waaaay too many things on my mind
i think in the past 24 hours i've gone through every emotion possible.
i'm excited about the trip to New Mexico and Colorado (which i leave for tonight)
i'm nervous that i'm packing too much.
i'm fearing the 2 day car ride, now that i'm realizing how long it really is.
i'm worried that my friend isnt going to feel well enough to come on the trip...because i really want her there.
i'm pissed off, and depressed at the same time that my ex refers to her new boyfriend the same way she used to refer to me (main ex. "the most amazing boyfriend ever"). what does this mean to me? it means that those words didnt mean a damn thing to her, that i'm not anymore special than any guy she ever has or ever will date. basically...i don't mean shit. good feeling :/
( on a side note, the ex i'm talking about doesnt read this...like i'd have the balls to do something like that)
mostly....i just really need to get the fuck away for a while, so i am still happy about the trip....and i'm hoping to take some more trips this summer.
i really want to get my own place...something close to school, if i had my choice, a 2 bedroom with one other person (i have the money...just need to find someone to live with that has it as well). but yea...i suddenly have a very strong urge to move out (ok...it's not so sudden, i've wanted to since the fall...but it's just a bit more urgent now for some reason).
...wow, this is the first semi-real entry i've made in a long damn time.
i'm excited about the trip to New Mexico and Colorado (which i leave for tonight)
i'm nervous that i'm packing too much.
i'm fearing the 2 day car ride, now that i'm realizing how long it really is.
i'm worried that my friend isnt going to feel well enough to come on the trip...because i really want her there.
i'm pissed off, and depressed at the same time that my ex refers to her new boyfriend the same way she used to refer to me (main ex. "the most amazing boyfriend ever"). what does this mean to me? it means that those words didnt mean a damn thing to her, that i'm not anymore special than any guy she ever has or ever will date. basically...i don't mean shit. good feeling :/
( on a side note, the ex i'm talking about doesnt read this...like i'd have the balls to do something like that)
mostly....i just really need to get the fuck away for a while, so i am still happy about the trip....and i'm hoping to take some more trips this summer.
i really want to get my own place...something close to school, if i had my choice, a 2 bedroom with one other person (i have the money...just need to find someone to live with that has it as well). but yea...i suddenly have a very strong urge to move out (ok...it's not so sudden, i've wanted to since the fall...but it's just a bit more urgent now for some reason).
...wow, this is the first semi-real entry i've made in a long damn time.