Money Can Buy You Love. And Glitter. Chapter 50.1
Summary: AU set approximately three years after Adam Lambert won Season 8 of American Idol. He has a successful career but after a string of failed relationships, has more or less given up on romance and is focusing on his career to the point of being a workaholic. He still has trouble with inappropriate appearances of the glambulge during performance and still loves glitter. Kris Allen is a singer/guitarist from Arkansas who moved to LA nearly two years ago to try and break into the business and get away from a small town and family life that became uncomfortable after he came out of the closet. He's just about ready to give up hope of making it into the business. He's still wearing plaid.
Rating: This chapter is PG-13.
Ship:: Adam/Kris
Story chapters:
Chapter 1: Meet cute in coffee shop Chapter 2: Car trouble Chapter 3: Geocaching? Chapter 4: Dinner and a picture
Chapter 5: Bring your boyfriend to work day Chapter 6: Date at the museum
Chapter 7: Opening the door Chapter 8: Showing the cracks Chapter 9: Cracked eggs, cracked plaster, cracked plans Chapter 10: Hunger games Chapter 11: Inspired, tested, and almost-dazzled Chapter 12: Define slutty for me
Chapter 13: Decisions, decisions Chapter 14: Of moms and meat Chapter 15: Holding on Chapter 16: Coming clean
Chapter 17: Dusty disguises and dodging the issue Chapter 18: Punked and paint
Chapter 19: This glitter is not meant for internal use Chapter 20: Home improvement
Chapter 21.1: Sharp edges and sweet tongues Chapter 21.2: Sharp edges and sweet tongues SECOND HALF
Chapter 22.1: Holding close and laying out Chapter 22.2: Holding close and laying out SECOND HALF
Chapter 23.1: Messes and make up Chapter 23.2: Messes and make up SECOND HALF
Chapter 24: Taken Chapter 25: Stuffing Chapter 25.2: Stuffing CONTINUED
Chapter 26.1: Feeling full Chapter 26.2: Second entry Chapter 27: Winning Chapter 28: Thirty-eight cents
Chapter 29: When you walked in the joint Chapter 30.1: I could tell you were a man of distinction Chapter 30.2: A real big spender Chapter 30.3: Good looking, so refined Chapter 31: Spend a little time with me
Chapter 32.1: Spend a lotta time with me Chapter 32.2: Chapter 32.3 Chapter 32.4 Chapter 32.5
Chapter 33: Well, I can do the mashed potato. Well, I can do the twist Chapter 34: Leashes, collars and cuffs! Oh my! Chapter 35: On the carpet, off the script, on the table Chapter 36.1: Consequences, unintended and otherwise
Chapter 36.2: Consequences cont'd Chapter 37: Turkey baster bukkake Chapter 38: Ball juggling Chapter 39: The minor fall, the major lift Chapter 40.1: Walking the Shar-Peis of life Chapter 40.2: Walking the Shar-Peis of life part 2 Chapter 41: Is this the real life? Chapter 42: Baggage handling Chapter 43: Tying ends up Chapter 44: Whack a Mole Chapter 45.1: The Sweetest Chance Is... Chapter 45.2: The Second Chance. Chapter 46: Diving In. and is here: Chapter 47.1: Pyro Chapter 47.2: Pyro Chapter 47.3: Pyro Chapter 48.1: If mama ain't happy Chapter 48.2 Chapter 48.3 Chapter 49: "going home is the deepest wish of most refugees."
Due to length, I divided this chapter in half. First half. Prepare for angst.
Chapter 50.1: "You can't go home again." -- Tom Wolfe
The silence stretched out as Neil and Adam stared at each other, neither man willing to give an inch. Adam wasn't going to ask to be admitted and Neil wasn't going to let him in until he asked.
"I hafta potty!" Emmaline announced, wiggling in Adam's arms. "Now!"
"Oh!" Neil stepped back and gestured inside. "Well, I guess, come in." He stopped. Kris'... lover -- all in black -- and his granddaughter -- all in pink -- were in his home? Unbelievable. He stared, looking from the tall man to the small girl.
"If you don't mind, Mr. Allen, she's just been potty-trained and I don't think we should wait."
Emmaline whined, "Where's the potty?"
"This way." Neil led down the hall and opened a door.
