it's in. Places in this condition are ones that do more harm to the planet's life than good. Look over there, the earth itself is so dead that it's begun to infect those who live on it! I've never seen anything like it... you can hear the planet crying for help almost as loudly as the humans are. They're very loud about it, too. And they never stray from their point. "Brains," they're saying. I think that means they want to learn... learn more about the life of the planet, and how they can help save it! If more people listened to them, they wouldn't go to measures like they do to get those brains themselves. But it's okay, I'll help you all out! I think... cleaning the surface is a good start from the looks of it. But, cleaning means picking up garbage and clearing out the junk in the waters, not rubbing a bar of soap against a tree like that.
Just from here to the lake, I'm seeing so much that needs improvement and help. --You over there! Don't eat that! Finger food is an expression, not something you should take seriously. Where did somebody get those fingers in the first place...? You should eat something better than that. Come to think of it, I did see a sign as I was passing by, "special discount on Tuesday's Soup. Free as long as you eat it all." You should go and have some of that. Soup is healthier than anything here, like the lake water, for example. Just look at it, it's so contaminated and bright green that the fish are all wearing sunglasses. I wouldn't even get this close to it if I didn't have a good reason to. So I'll hurry, before those tentacles get any closer to... huh? This is Marcy? Um, I've been sent to collect something from you that will help me get into a 'Sexy Time Love Nest.' Do you have it?
You do? Thank y-- wait, what am I supposed to do with...
[Received Key Item: Marcy's Favorite Lacy Bra!]
...I hope you're not expecting me to put this on. I'm not a human, I don't have the taste or the weird figure to fill something like this out.
Poll Vote!
Character: Athrun Zala
Series: Gundam Seed/Destiny
Character Age: 18
Canon: Gundam Seed/Destiny follows Kira Yamato and Athrun Zala as they attempt to answer an age old question: What is war good for? Even if it frequently turns out to be “absolutely nothing,” they must come to terms with fighting being the only answer at times. Though the first to fight, Athrun finds this question the hardest to figure out. Righteous, he continually straddles a fence of uncertainty, even when the answer remains right within the reach of his fingertips.
The more reserved of the two, Athrun is a quiet, somewhat awkward, individual who seems willing to face predicaments in front of him. Willing to step into the necessary shoes is important, but sometimes he doesn’t understand what those are supposed to be. As an individual, he’s noble and forthright, a good leader and a good friend, but these characteristics don’t always lead to him doing the right thing. When he believes he’s right, he’s stubborn, but easily pushed to states of self-doubt. Perhaps surprisingly so, Athrun is able to inspire others while not maintaining that same push within himself. His need for justice, for objectivity, and for everything working out correctly often leads him astray along a path of indecisiveness. Though he usually comes to the right answer in the end, what is obvious the entire time is never the same for him. Really, though, what Athrun needs is to have logic and common sense beat into him. It works out most of the time, even if he’s an idiot getting there.
Sample Post:
With all the problems I’ve come to see here, I know why Miss Sayre requested my assistance. She sent the official decree not too long ago, and asked that I come to understand everything. The goats and toucans are in an uproar, and I haven’t seen any other creatures happy. It’s because the tentacle creature wants to start a dictatorship and have the zombies as her soldiers. I haven’t seen any effort on the part of the gorillas to stop this. They all want is peace and balance, and I don’t blame them. I think understanding that is why Miss Sayre summoned me here and made me the Commander of Armed Forces. I’m not sure I’m the best for this, but my experience is the reason she called me. And as for the title … I see it’s quite literal, given the gorillas’ weapons and that the zombies have none.
Ah-sorry for speaking to myself. My name is Athrun Zala, and I’ll be your Commander. Why are you waving the arms and grunting now? … That must be some kind of salute. They’re spreading the wave through, anyway. Quiet, please! We’ll need to think about the battle ahead. Even in these uniforms Miss Sayre gave us, you don’t feel much relief, do you? They’re … hardly normal uniforms, with the shorts bunching up, and the tops have no sleeves. But I believe focusing on this will make us forget the task at hand. Things will probably be more difficult. Suddenly, you all seem anxious, but … we’ll do our best.
Even then, the battle ahead is worrisome. We don’t have the right tools, and while we have to fight for what’s necessary, the path may be a dismal one. Aside from the arms, all we have are these small mobile suits, and they won’t help much. I’ve put all of them together, but ah … I don’t think throwing them at our enemy will help. I’ve already devised a plan to make them more efficient and motorized, but that will take time. Maybe when this is over, you’ll all get to have model Justice, Aegis, and Strikes to use in your victory parade as they fly on their own. At least, that wouldn’t be so bad to see.
