(Untitled)

[bootycalled]

[a boy with a bandaged arm and hand is sitting next to a barn. Surrounded by guns. Guns and beer and a few extra packs of cigarettes

And garlic and crosses and stakes and...a giant plastic pumpkin full of candy]

Why are these Jolly Ranchers so hard to unwrap one-handed.

Comments

[thegoodlooks]

Well duh, you're not supposed to hurt yourself before you eat them.

[bootycalled]

Oh. Right. Why didn't I think of that.

Anything else, smartass?

[thegoodlooks]

Hello, anyone who's anyone can unwrap a Jolly Rancher with their tongue.

[bootycalled]

I don't know where these wrappers have been.

[wesssssssssssst]

[THERE IS SOMETHING

INSIDE YOUR PLASTIC PUMPKIN]

[bootycalled]

Kid.

[wesssssssssssst]

[swallows a caramel whole]

[bootycalled]

. . .that's disgusting.

[spankmyvampup]

*From the shadows*

You know garlic doesn't work on all of 'em, right?

[bootycalled]

Figures.

[spankmyvampup]

And you have to get close enough to use the stake.

[bootycalled]

I really rather not anyway. Fighting is a pain if its not paid work.

[vampsuckudry]

Well, aren't you prepared?

[bootycalled]

Except for the candy. My plan was ALMOST flawless.

[vampsuckudry]

What was your plan?

[bootycalled]

Not dying while drinking, smoking, and eating candy.

Also the candy will lure in Methuselah to help with the not dying.

[backupsavesyou]

[Frowning at the pile o' guns.]

...Do you need assistance?

[bootycalled]

Can you open this thing?

[backupsavesyou]

[. . .unwraps it and hands it back :|]

[bootycalled]

[noms candy]

Thanks man. Help yourself to. Whatever. I got enough of everything.