Title: Stay With Me
Characters: Edward/Bella
Words: 2794
Authors note: Made as a challenge to the community
part_of_him to these lyrics:
I saw you standing in the corner
On the edge of a burning light
I saw you standing in the corner
Come to me again in the cold, cold night
You make me feel a little older
Like a full grown woman might
But when you're gone I grow colder
In the cold, cold night
It's set during New Moon, so spoilers for that one, I guess.
Also, thanks to
angeldylan628 for betaing this for me!
Summary: On a cold, cold night, Edward has decided to revisit his love, Bella, who gladly takes him back in her arms again. Told in Bella's POV.
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters, books, lyrics that are used in this oneshot!
Stay With Me
I awoke abruptly, startled by the storm that was whirling with incredible force outside my window, and by the nightmare that was drowning away in the noise. I shuddered and shook my head, willing the last remnants of the dream to disappear, locking it in my subconscious and hoping that it would never find its way to the surface again.
As I shook my head, I saw a slight movement in the corner. The lightning flickered, illuminating a strand of bronze hair falling casually over one topaz eye. My breath caught in my throat, and I'm sure my heart stopped beating for the tiniest of moments.
I saw you standing in the corner
On the edge of a burning light
«You,» I managed to choke out, still not daring to think - or say- his name as my heart wouldn't allow such an action.
He nodded, so slightly that I thought I'd imagined it. He moved silently forward, placing one foot hesitantly before the next, but with as much poise and grace as I remembered. His eyes were not quite able to meet mine, and I couldn't help but find that a little odd. Even at the first day of school, where my blood was clouding his mind, he had been staring at me so intently. This was different, and I couldn't help but wonder why that was. I wasn't sure if I liked having this version of him coming towards me.
As he edged closer, stepping out of the shadow and into my line of view, I could finally get a good enough look at him. His hair was sprawled with wet diamonds, his cheeks stained by the rain raging outside. It was a perfect vision, and I wanted nothing more but to capture it forever. My memory just had to do for now, although that was really not reliable in the long run. It had a tendency to trick me every now and then.
I saw you standing in the corner
Come to me again in the cold, cold night
He had moved to my side, sliding off his jacket. Even through his thin, brown v-neck sweater, I could see his toned, hard chest, and I ached to crawl up against it again. The brown fit perfectly against the shade of his hair, and made him seem warmer than the cold 'blooded' man that he was. I moved to the side, allowing him his usual spot beside me. He slid in; every move was hesitant as he tucked the sheet between us so I wouldn't feel the chill radiating from his body. The familiar movement made me smile a bit, though I didn't allow it to reach my eyes just yet. I had no assurance that this was nothing more than a check-up after the stunt he pulled in the forest. He had always been guilt ridden, and I was sure that the sight of my heart being ripped out from my chest was hard for him to deal with everyday. Suddenly I felt grateful that he hadn't seen me later as I was stumbling through the forest with no aim of where to go or what to do with the pieces that was left for me put together. I don't think he'd be able to look at himself as a the human being I saw him as again, but more like the monster he viewed himself as.
«I knew you'd come back,» I said, instantly regretting breaking the comforting - yet unsettling - silence. Immediately, I felt his eyes resting on me for the first time since I'd noticed him standing in my corner. It was burning in the back of my head, but I wasn't ready to turn around and meet it just yet.
«I mean,» I continued, despite the loud voice in my head urging me to shut up and just enjoy the moment. «You said you didn't love me... but that's not true, right? You do love me, don't you?»
His arms pulled tighter around me, his cold hand brushing against my own. I shivered involuntarily, but luckily he didn't pull away. With his steady hand, he tilted my chin upwards, locking my eyes with his. He didn't say anything, but he didn't have to. His eyes had always, and would always, speak more than a thousand words ever could.
I knew I was right.
