Just When You Thought It Was Safe to Go Back to the Theatre
Well hello everybody, long time no see. It's been a while since I've last inflicted some dodgy crack!fic on you, hasn't it? Time to remedy that. The musical madness is back, with a vengeance.
Band of Brothers: The Musical! is brought to you by teh_annah's plot bunny and copius amounts of enabling from alouette_sparra and randomposting.
And I have once again proven that nothing is sacred by using "Macavity" from Cats for this installment. Got the song? Listen along. It makes the surreality that much more entertaining.
And now, on with the show...
Band of Brothers: The Musical!
Act One, Scene Nineteen
Setting: somewhere outside Carentan
(song begins to the tune of “Macavity” from Cats)
(EASY COMPANY is marching)
(PERCONTE, LUZ, and HOOBLER move to the foreground)
PERCONTE
Hey listen, Luz, I was wondering
How far do we have to go?
LUZ
Until we’re told that we can stop
Jesus Christ, Frank, I don’t know.
HOOBLER
We’re heading up towards high ground.
PERCONTE
Okay, genius, answer this
Why is it that every time
Easy gets the highest risk?
(incoming German machine gun fire and mortars)
WELSH (spoken)
Contact right! Get in the hedgerow!
(EASY COMPANY takes cover)
PERCONTE
The enemy, the enemy
Is always left up to Easy.
And I don’t know how it’s possible
But we’re the only company
Who’s at the front of an advance
Or exposed at the edge of the line
Because we’re never in the middle
Even though we’re fifth of nine.
HOOBLER
See, I think you’re just complaining
Because this keeps us on our toes.
LUZ
And as much as I hate to say this now
He’s got a point, you know?
PERCONTE
Our CO has got ginger hair
He's very tall and thin
You’d never know it when you saw him
But he’s a battle hellion.
LUZ
What the hell does Winters have
To do with any of this?
PERCONTE
What if Sobel was still in charge?
It would be one big mess.
HOOBLER
Oh come on, Frank, I think that you
Are making too big a fuss
’Cause we’re here to fight the Germans
So let’s kill them before they kill us.
EASY COMPANY
The enemy, the enemy
Is always left up to Easy.
And we don’t know how it’s possible
But we’re the only company
Who’s at the front of an advance
Or exposed at the edge of the line
Because we’re never in the middle
Even though we’re fifth of nine.
(night falls)
(EASY COMPANY is dug in along the hedgerows)
(MARTIN and BLITHE sit in a trench)
MARTIN
Now what the hell could those Jerries
Possibly have to sing about?
(BLITHE shrugs)
(WELSH jumps into the trench)
MARTIN
And what the hell, Sir, don’t you know that
Whole Flash/Thunder thing?
So what’s the news, Lieutenant?
WELSH
It’s all the same as before
They’re in their hedgerow
And we’re here in ours.
MARTIN
Well spell me a minute, Sir?
‘Cause my back teeth are floating.
WELSH
So make it fast so Blithe can sleep
You hurry back here, Martin.
(MARTIN dashes off)
EASY COMPANY
The enemy, the enemy
Is always left up to Easy.
And we don’t know how it’s possible
But we’re the only company
Who’s at the front of an advance
Or exposed at the far edge of the line
Because we’re never in the middle
Even if we’re fifth of nine.
WELSH
So how’re you doing, Blithe?
BLITHE
I was blind but now I can see.
(WELSH offers BLITHE his canteen)
WELSH
Don’t forget basic
Dehydration’s an enemy.
(BLITHE takes a sip of WELSH’s canteen and makes a face)
WELSH
You know all of this is just a game
We move the ball one yard at a time
It’s a crazy situation
So just focus on the line.
(WINTERS enters)
WINTERS (spoken)
Harry, I need a word with you.
WELSH (spoken)
Sure thing.
(WELSH hops out of the trench, leaving BLITHE alone)
(WINTERS and WELSH exit)
EASY COMPANY
The enemy, the enemy
Is always left up to Easy.
And we don’t know how it’s possible
But we’re the only company
Who’s at the front of an advance
Or exposed at the far edge of the line
Because we’re never in the middle
Even if we’re fifth of nine.
But when there is a battle then the enemy
The enemy
The enemy
The enemy
When there is a battle we face the enemy every time.
Already on the Playbill:
Act One, Scene One - CO of Easy
Act One, Scene Two - Commanding Officer Song
Act One, Scene Three - Sergeant of Easy Company
Act One, Scene Four - It’s Normandy
Act One, Scene Five - Do You See the Drop Zone?
Act One, Scene Six - Out Tonight
Act One, Scene Seven - I Can’t Believe You’re From Oregon
Act One, Scene Eight - The Ballad of Lieutenant Speirs
Act One, Scene Nine - We’re Taking Brecourt
Act One, Scene Ten - At Your Side O’er the World
Act One, Scene Eleven - Staring at the Sky
Act One, Scene Twelve - We’re Showing Off
Act One, Scene Thirteen - We Just Lost F Company
Act One, Scene Fourteen - Edelweiss
Act One, Scene Fifteen - Heads Down
Act One, Scene Sixteen - I Have Gone Blind
Act One, Scene Seventeen - A Company Called Easy
Act One, Scene Eighteen - Easy Song
Band of Brothers: The Musical! is brought to you by teh_annah's plot bunny and copius amounts of enabling from alouette_sparra and randomposting.