We aren’t turning away from this now, though. It’ll be a difficult road ahead. It’ll be ... difficult to act as if this doesn’t bother you, but I’m willing to prove it’s necessary. Though all I may have is this miniature representation of Justice, I’m willing to face the brainless zombies and the ferocious Marcy! The girth of the tentacles may be too much for me to take on, but I’ll have to take the risk. I understand this is something I must do first, and I hope you’ll all come to understand you must do the same.
Poll Vote!
Character: Monkey D. Luffy
Series: One Piece
Character Age: 17
Canon: Once upon a time there was an awesome pirate who did awesome things, and right before he died awesomely, he said, "Dudes, I hid some ~*~awesome treasure~*~ and if you're awesome enough to find it, YOU CAN HAVE IT." And everybody was like, "AWESOME!" ...And then they all became pirates. COULD IT GET MORE AWESOME, YOU ASK. It can. And it does! One Piece, in addition to generally never obeying the laws of physics or reason, also features "devil fruits" -- that is, fruit that gives the person who eats it the ability to do something really, super awesome. However, anyone who eats a devil fruit loses the ability to swim (which is less awesome, considering many of the devil fruit users are pirates, and many pirates spend a considerable amount of time around water).
Monkey D. Luffy is both a pirate and a devil fruit user. After eating the Gomu Gomu no Mi (Gum Gum Fruit), his body gained the ability to stretch and expand like rubber. Pile on Luffy's already ridiculous Shounen strength, and you have, well. SOMETHING AWESOME. Luffy's dream is to become the King of the Pirates and to find aforementioned awesome pirate's awesome treasure -- known only as the "one piece." Luffy is easily distracted, loud, impulsive, tactless, a little slow on the uptake, and generally a handful (or two). Still, despite his childish nature, his crew (which includes, but is not limited to, a skeleton, a cyborg, and a talking reindeer) is fiercely loyal to him. Likewise, Luffy would do anything to help or protect a friend, or anyone who's being unfairly treated. Or to get food. You know. Whichever.
Notes: Luffy names all of his attacks, from the serious ("Gomu Gomu no Pistol!") to the ridiculous ("Gomu Gomu no Octopus!"). "Shishishi" is Luffy's signature laugh.
Sample Post:
MEAT! I NEED MEAT. Oi, oi, old man! Which way's the food!? I tried catching my own, but you guys picked some really bad animals to come live on this island with you! Those cows were really weird tasting, and they hurt my teeth, so -- ah? They're made of metal? A-AMAZING!! That makes them cyborgs! Right?! I wonder if they can fly, or go really fast, or shoot beams. THERE'S GOTTA BE A BEAM!! I just know it! I wanna ride one!! I HAVE TO.
Shishishi! I take it back, old man! This place is pretty awesome! I bet this swamp goes on for miles, too! So that means there are monsters for miles! Or even mile-long monsters! Any way you look at it, there definitely have to be some strong, cool-looking guys here! Hmm. Now that I think about it, you're pretty interesting, for an old man with a big wound. It's a really, really big wound, though, and since you're still walking, that means you must be pretty strong! It's gotta be hard to get around on one leg, too. I tried it once, but I fell overboard. Ehhh!? You're a pirate, too!? You don't really look like one, though... It's the eyepatch. What kind of pirate wears an eyepatch?
Oi, oi, oi, don't bite me! It's not my fault eyepatches are stupid looking! That's no reason to start picking a fight. Anyway, biting me like that won't work. I'm a rubberman! Yeah, everything's elastic. Uh huh, even that! ...Naaa, what kind of question is that? Of course I use rubber. I just told you! I can't help it, it's what I am. And if you wanna see "something big," you gotta bring me food first!! We'll trade!
-- What's this!? Flat food!? Uuuohoho! Wow! ...Ah, no. It just tastes like paper. It is paper! A list of rules? What for? Jerk! First it looked like some kind of pancake, and then it looked like a wanted poster. I thought my bounty had gone up! Man, you got me all excited!
Ahhh... applications, applications... campers... Is this some kind of test? This part says, "You need 70% in votes to get accepted." But I don't get what that little sign is after the number. You keep saying, "Percentaaaaugh," but that doesn't help. Maybe it's a MYSTERY SYMBOL! Actually... if I turn it this way, it looks exactly like your face! So seventy old men like you have to accept me before I can explore this island? Uoahhhh! That's a lot of old men! But I bet you've never seen anybody like me before. Shishishi! I'll start with you! You wanted to see what I can do!? Now I have a good reason! FOOD! BEAM COWS! HERE I COME!!
GOMU GOMU NO... SEVENTY PERCENT!!
How was that!? -- Old man?
...Ahh, oops. Is 69 okay?
Poll Vote!