He kept locking my eyes with his, minutes passed and he hardly blinked. I couldn't get enough of him, I was drinking in the darkness of his eyes, the topaz darker than what was healthy for a vampire. His aroma was swirling around me, making me slightly dizzy. I felt my eyes sadden at the memory, and at the sudden realization of how much I'd missed his affect on me. My eyes reached up to his skin, electrics rushing through me as my rough hand met his soft cheek. I let my fingers soak up his face, tracing every curve, every outline and every bump - all as perfect as I'd imagined them. I felt a little awkward, and I was suddenly struck with the feeling of being at an art museum, touching and violating the paintings despite the warnings. The resemblance was uncanny; I had touched him, violated him and become attached despite the countless warnings of him being dangerous, not good for me. Of two things I was certain though; in the long run, he may not have been good for me, I had spent the last months like a zombie after all, with no recognition of how it was to act like a real human being again. Still, I wouldn't have traded off my time with him for anything in the world, especially not now when he was back with me again. The second thing was, he was a far more beautiful creation than any painting or statue cut in marble stone would ever be. Any artist would shake with fury if they'd try, and fail, at never be able to quite duplicate the picturesque creature that was sitting beside me.
I paid a little more attention to the purple rings under his eyes, tracing back and forth with concern. They weren't supposed to become that purple, and he should definitely know better than to allow that to happen. I noticed that he still had a few raindrops a little lower on the cheek. I pulled my hand back a little as I studied it. It was misplaced, yet it was so fitting for the moment. I brushed it gently away, as I'd brush his tears away if he was ever capable of shedding any.
«There's no need to cry. Everything's going to be okay now,» I murmured, mostly reassuring me than him. His eyes saddened, and the corners of his mouth pulled down. His eyes cried out emotions I couldn't name as they bore into mine.
In the midst of this, my own eyes had moistened and were threatening to spill. As he noticed this, he pulled my face to his chest, burying his nose in my hair as he breathed in my scent. I felt him sigh satisfyingly beneath me, and I couldn't help but let a quiet sob escape my trembling lips. I felt safe again. I savored that feeling with all my might.
I wasn't able to keep the tears from flowing, soaking his brown shirt. He didn't mind, he just kept holding me with the same force as always, squeezing gently every now and then when I couldn't help but let out a cry as I relived the horrendous pain of him leaving me. I was a little surprised that I had any tears left to shed; I'd been crying for what felt like nonstop since the day he'd left me. Despite the numbness, I had felt the pain, especially at night. Every night.
The minutes passed, and he was waiting patiently for me to stop. After a few final sobs, I managed to pull away a little from his hold and wipe at my tear stained cheeks. I could sense that my eyes were still moist, but I was confident I would be able to keep them from spilling over again.
«I'm sorry about that,» I whispered, taking a deep breath to steady my cracked my voice. He just looked at me, his mouth pulling a little at the edges, almost showing my favorite crooked smile. He lifted his hand and grazed from the side of my nose, over my cheekbone and down my jaw; so agonizingly slow and light. I wanted nothing more than to lean in to his hand, but I managed to keep completely still as he was reacquainting himself with my face. He leaned in, tracing my collarbone with his nose and placing his ear over my heart. It was thumping unevenly; raging and reacting to every touch and every flow of his scent that came my way at his movements. He listened intently, smiling every now and then at the erratic beating.
I dragged my hand through his haystack of a hair. It was a little stiffer than usual as the rain was drying in it. He vibrated underneath me, his lips moving too fast for me to even try and read his lips, his voice too low for me to comprehend a single word that was said. My mind instantly drifted back to the day in the meadow when his lips had moved in the same manner. «I'm singing to myself,» he'd answered simply. I didn't dare to ask if he was doing that again now.
I felt his arm snake around me, and within a second, he had me lifted and twirled around, now facing him, my face in his hands. His eyes traced my features, his thumbs caressing my cheeks. His lips were moving, only for a second, but no sound came out. Maybe my eyes were playing tricks on me again, I could never trust my eyesight after all. I saw him lean into me, that I was sure of, and I leaned into him, eager to close the little distance that was between us.
I gasped as his cold, marble lips met mine. With his hands on my face, he guided me, placing several feather-like kisses on my flushed lips. He was teasing me, a slight smile playing on his lips as he glanced at my puzzled expression in between kisses.
Somehow, I'd managed to snake my arms around his neck, my fists grabbing his hair, pulling him closer to me. He obliged; there was no way I would've been able to close the distance if he hadn't. This time, our lips clashed harder together, creating joltz of electricy. I'm sure he could feel it too as I heard him take a sharp intake of breath. He didn't pull away as I expected him to, instead, he pulled me even closer, his arms so hard against my back I almost couldn't breathe. I didn't mind, I definitely didn't mind. I decided to try my luck instead.
