The Breakup PREVIEW. :]
Finally, it’s over. We’re over.
Don’t get me wrong. It’s not like I wished for it to happen. I love Ryutaro, I really do. But these past few days, I feel like it’s just not working out for the two of us. He’s been to busy with all those JUMP Concerts that he’s always tired and ill-tempered. Whenever he’s in school, I feel like he’s throwing all his bad feelings at me and so, we always end up arguing. At first, I really tried to understand him but then, everything seemed too much and I just exploded.
It happened last Friday at school, during lunch time. We were alone at the rooftop. Just as I was taking out my bento, I realized he wasn’t carrying any food.
“You’re not eating AGAIN?” I asked.
“I’m not hungry,” Ryutaro simply answered.
“Here, try eating this…” I insisted, handing him a piece of rice ball.
“I said I’m not hungry.” His eyebrows furrowed. I noticed his expression and so I pulled back my hand.
“Fine. Suit yourself.” I said. I then started eating my bento.
We stayed silent for a while as we sat on the bench. He was watching the sky with a gloomy expression. I continued eating my lunch without disturbing him.
“Kanon…” Ryutaro suddenly spoke. I didn’t notice that he already stood up.
“Hai?”
“I’m going ahead of you, ok? Lots of things to do…”
I put down my bento on my lap.
“Can’t you wait for me?” I asked sulkily.
“Kanon, you know I’m busy with work and I need to catch up with all the lessons I─”
“I know that…I’m just asking if you can─”
“No you don’t understand. If you really do, you won’t be asking me that question,” Ryutaro answered firmly.
I decided to argue. “But I was just─”
“Don’t tell me you’ve been through this before because S/mileage is not like Hey Say Jump!” Ryutaro almost shouted. “Tell me, does S/mileage ever have continuous concerts?”
“No but─”
“Does S/mileage ever have to roam around the country?”
“No but─”
“Do you ever have to─?”
“OKAY, WE’RE NOT AS POPULAR AS YOU GUYS!” I finally shouted. I was so mad at him, I clenched my fists. “But I don’t understand why you have to involve our group!”
Ryutaro was stunned. It was probably because he never saw me lost control like that before. He wasn’t able to answer. And because of that, I got even angrier for some reason.
Tears of rage started streaking out of my eyes.
I began arranging my packed lunch inside the bag and carried it again on my shoulder.
“You know what MORIMOTO-KUN?” I emphasized his surname because really, I never called him that. I usually addressed him as Ryu-kun or Yu-chan. It was necessary because calling him by his name means that we’re close and I have some power over him because I am his girlfriend. But I suppose, since I’m doing this, I’m already letting go of that hold. “You changed. You changed a lot. You’re not the Ryutaro Morimoto I love anymore. And if it’s going to be like this any further, let’s just breakup, okay? I give up.”
I didn’t look at his expression. I walked towards the rooftop door, hoping that by some chance, he would stop me or at least say anything to me. But as I expected, since he was not at all the expressive type, he didn’t. And that was really the reason why I started crying. I felt like he didn’t really love me at all that’s why it’s so easy for him to let go.
That was what happened last Friday.
Since then, he never even tried to contact me at all. I’ve waited for him to call, to apologize, but he didn’t. And because tomorrow is Monday which means it’s school day, I’m wondering what will I do if I see him. Should I just act like nothing happened or should I be the first one to bring the subject up? THIS IS SO UNNERVING! Please God, let me be sick tomorrow!
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