(Untitled)

[warpspace]

[TODAY there is a table! And sitting at that table is a happy pink robot with a sign floating over her head. it says:]

FREE FRIEND MAKING ADVICE!
FOR THOSE WHO HAVE:

A lack of friends

Difficulties making friends

A desire to make MORE friends
**SNACKS INCLUDED**[anyone who fits any of the the above descriptions may feel COMPELLED to come over

Comments

[halfcocked]

[IS JUST HERE FOR THE COOKIES, YEAH]

Mmmnnh fftuuhhh--

[warpspace]

Chew first! Then talk!

[halfcocked]

[makes a face at her, but swallows]

Eating these doesn't mean I have to listen to you, right?

[warpspace]

No! But it is supposed to be an incentive, kind of...

[halfcocked]

I don't want any more friends!

[warpspace]

Why not?

[halfcocked]

Uh . . .

. . . I don't need 'em?

[warpspace]

That's a silly thing to say! Everyone needs friends.

[halfcocked]

Oh yeah? What for? And it's not that I don't have any! I just don't need more!

[warpspace]

Good! Friends are people to talk to, and support you, and make you laugh... they're very important. You can always use more, though, I think.

[halfcocked]

I know what friends are, stupid! I didn't ask that! Most people are no good for that stuff. And I can laugh at anyone!

[warpspace]

You asked what for, so I thought going over some of the basics would be helpful. And that's not true at all! Most everyone could be a good friend if they tried.

[halfcocked]

Nope! Doesn't work that way! Even if they did try, which most people don't because they don't give a shit, they'd still suck if you didn't get along, or something went wrong, or whatever. Or they'd start sucking after awhile when they stopped caring or found someone better.

[warpspace]

...did all that happen to you?

[halfcocked]

What!? I didn't say that!

[warpspace]

Only someone who has gone through that can describe it in such a way!