(no subject)
FIRST BATCH, blahblahblah. Apps are open until 6 AM EST, you know how it goes.
Also I don't think we ever said something and fgdfghkl it's been almost two months, so. THANK YOU to whoever it was that paid for the main comm. We who were unable to unfold threads before salute you.
Remember!
- Applicants, respond anonymously.
- If you're going to do the whole "ask me if I voted you out!" thing, please state who you voted out.
- No speculating about the identity of the applicants!
Now VOTE. Closed!
Character: Howard Link
Series: D.Gray-man
Age: 19
Canon: At it's most basic, D.Gray-man is about a contest of power-ups between the good guys and bad guys: the Exorcists of the Black Order and the Millennium Earl respectively. In the imaginary end-of-the-19th-century, the world is about to be consumed by darkness if the Exorcists aren't able to collect all the pieces of a mysterious ancient holy weapon called Innocence and gather an army strong enough the stop the Earl and his Akuma. However, gathering Innocence and finding people capable of using it takes a lot of resources. And saving the world, as it turns out, involves a lot of bureaucracy.
MILD SPOILERS AHEAD: Unfortunately, Allen Walker, the resident Jesus McGodmode of the Black Order, has recently gotten the attention of Central (the highest level of administration in the Order). Because Central suspects there's a connection between Allen and the Millennium Earl, Howard Link has been assigned to stalk and observe him. Day and night. Sleeping, waking, eating... there is nothing too insignificant about Allen for Link to notice... That's to be expected, seeing as he is a NINJA of the Vatican. He is part of an elite unit of assassins called "Crow" kept by Central. However, his official title is "Inspector Howard Link" and, as his title suggests, he is very much an intellectual. A serious, stony-faced young man, he commands himself with the utmost dignity and respect for authority, going as far as to salute first thing upon waking up in the morning. In his interactions with others he tends towards officialness, doing everything with a stiff and impersonal attitude. While he isn't the type to be rude, he will often be quite frank with the facts that he thinks people should be aware of. As an aside, Link's hobbies and interests include memorization, rules, and baking. Yes, baking. He's got a sweet tooth.
Sample Post:
My name is Inspector Howard Link. I am here on official business on behalf of the Central Administration of the Black Order. It has come to our attention that a number of our agents are being held here on suspicion of murder. We have reason to believe these accusations are false, so I have come to investigate. As this place is normally outside the jurisdiction of the Vatican, I would not find it surprising if you were not expecting the inquisition. Nobody expects the inquisition...if they have done nothing wrong.
And yet I see a welcoming party has been arranged. While I would thank you for the hospitality, it is clear that I must remain suspicious of your motives, as you have yet to display an air of trustworthiness or professionalism. For example, most would not consider a gorilla costume appropriate attire for meeting an official. I would ask you to please consider your next actions carefully. ...Yes, I am speaking of the actions you will take after the party. If you are worried that I will let your efforts in preparation go to waste, do not fear. For the moment I will stay, since it is only common courtesy for a guest to humor his host. However, keep in mind that I am not here to dress up or play games, I am here for business. This cake I baked was in anticipation of a cooperative working relationship and nothing else.
I said 'and nothing else'! It seems you are having some trouble grasping the concept of keeping a relationship professional. Wooing me will not make your position any less precarious. There are no rules of etiquette that describe your current courtship practices, and know that in making steps up as you go along you are likely to offend someone. Namely me. It would be in your interests to take a more neutral and efficient position. I believe I have made myself clear on this and I will resort to defensive measures if they're required. As your efforts have been firmly rebuked, please do not seek farther intimate relations with me.
--I must insist that you keep your appendages to yourself! Your attentions are unwelcome! If this polite refusal is not enough to dissuade you, rest assured of the fact that I am capable of taking a decidedly more violent tone. If this is what you were intending from the beginning then I will take my leave of this affair.
Please, I have no interest in your rack. Attempting to molest--and now to bribe--an official of Central is unacceptable. I refuse! There are plenty of racks available to me should I wish to bake. We will return to this matter in a more formal setting!
Poll Vote!
Character: Matthew Williams (Canada)
Series: Axis Powers Hetalia
Character Age: Appears 19!
Canon: You remember history class, right? Or at least the awesome naps you could sometimes get in that class? Axis Powers Hetalia is like history class, only better (but without the napping). Memorizing dates? Remembering who did what, when, and where? Pah. Pah, I say! Hetalia is all about the characters, in this case various countries represented in human form, as they reenact history. World wars, formation of countries, the rise and fall of entire empires, if it happened (and sometimes even if it didn't), it's fair game! And who can forget about the cast, either? England! France! America! Russia! Germany! Italy! The list goes on and on, full of heroic exploits and dastardly deeds. This app, however, is not about any of those countries. This app is about another country entirely: this app is about Canada.
