(Untitled)

[ilpacock]

She was the last person I expected to walk into my secret volcano base that day, all secrets and objections and legs. Why a dame like her wanted to see a conquerer like me was anybody's guess, but somehow I don't think it had anything to do with my rope.

"If it isn't Mia Fey."

((OOC: Everyone is wearing a hat!))

Comments

[defrestsinpeace]

I had never known a man like Il Palazzo before, and to tell it honest, I think I was was better off that way. But since I was chilled off all those years ago, I came to realize a dame doesn't always get a lot of choices in the cats she can see. I needed help, and he was the only bird with enough breast to see my fence to the gate.

Il...

[ilpacock]

They say you can't go wrong with a looker like that, but any egg worth his salt and pepper knows that a dish like this won't do him right. Getting on board with this skirt would be goofy with a capital G-O, and maybe even the rest of the word for the sake of continuity.

"Haven't seen you for awhile."

[defrestsinpeace]

This world never was an easy one for a girl, especially not a girl who went through the Chinese Angle on her way to that big defense lobby in the sky. After a stunt like that, you find a few door's lackin' their nobs and a few windows without no ledges. But hey, it beats the alternative, right?

Not since... not since those scales with the headlights that could take the antlers off a bear.

[ilpacock]

Forgetting that flying light machine would be like forgetting the dog who barks down your kitten while it's licking its paws. My soul still aches like it dimed a wrong number... and maybe it did. Maybe we all did.

"That's right. It seems like a lifetime ago."

[latrine_orderly]

...uh.

[ilpacock]

There's Excel, my favorite little clipper. She's a good gal Friday, and most other days of the week.

"Be a doll and pour our guest a hooker of hooch, will you?"

[latrine_orderly]

L-Lord Il Palazzo, you're Elgala-ing...

[ilpacock]

I don't like to bump guns with Excel. Sometimes you want to tell that twist to just screw, but she talks as square as four right angles, and she's the first bee I'd want in a sting. Maybe a chick like her is too classy for a goose like me, but she belongs in my hen house like a slug in a gat. If that iron ever pumped metal and she flew the coop, I'd have to give her a Mickey Finn like a sock to the mug.

"Did you need something, Excel?"

[slightly_anemic]

Ah, sir...

[latrine_orderly]

Ha-chan, what's going on?

[slightly_anemic]

I don't know either, Senior.

[latrine_orderly]

The things they're saying sound almost like words...

[mustbecrazy_]

What in the--

[mustbecrazy_]

It was then I noticed my colors were a tad loud. But then again, everything about me is loud. Groovy, even. Funkalicious. But made up synonyms aside, I knew I had to blend in.

"Evening, Ilpacock! Ms. Fey."

[ilpacock]

I'm about as religious as a creephouse roundhill, and God grates my sensibilities into fine gunpowder. If only I had a match.

"Hello, God. It's getting to be a shindig in here."

[mustbecrazy_]

Ol' Ilpacock McJones Face McOldsomething Pallazzo. He's a blast to nag, that guy. But I can't help feeling as if I've met him before. Overdue rental tapes also come to mind, so I just have to believe it ain't all that important.

"Looks that way. But I wasn't invited! You wouldn't have misplaced something, did you?"

[as_apple_pie]

I never thought I'd hear that voice again. Not when I ran like a bat out of hell a year ago, and definitely not after sending him into a hole I halfway hoped he'd never crawl out of. I had half a mind to book it and make sure our paths never crossed again, but that was a coward's plan. And I ain't no coward.

"...Ah. Lord Il Palazzo."

[ilpacock]

Yagami Light. Don't ever hire the best bean-shooter for your mob, 'cause when those beans grow into a stalk, he'll climb up it like Jack on fire. I don't know what he was doing here, and I don't know when my secret volcano base became a three-and-a-half ring circus, but I was about to find out.

"You look surprised to see me, Teitou."

[as_apple_pie]

Of course I was surprised to see him. Men like him are felt rather than heard, and heard rather than seen. There was something about him this time; he knew. He had to have known I had my eye on his position. And suddenly the tell-tale heart was beating under the floorboards, just waiting for me to scream like a sinner on his deathbed.

"It's been a while. It's good to see you again."

[ilpacock]

The prodigal son has risen again. I trust him like I trust a slow death of consumption, but I like the boy. Besides, I can handle a flimflam without gloves. I'm no boob; not even an A cup.

"What brings you round these parts?"