chicken, pot, pie, gambling on football
I'm typing this on my phone from the 3rd row of a 15 passenger van somewhere in Pensylvania en route to my friend nick's house in York. We're on tour right now with a band called the mongoloids who we've been friends with going on 3 years but never actually played more than one show together. So far we played one disappointing show in Poughkeepsie, NY and one decent show at a skatepark in Scranton, Pa. The first show was dissapointing because just two months ago we headlined this same venue to just over 100 kids, a few months ago the Mongoz headlined to about 150... Last night: 30 kids. Do promoters even try anymore? Oh, sweet, you have access to a cool venue/bar/basement/warehouse and a myspace with the word "promotions" or "productions" in the moniker. You're a true martyr because you lost money on a show. Fuck off. One show on our tour in april really stuck out in my mind as being great, not because we made money or sold a bunch of t shirts, but because the whole night was a great example of people working hard and achieving something great. You may not think that 60 kids in a 50 capacity room is something to write home about but the thing I admired most was after our last song, I ran outside to breath and move our van, the kid running the show was handing out fliers and individually thanking all the kids who came out. You just packed a room on behalf of 3 touring bands and instead of going back to count your money, you get right back to work. That's what qualifies as admirable in a promoter these days and that's kinda sad. Que cera.
There's only 4 people in the van for this tour. Down a guitar player, hopefully not permanently. We're getting by performance-wise pretty well. Seems like Dan is being really hard on himself trying to make it work. Without a 5th and 6th member, these van rides are awfully quiet and I've been doing a lot of thinking about my life so here it is.
I sleep on a couch in a small spare room in my parents house. I have my own bedroom, but my mattress is usually on the floor of the van (where I sometimes sleep while on the road) and most of my belongings are in boxes for the inevitable move out of my parents house. Neither of my parents work. My dad is retired and my mom is on short term disabillity and will remain that way for the next 10 years I believe, until she can "retire" and collect from social security, the same path my dad was on beginning in 1991. Within the next year they'll be selling our house and moving into a 1-bedroom condo. My older sister is out in colorado with a good job, my younger sister is about to me a sophmore in college and will be living in boston for the next 3 years. I recently got a facebook account and got in touch with some old classmates who are now graduating college, or 4 years into a job which could become a carreer. I'm sitting in the 3rd row of. 15 passenger van in Pennsylvania. I have less than 5 dollars in my bank account. I haven't made a single decision in 3 years in which I haven't considered how the outsome would affect my band. It's been a pretty wild ride so far I can't even fathom what's next. I love this. I embrace the stress of long drives, being homesick, juggling personal and business relationships all over the world, finding creative ways to strech just a few dollars a day to eat and sleep comfortably. Its an experience that not many people can even dream of. Or maybe they just can't make sense of it. Sometimes I can't to be honest. From the average person's perspective, what we do is fucking insane. We sleep on floors, rape and pillage convenient stores nationwide of protien bars, skittles, and really bland tasting coffee. Very rarely do we have anything tangable to show for it. I think I left out the part where I get to play music every night but do I really have to get into that?
Two good friends of mine are back home right now dealing with lots of shit in their own lives. I really feel selfish complaining about being hungry or tired when I'm on tour. Like I said this band has been a huge part of my life for 3 years but its just that, only part. I think it's dangerous to let anything 100% consume you be it your job, a spouse, drugs, or some kind of religion, etc. Those are all just parts and should they should remain that way. Its hard to see the line between the real world and this nice little fantasy of ours in this van and on stage. Hard to believe that someone my age is raising a child or training in the military to kill someone right now. Impossible to realize that there are bigger problems than only getting $5 a day to eat.
I'm starting to ramble and I think we're almost at Nick's so I'm gonna end this. Maybe I'll keep updating this thing, maybe it will be a while. Who knows. If you want real updates on my life you can just call me 5085589794 or if your like me in the 21st century with a blackberry you can message me 31d02a19.
Later
PS my mood is bouncy because dan is driving like 100 miles an hour and this road is bumpy as fuck and I don't think he pressed the tow button so the van is shaking
There's only 4 people in the van for this tour. Down a guitar player, hopefully not permanently. We're getting by performance-wise pretty well. Seems like Dan is being really hard on himself trying to make it work. Without a 5th and 6th member, these van rides are awfully quiet and I've been doing a lot of thinking about my life so here it is.
I sleep on a couch in a small spare room in my parents house. I have my own bedroom, but my mattress is usually on the floor of the van (where I sometimes sleep while on the road) and most of my belongings are in boxes for the inevitable move out of my parents house. Neither of my parents work. My dad is retired and my mom is on short term disabillity and will remain that way for the next 10 years I believe, until she can "retire" and collect from social security, the same path my dad was on beginning in 1991. Within the next year they'll be selling our house and moving into a 1-bedroom condo. My older sister is out in colorado with a good job, my younger sister is about to me a sophmore in college and will be living in boston for the next 3 years. I recently got a facebook account and got in touch with some old classmates who are now graduating college, or 4 years into a job which could become a carreer. I'm sitting in the 3rd row of. 15 passenger van in Pennsylvania. I have less than 5 dollars in my bank account. I haven't made a single decision in 3 years in which I haven't considered how the outsome would affect my band. It's been a pretty wild ride so far I can't even fathom what's next. I love this. I embrace the stress of long drives, being homesick, juggling personal and business relationships all over the world, finding creative ways to strech just a few dollars a day to eat and sleep comfortably. Its an experience that not many people can even dream of. Or maybe they just can't make sense of it. Sometimes I can't to be honest. From the average person's perspective, what we do is fucking insane. We sleep on floors, rape and pillage convenient stores nationwide of protien bars, skittles, and really bland tasting coffee. Very rarely do we have anything tangable to show for it. I think I left out the part where I get to play music every night but do I really have to get into that?
Two good friends of mine are back home right now dealing with lots of shit in their own lives. I really feel selfish complaining about being hungry or tired when I'm on tour. Like I said this band has been a huge part of my life for 3 years but its just that, only part. I think it's dangerous to let anything 100% consume you be it your job, a spouse, drugs, or some kind of religion, etc. Those are all just parts and should they should remain that way. Its hard to see the line between the real world and this nice little fantasy of ours in this van and on stage. Hard to believe that someone my age is raising a child or training in the military to kill someone right now. Impossible to realize that there are bigger problems than only getting $5 a day to eat.
I'm starting to ramble and I think we're almost at Nick's so I'm gonna end this. Maybe I'll keep updating this thing, maybe it will be a while. Who knows. If you want real updates on my life you can just call me 5085589794 or if your like me in the 21st century with a blackberry you can message me 31d02a19.
Later
PS my mood is bouncy because dan is driving like 100 miles an hour and this road is bumpy as fuck and I don't think he pressed the tow button so the van is shaking