I can already hear you asking "Wait, what?", and I am not surprised. Canada- better known as Matthew- isn't exactly the most noticeable of countries! This could be, in part, due to his louder brother, America, or it could be that he just doesn't have any particularly special traits. Despite this, though, he's still a very nice guy- he's friendly, gentle, and honest, although he can be kind of a spazz at times. It just so happens, though, that when you're nice and don't cause trouble, it's easy to be overlooked- Canada can be missing from important meetings, and have nobody notice until they're right about to start. Even the polar bear he carries around with him forgets who he is... constantly. Despite it all, though, Canada is not only cheerful and kind but also resolute and determined! He will accomplish the things he sets out to do ... unless he gets distracted by cute things. Or ignored.
Sample Post:
Excuse me! I'd like to ask if- wait, where are you going? I wasn't done talking... Sorry, excuse me, I was just asking you-uuu're a zombie. I guess that ... explains why you didn't understand me. Either that, or the fact that you're keeping your ears in your shirt pocket. I don't suppose there's any chance you're an elaborate prank? No? Okay! In that case I am going to just go ... this way. Or ... actually any direction that is relatively zombie-free. ... Which is apparently not the case here, either! T-there sure are a lot of you, aren't there. That's really quite alarming- oh no, I didn't mean to cause any offense or anything! I wasn't suggesting that the undead are any less human than living people, so feel free to just go back to your ... meeting, since that ... was... hey, is this an argument? There's no need to be so violent about it, you're not going to solve anything that way. Here, I have a minute, let me help out.
We can work this out together, okay? So if everyone could just calm down a little, we can look at this logically. First, ah- first, all parties involved need to put their eyeballs back in their heads. And- you, mister- Mister... Grawugh T. Peabody XVII? ... That's your name? Seriously? Uh, I mean- Okay! Um. I'm going to have to ask you to stop trying to stab people with your ribs- thank you. Now, Mister, er, Grawugh. Your problem is that your arm is gone, and you say the other zombies took it, right? And Mister... Blargh... claims that he inherited that extra arm from a kindly old aunt in the country. So ... do either of you have any proof that the arm is actually yours? I- yes, I can see the arm, yes, you're holding it. ... No, that doesn't necessarily mean you own it. Look, there's arms all over the ground here, why not just-
H-hey, if you guys keep this up this is never going to get resolved. Especially if you keep hitting each other with the arm in question! What if it falls apart? Then you're both going to be out of luck, and that arm doesn't look like it can take much more of that. If you keep waving it around, it'll snap in ha- it snapped in half. I-is there any chance you'd like this one I found? Any at all? It's still mostly intact! It has, uh ... two fingers and a thumb. That's a couple up on what you had before, right? No? I'm ... going to assume that ominous, angry gurgling means 'no'. Haha. Well, in that case, I guess I'll just keep moving, since it looks like you guys have that all sorted out...
Hey now, don't look at me like that! I know you must be upset, but I don't- I don't really think that taking it out on me is a good idea, you know? There are all sorts of constructive ways you can channel your anger at being completely without arms. Like, um ... knitting! I mean, er, no. How about curling?- what do you mean, 'what's curling'? You should know what curling is. Anyway, you could always take up figure skating ... or soccer ... or interpretive dance. See? There are all kinds of things you can do with just legs. Including-- hey, I see what you're trying to do! Don't use your leg as a weapon! Then that one will break, and sooner or later you won't even have a leg to stand on.
Poll Vote!
Character: Niou Masaharu
Series: The Prince Of Tennis
Age: 14
Canon: Dinosaurs! Energy blasts! Raging waves and exploding volcanoes! All this and more, in Prince of Tennis. A manga about - yes, you guessed it right, tennis!!!1 Join Echizen Ryoma and the rest of the Seigaku tennis club in an epic journey to win the Japanese National Tournament, and be completely blown away (literally) by the amazing tennis skills these schoolboys possess. But things aren't as easy as they seem, and Seigaku will have to face many rival schools whose tennis is as crazy and godmode-y as theirs. Including Rikkai Jr. High School,who having won the Nationals for two consecutive years is willing to go to any lengths in order to win one more time.