"Thanks." Adam nodded and stepped inside the small blue half-bath with Emmaline, closing the door in Neil's shocked face. He was an evil man, he thought, who enjoyed that far too much. Thankfully, he didn't believe in hell. Or hadn't until he flew into Arkansas.
"Can do it myself!" Emmaline pointed at the door. "I'm a big girl. With big girl panties. 'Member? Gamweiwa gave me Dora panties. You need to go."
"Okay, okay, missy. Let me know if you need help." Adam smiled as he left the room. He froze as he nearly walked into Neil Allen standing in the hallway right where he'd left him. "Relax, if you please. We're not going to ransack your home or leave gay cooties everywhere."
"She... sounds like Kris at that age. Always wanting to do everything himself. He had a stubborn streak," Neil blurted out. "It's... been a long time since there's been a little one at home."
"Maybe because you haven't invited Kris back here." Adam crossed his arms and stared down.
Whoa. Opening shot across the bow taken by the enemy. Neil looked up and damn it, of course, the guy had to be taller than he was. He squared his shoulders. "Did Kris send you to fight his battles? Typical. Just what I'd expect from a gay."
"Really? And yet here I am. A gay man ready to handle conflict. What a puzzle for you," Adam snarked. "A total cognitive dissonance moment. I thought us gays were all wimps who didn't know how to fight for fear of breaking a fingernail." He held up his hand and wiggled his silver-grey painted fingernails. Too bad he hadn't had time to change it over to that purple glitter polish. Neil Allen might've stroked out. Which would be a bad thing, why?
"Humph. And yet you're here."
"Not to fight Kris' battles for him."
"No? That's what it looks like to me."
Avoiding wincing as he belatedly realized that -- oh shit -- Kris might have the same idea, Adam shook his head. "No. I'm here to decide if it's worth punching you in the nose the way I've always wanted to." Adam smiled slowly, then frowned and tapped his own temple. "And then it occurred to me that Kim might not appreciate that, so I brought Emmaline along because her presence will encourage me to control my urge to punch you." And to see if Neil Allen could resist her, because if so, the cause was lost and Kris could just leave quickly before he got any more hurt by this jerkface.
"I suppose you want me to censor my words to Kris? Because I'm not going to. It's my home and I'll say what I want."
"Actually, no, I don't. I want you to be yourself so Kris has a realistic idea of what he's dealing with. I don't believe in sugarcoating the truth. It eventually gets very messy."
"Dadum! I need help washing my hands. Pwease?" Emmaline called out. "There's no stool in here."
"Okay, okay." Adam opened the door, turned on the spigot and lifted Emmaline up with one arm. "There's no stool because they weren't expecting us."
"Why not? Uncakiss is here, so we be here too." Emmaline smiled at her father in the mirror as he pumped soap for her. Oooh goody, foamy soap. She slapped her hands together, giggling as the soap flew upward and dotted her father's face with foam. She kept giggling as he wiped his face and she washed her hands.
"Excellent point. Make sure you remind Uncakiss of that when you see him."
"After I kiss him."
"After I kiss him!" Adam teased and handed Emmaline a blue hand towel.
"Why you always first?" Emmaline pouted.
"Because I knew him first."
Emmaline sighed loudly.
"You are a first class sigher."
"Do what you good at. Mama tells me that. I good at sighing, so I do it."
"Makes sense."
"Mama always make sense. Not like you and Uncakiss. You two silly."
"Are we silly?" Adam smiled as he noted that she had actually said the l in like and silly. His little girl was growing up.
"Yes. Why we in here? That's silly. I saw pictures of Uncakiss out there. We should look."
"We should!" Adam agreed. He picked Emmaline up and carried her out to the hall. Turning to Neil, Adam asked, "May we look at the pictures? Emmaline is apparently fascinated by them."
"I... of course." Neil nodded, the manners his mother had long ago drilled into him rising to the surface. "Would she... like a drink? A Coke?"
"A Coke!" Emmaline clapped her hands. Coke was a special treat.
"No. Thank you." Adam shook his head.
"She can have a Coke..." Neil offered. Damn it, if he was going to have a granddaughter, he could spoil her.
"She'll get hyper. You don't want that. Really." Adam forced a smile to his lips. Neil was trying to be a decent host and his mother would kill him if he weren't a decent guest. "Water or milk, my girl."