And I have once again proven that nothing is sacred by using "Macavity" from Cats for this installment. Got the song? Listen along. It makes the surreality that much more entertaining.
And now, on with the show...
Band of Brothers: The Musical!
Act One, Scene Nineteen
Setting: somewhere outside Carentan
(song begins to the tune of “Macavity” from Cats)
(EASY COMPANY is marching)
(PERCONTE, LUZ, and HOOBLER move to the foreground)
PERCONTE
Hey listen, Luz, I was wondering
How far do we have to go?
LUZ
Until we’re told that we can stop
Jesus Christ, Frank, I don’t know.
HOOBLER
We’re heading up towards high ground.
PERCONTE
Okay, genius, answer this
Why is it that every time
Easy gets the highest risk?
(incoming German machine gun fire and mortars)
WELSH (spoken)
Contact right! Get in the hedgerow!
(EASY COMPANY takes cover)
PERCONTE
The enemy, the enemy
Is always left up to Easy.
And I don’t know how it’s possible
But we’re the only company
Who’s at the front of an advance
Or exposed at the edge of the line
Because we’re never in the middle
Even though we’re fifth of nine.
HOOBLER
See, I think you’re just complaining
Because this keeps us on our toes.
LUZ
And as much as I hate to say this now
He’s got a point, you know?
PERCONTE
Our CO has got ginger hair
He's very tall and thin
You’d never know it when you saw him
But he’s a battle hellion.
LUZ
What the hell does Winters have
To do with any of this?
PERCONTE
What if Sobel was still in charge?
It would be one big mess.
HOOBLER
Oh come on, Frank, I think that you
Are making too big a fuss
’Cause we’re here to fight the Germans
So let’s kill them before they kill us.
EASY COMPANY
The enemy, the enemy
Is always left up to Easy.
And we don’t know how it’s possible
But we’re the only company
Who’s at the front of an advance
Or exposed at the edge of the line
Because we’re never in the middle
Even though we’re fifth of nine.
(night falls)
(EASY COMPANY is dug in along the hedgerows)
(MARTIN and BLITHE sit in a trench)
MARTIN
Now what the hell could those Jerries
Possibly have to sing about?
(BLITHE shrugs)
(WELSH jumps into the trench)
MARTIN
And what the hell, Sir, don’t you know that
Whole Flash/Thunder thing?
So what’s the news, Lieutenant?
WELSH
It’s all the same as before
They’re in their hedgerow
And we’re here in ours.
MARTIN
Well spell me a minute, Sir?
‘Cause my back teeth are floating.
WELSH
So make it fast so Blithe can sleep
You hurry back here, Martin.
(MARTIN dashes off)
EASY COMPANY
The enemy, the enemy
Is always left up to Easy.
And we don’t know how it’s possible
But we’re the only company
Who’s at the front of an advance
Or exposed at the far edge of the line
Because we’re never in the middle
Even if we’re fifth of nine.
WELSH
So how’re you doing, Blithe?
BLITHE
I was blind but now I can see.
(WELSH offers BLITHE his canteen)
WELSH
Don’t forget basic
Dehydration’s an enemy.
(BLITHE takes a sip of WELSH’s canteen and makes a face)
WELSH
You know all of this is just a game
We move the ball one yard at a time
It’s a crazy situation
So just focus on the line.
(WINTERS enters)
WINTERS (spoken)
Harry, I need a word with you.
WELSH (spoken)
Sure thing.
(WELSH hops out of the trench, leaving BLITHE alone)
(WINTERS and WELSH exit)
EASY COMPANY
The enemy, the enemy
Is always left up to Easy.
And we don’t know how it’s possible
But we’re the only company
Who’s at the front of an advance
Or exposed at the far edge of the line
Because we’re never in the middle
Even if we’re fifth of nine.
But when there is a battle then the enemy
The enemy
The enemy
The enemy
When there is a battle we face the enemy every time.
Already on the Playbill:
Act One, Scene One - CO of Easy
Act One, Scene Two - Commanding Officer Song
Act One, Scene Three - Sergeant of Easy Company
Act One, Scene Four - It’s Normandy
Act One, Scene Five - Do You See the Drop Zone?
Act One, Scene Six - Out Tonight
Act One, Scene Seven - I Can’t Believe You’re From Oregon
Act One, Scene Eight - The Ballad of Lieutenant Speirs
Act One, Scene Nine - We’re Taking Brecourt
Act One, Scene Ten - At Your Side O’er the World
Act One, Scene Eleven - Staring at the Sky
Act One, Scene Twelve - We’re Showing Off
Act One, Scene Thirteen - We Just Lost F Company
Act One, Scene Fourteen - Edelweiss
Act One, Scene Fifteen - Heads Down
Act One, Scene Sixteen - I Have Gone Blind
Act One, Scene Seventeen - A Company Called Easy
Act One, Scene Eighteen - Easy Song