When our lips parted slightly, I traced my tongue along his lips, savoring the taste of him. His lips didn't part; he was still cautious and he didn't want my fragile skin anywhere near his venomous teeth. But he allowed our lips to move more forceful than ever, dancing in perfect sync. Only for a second,, the moment where he was giving in to his instincts as a man, did he allow our tongues to collide, his raw and cold against my own hot and swollen -it was the very first time, and I had to break apart, finally gasping for air.
You make feel a little older
Like a full grown woman might
As I sat there, panting, him onlytaking a few deep breaths before his breathing was back to normal, he looked at me with sad eyes. I tilted my head to the side, looking at him suspiciously. Something was up; I got the uneasy feeling in the pit of my stomach I always did when something was wrong. I was perceptive, he had to give me that.
«What's wrong?» I murmured, stretching my hand out to reach him. He took my hand in his, not meeting my eyes. I was on the verge of tearing up again, I had to swallow several times and remind myself to breathe for not to let the lump in my throat get the best of me.
He looked up, meeting my eyes, gazing for a long time. He looked like he was contemplating something, but what, I had no idea. He pulled me closer, his lips locking mine for the longest of time. I felt myself give in again, reaching out to get my hold on him. That was when he pulled away, not allowing us to be reckless for the second time in the same night.
«No, dont,» I whimpered, still holding out my arms. I waited for them to slam into his hard body, but they were met with nothing but cold, thin air. I opened my eyes, expecting to see his smug smile. I saw nothing.
He was gone.
Thousand emotions raged through me at once; happiness because he had been here; fear because I had no idea where he was now, and anger because he'd left me once again. I scanned the dark room, hoping he was just hiding in my closet because he'd heard Charlie stir in his bedroom, or hoping he'd sit in my chair, waiting idly for me to go to sleep.
Suddenly the realization hit me, so hard it almost knocked me over.
He'd never been here at all. My mind had played a trick on me. Again, I thought, but without the thrill of danger this time.
The wind was knocked out of me, and I crashed hard against the bed, my head avoiding the headboard with just an inch. My body suddenly reacted to the cold air in my room as I shook violently, my teeth clasping together with such a force I was worried it would wake up Charlie.
I realized that he had woken up anyway. In the far distance, I heard him flick on the lights on his path towards my room, before his footsteps came to a halt outside. It was then I heard my own voice; the pain evident as it bounced off the pale walls. It was excruciating, but I couldn't stop.
Somehow I managed to find my way under my blankets, pulling them over my head and muffling the loud sound of my pain a little. It wasn't supposed to be this way, I wasn't supposed to slip this badly.
As I laid there, I contemplated closing the window for the first time since he'd left. But even as the wind was hauling outside my window, crying its emotions and muffling mine a little further, I couldn't do it.
I had let myself believe. Believe that one day, he would come back to me. Believe that he would take me in his arms, his hushed voice mending the broken pieces of my heart as his apologies would ring in my ear. «Of course you're the only girl who's ever been capable of stealing my soul,» he'd sing, and I'd believe him.
I knew I would pay for this, not only in the morning, but perhaps in years to come. The hole around my heart was already aching, not even my arms clutched around my body was enough to hold me together. Eventually the belief would turn to sorrow if he were to never come back, but that was something I'd deal with then.
Now, in the midst of my despair, I felt an odd sense of relief washing through me, soothing the rough edges that encompassed the hole in my chest. I could still remember every little fragment of his being, though I'm sure my hallucination did not do him justice. Still, I was confident that I would never forget, that I could not forget the boy who crashed into my life, and changed it forever.
So, I wrapped my blanket harder around me, and kept the window open one more night. I didn't dare to look at the empty corner again. Instead I let my salty tears flow, not once unleashing my body from my arms to wipe them away. The only hushed voice that was heard in the night was my own, «He's going to come back to me someday. He has to.» I could hear the agony in my own voice, and I tried unsuccessfully to drown out the sound, welcoming another sleepless night.
But when you're gone I grow colder
In the cold, cold night