"Water. Pwease and thank you!" Emmaline nodded. "After the pictures. Wait--" She pointed. "Grammy Kim!"
Neil smiled. "Yes, that's your Grammy Kim with Kris at a band concert."
"And this one? Why UncaKiss dressed up like a wittle king?"
"Oh shitake mushrooms! That's the Little Mr. Little Rock picture!" Adam laughed and put Emmaline down to pull out his phone. "Blackmail material in perpetuity..." He chuckled as he took a picture.
Emmaline looked around and then asked, "Why you have pictures of Uncakiss here?"
"Because this was Kris' home," Neil explained.
Emmaline stared at Neil for a long time, then shook her head. "No. Uncakiss is home with us. Where is he?"
“We really should get back to home,” Kim suggested again, giving Cale a kick under the table.
“Yeah. You uh.. don’t you need to get cooking for dinner, Miz Allen?” Cale suggested.
“You can go on, Mama. I’ll just hang out here with Cale.” Kris leaned back in the booth and crossed his arms. Nope, not going anywhere. Adam could just handle himself. The domineering, bossy, aggravating...
“I...uh... should get back home. Before my mama shows Lane more of my baby pictures.” Cale nodded. “Yup, should go--”
“That’s fine. I’ll sit here. Order another Coke. Watch people go by...” Kris gestured toward the street. “Not a problem. Nosirreebob, not a problem if I just sit right here for a while.” And contemplate how I'm going to kill him.
“Kristopher. Are you bein’ stubborn?” Kim asked.
“Yup.” Kris nodded.
“Mebbe you oughta just go and have the fight and get it over with?” Cale shrugged when Kris glared at him. “C’mon, dude. I know you have this tendency to avoid... What? You do!” Cale defended himself against Kris’ indignant look.
“You do,” Kim agreed.
“So now y'all are ganging up on me too?” Kris pushed himself back into the corner of the booth. "I'm real tired of people tellin' me what to do. Real tired."
“Well..." Cale held up his hands. "I’m just thinkin’ that mebbe Adam’s so pushy because you keep retreatin?”
“That sounds like somethin’ Lane would say,” Kris accused.
“You know, I do have thoughts of my own,” Cale argued. “And eyes to see. And a brain to make judgment calls. And many years of experience bein' your friend. You don’t like Adam bein’ so pushy, then push back. I’ve seen you do it -- after all, the guy calls you hedgehog, doesn’t he? So push back now.”
“Well, well, if it isn’t Mr. Bossypants!” Kris smirked at Adam’s chagrined expression as he stood, shoving his hands into his pockets -- and wow, that was realllllly weird seeing Adam in what used to be his home's living rom. Well, it still was the living room, but it wasn’t home any more. He’d realized that last night when his father acted like he was Typhoid Mary. He hugged Emmaline tighter.
“It’s Dadum.” Emmaline looked confused. She put her hand on Kris’ cheek and pushed it so that he was looking straight at Adam. “See? Dadum. Not Mr. Bossypants. Who that?”
"Sometimes I call Dadum that.” Kris smiled down at Emmaline. “Like he calls me hedgheog.”
“Oh.” Emmaline nodded. “Dadum calls me monkey girl.”
“Exactly.”
“So...” Emmaline pointed at Adam’s jeans. “Dadum’s jeans are bossy?”
“There’s lots of bossiness going around.”
“Aunt Waney’s here?” Emmaline asked.
Kris laughed. The child made good connections. “Yes, she is. She’s coming to dinner.”
“That’s true!" Kim held her hands out for her granddaughter, smiling when the little girl launched herself into her arms. "I have a lot of cooking to do. Emmaline, would you like to come with Grammy Kim into the kitchen?”
“Is he coming too?” Emmaline snuggled into her grandmother's arms and looked at Neil curiously. He had acted all tight around Dadum, but was okay with her. He'd offered her a Coke. "Coke?"
“Yes.” Neil nodded and smiled. The little girl was adorable. And astonishingly well-behaved for being raised in Los Angeles in some unnatural set up with two perverted guys and one girl and not a marriage amongst them. Well, he couldn't blame on the child for her parents' moral failures. At least she was wearing pink, a proper girl's color. “Or we probably have a cookie for you in the kitchen.”
“Can I?” Emmaline asked Kris.
“It’s may I?”
Emmaline sighed. “May I have a cookie, Uncakiss?”
