(Untitled)

[mostly_armless]

[If you are down by the lake today, you might notice one small, adorable, fluffy-headed boy -- with two arms, even -- standing on the edge of the water, yelling. His shouts are punctuated by the heavy plop of thrown rocks breaking the normally calm, crystaline, radioactive surface of the lake

Comments

[finger_fucked]

[OH GOD IT HATCHED?!?!]

... do I know your dad?

[mostly_armless]

...my dad?

Maybe. I don't know him either. I live with uncle though, and he's pretty alright sometimes.

[finger_fucked]

Huh. Maybe I don't.

[mostly_armless]

Are you in the maf-yah, mister? Maybe you saw him there.

[finger_fucked]

Ummm. I've met the mafia.

[mostly_armless]

And you're still alive?

Woah...mister you must be really cool. [sorta leaning, trying to figure out where you are hiding your muscles]

[finger_fucked]

Not ... really. Uh. I got shot but it hit a book in my pocket over my heart, but it went through the book anyway. And then I was in the hospital.

Oh, and my finger got ripped off. That sucked.

[mostly_armless]

[grabs your hand] they ripped off your finger! Wow! Wild, really wild! Mister, what did you do? Were you trying to take their terror-tree?

[finger_fucked]

[just call me stumpy!]

I found a body.

[mostly_armless]

[still inspecting your finger, this involves jerking your hand around strangely]

you just found one? Like lying around? Just dead right there and everything?

[finger_fucked]

Uhhh. They drove a car off a cliff and I was there and the body was in the trunk and they saw me see them so when I got back to the hotel room, the body was waiting in my shower.

I peed on it.

Accidentally.

[mostly_armless]

oh oh, I know -- yeah, you're not supposed to see that! Uncle says, if anybody sees you! [makes vague but sort of violent gestures] or something, yeah!

So then, did you have to fight them? With the body? I bet it was heavy, mister! How did you lift it?

[finger_fucked]

... it's complicated.

[mostly_armless]

haha, but you're still here, mister! They took your finger but you're still alive! That means one day you can get revenge on them, you know! For your finger!

...do you have any cool moves, mister? Like -- [weak little punch GO] or something?

[finger_fucked]

Sorry, kid, but I pretty much just got by on dumb luck.

[mostly_armless]

...

but, mister, I know the guys in uncle's maf-yah and there's definitely no way you'd still be alive if you weren't really tough. I know it.