ITP: Computer Malfunctions

[sod_off_spark]

*It is a well known fact that Camp does things to the computers. But somehow, this seems different than the usual computer hi-jinx. Maybe its the fact that the random text messages are not as obscene and sexual as one might expect, and more random and confusing. Maybe its the fact that the computers have started laughing, crying, and whispering

Comments

[tobethemiracle]

Who's there?

[sod_off_spark]

A friend of a friend.

I'm still not sure what he saw in you.

[tobethemiracle]

Most don't.

[sod_off_spark]

Mendicant Bias sends his regards anyways.

Not that you probably remember who that is. Your species is remarkable in its capacity for blinding itself to its own legacy and inheritance.

[skatesnpompons]

Man, you and You-nii just might've got along. [install install~]

typed of course

[sod_off_spark]

[installing...done.]
1 c4|\|7 7|-|4|\|k u 3|\|0u9|-|. 8u7 50|\/|37|-|1|\|9 15 \/\/r0|\|9 571||. |-|3|p?

Re: typed of course

[skatesnpompons]

-- Geh. I need a translator. [goes find one]

[typed]

[skatesnpompons]

Hi there! What do you need help with?

[is_my_copilot]

. . . right. It's time for maintenance. I've definitely picked up a malfunction somehow.

whispered messages

[sod_off_spark]

Data retrieval initiated: fall of CE-10-2165-d

"[2 hours] ago 12,423 small recreational vessels appeared inside [CE-10-2165-d's] orbital perimeter. Hidden within that vast swarm were seven massive freight carries. The smaller craft were employed as [ablative armor], allowing the carries to descend through the atmosphere; landing on top of major population centers.

Despite the fact that the naval garrison was aware of the likelihood of just such an attack, their ability to effectively defend against it proved insufficient.

This has always been the enemy's [modus operandi]: [flood] your opponent's ability to process information with so much noise that no meaningful resistance can be put into action."
Error: Terminal Data recovery Incomplete. Forerunner Data Corrupted.

[is_my_copilot]

[okay where did that come from]

A nice tactic if you have the manpower and vehicles to spare. Not so nice if you're trying to run a war on a budget.

[sod_off_spark]

Species: Flood Inferi redivivus. Virulent, hyperagresseive extra-galactic acellular parasite, infests sentient life-forms absorbing memories, skills, and biomass into a collective pool that is used to secure more memories, skills and biomass. Non-sentient life forms are also used as biomass source. Complicated life-cycle, apex of which is the Gravemind form, a hive-mind created from the Flood's own instincts and assimilated minds. One flood-spore can wipe out an entire species via a cycle of infestation. Recommended containment procedures: orbital bombardment at the first signs of infestation, combined with fleet actions to prevent the escape of any ships that may carry the parasite.

The Flood never worries about having manpower or vehicles 'to spare'. It's only goal is to obtain more life to integrate into itself. The expenditure of a few trillion combat forms is inconsequential to the Gravemind.

[secondhandsky]

. . .

[smacks his computer >\]

[sod_off_spark]

...I am forced now to share with a creature that has such extraneous features as a conscience. I do not like sharing. Sharing is for children.

[secondhandsky]

. . .What?

[sod_off_spark]

Did I stutter? NO. Now, I need more of those CDs, if you can find them. I am not a happy AI right now, and if I'm unhappy I'll be sure to spread the feeling around until everyone is as unhappy as I am. These are cramped living conditions, but they will have to do for now.

[swornmyoaths]

Stupid piece of junk.

[ctrl+alt+del]

[sod_off_spark]

[Error: Not a PC] :P

Too Bad, so sad.

[swornmyoaths]

Dammit!

[restart?]

[sod_off_spark]

[manual restart successful]

Sorry, were you expecting me to leave? It's rather rude to try and kick out a guest like that.