“Yes, you may. But no Coke. Milk or water.”
Kim looked at Kris. “And you and Adam may go upstairs to your old room or out back in the yard to have the discussion I believe is imminent.”
Bang!
Kris slammed the door to his old bedroom closed and glared as Adam sat down on the twin bed and waited.
"Well, go ahead." Adam nodded. He'd rather get the shit over with. "Yell at me."
"I cannot beeeeeelieve you came out here -- what am I saying?" Kris slapped his forehead. "I don't know why I'm surprised. I really don't. Why did I think you'd let me do this on my own?"
"But--"
“I wasn’t even gone a full day. You couldn't give me a full day on my own?”
“But--”
"You're the biggest control freak I've ever met! I mean, seriously, dude!"
"But--"
"Or is that you don't think I can handle this? I bet it is! No wonder my father doesn't think much of me. Neither do you!"
"Okay, that's unfair!" Adam snapped. "Totally unfair. I think everything of you. There is no one who has a better opinion of you than me. It's really unfair of you to imply otherwise. You're just projecting your own insecurity and fear and lack of faith onto me! "
Kris gaped, then muttered, "Low blow, Lambert."
“I’m sorry.” Adam apologized. He almost added that what he'd said was true, if hurtful, then decided he should shut his damn mouth because it was just getting him into trouble. He might be a chatterbox, but he’d like to think that every once in a while he knew when to shut up.
Tilting his head and examining Adam’s face, Kris hid a smile. Damn it, he couldn’t really stay angry at Adam for too long, although he wasn’t done yet. But right now, Adam looked like he was in physical pain and it was no doubt from keeping his lips pressed so firmly together. “You deserve it, you know.”
“What? You yelling at me?” Adam held his hands up. “Go ahead. Keep going. I’m just now realizing I screwed up.”
“Dani didn’t...” Kris shook his head. “Let me guess, she tried. So did your mom. But you and Lane fed on each other. Are you two just that bossy or do you think I can’t handle it on my own?”
"I’m not going to speak for Lane. I’m already in enough trouble with you. Let me... Just...Okay. Here's the deal. I know you can handle this on your own. But why should you if you have people who love you who are willing to help?"
"Because I want to do this on my own! I need to!"
"But why?"
"Can't you just accept... Again. What am I saying? You can't just accept anything!"
"I accepted that you wanted to come out here to deal with your father. I didn't get it. I don't really get it still. People like that don't change, so I think it's foolish. But I accepted your choice."
"Not really. You came out here. To interfere."
"No. To support."
"Pfft." Kris snorted. "Were you planning this all along? Is that why you eventually stopped arguing with me -- because you had a Plan B?"
"No. It was an impulse after the phone call last night --"
"An impulse to insert yourself into my life?" Kris scoffed. "You always do that. It's not an impulse, it's a pattern."
"That’s so unfair!” Adam shook his head. “Do I push you into quitting the bar to spend more time on your music? Do I push you to take those gigs you got offered with Cale? Did I push you to go on tour as my bassist?” When Kris opened his mouth, Adam sighed. “Okay, maybe I did push that last one. But it made sense! Geoffrey and Hannah agreed with me and they wouldn't if it didn't make sense. And you like touring with me! And lord knows I like having you on tour because c'mon, how much would it suck if you didn't? But aside from that -- when I was right and when it was about us, mind you -- I don't push. That hard.”
“You really think you hold back, don’t you?” Kris realized. “You think you’re... patient and give me lots of space.”
“I do! I am.”
"No. You. Don't!" Kris began pacing. "I cannot beeeeeelieve you and..."
As Kris paced and ranted, Adam looked down and began picking at his nail polish. He -- Oh hell, was he too pushy? Was he going to push Kris away? Oh hell. He swallowed hard and when Kris finally paused for a breath, he inserted, “I try. I do. Besides! Oh and you don't tell me what you think about my choices? You don't talk to Lane about how I need to cut back on my schedule?"
"Well, okay, I do, but I don't actually interfere..." Kris trailed off as he noted Adam picking at his polish. Oh. Adam was actually really nervous. He was probably afraid Kris was going to leave him -- that old insecurity coming back. As if. Oh and... oh! That was probably one reason Adam had hurried out, he was afraid Kris might stay here. Totally irrational, but then fear was irrational. He knew it too. He sat down on the foot of the bed and saw relief flicker through Adam's eyes.