Niou Masaharu is a perfect example of the ruthlessness that characterizes this team. Nicknamed the "Trickster of the Courts," Niou is a clever bastard who rarely shows his true colors in order to remain a mystery to his opponents. This is why one of his most effective techniques consists in copying the 'aura' of any player in order to create a perfect illusion capable of deceiving anyone who sees it. He takes pride in the fact that both rivals and teammates alike find him scary, but at the same time he has a playful side who enjoys pulling all sorts of childish pranks on people - there's a reason he carries a toy gun and boxes with ~*mysterious contents*~ in his schoolbag, after all. Unpredictable, dangerous, and with a bit of an authority problem, Niou is the kind of person that you'd never want to provoke.
Note: Niou's catchphrase is "puri," an onomatopoeia that generally denotes annoyance.
Sample Post:
Well, well, isn't this place nice. I wonder if Vice-captain actually looked at the brochures before sending me to this disciplinary camp, 'cause they kinda took the "more fun than a barrel of monkeys" thing a little bit too literally. Not that I mind, of course! The big, angry, violent gorillas make for awesome target practice, 'specially since they don't have a tendency to fall apart like those guys over there. Note to self: Eyes're too small'n'squishy to actually be used as tennis balls.
They had it comin' to them, anyway. I don't give a damn if you people're part of the staff here or whatever, you just don't grab someone's bag and go through their stuff fishing for "incriminating material" to confiscate. I work with those things, alright? And stop insinuating I got someone's genitalia inside that box already! Just what do you think I am, some kinda deranged serial killer or something? Puri.
... Hooh? So we're all actual murder suspects here? Man, I feel all special now. One day you're paint-gunnin' your teammates, the next you're bein' accused of offing some crazy woman's fiancé. Smells like conspiracy theory, if you ask me. Especially since I heard the guy in question isn't really dead, y'know. Don't believe me? Here, take a look at this super special footage I managed to get my hands on. You wouldn't believe what the toucan mafia'll do for toy guns an' rubber bullets. Anyways, that there would be Mr. Stephan Debussey prancing around camp without a care. Hard to believe the mastermind behind this place fell for an idiot like this, huh?
Oh, but waiiiit, that's it! My ticket to get out of this hellhole, right there. Don't miss this, Camp, 'cause I'll be the one to Fuck Your Discipline. Witness, with my Illusion I'll make Miss Director an offer she won't be able to refuse~
My darling Elizabeth, my sweet swamp swallow! How long has it been since I last glanced into your beautiful eyes! Come now my love, let us frolick across the swampland; there's so many things we need to catch up on! And s
o many sights to see, too! Let me share this whole new world with you!
Aww, please, ma chérie. I promise not to poke the zombies this time!
Poll Vote!
Character: Yagyuu Hiroshi
Series: The Prince Of Tennis
Age: 14
Canon: Tennis players flying all the way to the aisles by the sheer force of a tennis ball? Someone losing all his senses because he's playing against the "Child of God"? Dinosaurs on the courts? Welcome to the magical world of Prince of Tennis! Join us as Seigaku Tennis Club ace Echizen Ryoma and his teammates win their way through the final showdown with main antagonist Rikkai Junior High School while making friends of their foes and, ultimately, reaching Tennis Enlightment.
Rikkai Jr. High Tennis Club members are required to follow one basic rule- that Losing Is Unacceptable. Diplomatic but proud team member Yagyuu Hiroshi, "The Gentleman of the Courts," firmly believes in doing a good deed a day. He is a member of the Ethics Committee, attends cram school on a regular basis, and his hobbies include reading mystery novels and solving puzzles. What a good boy, isn't he? However, being a model student does not keep him from doing whatever is necessary to achieve his goals. Even if this means purposefully mistranslating English to unsuspecting underclassmen and what seems to be his personal favorite: "switching roles" with other people, outfit and all wacky mannerisms included. It doesn't matter whether he's familiar with the other person or not; when assuming a role, he lets go of his gentlemanly persona in order to truly become someone else.
Sample Post:
Very well, Mr. Rrrngh, Mr. Graughh, I believe this argument has scaled to unnecessary levels of disrespect. I understand that times are difficult and finding acceptable sources of food can be rather complicated nowadays, but I trust that you are both civilized enough to comprehend that gnawing on each other's cranium is not only physically challenging but also completely pointless. After all, if what you want to eat are brains, wouldn't it be more practical to take them from each other's stomach cavities? If I'm not mistaken, it's not as if you can actually digest what you eat...
No, no, there is no need to thank me... Ah. I wasn't aware decaying tongues were used as a currency here, but I suppose that would explain the broken English everyone speaks. In any case, it would be unethical of me to accept something as... valuable as this in payment for mediating, since I was just doing my good deed for the day, so you can keep it... Although if you must insist in returning the favor, maybe you could explain a little more about the situation here instead?
