How NOT to get on my good side...
OK this past two weeks have been both good (New job YAY!) and bad (horrid self image, wanting to castrate every single last male who is not on my do not kill list, V-day.)
ok lets start off with the easiest and go further.
V-Day
I hate Valentines day, always have since I was like 8....mainly because all I ever got was a card from about two people unrelated to me, and those folks were guys (aside from the ONE YEAR I had someone for Valentines Day) so you can see why I hate it with a passion.
Horrid Self Image
Ok for those who don't know, I'm trans, yeah haven't seen a shrink about it yet, nor will I be able to any time soon. However this is starting to get me really depressed... and with the other two factors, depression's slowly turning into seething nihilistic hate for the world, yeah I may be cute, but this body is not what I want to see over and over again each morning when I get up. How I wish our medical system (especially the mental health system) was a bit less concerned about dollars and more about lives...
and the last... the whole castration bit...
Yeah, ok.... this is part of the whole furry thing. I can't stand this fandom anymore... not because of the zoos (ick) or the plushiphiles (ick) or the zootyiffers (LAUGH) but the guys.... yeah you heard me, the guys, seems like everywhere I turn and look for something at least appearing like comfort or such all I get is some guy who's only interested in nodding and smiling until I go quiet for a second and then he acts like.... shut up and lets fuck... ok first off I DO NOT WANT GUYS RIGHT NOW! you hear me.... GUYS ARE NOT WELCOME.... not saying I don't like guys as friends, or even guys as passing acquaintances, but unless I have known you for a long while (such as DeaD or Darter) or you strike me as somewhat intelligent (Doc, Twidget, or Tomae) I do not want anything to do with you beyond hearing me out and trying to be a friend.... hell right now I don't even want affection from a guy, mainly because I am tired of all those guys out there in the fandom... and they're part of the problem that causes most of the other problems in this fandom.... the whole stereotype of furs not having jobs... hmmmm maybe if these guys got off their lazy fat asses and went out and looked for one they wouldn't have to resort to being prison gay all the damn time. I mean come on people if you're so damn smart us it to procure something that allows you to get out from your mothers basement and earn a living.... CHIIIIIIIIIIIIRIST (pronounces as KEEEEEEEEEE-RAYST) use your brain for something other than figuring out how to get text-fucked by a guy who might just be looking for something a little more like a friendship.
am I a bit biased.... I dunno.... considering I'm starting to hate just about everything maybe just maybe.... hell I really hate to say it, but come on, why is it I can't go to a furmeet or anything else involving large numbers of furs.... because for some reason a lot of furs don't know about this thing called body language and the personal bubble.
for those who ask let me explain.
Average Person.... we'll call this Mr. X
Furry... we'll call this Mr. Yiff
1)I'm standing there looking like I'm uncomfortable
Mr. X appropriately walks towards me, offers a hand and introduces himself before asking if he can help, seeing as he can tell by my body language I'm probably not comfortable
Mr. Yiff sees Guy, comes in hugs me, and scritches me (sometimes from behind and without asking) and gets offended when I push him away, and start to yell at him.
2) I politely ask Mr. X/Mr. Yiff to back off.
Mr. X understanding boundaries quickly vacates until he can see my body language says I'm comfortable.
Mr. Yiff thinks I'm mean, and possibly not going to screw him.
3) Body bubble (remember this from grade school, it's the idea of personal space, and it is subjective to whoever is coming into it, i.e. significant other a body bubble of none to [with me at least] total stranger I'm suspicious of with a body bubble just in range of a kick to the groin and a knee to the bridge of the nose)
Mr. X respects personal boundaries and keeps a reasonable distance from me, oft times entering the bubble, but usually because he is merely crossing my path.
Mr. Yiff has no idea why I kicked him in the groin and gave him a bloody nose when he thought it would be a good idea to run up on me to hug me.
4) Body language, ok this is one for me, yes I'm averaging here, maybe generalizing, but so far I've had relatively few experiences that were not like these. (this goes back to #1 as does all of these)
Mr. X keeps his movements calm and nonthreatening (from a psychological standpoint) his voice is even and his eyes maintain contact, though are not staring, he tries to get rid of any fears I may have since he would like to find out why I look uncomfortable.
Mr. Yiff makes dramatic gestures, talks in a slightly loud voice, and does everything possible to ratchet up any anxiety I might have, in general he is the opposite of Mr. X
and lastly 5) upon listening to what is troubling me (for this example I'll use lack of understanding about use trans folk)
Mr. X though he is put off by it, is interested in conversation, and/or learning something new, even if he hates what I say, he doesn't think of me as some kind of object, but as a person.
Mr. Yiff thinks.... yiff yiff yiff, come on when is this guy going to get naked and take me up the poop shoot, yiff, yiff.
so there you have it, why I have started to really dislike this fandom, maybe if they'd learn to be a little more like Mr. X I wouldn't have such a problem with half of the guys in the fandom in my area, but them learning to be like Mr. X has about as much chance as me waking up as a full body pregnant girl tomorrow. (for those wondering that's about 0.000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000001%)
(edit, since it seemed to cause confusion, Misters X and Yiff are not real people, but composites showcasing the height of both [like Goofus and Gallant, Melvin and Jenkins, or {for those who remember the Disney cartoon} Mr. X Pedestrian and Mr Wheeler Motorist.}] unfortunately I doubt anyone will read this and will still flame me.)
ok lets start off with the easiest and go further.
