(no subject)
i spoke with her yesterday..for the first time in what....2 months...it
was weird..and its so scary to think that i havent talked to her..and
not fought with her in over 2 months...its sad to know that a
friendship to tight can be changed so quickly...change can be such a good thing...but then it can be the worst thing at the same time...we were like..sisters, she was everything
to me and i sure hope she felt the same...maybe it was me who
misunderstand everything she "did"...or maybe she really did it...but i
guess i'll never know....it was so nice to talk to her again, it was so
weird to think that for these past months ive been without her...yeah i
have to admit i miss her...probably more than i've ever missed someone in my life...but i guess...i'm just going to have to move on...things
wont go back to being as they were...she probably wouldn't want
it....even if she did im not sure she'd tell me so...i think she is scared of
me...scared to confront me about how she really feels..and if she
wanted our friendship to end this way...but it hurts to know that she
doesnt talk to me..and that i have to come up to her..and start the
conversation with her...she was my other half....the only girl who i felt understood me and misunderstood me at the same time...i spent every day of the summer with her...and knowing that meant nothing..or seemed like nothing to her...just plain hurts...you
can imagine how close two people can become in three months...we shared
everything...even things you dont share with yourself....its hard to
come by someone so understanding...so thoughtful..so kind...but yet so ignorant at
the same time...just when i regain my trust in you....i'm not sure i
should....im so confused and lost..and i just....dont know what to do...what do you do when you want to have someone's friendship back...but you know..it just....wont ever work out? :-/
more later....
xoxox
*lindsay*
more later....
xoxox
*lindsay*