... So that's how it is; I suspected as much. I happen to be quite knowledgeable when it comes to murder mysteries, so I'm very interested in the circumstances surrounding the tragedy that took place in this encampment. I don't mean to sound pretentious, but since I can't afford an extended stay here at this moment, I have already started an investigation based on my conjectures in order to solve the mystery and be on time for cram school... And now that you have confirmed my suppositions, I will let you know that in fact, all of the clues I've found so far (yes, the objects on that table over there with the blue pawprints on them) clearly point to our culprit. It was the butler in the inflatable bar with a pokeball!
... No, something here isn't right. Perhaps because there is more than one butler in camp? Hmm, if only I had access to all of the campers's and counselors's personal information... Surely a record book or something similar must exist somewhere in this place . . . Oh. Of course there is one. Why didn't I think of it before? Excuse me sir, would you mind lending me your coat for a few minutes? Yes, and that thing on your head-- your hat, too, if possible. You can wear my clothes in the meantime, I apologize if they're a little loose. And my glasses too, if you please-- ah, do try not to smudge them.
. . .
Now let's take a look at those records, kupo!
Poll Vote!
Character: Kurono Kurumu
Series: Rosario + Vampire
Age: about 16-17
Canon: Youkai Private High School is a special school for special people. Its student body is made up entirely of young monsters who're there to learn how to coexist and blend in with regular humans. Rosario + Vampire revolves around the adventures of Tsukune (a human student who enrolls at the school by mistake) and his friends in the school's newspaper club.
One of those clubmates is Kurono Kurumu, a young succubus. True to her heritage, Kurumu is a rather flirty, physical girl, prone to touchy-feeliness and extremely enthusiastic hugs. Most of her affection is directed at Tsukune, on whom she crushes. She's also something of a tease, in the "jokes at your expense" sense. While she can come off as a little flighty or selfish at times, when the chips are down, she's a deeply loyal friend who's more than willing to fight for the people who she cares about.
Oh, and she loves sweets, like a lot--to the point of eating poisoned cookies that she herself made because they just looked that delicious.
Sample Post:
Yaho~ This is Kurono Kurumu of the Youkai High Newspaper Club, on special assignment in America! I'm here to do a story on the lives of American monsters--a fascinating topic, I'm sure, and one that gets me out of my summer classes, so everyone's a winner here! I've just now arrived at what I understand to be a secret zombie commune, hidden deep in the American south. I wanted to start with the succubus community in Los Angeles, but nooooo. I'd better not miss a chance to interview Queen Angelina because of this! --Er, that is to say, I thank my hosts for graciously allowing me into their home! Let's get started, shall we? Here's my lucky first interviewee right now. Good morning, sir! I assume. I'm conducting interviews today; could I get your name? ...Oookay, I'll take that agonized, rattling wheeze as a request for anonymity. That's all good! Um, first question--what do you say to those who accuse the zombie people of being uncommunicative with the other monster races and okay your jaw just fell off so I'm gonna write "no comment," that sound good? Good. Next interview subject, please.
Okay, here's someone who looks a little more intact! Let's start with a fun one~ As a zombie, how do your tastes in the opposite sex run? Can you appreciate my dynamite sexiness, for instance? Yes, yes, feel free to take a closer look, I'll just hold my nose and--HEY! "My eyes fell into her cleavage" is supposed to be a figure of speech. Ew ew now I've gotta fish 'em out this'll teach me to not button all the way up! But, hey, I can take that as a favorable rating, right? Much appreciated~ So, moving on--who amongst your people do you admire most? ...Keith Richards? I knew it! Awesome, let's try one more. Name your...favorite food? Wait, is that seriously the question? Shouldn't that kinda obvi--no, admittedly, I didn't know that brains could be prepared in hundreds of different ways, or that Julia Child wrote a whole cookbook on them after she died! And what's that? You'd ask me to help make your favorite recipe, but it doesn't look like I brought very good ingredients? ...Oh, gee, thanks. I think we're done here.
Since it looks like some other kinds of monsters live here too, I think I'll try interviewing one of them--you know, for a sorta outside look on the zombies! Alternate perspectives, balanced reporting, all that good stuff! According to the writeup I got, there're "purple gorillas (badtouchy), a tentacle monster (super badtouchy), and psychic toucans (badtouchy, but only to your mind)." ...These are--these are not choices! I'm starting to see why the zombies keep to themselves, if these are the only guys who'll hang out with them. Huh. I came here to write a nice monster-interest piece, but I guess a shocking expose is fine too. Time to--wait, are those the toucans? ...Carrying baskets of cookies my way?! Is this...is this a payoff?