Character: Nami
Series: One Piece
Character Age: 18
Canon: One Piece! It's a manga about pirates! Magical pirates! Magical pirates having magical adventures on the magical high seas as they magically beat the crap out of each other with their magical powers! Our story follows Monkey D. Luffy, pirate, protagonist, and shounen retard extraordinaire, on his quest to find the treasure One Piece and become the Pirate King. Of course, no shounen hero is complete without his teammates, and no captain is complete without his crew. Enter Nami, the ship's navigator, money-handler, and voice of something occasionally resembling reason.
In a world full of giant Vikings, cola-powered cyborgs, transvestite ballerina assassins, and giraffe-people, Nami is a relatively normal girl. Which is perfectly all right as far as she's concerned. It's not that she can't hold her own in a fight -- it's just that she'd prefer to wait on the sidelines while all those other people smack each other around and then take their stuff while they're not looking. Years of stealing from cutthroat criminals have made her quick-witted and calculating -- she's excellent at talking her way out of situations, and she'll lie, cheat, and do just about anything to turn a scenario to her advantage. Nami's interests include gold, jewels, treasure, cash, expensive things, and money. Secondary interests include blackmail, extortion, drinking hardened pirates under the table, and finding creative ways to keep from dying horribly in all the insane situations her captain gets her into.
Sample Post:
All right, this fabled "Center of Camp" had better be seriously amazing, because this is officially the seventh worst expedition ever. "The swamp was too deep to ford" -- what kind of lousy excuse is that?! And I swear, if I have to sneak past one more creepy monkey nest, I'm gonna--
IYAAAAAAAA--aaa . . . ahahaaa, y-you startled me! What a surprise, what a surprise~ I wasn't expecting to run into such a welcoming, u-um -- lady? . . . Gentleman? Gentlelady? -- all the way out here! . . . Eh? Flesh of the living, you say? Haha, well, none of that here! Nope, nobody here but us zombies~ It's a pleasure to meet you. Please, call me Nambie~!
Now, I can see what you're thinking . . . I'm far too gorgeous to be undead, right? It has to be some kind of trick! Ehehe . . . you'd be surprised how often I hear that~ But you know, it's really nothing you couldn't achieve too! It's true! A little work on your balance will turn that shamble into a sashay . . . and has anyone ever told you that you have naturally lovely cheekbones? And they're so visible~! Really, you have so much there to highlight . . . you should start with some accessories to bring out that gorgeous olive green in your skintone. Not a lot of girls can pull that off, you know! All it takes is a little deadication!
Listen -- Elaine, was it? Ah, I'm sorry, Elaaaaiiiiiine -- there's no such thing as a girl who's just "too plaaaaiiiiiin." Let me guess -- you've been left in the lurch before. Mmm, I thought so. I know, the dating scene can be a total paaaaaiiiiin, but you don't want to stay cold and unattached forever, do you? It might seem like an uphill climb, but I can tell . . . under that rotting flesh and staggering lurch is a beautiful flower just waiting to burst from the ground. And believe me when I say that somewhere out there, there's a sweet, undead guy out there who'll like you for more than just your braaaaiiiiiins.
Poll Vote!
Character: Black*Star
Series: Soul Eater
Character Age: 13
Canon: If you thought things like Death Scythes and Grim Reapers were always bad, you're in for quite a surprise! In the world of Soul Eater, children enrolled in Shibusen Academy are required to collect 99 corrupted human souls, plus a witch one, in order to create a weapon for a Grim Reaper to wield. Trying to graduate is hardly all they do, though, as their efforts are supposed to help keep the world in check and prevent the Demon God, who feeds on human souls, from being born yet again.
Extremely self-absorbed and loud, Black*Star is supposed to be an assassin capable of hiding in the shadows, but fails because he loves being in the spotlight and has problems remembering that stealthing and shouting his name don't actually go well together. Overall, he's somewhat of a unique guy: hyperactive, funny and with an ego as big as the moon. He's generally annoying, irritating and immature, and he firmly believes everything has to be about him-- but despite his flaws, he isn't all that bad. Yes, he may be a retard and he may get mad if someone dares to steal his spotlight, but all in all, he's a good guy at heart and honestly cares for his friends, even if he might only show it in his own special way.
Sample Post:
Ohi, what's with this place? A summer camp located in a swamp isn't a stage big enough for someone like me! Of course it's enough for small people like you, but you can't force a star like me to stay here. My great self is not going to be impressed by zombies, gorillas or giant squids living in the lake! I want something greater! Of course, small people just can't get it. But I understand: in this time and age, it's impossible to find a place suited for such a great presence like mine. It's an unbreakable curse even for someone as big as me..! It's fine, though. The great Black*Star is going to change this camp, hyahahah!