"Well? What were you going to say?" Adam demanded.
"God, you're in the wrong and you're still trying to be bossy! It's your default."
Adam gaped at Kris. "And this is coming as a surprise to you?"
"No, you're right about that. You have always been bossy."
"And you've seemed to like it." Adam frowned and picked at his nails. Had Kris been pretending or trying to please but not really liking it? "You... I thought you like it."
"For sex, yeah!"
"C'mon, be honest. You like my bossiness in general, don't you?" Adam pressed. "Tell me, please. I need to know."
"Okay, I do," Kris admitted reluctantly. His father would probably think less of him for liking Adam's bossiness, but it was true. He just didn't need to tell his father about it. And maybe he needed to rethink this dynamic because it had gotten out of hand. Maybe Cale was right and Adam had gotten more pushy because Kris had gotten more and more easy going. Or maybe Adam was just so stressed he was trying to get control wherever he could. He'd have to think about it. Yup, rethink it...Starting now, because really, this incident was pushing it. "Well mostly. But sometimes... you gotta know when to lay the fuck off. I think... I really think you need to leave me be sometimes. Or else, Adam, damn it..."
"Oh." Adam bit his lip and picked at his polish some more, saying nothing as he thought, his mind racing furiously as he tried to solve the problem. The problem he'd caused. That might result in him being kicked out. "Moderation is not my strong suit. But I can try harder because ... maybe I pushed too far this time?"
"That's what I'm sayin'!" Kris slapped the bed. He looked down. Adam must be really distracted because he hadn't made one comment about the plaid bedspread he was sitting upon. "You did push too far. Dial it back!"
"Oh. I.. I am sorry. I screwed up. I'm sorry. My bossiness got the better of me." Adam looked up and asked tentatively, "Or maybe it was just being overprotective. That's better, right?"
Kris stared at Adam's contrite face and looked away or he'd give in and smile when he needed to be tough. Besides Adam’s bossiness might be a benefit, long-term. He leaned way forward and poked Adam in the shoulder. "Okay. I know you meant well. But it seems to me that it's okay for you to interfere, then it should be okay for me to do the same!"
Adam opened his mouth, then nodded. It would only be fair. It would kill him, but better than Kris killing him. Or leaving him. Plus, it was fair. He sighed and admitted, "Actually, you're right."
"I am? Of course, I am. I'm right. So this means I've earned a Get Out of Jail Free card for one major interference in your life?"
"Yeah..." Adam sulked. He looked down. Dear gods and goddesses. He was sitting on a plaid bedspread. Could this day get any worse?
"Ha!" Kris crowed triumphantly. He already knew what he was going to do.
"What look is that?" Adam asked suspiciously.
"Forgetaboutit," Kris hurried to say. "Back to the point. You. Here. With my father. How did it go before we got here?"
"When Emmaline was in the bathroom, he started to say shit. When she came out, he was... polite. Because of Emmaline. He kept staring at her. I think he was shocked to see the little girl that could've been his granddaughter. Who was without horns and wearing the pinkest dress in her wardrobe. I'm pretty sure I would've been standing outside when you got here otherwise."
Kris sighed and forced his fists to uncurl. "So he kept it polite when Emmaline was around? He's probably gonna try something when she's not in the room or in hearing distance. My mother really would kick him out if he said shit in front of the granddaughter." Kris paused. When Adam nodded, Kris continued, "Here's the deal. When he says shit about me, you will let me handle it. You will not interfere in any conversations with him about me."
"But--"
"But NOTHING!" Kris poked Adam again. "If you're truly here just to support me, then it will be silent support." Kris grinned at the look of horror on Adam's face. "I know it will kill you to keep your mouth shut, but that's what you're gonna do."
Adam flopped back on the bed. "I will die."
"Good. You deserve to die."
"You're awfully mean here in Arkansas. I don't think I like it here." Sitting up and reaching his hand out, Adam tickled his fingertips along Kris' thigh. "Make me like it more, please?"
"Nope. Too fucking bad." Kris turned his back on Adam. Adam needed to suck up a little more.
"What do you want me to do?" Adam slid his fingers up under Kris' shirt, gently rubbing little circles on the warm skin of his abdomen, relieved when Kris didn't push him away. "I could give you a really quick blowjob, if you want."