Well then, I think I just mysteriously misplaced my journalistic integrity. ♥
Poll Vote!
Also I don't think we ever said something and fgdfghkl it's been almost two months, so. THANK YOU to whoever it was that paid for the main comm. We who were unable to unfold threads before salute you.
Remember!
- Applicants, respond anonymously.
- If you're going to do the whole "ask me if I voted you out!" thing, please state who you voted out.
- No speculating about the identity of the applicants!
Now VOTE. Closed!
Character: Howard Link
Series: D.Gray-man
Age: 19
Canon: At it's most basic, D.Gray-man is about a contest of power-ups between the good guys and bad guys: the Exorcists of the Black Order and the Millennium Earl respectively. In the imaginary end-of-the-19th-century, the world is about to be consumed by darkness if the Exorcists aren't able to collect all the pieces of a mysterious ancient holy weapon called Innocence and gather an army strong enough the stop the Earl and his Akuma. However, gathering Innocence and finding people capable of using it takes a lot of resources. And saving the world, as it turns out, involves a lot of bureaucracy.
MILD SPOILERS AHEAD: Unfortunately, Allen Walker, the resident Jesus McGodmode of the Black Order, has recently gotten the attention of Central (the highest level of administration in the Order). Because Central suspects there's a connection between Allen and the Millennium Earl, Howard Link has been assigned to stalk and observe him. Day and night. Sleeping, waking, eating... there is nothing too insignificant about Allen for Link to notice... That's to be expected, seeing as he is a NINJA of the Vatican. He is part of an elite unit of assassins called "Crow" kept by Central. However, his official title is "Inspector Howard Link" and, as his title suggests, he is very much an intellectual. A serious, stony-faced young man, he commands himself with the utmost dignity and respect for authority, going as far as to salute first thing upon waking up in the morning. In his interactions with others he tends towards officialness, doing everything with a stiff and impersonal attitude. While he isn't the type to be rude, he will often be quite frank with the facts that he thinks people should be aware of. As an aside, Link's hobbies and interests include memorization, rules, and baking. Yes, baking. He's got a sweet tooth.
Sample Post:
My name is Inspector Howard Link. I am here on official business on behalf of the Central Administration of the Black Order. It has come to our attention that a number of our agents are being held here on suspicion of murder. We have reason to believe these accusations are false, so I have come to investigate. As this place is normally outside the jurisdiction of the Vatican, I would not find it surprising if you were not expecting the inquisition. Nobody expects the inquisition...if they have done nothing wrong.
And yet I see a welcoming party has been arranged. While I would thank you for the hospitality, it is clear that I must remain suspicious of your motives, as you have yet to display an air of trustworthiness or professionalism. For example, most would not consider a gorilla costume appropriate attire for meeting an official. I would ask you to please consider your next actions carefully. ...Yes, I am speaking of the actions you will take after the party. If you are worried that I will let your efforts in preparation go to waste, do not fear. For the moment I will stay, since it is only common courtesy for a guest to humor his host. However, keep in mind that I am not here to dress up or play games, I am here for business. This cake I baked was in anticipation of a cooperative working relationship and nothing else.
I said 'and nothing else'! It seems you are having some trouble grasping the concept of keeping a relationship professional. Wooing me will not make your position any less precarious. There are no rules of etiquette that describe your current courtship practices, and know that in making steps up as you go along you are likely to offend someone. Namely me. It would be in your interests to take a more neutral and efficient position. I believe I have made myself clear on this and I will resort to defensive measures if they're required. As your efforts have been firmly rebuked, please do not seek farther intimate relations with me.
--I must insist that you keep your appendages to yourself! Your attentions are unwelcome! If this polite refusal is not enough to dissuade you, rest assured of the fact that I am capable of taking a decidedly more violent tone. If this is what you were intending from the beginning then I will take my leave of this affair.
Please, I have no interest in your rack. Attempting to molest--and now to bribe--an official of Central is unacceptable. I refuse! There are plenty of racks available to me should I wish to bake. We will return to this matter in a more formal setting!
Poll Vote!
Character: Matthew Williams (Canada)
Series: Axis Powers Hetalia
Character Age: Appears 19!
Canon: You remember history class, right? Or at least the awesome naps you could sometimes get in that class? Axis Powers Hetalia is like history class, only better (but without the napping). Memorizing dates? Remembering who did what, when, and where? Pah. Pah, I say! Hetalia is all about the characters, in this case various countries represented in human form, as they reenact history. World wars, formation of countries, the rise and fall of entire empires, if it happened (and sometimes even if it didn't), it's fair game! And who can forget about the cast, either? England! France! America! Russia! Germany! Italy! The list goes on and on, full of heroic exploits and dastardly deeds. This app, however, is not about any of those countries. This app is about another country entirely: this app is about Canada.