First, a name like "Camp Fuck You Die" is way too small. Heh, it's not even scary! If you want people to fear its might, you should name it after something so big that it makes people feel like ants just by hearing the name. Of course, nothing is bigger than me, so from now own, this Camp will be named "Camp Great Black*Star". That sounds like something mighty! The more you think of it, the more you just can't help but feel overwhelmed by the greatness of it! I almost can't help it myself. This place really is unworthy of a name like mine, but I know, stars like me sometimes have to make great sacrifices in order to help people like you grow-- I'll let you use it.
Second, there isn't any place high enough to stand on top of! For people as big as me, it's important to stand somewhere where it's easy to look down at small people like you, while we declare our names and goals. If it can't be done somewhere high, it just won't be as great. But don't worry, my great self thought of a wonderful solution. A statue! An enormous one, placed just in front of the lake. There's that giant squid in there, right? I'm sure that a statue of someone as great as me will be enough to scare it off and keep it in check, too. See? It takes care of both the monster and lack of high point problems. Hyahahah, of course only a genius like me could think of such a great solution!
Third... Well, there's no third point. It really doesn't matter what you do, this place will still never be a stage worthy of me. I'm a man who can defeat the Gods, after all. But if you change the Camp's name and build a statue for me, you might earn yourself my autograph! I'll give you a bunch, so you can even let all the other campers get one-- I bet that's going to make them happy. I mean, just face it, Miss Sayre, nobody would care if you started giving out your own autograph, so of course you'll have to use mine! I'm a star, after all, and who wouldn't want to touch something with the name of someone as big as me written on it?
Poll Vote!
Remember!
- Applicants, respond anonymously.
- If you're going to do the whole "ask me if I voted you out!" thing, please state who you voted out.
- No speculating about the identity of the applicants!
Now VOTE. Closed!
Character name: Shinonome Mei
Series: Mei-chan no Shitsuji (J-Drama)
Age: 17
Canon: Every girl dreams of living like a princess. Shinonome Mei is no different - that is, until she's yanked out of her commoner life where her parents ran a simple udon restaurant, and thrown into St Lucia Academy, an all-girls' high school for the filthy rich. The story follows Mei's struggles as she encounters over ten classic Jdrama bitchy, vindictive school bullies, who of course, react to her commoner style with scorn and disgust. This being a shoujo drama, we can't forget their pretty flowers butlers either.
A plain, sensible girl, Mei finds the lifestyle of the rich totally absurd. She wants to return to her commoner life, but for personal reasons, she's striving to be a lady. Unfortunately, her rough speech and gait are still like that of a commoner. Frank and outspoken, she's not afraid to voice her thoughts. While her simple-mindedness makes her an easy victim at times, she never backs down from fights, standing her ground against fierce bullying from her classmates with nothing more than a "um, what?" reaction. One of Mei's biggest source of confusion is her butler, Rihito. She feels his presence unnecessary, and she especially can't comprehend why a butler is willing to do so much just for the sake of his lady. Still, she tries to accept him, because it's part and parcel of being a lady... and he can be awfully sweet too.
Sample Entry:
See, this is why I don't understand rich people. They could've used all that money to arrange extravagant school trips to Paris or Italy, or someplace nice. But of course, that's too normal, so we're going on a commoner tour. And not just any commoner tour in Japan, no, we're flying across the world to view a commoner camp in Louisiana, USA.
Not that I don't want to learn the American commoner culture or anything! I lived and grew up as a commoner after all. It's just... I don't like how they treat us like zoo exhibits, you know? I mean, can you imagine? View commoner exhibit A! See the way his skin is rotting and green and covered with mud! See how his bones stick out in odd angles from severe starvation! See the way he moans and staggers about in perpetual depression! Honestly, it's offensive how exaggerated the whole thing is, too. Surely American commoners are not that different from us Japanese ones. I'm willing to bet some rich guy built up his own idea of a commoner camp on the widest space he could find, hired actors to wander around in various costumes, and passed it off as the real deal.
... I'm sorry, a rich, eccentric guy. He can't seriously think any sane person, poor or not, would want to swim in a lake filled with radioactive toxins. And what is Tuesday's soup, exactly? With such a nasty taste, it's an awful representation of commoner food! Can't they use more traditional food? I'd make some udon, but this is a commoner tour of America's camps, not Japan. Don't even get me started on the inaccurate interpretation of shower facilities. Look at these shower heads. They're rusty! Can this knob even turn-- augghhhpfpfftt. What the hell is this? Is this ketchup? It doesn't smell like ketchup. What is this? Geez, those St Lucia girls are getting more and more creative with their pranks. -- Hey. Hey! Commoner exhibit A! I see you laughing over there. What's so funny, huh? Maybe you should try getting drenched with this sticky red junk!