V-Day
I hate Valentines day, always have since I was like 8....mainly because all I ever got was a card from about two people unrelated to me, and those folks were guys (aside from the ONE YEAR I had someone for Valentines Day) so you can see why I hate it with a passion.
Horrid Self Image
Ok for those who don't know, I'm trans, yeah haven't seen a shrink about it yet, nor will I be able to any time soon. However this is starting to get me really depressed... and with the other two factors, depression's slowly turning into seething nihilistic hate for the world, yeah I may be cute, but this body is not what I want to see over and over again each morning when I get up. How I wish our medical system (especially the mental health system) was a bit less concerned about dollars and more about lives...
and the last... the whole castration bit...
Yeah, ok.... this is part of the whole furry thing. I can't stand this fandom anymore... not because of the zoos (ick) or the plushiphiles (ick) or the zootyiffers (LAUGH) but the guys.... yeah you heard me, the guys, seems like everywhere I turn and look for something at least appearing like comfort or such all I get is some guy who's only interested in nodding and smiling until I go quiet for a second and then he acts like.... shut up and lets fuck... ok first off I DO NOT WANT GUYS RIGHT NOW! you hear me.... GUYS ARE NOT WELCOME.... not saying I don't like guys as friends, or even guys as passing acquaintances, but unless I have known you for a long while (such as DeaD or Darter) or you strike me as somewhat intelligent (Doc, Twidget, or Tomae) I do not want anything to do with you beyond hearing me out and trying to be a friend.... hell right now I don't even want affection from a guy, mainly because I am tired of all those guys out there in the fandom... and they're part of the problem that causes most of the other problems in this fandom.... the whole stereotype of furs not having jobs... hmmmm maybe if these guys got off their lazy fat asses and went out and looked for one they wouldn't have to resort to being prison gay all the damn time. I mean come on people if you're so damn smart us it to procure something that allows you to get out from your mothers basement and earn a living.... CHIIIIIIIIIIIIRIST (pronounces as KEEEEEEEEEE-RAYST) use your brain for something other than figuring out how to get text-fucked by a guy who might just be looking for something a little more like a friendship.
am I a bit biased.... I dunno.... considering I'm starting to hate just about everything maybe just maybe.... hell I really hate to say it, but come on, why is it I can't go to a furmeet or anything else involving large numbers of furs.... because for some reason a lot of furs don't know about this thing called body language and the personal bubble.
for those who ask let me explain.
Average Person.... we'll call this Mr. X
Furry... we'll call this Mr. Yiff
1)I'm standing there looking like I'm uncomfortable
Mr. X appropriately walks towards me, offers a hand and introduces himself before asking if he can help, seeing as he can tell by my body language I'm probably not comfortable
Mr. Yiff sees Guy, comes in hugs me, and scritches me (sometimes from behind and without asking) and gets offended when I push him away, and start to yell at him.
2) I politely ask Mr. X/Mr. Yiff to back off.
Mr. X understanding boundaries quickly vacates until he can see my body language says I'm comfortable.
Mr. Yiff thinks I'm mean, and possibly not going to screw him.
3) Body bubble (remember this from grade school, it's the idea of personal space, and it is subjective to whoever is coming into it, i.e. significant other a body bubble of none to [with me at least] total stranger I'm suspicious of with a body bubble just in range of a kick to the groin and a knee to the bridge of the nose)
Mr. X respects personal boundaries and keeps a reasonable distance from me, oft times entering the bubble, but usually because he is merely crossing my path.
Mr. Yiff has no idea why I kicked him in the groin and gave him a bloody nose when he thought it would be a good idea to run up on me to hug me.
4) Body language, ok this is one for me, yes I'm averaging here, maybe generalizing, but so far I've had relatively few experiences that were not like these. (this goes back to #1 as does all of these)
Mr. X keeps his movements calm and nonthreatening (from a psychological standpoint) his voice is even and his eyes maintain contact, though are not staring, he tries to get rid of any fears I may have since he would like to find out why I look uncomfortable.
Mr. Yiff makes dramatic gestures, talks in a slightly loud voice, and does everything possible to ratchet up any anxiety I might have, in general he is the opposite of Mr. X
and lastly 5) upon listening to what is troubling me (for this example I'll use lack of understanding about use trans folk)
Mr. X though he is put off by it, is interested in conversation, and/or learning something new, even if he hates what I say, he doesn't think of me as some kind of object, but as a person.
Mr. Yiff thinks.... yiff yiff yiff, come on when is this guy going to get naked and take me up the poop shoot, yiff, yiff.
so there you have it, why I have started to really dislike this fandom, maybe if they'd learn to be a little more like Mr. X I wouldn't have such a problem with half of the guys in the fandom in my area, but them learning to be like Mr. X has about as much chance as me waking up as a full body pregnant girl tomorrow. (for those wondering that's about 0.000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000001%)
(edit, since it seemed to cause confusion, Misters X and Yiff are not real people, but composites showcasing the height of both [like Goofus and Gallant, Melvin and Jenkins, or {for those who remember the Disney cartoon} Mr. X Pedestrian and Mr Wheeler Motorist.}] unfortunately I doubt anyone will read this and will still flame me.)