I can already hear you asking "Wait, what?", and I am not surprised. Canada- better known as Matthew- isn't exactly the most noticeable of countries! This could be, in part, due to his louder brother, America, or it could be that he just doesn't have any particularly special traits. Despite this, though, he's still a very nice guy- he's friendly, gentle, and honest, although he can be kind of a spazz at times. It just so happens, though, that when you're nice and don't cause trouble, it's easy to be overlooked- Canada can be missing from important meetings, and have nobody notice until they're right about to start. Even the polar bear he carries around with him forgets who he is... constantly. Despite it all, though, Canada is not only cheerful and kind but also resolute and determined! He will accomplish the things he sets out to do ... unless he gets distracted by cute things. Or ignored.
Sample Post:
Excuse me! I'd like to ask if- wait, where are you going? I wasn't done talking... Sorry, excuse me, I was just asking you-uuu're a zombie. I guess that ... explains why you didn't understand me. Either that, or the fact that you're keeping your ears in your shirt pocket. I don't suppose there's any chance you're an elaborate prank? No? Okay! In that case I am going to just go ... this way. Or ... actually any direction that is relatively zombie-free. ... Which is apparently not the case here, either! T-there sure are a lot of you, aren't there. That's really quite alarming- oh no, I didn't mean to cause any offense or anything! I wasn't suggesting that the undead are any less human than living people, so feel free to just go back to your ... meeting, since that ... was... hey, is this an argument? There's no need to be so violent about it, you're not going to solve anything that way. Here, I have a minute, let me help out.
We can work this out together, okay? So if everyone could just calm down a little, we can look at this logically. First, ah- first, all parties involved need to put their eyeballs back in their heads. And- you, mister- Mister... Grawugh T. Peabody XVII? ... That's your name? Seriously? Uh, I mean- Okay! Um. I'm going to have to ask you to stop trying to stab people with your ribs- thank you. Now, Mister, er, Grawugh. Your problem is that your arm is gone, and you say the other zombies took it, right? And Mister... Blargh... claims that he inherited that extra arm from a kindly old aunt in the country. So ... do either of you have any proof that the arm is actually yours? I- yes, I can see the arm, yes, you're holding it. ... No, that doesn't necessarily mean you own it. Look, there's arms all over the ground here, why not just-
H-hey, if you guys keep this up this is never going to get resolved. Especially if you keep hitting each other with the arm in question! What if it falls apart? Then you're both going to be out of luck, and that arm doesn't look like it can take much more of that. If you keep waving it around, it'll snap in ha- it snapped in half. I-is there any chance you'd like this one I found? Any at all? It's still mostly intact! It has, uh ... two fingers and a thumb. That's a couple up on what you had before, right? No? I'm ... going to assume that ominous, angry gurgling means 'no'. Haha. Well, in that case, I guess I'll just keep moving, since it looks like you guys have that all sorted out...
Hey now, don't look at me like that! I know you must be upset, but I don't- I don't really think that taking it out on me is a good idea, you know? There are all sorts of constructive ways you can channel your anger at being completely without arms. Like, um ... knitting! I mean, er, no. How about curling?- what do you mean, 'what's curling'? You should know what curling is. Anyway, you could always take up figure skating ... or soccer ... or interpretive dance. See? There are all kinds of things you can do with just legs. Including-- hey, I see what you're trying to do! Don't use your leg as a weapon! Then that one will break, and sooner or later you won't even have a leg to stand on.
Poll Vote!
Character: Niou Masaharu
Series: The Prince Of Tennis
Age: 14
Canon: Dinosaurs! Energy blasts! Raging waves and exploding volcanoes! All this and more, in Prince of Tennis. A manga about - yes, you guessed it right, tennis!!!1 Join Echizen Ryoma and the rest of the Seigaku tennis club in an epic journey to win the Japanese National Tournament, and be completely blown away (literally) by the amazing tennis skills these schoolboys possess. But things aren't as easy as they seem, and Seigaku will have to face many rival schools whose tennis is as crazy and godmode-y as theirs. Including Rikkai Jr. High School,who having won the Nationals for two consecutive years is willing to go to any lengths in order to win one more time.