How do you stand working in such a weird place anyway? ... what? My butler? He's busy with an errand right now. Why, what does that have to do with my question? Um, "braaaaaaaiiins" is not really an answer. Unless you're trying to say you wish you had my butler's brains, in which case, here's a piece of advice for you: be careful what you wish for; you'll regret it. I don't think butlers are wired right. Only a crazy person would set up traps just to catch the poor toucans and pluck them bald for a warm winter coat. Yes, that's what I'm wearing right now, and no, I didn't ask him to make it. All I said was that I was cold, okay! Trust me, you don't want to be like a butler. Being a normal commoner is the best form of happiness you can have - once you take off that ridiculous costume anyway.
I said your costume, not your arm...
-- oh, haha, that's quite a trick! You've even got the open socket and everything, like you really did tug your limb out! I hope you're getting paid lots for this job, hahahaha... oh my god, he ripped his own arm out. So, um. I think I'd better get going, since it looks like I've kind of separated from the group. Don't want to get lost in the forest with all those underwear trees - which, by the way, commoners don't own. Well, I'll see you around then. Hm? You have something to tell me?
... the showers spray out WHAT!?
Poll Vote!
Character: Red XIII/Nanaki
Series: Final Fantasy VII/Advent Children
Character Age: 50, as of Advent Children (which is mid-to-late-teens in human years)
Canon: What do you get when a huge conglomerate builds reactors all over the world and sucks out a planet's life energy? Not a good situation, which is where the protagonists of Final Fantasy VII come in. A game about saving the world from said huge conglomerate, as well as crazy men with magical orbs that can summon meteors (as if the planet doesn't have enough problems), FFVII puts you in control of the fate of all. It also makes you crossdress, ride big yellow birds and stab people while riding a motorcycle along the way. One part of said protagonist team is Red XIII, or Nanaki from Cosmo Canyon. Cosmo Canyon is a town very in touch with nature that also studies the life of the planet.
A lion-like creature, Red is full of honor and respect for his hometown and his tribe. He is intelligent, insightful and very mature, which is why it comes as a surprise to learn that he's only considered a child of his species. Of course, his adolescent side shows at times, and he speaks of yearning to become an adult to protect his home, especially after learning that his father sacrificed himself for that same cause. Red was under the impression that his father was a coward who fled in battle, but learning the truth inspired him even more to join Cloud and company on their quest. Red is a powerful warrior, and though he may come off as somewhat isolated and quiet, he cares deeply for his friends, offers them what wisdom he holds and is determined to accomplish their mission to save the planet.
Note: Materia are small orbs used for magic casting.
Sample Post:
.... Yes, those balls you saw were touching. The proper name to use would be "Materia," and putting two of them together like that can enhance the effects of whatever you're using it for. But, I didn't know I had one with a spell that can turn a man into a woman. I'm sorry ma'am-- sir, I'll see if I can reverse the effects. But those colorful birds dressed as ninjas made off with the Materia, so I have to get it back first. They did leave me a clue - I have to collect an item from Marcy in the lake that will allow me access to their 'Sexy Time Love Nest' where they're keeping it.
First, I have to figure out where the lake is, so can someone tell me where I am and which direction to go? This is "Camp @!^& You Die"? ...The name does seem to reflect the state it's in. Places in this condition are ones that do more harm to the planet's life than good. Look over there, the earth itself is so dead that it's begun to infect those who live on it! I've never seen anything like it... you can hear the planet crying for help almost as loudly as the humans are. They're very loud about it, too. And they never stray from their point. "Brains," they're saying. I think that means they want to learn... learn more about the life of the planet, and how they can help save it! If more people listened to them, they wouldn't go to measures like they do to get those brains themselves. But it's okay, I'll help you all out! I think... cleaning the surface is a good start from the looks of it. But, cleaning means picking up garbage and clearing out the junk in the waters, not rubbing a bar of soap against a tree like that.
Just from here to the lake, I'm seeing so much that needs improvement and help. --You over there! Don't eat that! Finger food is an expression, not something you should take seriously. Where did somebody get those fingers in the first place...? You should eat something better than that. Come to think of it, I did see a sign as I was passing by, "special discount on Tuesday's Soup. Free as long as you eat it all." You should go and have some of that. Soup is healthier than anything here, like the lake water, for example. Just look at it, it's so contaminated and bright green that the fish are all wearing sunglasses. I wouldn't even get this close to it if I didn't have a good reason to. So I'll hurry, before those tentacles get any closer to... huh? This is Marcy? Um, I've been sent to collect something from you that will help me get into a 'Sexy Time Love Nest.' Do you have it?
You do? Thank y-- wait, what am I supposed to do with...
[Received Key Item: Marcy's Favorite Lacy Bra!]
