Open Letter to As Yet Unowned Beagle
Dear As Yet Unowned Beagle:
Of course I am here pining for the day that I own you. But do you care?
Sure, I will be cheating on Hunny. Sure, I will be cheating on pit bulls everywhere, whom I always passionately assert is my favorite dog. But the facts are the facts, I want a fat beagle, and I want a fat beagle now.
Some friends of mine have a fat yellow and white beagle. Bodine. He ran away from home, crossed bustling 19th Avenue and ran into a Smart and Final store as though looking for discounts on buying Newman's Italian Dressing in bulk. They got to take him home. Now you are busy taking long naps with overly large ears, and stealing chocolate chip cookies from the coffee table while other people are talking.
Need I say that you are my kind of dog?
Much Love,
Your Future Spoiling, Bad Habit Inducing Owner
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Yesterday, I learned that everyone I work with thinks I am Mexican?
Mark's cousin who works here was floored. She had planned to invite me to join the Hispanic Leadership Institute. I told her, in a firm tone, not only am I not Hispanic, but I am hardly a leader. Unless by leader you mean loner-slacker who wastes taxpayer time penning open letters to brown and white fat beagles. Apparently, that is not what she meant by leader.
I am about as regular white girl as you can get. Born in Western PA. Daughter of ancestors who originated in Switzerland, and a mother who uses Old El Paso brand enchilada sauce when making 'enchilada casserole.' If that doesn't say it all right there.
And don't forget, my mom's record collection when I was growing up included Bob Seger. Yes. Can't get much more Anglo than that.
I do think it would be cool to be of some ethnicity other than Regular White Girl. Like, for example, I've always thought it would be nice to be a) Peruvian b) Sephardic Jew, or c) Morrocan. There is something very romantic and adventurous about all of those. But I want to be all of those, and yet still be from Western PA. Ah, there's the rub.
Well, one thing is certain. I'm not Mexican, but I am clearly insane.
yours,
nikki