"Hmm..." Kris thought, then shook his head. "Nah. I couldn't enjoy it with our daughter and my parents downstairs. That's creepy."
"True." Adam crawled up behind Kris and began kissing his neck while talking. "We could just make out for a while. Kisses are always good and you turned your head when you came into the house and we didn't get a little hello kiss, so I think we should make up for that."
Kris hissed in a breath and moved away. He was going to give in if Adam kept kissing his neck like that. "You'd get just as much out of that as I would."
"Oh, so it's a punishment then? Given that your mother is probably making chitlins and those hideous greens..." Adam shuddered and picked at his pinky nail. Kris had moved away. Not a good sign. "I think I'm being punished enough."
"Ha!" Kris pulled his laughter back in. He wasn't going to forgive Adam this quickly. "Not even. What would..." He turned around, shoving at Adam, who obliged him by falling back on the bed, all splayed out. Oh shit. He looked totally fuckable and... down, go down, Mr. Happy. The parents were downstairs. How could he punish Adam... Who was looking ridiculously hot even in his version of being dressed down with jeans and tee-shirt... "Ha! I know. You're in Arkansas. You should wear a Razorbacks sweatshirt--"
"No way!" Adam sat up in a flash. Kris and Cale wore those ugly sweatshirts when they watched football. Hideous. An affront to eyes everywhere. "Dirty pool."
"Oh, unlike you showing up outta the blue on my parents' doorsteps when you were supposed to let me handle my relationship with them?"
"Oh." Adam started picking at his nail polish again. "I meant well..." he muttered.
"So, what could I do to get it through your head..." Kris grinned. "Plaid! With snap pockets!"
"Okay, this is cruel and unusual punishment!" Adam groaned, then smiled in relief. "Wait. We're not gonna have time to go to the fleet of the farm or whatever that store is. So, ha!"
"No problemo!" Kris laughed.
"That was a really evil laugh." Adam swallowed. Kris looked way too pleased with himself.
"Remember how when we met you were mocking how loose my clothes were?"
"Yesss... Or rather, no. I wasn't mocking. I was... teasing." Adam stared at Kris, who was practically vibrating with glee. "You're an evil little man. I never knew it before, but you are--"
"You've never pissed me off this much before."
"Oh." Adam slumped and traced his chipped fingernails along the blue line in the plaid bedspread. He'd had guys dump him before for being too bossy. He was his own worst enemy. "Okay, do your worst."
"Well. I sometimes wore my clothes even looser back when I was here and I don't think my father threw out all my clothes on that horrible night. Soooo...." Kris jumped off the bed and hurried over to the closet. Flinging the door open, he laughed. "Ha! Here are a couple of my old plaid shirts. They just might fit and--" He stopped when he heard choked sounds coming from the direction of the bed. "What?"
"That." Adam pointed towards the back of the door. "Oh no. Oh no. Don't.. No. Just no."
"What?" Kris looked, then burst out laughing. Oh god, that felt good. He felt his stress evaporate at the look of sheer horror on Adam's face and laughed again, feeling his entire spine relax and the knot in his stomach uncurl. Damn it, that had been just what he needed. "Oh, damn, I totally forgot. I had your Rolling Stone poster on the back of my door."
"I... would've thought your father would've ripped that down..." Adam stared at the poster, wishing it would just go away. He managed to forget that Kris had once been a fan for months at a time and now this? This...real, live, in-person, full-color confirmation? He might have to die.
"He did. After my mom and I reconciled, she felt bad and got a new one and put it up there." Kris sighed loudly. "It's not the same as the original of course."
"What difference is there?"
"Well, that original one might have had some...fingerprints on it. Or you know..."
"No, I don't and I don't want to know--"
"Stains." Kris rocked back and forth on his heels. "Because I was awfully fond of that poster. Awfully fond. You remember how I was a fan? I was a big fan." He trailed his fingertips down the open placket of poster Adam's shirt and then circled the butterfly below the waist. "A really big fan of this belt too..."
"Stop it, please," Adam pleaded as Kris' fingers ohmigodkillme touched poster Adam's crotch.
"Really big fan. I wish they'd made that poster into bedsheets. I could've had you under me in the bed, which would have made what I did with that poster way easier..."
"Kill me now. If there is a god out there..." Adam looked out the window. "Then prove it by killing me now."
