[setting: Camp Fuck You Die, the Cabin O' Love. An innocent, unsuspecting green-clad ninja strolls cheerfully into the building, whistling a happy tune. the cheerful little song cuts off abruptly as he walks into his bedroom
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I don't know where they came from or why anyone would want to steal them and I'm sure you have very nice undergarments but I would have no use for them -- I mean they wouldn't even fit me!
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You seem honestly flustered about this.
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I don't think wearing them is the point of this sort of activity.
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[nope, not following]
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*well, this is awkward*
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The thrill of the chase?
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