Is this my beautiful life?
I haven’t posted in a while but I have been thinking about what I need to put down. This seems as good a time as any since everyone else in my house is sleeping but me… which seems… silly somehow.
Lately I have been awash with contentment, which is beautiful but odd. I am not naturally inclined twards it so being here is surprising. Lovely indeed, but surprising none the less.
I blame the current honeymoon state my little family is in. Max continues to be an amazing partner who also brings fun, intellectual stimulation and romance in our marriage. He is a great father to our girl and I love watching them together. Kerena continues to be a bewildering bundle of amazement and joy. Not that she is easy exactly (see previous grumble about lack of sleep) but she is defiantly one (of two) of the greatest loves of my life. Neither Max or I get up and go to a job we hate, in fact while we both feel challenged sometimes we both really love our chosen vocations. Having lived a life in a career that I didn’t love (and often like it was slowly killing me) the difference is astounding. Our home is small but comfortable and adequate, we have everything we need and a whole lot more. I get to spend whole days taking care of my family, Loving and being loved if you will and I must say, it feels glorious.
Everyone once in a while I when I have a reflective moment I think, “What? Is this really my life now?” I guess I imagined I would be off chasing the next big adventure in some far off land, indefinitely. And so if this didn’t Feel So Good I would think it would be boring (Ok, I’ll admit it has it’s dull moments. You try emptying the dishwasher for the second time in a day or sitting still to pump for 20 min.) But rather than Bored I feel Content and slightly in awe of the fact that I feel that way. I am well aware that this cannot last forever. I need new challenges and I will need to find ways to continue to grow as a whole person. For now, flexing the Wife and Mother muscle is really Great.
On a different note… I think we may be moving again. This is both good and bad. We may be moving to house and we won’t even have to remodel it when we get there which sounds great, but the thought of moving right now just makes me tired. More on that later… maybe.
Lately I have been awash with contentment, which is beautiful but odd. I am not naturally inclined twards it so being here is surprising. Lovely indeed, but surprising none the less.
I blame the current honeymoon state my little family is in. Max continues to be an amazing partner who also brings fun, intellectual stimulation and romance in our marriage. He is a great father to our girl and I love watching them together. Kerena continues to be a bewildering bundle of amazement and joy. Not that she is easy exactly (see previous grumble about lack of sleep) but she is defiantly one (of two) of the greatest loves of my life. Neither Max or I get up and go to a job we hate, in fact while we both feel challenged sometimes we both really love our chosen vocations. Having lived a life in a career that I didn’t love (and often like it was slowly killing me) the difference is astounding. Our home is small but comfortable and adequate, we have everything we need and a whole lot more. I get to spend whole days taking care of my family, Loving and being loved if you will and I must say, it feels glorious.
Everyone once in a while I when I have a reflective moment I think, “What? Is this really my life now?” I guess I imagined I would be off chasing the next big adventure in some far off land, indefinitely. And so if this didn’t Feel So Good I would think it would be boring (Ok, I’ll admit it has it’s dull moments. You try emptying the dishwasher for the second time in a day or sitting still to pump for 20 min.) But rather than Bored I feel Content and slightly in awe of the fact that I feel that way. I am well aware that this cannot last forever. I need new challenges and I will need to find ways to continue to grow as a whole person. For now, flexing the Wife and Mother muscle is really Great.
On a different note… I think we may be moving again. This is both good and bad. We may be moving to house and we won’t even have to remodel it when we get there which sounds great, but the thought of moving right now just makes me tired. More on that later… maybe.