Thoughts, ramblings
I guess one of the main sticking points for me, in EVERYTHING he's said so far, would have to be that whole "dedication and worship to the goddess is primary" thing. I mean, REALLY? "Tribulation brings enlightenment, we must suffer to progress, blah blah blah." Thing is, though, things have been FAR too easy for me, comparatively, since joining in this thing. I come, I snark, I get to watch some good shows, get to have people be impressed by the STUPIDEST fucking shit I can pull out, and everyone is content to just leave me alone.
Not just internally, either. I go to gatherings, I sit, I chat on autopilot while plotting out new potting schedules or street locations or positions and locations I've yet to try. The pretty priest Prince using me as a convenient place to rest his eyes when he has something he feels must be said to the entire room, and I'm off thinking about the blond I ate earlier and just how empty her mind really WAS.
The anonymity of sub-developments is a beautiful thing, really. If you have no children, are relatively quiet, and don't take up the entire street with guests, you will NEVER see one of your neighbors up close. Lovely, really it's nearly as convenient as being in a real city, except that I get to have a yard to do things in. Fences, too... I wonder how well my garden would be received without the fence. No, I much prefer it to just be me, my plants, and the moonlight. I might share them with someone else, sometime. They did seem to take very well to... what did I name him? I know it started with a letter of some sort... Hum. I'm sorry I've forgotten you, but you certainly did make the poppies more cheery and red.
Oh! Right, focus, that's what I was trying to get to. I seem to be lacking that of late. A driving direction, a purpose, some reason why I don't just sit at home and read, and occasionally go out for a bite to eat. Something other than the ease of thinking with background noise, and the occasional circle bellydancer. I know there's an answer to that. I just can't put my finger on it, and I'm just so BORED with the talks so far "remember where we came from", "embrace the man instead of the beast", "Remembering the human parts of ourselves is the key to success." The booze is just not worth this and the perks are just not as shiny as they used to be.