Niou Masaharu is a perfect example of the ruthlessness that characterizes this team. Nicknamed the "Trickster of the Courts," Niou is a clever bastard who rarely shows his true colors in order to remain a mystery to his opponents. This is why one of his most effective techniques consists in copying the 'aura' of any player in order to create a perfect illusion capable of deceiving anyone who sees it. He takes pride in the fact that both rivals and teammates alike find him scary, but at the same time he has a playful side who enjoys pulling all sorts of childish pranks on people - there's a reason he carries a toy gun and boxes with ~*mysterious contents*~ in his schoolbag, after all. Unpredictable, dangerous, and with a bit of an authority problem, Niou is the kind of person that you'd never want to provoke.
Note: Niou's catchphrase is "puri," an onomatopoeia that generally denotes annoyance.
Sample Post:
Well, well, isn't this place nice. I wonder if Vice-captain actually looked at the brochures before sending me to this disciplinary camp, 'cause they kinda took the "more fun than a barrel of monkeys" thing a little bit too literally. Not that I mind, of course! The big, angry, violent gorillas make for awesome target practice, 'specially since they don't have a tendency to fall apart like those guys over there. Note to self: Eyes're too small'n'squishy to actually be used as tennis balls.
They had it comin' to them, anyway. I don't give a damn if you people're part of the staff here or whatever, you just don't grab someone's bag and go through their stuff fishing for "incriminating material" to confiscate. I work with those things, alright? And stop insinuating I got someone's genitalia inside that box already! Just what do you think I am, some kinda deranged serial killer or something? Puri.
... Hooh? So we're all actual murder suspects here? Man, I feel all special now. One day you're paint-gunnin' your teammates, the next you're bein' accused of offing some crazy woman's fiancé. Smells like conspiracy theory, if you ask me. Especially since I heard the guy in question isn't really dead, y'know. Don't believe me? Here, take a look at this super special footage I managed to get my hands on. You wouldn't believe what the toucan mafia'll do for toy guns an' rubber bullets. Anyways, that there would be Mr. Stephan Debussey prancing around camp without a care. Hard to believe the mastermind behind this place fell for an idiot like this, huh?
Oh, but waiiiit, that's it! My ticket to get out of this hellhole, right there. Don't miss this, Camp, 'cause I'll be the one to Fuck Your Discipline. Witness, with my Illusion I'll make Miss Director an offer she won't be able to refuse~
My darling Elizabeth, my sweet swamp swallow! How long has it been since I last glanced into your beautiful eyes! Come now my love, let us frolick across the swampland; there's so many things we need to catch up on! And s
o many sights to see, too! Let me share this whole new world with you!
Aww, please, ma chérie. I promise not to poke the zombies this time!
Poll Vote!
Character: Yagyuu Hiroshi
Series: The Prince Of Tennis
Age: 14
Canon: Tennis players flying all the way to the aisles by the sheer force of a tennis ball? Someone losing all his senses because he's playing against the "Child of God"? Dinosaurs on the courts? Welcome to the magical world of Prince of Tennis! Join us as Seigaku Tennis Club ace Echizen Ryoma and his teammates win their way through the final showdown with main antagonist Rikkai Junior High School while making friends of their foes and, ultimately, reaching Tennis Enlightment.
Rikkai Jr. High Tennis Club members are required to follow one basic rule- that Losing Is Unacceptable. Diplomatic but proud team member Yagyuu Hiroshi, "The Gentleman of the Courts," firmly believes in doing a good deed a day. He is a member of the Ethics Committee, attends cram school on a regular basis, and his hobbies include reading mystery novels and solving puzzles. What a good boy, isn't he? However, being a model student does not keep him from doing whatever is necessary to achieve his goals. Even if this means purposefully mistranslating English to unsuspecting underclassmen and what seems to be his personal favorite: "switching roles" with other people, outfit and all wacky mannerisms included. It doesn't matter whether he's familiar with the other person or not; when assuming a role, he lets go of his gentlemanly persona in order to truly become someone else.
Sample Post:
Very well, Mr. Rrrngh, Mr. Graughh, I believe this argument has scaled to unnecessary levels of disrespect. I understand that times are difficult and finding acceptable sources of food can be rather complicated nowadays, but I trust that you are both civilized enough to comprehend that gnawing on each other's cranium is not only physically challenging but also completely pointless. After all, if what you want to eat are brains, wouldn't it be more practical to take them from each other's stomach cavities? If I'm not mistaken, it's not as if you can actually digest what you eat...
No, no, there is no need to thank me... Ah. I wasn't aware decaying tongues were used as a currency here, but I suppose that would explain the broken English everyone speaks. In any case, it would be unethical of me to accept something as... valuable as this in payment for mediating, since I was just doing my good deed for the day, so you can keep it... Although if you must insist in returning the favor, maybe you could explain a little more about the situation here instead?
