Surprise!

[daddyderpest]

[as the dorkiest vampire hunter approaches the library this fine evening, streamers suddenly fall from the sky and a sparkly banner unfurls proclaiming:

'CONGRATULATIONS KAIEN CROSS, OVER TWO CENTURIES OF LIFE AND STILL NOT A VAMPIRE!'

Come, interrupt his staring in horror]

Comments

[cureworsethan]

Were you trying?

[daddyderpest]

Was a I trying what?

[cureworsethan]

To be a vampire--or not to be one, maybe?

[daddyderpest]

I can safely say I've never wanted to be a vampire.

[unguilding]

That's really old!

[daddyderpest]

It's terribly old, uh, but I assure you I have no idea where that came from.

[unguilding]

You don't look that old at all.

Do you want to be a vampire, or something? There are some here, you know. Maybe you can ask one!

[daddyderpest]

I definitely do not want to be a vampire.

[skirtindanger]

... I suppose that's good news?

[daddyderpest]

Well, it could be worse.

[skirtindanger]

It's a strange thing to warrant a banner for, either way...

[daddyderpest]

Certainly. Ah, but I assure you I am completely normal and I don't know where this came from.

[futureinhand]

That's awkward.

[daddyderpest]

More than a little, yes. I suppose you didn't see this coming?

[futureinhand]

I'm sorry. Not early enough to stop the banner.

[daddyderpest]

It can't be helped. I can only hope Yuuki doesn't see it, unless all her friends see it, and then everyone will know but her, and, oh no, that's awful.

[crosshisheart]

... oh...

[I can sort of share your horror]

[daddyderpest]

[so awkward]

... ah. Hello.

[crosshisheart]

Hello!

[don't mind me, I'll just jump up like a ninja and try to bring down the banner]

[daddyderpest]

Do you think that will work?