"Yup. I used to look at that poster while..." Kris made pumping motions at his crotch and used his other hand to point at the bed Adam was sitting on. "Lying on that bed and--"
"Oh god no!" Adam jumped up and stared as Kris poked around his closet. Why oh why had he tempted the fates by asking if the day could get any worse? He was doomed.
"Why are you wearing plaid? Cheap plaid?" Lane asked, her eyebrows raising as she took in the sight of Adam wearing some cheesy plaid shirt about five sizes too small over one of his designer tee-shirts. Talk about cognitive dissonance. "Did some unfortunate accident happen to your real clothes?"
"This is Kris' version of making me sit on the naughty stool." Adam flicked his fingers at the plastic snap on the pocket placket of the plaid shirt. Which was too small. Great. Ugly and tight. He felt fat and unfashionable for his first dinner in Kris' parents' house. Just lovely. He wouldn't have a snowball's chance in hell of getting Kris into a better mood looking like this.
"Why? What did you do?"
"You know the saying that half of life is showing up?"
"Yes."
"Well, half of the reason I'm wearing plaid is that I showed up."
"And the other half?"
"Kris Allen is an evil little man who hates me." Adam nodded in the direction of Kris, who was talking with his mother. "He's probably going to kill me and have an open casket funeral with me wearing this shirt."
"Get a grip. He doesn't hate you." Lane rolled her eyes. Adam was being a bit overdramatic. "But how mad is he? Cale said he seemed rather peevish about our presence."
"Yeah, that's British understatement." Adam sucked his upper lip inside his lower lip.
"Adam?" Lane whispered as she looked from his mouth to his eyes and down to his nails. Oh hell, his polish was badly chipped. She hadn't seen it that chipped since the time Emmaline caught a stomach flu and was in the hospital with IVs attached to her little body. "What's the matter?"
"I thought... I thought he was going to dump me, Lane," Adam confided. "It's happened before, you know. I'm too bossy and push people away."
"No, no. You're being paranoid and leaping to conclusions," Lane said instantly, clamping her hand on Adam's arm and squeezing tightly. "Kris wouldn't dump you over this."
"It's not just this. He said I'm too bossy in general."
"But you've always been bossy. What's changed?"
"I don't know. I guess I crossed some invisible line."
Seeing the real distress in Adam's eyes as clearly as she saw Kris' constant looks towards Adam -- looks that showed affectionate annoyance and not real anger, although that might have been there too earlier -- Lane relaxed. Adam did have a history of being paranoid and a worry wart. "Listen. You are a forever couple. You two have a life together. Perhaps you need to make some adjustments, but it will work out. You two just had a fight. That's all. Couples fight. Regroup. Work on it. Go on. It's okay."
"I'm in plaid. It's not okay." Adam forced himself to smile, reminding himself that he trained to be an actor and still did it on occasion. Apparently, this was one of those occasions so he could damn well smile on command. "But another truth is that tonight isn't about me or even our relationship. It's about Kris dealing with his father. So we should be focusing on ways to make this easier for him and... I did it again." He groaned. "I'm trying to help solve his problems and I'm not supposed to interfere."
"It's going to prove rather difficult not to interfere when his father's up to what I perceive to be his usual tricks," Lane observed, watching Neil Allen closely. He had that smug look that reminded her of... Ugh. Danny Gokey.
"And the real trick is that I'm not supposed to say anything. I had to promise I wouldn't say anything if Allen said crap to Kris."
"Are you serious?" Lane asked in shock. Adam being silent when Neil Allen tried homophobic ranting at Adam's beloved Kris? Adam would explode or chip his nails to pieces. When Adam nodded, Lane shrugged. "Well, he didn't make me promise."
Starting to smile, Adam swore under his breath as he came to a realization. Now shaking his head instead, he disagreed. "No, Lane. Kris would be furious. I think we need to let Kris handle this on his own."
"Is this some bloody stupid notion about proving his masculinity?" Lane asked, watching Kris' body language as he stood glaring at his father.
"So what are you doing for an actual living these days?" Neil asked, making sure his wife was no where within ear shot. "Or do you get paid for just bein' available for the rock star over there? In other words, how well does it pay to be a whore in Hollywood these days?"
TBC here ----> Chapter 50.2: "You can't go home again." -- Tom Wolfe