... So that's how it is; I suspected as much. I happen to be quite knowledgeable when it comes to murder mysteries, so I'm very interested in the circumstances surrounding the tragedy that took place in this encampment. I don't mean to sound pretentious, but since I can't afford an extended stay here at this moment, I have already started an investigation based on my conjectures in order to solve the mystery and be on time for cram school... And now that you have confirmed my suppositions, I will let you know that in fact, all of the clues I've found so far (yes, the objects on that table over there with the blue pawprints on them) clearly point to our culprit. It was the butler in the inflatable bar with a pokeball!
... No, something here isn't right. Perhaps because there is more than one butler in camp? Hmm, if only I had access to all of the campers's and counselors's personal information... Surely a record book or something similar must exist somewhere in this place . . . Oh. Of course there is one. Why didn't I think of it before? Excuse me sir, would you mind lending me your coat for a few minutes? Yes, and that thing on your head-- your hat, too, if possible. You can wear my clothes in the meantime, I apologize if they're a little loose. And my glasses too, if you please-- ah, do try not to smudge them.
. . .
Now let's take a look at those records, kupo!
Poll Vote!
Character: Kurono Kurumu
Series: Rosario + Vampire
Age: about 16-17
Canon: Youkai Private High School is a special school for special people. Its student body is made up entirely of young monsters who're there to learn how to coexist and blend in with regular humans. Rosario + Vampire revolves around the adventures of Tsukune (a human student who enrolls at the school by mistake) and his friends in the school's newspaper club.
One of those clubmates is Kurono Kurumu, a young succubus. True to her heritage, Kurumu is a rather flirty, physical girl, prone to touchy-feeliness and extremely enthusiastic hugs. Most of her affection is directed at Tsukune, on whom she crushes. She's also something of a tease, in the "jokes at your expense" sense. While she can come off as a little flighty or selfish at times, when the chips are down, she's a deeply loyal friend who's more than willing to fight for the people who she cares about.
Oh, and she loves sweets, like a lot--to the point of eating poisoned cookies that she herself made because they just looked that delicious.
Sample Post:
Yaho~ This is Kurono Kurumu of the Youkai High Newspaper Club, on special assignment in America! I'm here to do a story on the lives of American monsters--a fascinating topic, I'm sure, and one that gets me out of my summer classes, so everyone's a winner here! I've just now arrived at what I understand to be a secret zombie commune, hidden deep in the American south. I wanted to start with the succubus community in Los Angeles, but nooooo. I'd better not miss a chance to interview Queen Angelina because of this! --Er, that is to say, I thank my hosts for graciously allowing me into their home! Let's get started, shall we? Here's my lucky first interviewee right now. Good morning, sir! I assume. I'm conducting interviews today; could I get your name? ...Oookay, I'll take that agonized, rattling wheeze as a request for anonymity. That's all good! Um, first question--what do you say to those who accuse the zombie people of being uncommunicative with the other monster races and okay your jaw just fell off so I'm gonna write "no comment," that sound good? Good. Next interview subject, please.
Okay, here's someone who looks a little more intact! Let's start with a fun one~ As a zombie, how do your tastes in the opposite sex run? Can you appreciate my dynamite sexiness, for instance? Yes, yes, feel free to take a closer look, I'll just hold my nose and--HEY! "My eyes fell into her cleavage" is supposed to be a figure of speech. Ew ew now I've gotta fish 'em out this'll teach me to not button all the way up! But, hey, I can take that as a favorable rating, right? Much appreciated~ So, moving on--who amongst your people do you admire most? ...Keith Richards? I knew it! Awesome, let's try one more. Name your...favorite food? Wait, is that seriously the question? Shouldn't that kinda obvi--no, admittedly, I didn't know that brains could be prepared in hundreds of different ways, or that Julia Child wrote a whole cookbook on them after she died! And what's that? You'd ask me to help make your favorite recipe, but it doesn't look like I brought very good ingredients? ...Oh, gee, thanks. I think we're done here.
Since it looks like some other kinds of monsters live here too, I think I'll try interviewing one of them--you know, for a sorta outside look on the zombies! Alternate perspectives, balanced reporting, all that good stuff! According to the writeup I got, there're "purple gorillas (badtouchy), a tentacle monster (super badtouchy), and psychic toucans (badtouchy, but only to your mind)." ...These are--these are not choices! I'm starting to see why the zombies keep to themselves, if these are the only guys who'll hang out with them. Huh. I came here to write a nice monster-interest piece, but I guess a shocking expose is fine too. Time to--wait, are those the toucans? ...Carrying baskets of cookies my way?! Is this...is this a payoff?
Well then, I think I just mysteriously misplaced my journalistic integrity. ♥
Poll Vote!