...I hope you're not expecting me to put this on. I'm not a human, I don't have the taste or the weird figure to fill something like this out.
Poll Vote!
Character: Athrun Zala
Series: Gundam Seed/Destiny
Character Age: 18
Canon: Gundam Seed/Destiny follows Kira Yamato and Athrun Zala as they attempt to answer an age old question: What is war good for? Even if it frequently turns out to be “absolutely nothing,” they must come to terms with fighting being the only answer at times. Though the first to fight, Athrun finds this question the hardest to figure out. Righteous, he continually straddles a fence of uncertainty, even when the answer remains right within the reach of his fingertips.
The more reserved of the two, Athrun is a quiet, somewhat awkward, individual who seems willing to face predicaments in front of him. Willing to step into the necessary shoes is important, but sometimes he doesn’t understand what those are supposed to be. As an individual, he’s noble and forthright, a good leader and a good friend, but these characteristics don’t always lead to him doing the right thing. When he believes he’s right, he’s stubborn, but easily pushed to states of self-doubt. Perhaps surprisingly so, Athrun is able to inspire others while not maintaining that same push within himself. His need for justice, for objectivity, and for everything working out correctly often leads him astray along a path of indecisiveness. Though he usually comes to the right answer in the end, what is obvious the entire time is never the same for him. Really, though, what Athrun needs is to have logic and common sense beat into him. It works out most of the time, even if he’s an idiot getting there.
Sample Post:
With all the problems I’ve come to see here, I know why Miss Sayre requested my assistance. She sent the official decree not too long ago, and asked that I come to understand everything. The goats and toucans are in an uproar, and I haven’t seen any other creatures happy. It’s because the tentacle creature wants to start a dictatorship and have the zombies as her soldiers. I haven’t seen any effort on the part of the gorillas to stop this. They all want is peace and balance, and I don’t blame them. I think understanding that is why Miss Sayre summoned me here and made me the Commander of Armed Forces. I’m not sure I’m the best for this, but my experience is the reason she called me. And as for the title … I see it’s quite literal, given the gorillas’ weapons and that the zombies have none.
Ah-sorry for speaking to myself. My name is Athrun Zala, and I’ll be your Commander. Why are you waving the arms and grunting now? … That must be some kind of salute. They’re spreading the wave through, anyway. Quiet, please! We’ll need to think about the battle ahead. Even in these uniforms Miss Sayre gave us, you don’t feel much relief, do you? They’re … hardly normal uniforms, with the shorts bunching up, and the tops have no sleeves. But I believe focusing on this will make us forget the task at hand. Things will probably be more difficult. Suddenly, you all seem anxious, but … we’ll do our best.
Even then, the battle ahead is worrisome. We don’t have the right tools, and while we have to fight for what’s necessary, the path may be a dismal one. Aside from the arms, all we have are these small mobile suits, and they won’t help much. I’ve put all of them together, but ah … I don’t think throwing them at our enemy will help. I’ve already devised a plan to make them more efficient and motorized, but that will take time. Maybe when this is over, you’ll all get to have model Justice, Aegis, and Strikes to use in your victory parade as they fly on their own. At least, that wouldn’t be so bad to see.
We aren’t turning away from this now, though. It’ll be a difficult road ahead. It’ll be ... difficult to act as if this doesn’t bother you, but I’m willing to prove it’s necessary. Though all I may have is this miniature representation of Justice, I’m willing to face the brainless zombies and the ferocious Marcy! The girth of the tentacles may be too much for me to take on, but I’ll have to take the risk. I understand this is something I must do first, and I hope you’ll all come to understand you must do the same.
Poll Vote!
Character: Monkey D. Luffy
Series: One Piece
Character Age: 17
Canon: Once upon a time there was an awesome pirate who did awesome things, and right before he died awesomely, he said, "Dudes, I hid some ~*~awesome treasure~*~ and if you're awesome enough to find it, YOU CAN HAVE IT." And everybody was like, "AWESOME!" ...And then they all became pirates. COULD IT GET MORE AWESOME, YOU ASK. It can. And it does! One Piece, in addition to generally never obeying the laws of physics or reason, also features "devil fruits" -- that is, fruit that gives the person who eats it the ability to do something really, super awesome. However, anyone who eats a devil fruit loses the ability to swim (which is less awesome, considering many of the devil fruit users are pirates, and many pirates spend a considerable amount of time around water).
Monkey D. Luffy is both a pirate and a devil fruit user. After eating the Gomu Gomu no Mi (Gum Gum Fruit), his body gained the ability to stretch and expand like rubber. Pile on Luffy's already ridiculous Shounen strength, and you have, well. SOMETHING AWESOME. Luffy's dream is to become the King of the Pirates and to find aforementioned awesome pirate's awesome treasure -- known only as the "one piece." Luffy is easily distracted, loud, impulsive, tactless, a little slow on the uptake, and generally a handful (or two). Still, despite his childish nature, his crew (which includes, but is not limited to, a skeleton, a cyborg, and a talking reindeer) is fiercely loyal to him. Likewise, Luffy would do anything to help or protect a friend, or anyone who's being unfairly treated. Or to get food. You know. Whichever.
Notes: Luffy names all of his attacks, from the serious ("Gomu Gomu no Pistol!") to the ridiculous ("Gomu Gomu no Octopus!"). "Shishishi" is Luffy's signature laugh.
Sample Post:
MEAT! I NEED MEAT. Oi, oi, old man! Which way's the food!? I tried catching my own, but you guys picked some really bad animals to come live on this island with you! Those cows were really weird tasting, and they hurt my teeth, so -- ah? They're made of metal? A-AMAZING!! That makes them cyborgs! Right?! I wonder if they can fly, or go really fast, or shoot beams. THERE'S GOTTA BE A BEAM!! I just know it! I wanna ride one!! I HAVE TO.
Shishishi! I take it back, old man! This place is pretty awesome! I bet this swamp goes on for miles, too! So that means there are monsters for miles! Or even mile-long monsters! Any way you look at it, there definitely have to be some strong, cool-looking guys here! Hmm. Now that I think about it, you're pretty interesting, for an old man with a big wound. It's a really, really big wound, though, and since you're still walking, that means you must be pretty strong! It's gotta be hard to get around on one leg, too. I tried it once, but I fell overboard. Ehhh!? You're a pirate, too!? You don't really look like one, though... It's the eyepatch. What kind of pirate wears an eyepatch?
Oi, oi, oi, don't bite me! It's not my fault eyepatches are stupid looking! That's no reason to start picking a fight. Anyway, biting me like that won't work. I'm a rubberman! Yeah, everything's elastic. Uh huh, even that! ...Naaa, what kind of question is that? Of course I use rubber. I just told you! I can't help it, it's what I am. And if you wanna see "something big," you gotta bring me food first!! We'll trade!
-- What's this!? Flat food!? Uuuohoho! Wow! ...Ah, no. It just tastes like paper. It is paper! A list of rules? What for? Jerk! First it looked like some kind of pancake, and then it looked like a wanted poster. I thought my bounty had gone up! Man, you got me all excited!
Ahhh... applications, applications... campers... Is this some kind of test? This part says, "You need 70% in votes to get accepted." But I don't get what that little sign is after the number. You keep saying, "Percentaaaaugh," but that doesn't help. Maybe it's a MYSTERY SYMBOL! Actually... if I turn it this way, it looks exactly like your face! So seventy old men like you have to accept me before I can explore this island? Uoahhhh! That's a lot of old men! But I bet you've never seen anybody like me before. Shishishi! I'll start with you! You wanted to see what I can do!? Now I have a good reason! FOOD! BEAM COWS! HERE I COME!!
GOMU GOMU NO... SEVENTY PERCENT!!
How was that!? -- Old man?
...Ahh, oops. Is 69 okay?
Poll Vote!
Character: Nami
Series: One Piece
Character Age: 18
Canon: One Piece! It's a manga about pirates! Magical pirates! Magical pirates having magical adventures on the magical high seas as they magically beat the crap out of each other with their magical powers! Our story follows Monkey D. Luffy, pirate, protagonist, and shounen retard extraordinaire, on his quest to find the treasure One Piece and become the Pirate King. Of course, no shounen hero is complete without his teammates, and no captain is complete without his crew. Enter Nami, the ship's navigator, money-handler, and voice of something occasionally resembling reason.
In a world full of giant Vikings, cola-powered cyborgs, transvestite ballerina assassins, and giraffe-people, Nami is a relatively normal girl. Which is perfectly all right as far as she's concerned. It's not that she can't hold her own in a fight -- it's just that she'd prefer to wait on the sidelines while all those other people smack each other around and then take their stuff while they're not looking. Years of stealing from cutthroat criminals have made her quick-witted and calculating -- she's excellent at talking her way out of situations, and she'll lie, cheat, and do just about anything to turn a scenario to her advantage. Nami's interests include gold, jewels, treasure, cash, expensive things, and money. Secondary interests include blackmail, extortion, drinking hardened pirates under the table, and finding creative ways to keep from dying horribly in all the insane situations her captain gets her into.
Sample Post:
All right, this fabled "Center of Camp" had better be seriously amazing, because this is officially the seventh worst expedition ever. "The swamp was too deep to ford" -- what kind of lousy excuse is that?! And I swear, if I have to sneak past one more creepy monkey nest, I'm gonna--
IYAAAAAAAA--aaa . . . ahahaaa, y-you startled me! What a surprise, what a surprise~ I wasn't expecting to run into such a welcoming, u-um -- lady? . . . Gentleman? Gentlelady? -- all the way out here! . . . Eh? Flesh of the living, you say? Haha, well, none of that here! Nope, nobody here but us zombies~ It's a pleasure to meet you. Please, call me Nambie~!
Now, I can see what you're thinking . . . I'm far too gorgeous to be undead, right? It has to be some kind of trick! Ehehe . . . you'd be surprised how often I hear that~ But you know, it's really nothing you couldn't achieve too! It's true! A little work on your balance will turn that shamble into a sashay . . . and has anyone ever told you that you have naturally lovely cheekbones? And they're so visible~! Really, you have so much there to highlight . . . you should start with some accessories to bring out that gorgeous olive green in your skintone. Not a lot of girls can pull that off, you know! All it takes is a little deadication!
Listen -- Elaine, was it? Ah, I'm sorry, Elaaaaiiiiiine -- there's no such thing as a girl who's just "too plaaaaiiiiiin." Let me guess -- you've been left in the lurch before. Mmm, I thought so. I know, the dating scene can be a total paaaaaiiiiin, but you don't want to stay cold and unattached forever, do you? It might seem like an uphill climb, but I can tell . . . under that rotting flesh and staggering lurch is a beautiful flower just waiting to burst from the ground. And believe me when I say that somewhere out there, there's a sweet, undead guy out there who'll like you for more than just your braaaaiiiiiins.
Poll Vote!
Character: Black*Star
Series: Soul Eater
Character Age: 13
Canon: If you thought things like Death Scythes and Grim Reapers were always bad, you're in for quite a surprise! In the world of Soul Eater, children enrolled in Shibusen Academy are required to collect 99 corrupted human souls, plus a witch one, in order to create a weapon for a Grim Reaper to wield. Trying to graduate is hardly all they do, though, as their efforts are supposed to help keep the world in check and prevent the Demon God, who feeds on human souls, from being born yet again.
Extremely self-absorbed and loud, Black*Star is supposed to be an assassin capable of hiding in the shadows, but fails because he loves being in the spotlight and has problems remembering that stealthing and shouting his name don't actually go well together. Overall, he's somewhat of a unique guy: hyperactive, funny and with an ego as big as the moon. He's generally annoying, irritating and immature, and he firmly believes everything has to be about him-- but despite his flaws, he isn't all that bad. Yes, he may be a retard and he may get mad if someone dares to steal his spotlight, but all in all, he's a good guy at heart and honestly cares for his friends, even if he might only show it in his own special way.
Sample Post:
Ohi, what's with this place? A summer camp located in a swamp isn't a stage big enough for someone like me! Of course it's enough for small people like you, but you can't force a star like me to stay here. My great self is not going to be impressed by zombies, gorillas or giant squids living in the lake! I want something greater! Of course, small people just can't get it. But I understand: in this time and age, it's impossible to find a place suited for such a great presence like mine. It's an unbreakable curse even for someone as big as me..! It's fine, though. The great Black*Star is going to change this camp, hyahahah!
First, a name like "Camp Fuck You Die" is way too small. Heh, it's not even scary! If you want people to fear its might, you should name it after something so big that it makes people feel like ants just by hearing the name. Of course, nothing is bigger than me, so from now own, this Camp will be named "Camp Great Black*Star". That sounds like something mighty! The more you think of it, the more you just can't help but feel overwhelmed by the greatness of it! I almost can't help it myself. This place really is unworthy of a name like mine, but I know, stars like me sometimes have to make great sacrifices in order to help people like you grow-- I'll let you use it.
Second, there isn't any place high enough to stand on top of! For people as big as me, it's important to stand somewhere where it's easy to look down at small people like you, while we declare our names and goals. If it can't be done somewhere high, it just won't be as great. But don't worry, my great self thought of a wonderful solution. A statue! An enormous one, placed just in front of the lake. There's that giant squid in there, right? I'm sure that a statue of someone as great as me will be enough to scare it off and keep it in check, too. See? It takes care of both the monster and lack of high point problems. Hyahahah, of course only a genius like me could think of such a great solution!
Third... Well, there's no third point. It really doesn't matter what you do, this place will still never be a stage worthy of me. I'm a man who can defeat the Gods, after all. But if you change the Camp's name and build a statue for me, you might earn yourself my autograph! I'll give you a bunch, so you can even let all the other campers get one-- I bet that's going to make them happy. I mean, just face it, Miss Sayre, nobody would care if you started giving out your own autograph, so of course you'll have to use mine! I'm a star, after all, and who wouldn't want to touch something with the name of someone as big as me written on it?
Poll Vote!